* Posts by Christoph

3317 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Dec 2007

Dropbox defends fantastically badly timed Condoleezza Rice appointment

Christoph

Re: Demonization

I remember her making a speech while on an official visit to Europe, defending the US against claims that they were torturing people.

It was so ludicrously and blatantly weasel-worded that it effectively amounted to an outright admission that they were doing exactly that.

Reprieve for Weev: Court disowns AT&T hacker's conviction

Christoph
Holmes

I wonder if that decision affects the legal principle that every patent violation happens in East Texas?

Come to Oz for sun, surf, ratting on co-workers and surveillance

Christoph

Re: Translation

Precisely. Security agencies always hype up the scare stories so they can be awarded more powers, and get forgiven when it's found they have been breaking the rules.

Every time the true facts have emerged it's been found that the scare stories bear no resemblance to reality.

Add together all the harm caused by all the terrorists combined, and it doesn't begin to approach the over a million deaths in Iraq due to the lies of the intelligence agencies.

Rumour: Next Apple iThing to feature 65-inch screen. Four-limb multitouch, anyone?

Christoph

Re: what use?

5 limb for male users?

Seagate brings out 6TB HDD, did not need NO STEENKIN' shingles

Christoph
Coat

Actual usage

"Seagate says its neat new drive can be used for:"

Porn collections

Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

Christoph

Re: Where are the values?

So what does this priest think about My Little Binky?

Homeopathic remedies contaminated with REAL medicine get recalled

Christoph
Boffin

Re: Protected title

If your landlady's homeopathic medicine wasn't working, she should have taken less of it.

Christoph
Alert

Danger! Do not stop taking your homeopathic remedy!

If you stop taking your homeopathic remedy you are likely to die of a massive overdose!

Apple vows to add racially diverse EMOJIS after MILEY CYRUS TWITTER outrage

Christoph

Re: Mohammed and Allah

Where is the Flying Spaghetti Monster icon?

Forget black hats – the best hackers are going grey and getting legit

Christoph

Legitimate?

"a legitimate source of income"

If you consider it's legitimate to sell to the US government so they can plant malware on millions of computers to help them spy on the whole world.

Planting malware on computers in foreign countries is still a crime in those countries, even if the US government has said it's OK.

ICO decides against probe of Santander email spam scammers

Christoph

If you've had your email database hacked, you admit the mistake and apologise.

If you've sold your email database to spammers you dismiss complaints contemptuously and refuse to admit that anything is wrong.

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Friday is Pi Day

Christoph
Joke

Re: Like so many other web stories, this only applies to America.

When do they celebrate in Indiana? (where pi = 3)

Twittapocalypse! Twitter implodes, locked out tweeps around the world

Christoph

They've found the problem

When they upgraded the system they typed in the correct command to reconfigure it, but that was a long and complicated command and it got truncated at 140 characters.

Indestructible Death Stars blow up planets with glowing KILL RAY

Christoph

Re: Very cool stuff - but...

No, let's all join in a reverent chorus from Monty Python

British Pregnancy Advice Service fined £200k for Anon hack, data protection breaches

Christoph
Headmaster

Re: Ouch

"Throwing random bits of the French language into a English conversation just makes a person look like a tit"

Are we to assume then that you are going to eliminate all words and phrases of foreign origin from your postings?

You're going to have a bit of a job there sunshine!

Time for the James Nicoll quote again?

"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."

Christoph

The information involved is far more sensitive. If that was published, some of the women involved would suffer serious social harm. Some of them would suffer serious physical harm.

If you are holding that kind of sensitive information you MUST PROACTIVELY make sure it is secure. "I didn't know" is not good enough.

Hubble 'scope snaps 200,000-ton chunky crumble conundrum

Christoph

“This is a rock"

Well no, actually, it probably isn't. It's more likely to be a loose pile of rubble with only self-gravitation holding it together.

Ever get the impression a telesales op was being held prisoner?

Christoph

That's not actually a joke.

People who are so desperate for work that they will take a call centre job will get the push because the forced labour from prisons is cheaper.

And any other job they try for has been taken by forced labour on Workfare.

Child sex abuse image peddlers dodge UK smut filters and demand Bitcoin payments

Christoph

Re: Innocent?

"The police and the CPS do excercise discretion strange though it may seem. Even were you to be charged there would still be a court case and the argument in that case would hinge around the definition of possession."

So the police can charge you if they feel like it. If they want a high profile case. Or if the Mail has just run another batch of stories. Or if there's been another case like Saville and they've been told to jump on everyone possible.

There will be a court case? Really? In an atmosphere of hysteria it is extremely common for people to wrongly be found guilty. Look at the number of IRA cases that were reversed many years later because they were blatantly unsafe convictions.

And if you do manage to get found innocent, the mud will stick forever. You will ALWAYS be the person who was charged with child porn but managed to get away with it. Anyway by the time the case grinds through a lot of the damage will already have been done.

Christoph

Innocent?

"stashing the content on an innocent outfit's servers"

If they are in possession of the images then they're guilty. Trivialities like not knowing about it are irrelevant, it's a strict liability offence.

Christoph

Re: Daily Mail headlines write themselves

Bitcoin causes cancer!

Japanese boffins build 'earring PC' for hands-free computing

Christoph

So to go with the people wandering along the road holding shouted conversations with thin air, we will now have people walking along, or sitting opposite on the tube, pulling a succession of weird grimaces so they can talk to their ears.

The world won't actually be full(er) of raving loonies, it will just seem that way.

LOHAN chap brews up 18% ABV 'V2' rocket fuel

Christoph
Mushroom

"Chlorine Trifluoride and MMH."

Don't even think of working with Chlorine Trifluoride.

Just don't, OK?

Cable thieves hang up on BT, cause MAJOR outage

Christoph
Holmes

Re: Terrorism

"we bring in a multiplier for every thousand people that your crime affected."

Exactly. Penalise them for the consequential damages.

When they cut the cable they know for a certain fact that it will cause great inconvenience and expense to a large number of people, and endanger the lives of some.

They are deliberately causing that harm by a criminal action. I see no reason they cannot be penalised for that harm. But then that would be logical, and this is a matter of law :-(

Prez Obama cyber-guru: Think your data is safe in an EU cloud? The NSA will raid your servers

Christoph

MRDA

London calling: Date set for launch of capital's very own domain name

Christoph

Re: How innovative can that be?

"How about .worcestershire or .shitterton?"

.scunthorpe

Without a smartphone your reptile brain gets a workout

Christoph

Re: Of course it's possible...

My phone does have a few games I've never used, and can get on the web with a really crap screen (I tried it once). Oh and a rubbish camera. But basically it does calls and text.

The battery lasts well over a week.

Facebook adds 50+ gender options: Stalking your 'Friends' just got more LGBT-friendly

Christoph

Re: WTF!

One more option needed.

"It's complicated"

Scotland to test mobe signals slammer jammer

Christoph

Are the phones really that difficult to trace?

The US can track down mobiles in Afghanistan closely enough that they can send robots to kill anyone who has committed the capital crime of happening to be near them. Are prisons that much more difficult?

UK spooks STILL won't release Bletchley Park secrets 70 years on

Christoph

I wonder what kind of computing industry we would have now if they hadn't kept this secret for so long?

Google views, reviews YouTube viewers' views with view to killing off spam shams

Christoph

"a place for meaningful human interaction"

Err, this is YouTube comments we're talking about???

'Maybe we haven't been clear enough about med records opt-out', admits NHS data boss

Christoph

The NHS promises not to sell your data.

How much is that promise worth once the NHS has been privatised?

Come to think of it, this data will be extremely commercially valuable. Is it being collected simply to boost the eventual sale value of the NHS?

Boffins tell ALIEN twin-sunned planets: You're adopted

Christoph

"Actually spawned by OTHER parent stars 'far, far away'"

Not necessarily. It's not clear from this story, but the planets might have been formed much further out and then migrated inwards.

The story does mention that forming further out is possible, and the various 'hot Jupiters' are thought to have migrated inward.

Unmanned, autonomous ROBOT TRUCK CONVOY 'drives though town'

Christoph

Re: New terrorist plan...

The trucks would never get as far as the terrorists.

The first village the convoy comes to, a few people stand in the road. Convoy stops. A swarm of villagers climb over the trucks and remove the cargo and anything else moveable.

A couple of minutes later the aerial surveillance arrives and finds empty trucks and no sign of the cargo.

Eurocops want to build remote car-stopper, shared sensor network

Christoph

Re: Feature Creep

"send their unique PIN and blow the wheels off."

You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

Gene boffins: Yes, you. Staring at the screen. You're a NEANDERTHAL

Christoph

Re: Define extinction

There's 'pure' humans in Africa - the ones who didn't move out, and didn't meet the Neanderthals or the Denisovans. Yes, those N******* are the pure bred ones, and it looks like the white skin of Europeans came from the Neanderthals :-)

UNBREAKABLE bendy phone screens built, thanks to SHELLFISH

Christoph

No more worries about dropped phones. Shell out for one of these and the world is your oyster. It's got real mussels!

Reg snaps moment when Facebook turned air Blu: 1PB box for unloved pics

Christoph

But the data is already stored

How long would it take to retrieve the data from the NSA's copy?

A BBC-by-subscription 'would be richer', MPs told

Christoph
Flame

Not every household

"Because the fee is levied on every household"

No. It's on every household that has a television.

The best bit of this change is if it stops them sending people to bang on my door and accuse me of being a criminal, and sending endless insulting letters. Because they are so hopelessly incompetent that they cannot grasp the idea that there are many people in this country who DO NOT HAVE A TELEVISION.

I don't have a television. I don't want a television. I don't have time to watch a television. There's practically nothing on television that interests me.

Yet they keep sending me letters with the envelope marked "immediate action required". Some dodgy salesman trying repeatedly to sell me a service that I have made it clear I do not want has no right whatsoever to 'demand' action from me. The only action they get is the letter straight into the recycling, unopened.

And the ones who bang on my door get told to get off my property.

But they still keep coming over and over.

Roll on the abolition of the licence fee!

Amateurs find the 'HOLY GRAIL' supernova – right on our doorstep

Christoph

No neutrinos?

"Early hopes that neutrinos from the new explosion might be detectable from Earth, however, appear to have been dashed because of the dusty environment of the explosion"

Some mistake surely? Neutrinos aren't going to notice something as trivial as a dust cloud. You need a light year's thickness of lead to have a reasonable chance of stopping a particular neutrino.

Do cops need a warrant to search your phone? US Supreme Court will rule

Christoph

Re: broad implications

There's also the question of whether there are any limits at all on them planting spyware and keystroke loggers on the phone before they give it back.

My name is Dabbsy and I am an EMAILOHOLIC

Christoph

Lots and lots of email addresses. 1 work, 1 personal, several for domains associated with various hobbies, and a large batch of individual email addresses for each company I register with, so I can tell if they sell my address to spammers and can then redirect the address to abuse@that.company

Clink! Terrorist jailed for refusing to tell police his encryption password

Christoph

Of course our wonderful honourable police would never dream of trying the same password, finding it worked, finding that the resulting data wasn't any use, then claiming that they couldn't crack it so they could pile another conviction on.

Open source project gives cars the Ikea treatment

Christoph
FAIL

Street legal?

For a start I can't see the roll-over bar.

Staffs Police face data protection probe over 'drink drivers named' Twitter campaign

Christoph

If it's good enough for the Yanks

This looks like a hi-tech equivalent of the 'perp walk' that US police use as extra-judicial punishment of accused people.

NHS carelessly slings out care.data plans to 26.5 million Brits

Christoph

"the leaflet might appear as junk mail to any householder who only opens and reads post that is personally addressed to them."

My lot were obviously worried that some households might think the leaflet was junk mail.

So they wrapped it round a whole load of actual junk mail before delivering it, to make bloody certain most people assumed it was junk.

Boffins claim battery BREAKTHROUGH – with rhubarb-like molecule

Christoph

What we want is...

Rhubarb Tart!

Christoph
Headmaster

Re: Rhubab haters

You need a whole pallet of rhubarb for your palate to enjoy it?

Gay hero super-boffin Turing 'may have been murdered by MI5'

Christoph
Headmaster

Re: @ TrishaD

" A vowel please carol."

Have an 'A' for Asexual - I think that's sometimes included.

Frankly it would be easier and there would be less changing it about if they just called it EXH - Everyone except heterosexuals.

How much did NSA pay to put a backdoor in RSA crypto? Try $10m – report

Christoph

Re: unlike in the UK....

"I got a few thumbs down for saying it, but the American constitution and system of government is a historically amazing human achievement. It was an isolated event drawing much inspiration from the French revolution (via B.Franklin ), and coming "hot on the heels" of the English civil war. But the ideal of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is simply an amazing observation."

Unfortunately one of the reasons it's isolated is that many other countries who established democratic governments found themselves invaded or subverted by the US to put in dictatorships who would be more amenable to doing what the US wanted rather than what their populations had voted for.