* Posts by Christoph

3317 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2007

How much did NSA pay to put a backdoor in RSA crypto? Try $10m – report

Christoph

"I'm sorry, where in the pledge of allegience is there any mention of American supremecy?"

The brainwashing isn't in that bit. It's in things like their 'history' lessons, where anything that shows the US in a less than perfect light is sanitised out. They are taught over and over that the US is better than any other nation and doesn't do anything wrong.

OMG, like, TOTES AMAZEBALLS: Facebook made me fall into SHARK INFESTED SEAS

Christoph

She wasn't checking Facebook

She was playing Lemmings

Boffins: On my command, unleash REMOTE CONTROL BULL SPERM

Christoph

Re: They want to use BULL sperm for that?

And you'd have to keep the offspring confined in some sort of maze.

China's 'Airpocalypse' forces pilots to learn BLIND landings in smog

Christoph

A few hundred meters? Luxury!

" smog cuts visibility down to a few hundred metres"

So what would they have done in London in the 50s when visibility could be a few feet or less? The stories of blind people guiding sighted people are true.

Thought of in-flight mobile calls fills you with dread? Never fear, US Dept of Transport is here

Christoph

Phones on planes is OK

You're quite welcome to make phone calls on a flight that I am on. Provided of course that you step outside to do so.

One European copyright law-to-rule-them-all? EU launches review

Christoph

"Should the provision of a hyperlink leading to a work or other subject matter protected under copyright, either in general or under specific circumstances, be subject to the authorisation of the right holder?"

That's barking mad.

Everything not specifically put into the public domain or where the copyright has expired is automatically copyright the author.

Such a law would require explicit permission for every cross-site link on the web. And that permission would have to be retained and able to be retrieved in case of dispute.

Search engines would require permission from every site they index.

The only way I can see for it to be viable is some mechanism to include the permissions in a robots.txt file or similar. And then what happens when that file is changed - how often does everyone have to scan to check that their links are still legal?

Meanwhile the rest of the world gets on with running the Web, linking to whatever they like, and laughing at the EU.

TPP leak: US babies following bathwater down the drain

Christoph

Re: P=Partner, not Parent.

[citation]

Creepy US spy agency flings WORLD SLURPING OCTOPUS into orbit

Christoph
Alien

I'm surprised they were allowed to admit the existence of their alien overlords

Quantum crypto pitches for data centre links

Christoph

How have they implemented the back door that the NSA required them to include?

OHM MY GOD! Move over graphene, here comes '100% PERFECT' stanene

Christoph

Re: 100 percent efficiency?

So give it lots of edges? Slice it up lengthways into multiple extremely thin strips. Keep going till it's just wires.

Christoph
Boffin

100 percent efficiency?

What exactly do they mean by 100 percent efficiency? If they are seriously claiming to have a room temperature superconductor then the improvement of micro-circuitry will be trivial compared to the other applications.

Room temperature superconductors would be game-changing in all sorts of different fields.

Gadget world's metals irreplaceable, say boffins

Christoph

Some of them are abundant

Some of those are so abundant that there's not any near term problem, but not all. Rhenium is not exactly floating around the place.

On the matter of shooting down Amazon delivery drones with shotguns

Christoph

Re: Guns won't work, so let's look at alternatives...

A couple of rockets dragging a very light net up in front of the drone. Or possibly use firework mortars?

IT MELTDOWN ruins Cyber Monday for RBS, Natwest customers

Christoph

It might almost make you think that getting rid of all your most experienced (and therefore most expensive) IT staff is a bad idea!

Eagle steals crocodile-cam, records video selfie

Christoph

Selfie

The eagle obviously wanted a selfie to post to his Facebook account

Swollen Reg reader recounts FALSE WIDOW spider HORROR

Christoph

Re: sounds like our legendary white tailed spider

"I heard a rumour, -it may have been an urban legend- that there was an animal in Australia that wasn't incredibly scary and likely to enslave humanity"

"Some of the Sheep" (Pterry)

Sceptic-bait E-Cat COLD FUSION generator goes on sale for $US1.5m

Christoph

Due Diligence

"Customers must comply with several criteria set by Leonardo Corporation"

1: Customer must be a loony

Ignore the gigantic assets write-off, Universal Credit IT 'is working' – UK.gov

Christoph
Flame

"6,000 new computers would be installed in dole offices across the country so that claimants can apply for jobs online."

Fine. Super. Terrific. Now how about arranging that there are some jobs available for them to apply for.

Genuine jobs, not the rubbish and fakes that turn up on those dole office lists.

The jobs that even if they existed wouldn't appear on those lists because the companies looking for workers aren't interested in the many thousands of applicants who only apply for a job for which they know very well they are not suited because they have to apply for a fixed number of jobs a week or lose benefit.

Real jobs that pay money, not forced unpaid workfare that lets companies avoid employing actual paid workers because they get the forced labour for free. The unpaid work that goes on much longer than the community work people would get as punishment for committing a crime.

How about actually doing something to help people rather than endless meaningless headline grabbing nonsense that does nothing about the problem?

London: Hey Amazon, wanna slip your speedy packages down our tubes?

Christoph

"London Underground said the five busiest lines would start running 24-hour services on weekends"

Sod running night-time services at weekends, how about they try running day-time services at weekends?

NSW privacy exemption shares personal data with private sector

Christoph

" timely interventions that keep young people who look like they're headed for jail into education or work."

So to get help into education or work you should first commit a crime?

How about helping all young people into education or work?

(Rather than the current UK policy of helping out-of-work young people into starvation and suicide.)

Sony patents LASER-FIRING Wi-Fi SMARTWIG with sideburn buttons

Christoph

Name for a science fiction Toupée

The 'Kirk'

Tiny, invisible EXTRATERRESTRIAL INVADERS appear at South Pole

Christoph
Boffin

Re: Who to truly believe

Your message is in itself extremely strong evidence that the laws of Physics are substantially correct.

Not by its content but by its existence.

If the Universe did not work in accordance with the laws of Physics then modern electronics would be utterly impossible in many different ways.

That includes the computer you typed your message on, the server which holds it, and the network that distributes it.

HURRI-KANO: Raspberry Pi kit for kids STORMS past funding target

Christoph

Re: Good, Good.

Consequences - yes, you might get taken to the, err, 'cleaners'

Qatar whips covers off giant footballing vagina

Christoph
Paris Hilton

So what?

That's pretty trivial compared to the London 2012 Olympics blowjob logo

Space tourist Dennis Tito begs US to BANKROLL HIS manned Mars flyby

Christoph

Any relevant biological research would be better done in LEO. So what scientific or engineering constraint requires that the married couple be mixed gender?

RIP Frederick Sanger: Brit bio-boffin who pioneered DNA sequencing dies

Christoph
Unhappy

And now there are no living double Nobel Laureates

Citizen Kano pitches easy-build Raspberry Pi for code-hungry kids

Christoph
Headmaster

I do have one hesitation about backing that. You get one of the very early kits.

I'd rather have one of the later kits after they've fixed the inevitable early problems!

KILL SWITCH 'BLOCKED by cell operators' to pad PROFITS, thunders D.A.

Christoph

"But it doesn't believe a software kill switch is the way to go."

"We will use any anti-theft measures at all, as long as they don't work" ?

Antidote for poisonous Aussie Red-Back Spider venom DOESN'T WORK

Christoph

Worst by far are the Drop Bears

Anonymous Indonesia claims attacks by Anonymous Australia

Christoph

pointed out that one of the movement's mottos is “United as one, divided by zero.”

Anon vs. Anon is therefore impossible, they suggested

You what? Did they really claim that something is impossible because their motto says it doesn't happen?

Maybe they should be called Anonymous Upton Park. Two stops short of Barking.

SECRET draft copyright treaty LEAKED: Meet the Trans-Pacific Partnership

Christoph

"Criminalisation of copyright infringement by all signatories"

Does it say how they will wangle this so that it will NOT apply to big companies stealing copyright material from individuals?

Bloke accused of using cop's innocent Facebook snaps in child sex chat

Christoph

He got off easy

"Dzamko soon found himself under scrutiny by his police force's internal affairs investigators"

If he'd been an ordinary citizen in the UK the police would have arrested him, destroyed his marriage, career and friendships, and then when he was finally proved innocent (possibly years later) have given him a vague management-speak apology and tuppence compensation.

If they hadn't managed to drive him to suicide of course.

Europe, SAVE US! Patriot Act author begs for help to curb NSA spying

Christoph

"But the NSA abused that trust"

But the bears promised not to shit in the woods! And the pope swore he wasn't catholic! How was I to know? (sobs pitifully)

Sysadmins forced to CLEAN UP after bosses WATCH SMUT at work

Christoph

Re: not entirely fair

But how many of those senior management would and have come down like a ton of bricks on hapless underlings who get caught doing exactly the same as that boss did?

Astroboffins solve birth of the Man in the Moon face

Christoph

The wau iu lya woou ?

Forget Wi-Fi, boffins get 150Mbps Li-Fi connection from a lightbulb

Christoph

Haas has also suggested that car headlights could be used for vehicle-to-vehicle data transmission.

Drive-by hacking? Having your car talking to every other car on the road sounds a good idea in theory, but could get extremely messy once the first security holes are found.

NASA's Jupiter probe wakes up after unexpected snooze

Christoph

"The safe mode did not impact the spacecraft’s trajectory one smidgeon."

With the accuracy that they need for navigation in this type of manoeuvre, I'm surprised that they weren't measuring the trajectory in milli-smidgeons.

ECHR rejects free speech plea over offensive online comments

Christoph

Presumably we're OK as long as we stay within what is generally acceptable in other fields?

For instance if we can be as offensive, abusive, defamatory and insulting as a government minister talking about the disabled and unemployed then that gives us a pretty wide field. It would be very difficult to be any worse than that!

Space boffins boycott Kepler 'scope talks after US bans Chinese guests

Christoph
Alien

Obviously the US should keep the Chinese out

The US has a clear interest in keeping knowledge of newly discovered planets from the Chinese.

If the Chinese find out about them, they'll get there first!

UK bankers prep for cyberwar: Will simulate ATTACK on system

Christoph

One day?

A one day war game - and how many weeks for the banks to get their systems working again after they crash because some trifling detail got missed?

NSA justifies hacking world's digital communications

Christoph

Citizens only

"respecting the rights of citizens"

In the US, they guarantees the rights of US citizens.

In Europe, they guarantee the rights of human beings.

Not that either side's intelligence pays a blind bit of notice to the laws of course. And the ConDems want to abolish the Human Rights act because it stops the government doing things it wants to do (which is of course the WHOLE BLOODY POINT).

Google's robot army learns Spanish

Christoph

I wonder if this would help interpret written material in extinct languages where we have a few known words? Though there might not be a big enough data set.

Look out, world! HP's found a use for Autonomy - rescuing Win XP bods

Christoph

Here, let me fix that for you

That will involved data migration from the old expired XP boxes to whatever newer Windows system might be chosen.

That will involved data migration from the old expired XP boxes to whatever new Operating System might be chosen.

Keeping with Windows might be easier in the short term, but the same problem will keep happening over and over. For some companies this is a very good time to look at making the switch to Linux.

Samsung's new image sensor promises better snaps in smaller devices

Christoph

I want it to feel like it's sturdy; some extra millimetres will help in that regard.

If you double or triple the size of the sensor, you double or triple the dimensions of the lens system. So the camera is 8 to 27 times bigger, not just a few millimetres.

Christoph

Re: Why bother with megapixels?

As I understand it, the problem is that with tiny pixels you get less photons per pixel. So you get lower signal to noise, and much less sensitivity to low-light conditions.However much later processing you add, you've degraded the original signal.

Christoph
Boffin

Why bother with megapixels?

Most of the pictures will never show up anywhere but on a screen. Very very few will ever get printed. So why bother with more megapixels than a screen will hold?

Keep the megapixels down and the pixel size up, and you get better pictures, less noise, and better low-light sensitivity.

The top-end cameras have ludicrous resolution unless you are printing in a glossy magazine.

Christoph

If the sensor is bigger, the lens system has to be bigger as well. That's why DSLRs are much bigger than smartphone cameras.

Ex-BT boss bags £9 MILLION bye-bye bundle, moves to key gov post

Christoph

Re: (Almost) lost for words.

I don't see what there is to complain about?

That more than half of the buggers make even more? While the poorest in the land have their benefits cut because the benefits office have a quota of how many they must cut regardless of circumstances?

ISPs set to install network-level smut filters despite Lib Dem opposition

Christoph

Re: Democracy by Mumsnet

I wonder how loudly Mumsnet will scream when they find that br**st cancer help sites are blocked?

'NSA PRISM spies' shake down victims with bogus child-abuse vids claims

Christoph

The biggest problem of all is that an innocent family member or friend might get accused of being the one who must have downloaded porn. This could in some cases have some really nasty results. This is not a trivial crime.