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* Posts by Christoph

2712 posts • joined 24 Dec 2007

Time to ditch the front door key? Nest's new wireless smart lock is surprisingly convenient

Christoph
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Drilling Brass

Using Brass to prevent drilling? How does that help? Drilling Brass is slightly more tricky than steel but with the right drill and the right technique it's perfectly straightforward - I've seen it done in the engineering factory I worked at years ago. Don't try it with a normal drill though, it will jam.

You chamfer the leading edge of the drill so it's a blunt chisel rather than a sharp edge. This breaks off the brass in small chunks rather than the spiral swarf you get with steel, so you have to keep withdrawing the drill to clear those chunks. Then it just works.

You'd presumably need to swap out the drill when you hit a different material so it makes it a bit more slow and tricky, but surely not massively so?

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Christoph
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Re: Lock makers that you can trust?

If your door opens outwards an intruder can grab it and pull it all the way open. If it opens inwards you can block it.

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Planned European death ray may not need Brit boffinry brain-picking

Christoph
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may not need Brit boffinry brain-picking

Just as long as they don't recruit James Nicoll (he of the Nicoll Dyson Laser)

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Drama brews on high seas as Playmobil ship running out of steam

Christoph
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I wonder why they didn't fit a solar panel? It should easily cope with a twice a day ping.

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CEO insisted his email was on server that had been offline for years

Christoph
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All emails, including attachments, were automatically copied to the boss. And also to an archive. Nothing was deleted.

When sales and the boss wanted to discuss a document that was on the file server, they sent it to each other as an email attachment rather than just linking to it..

Eventually the overnight backup didn't have enough time to run because the multiple email copies were taking so much space. A better backup system was not obtained because it would cost some fairly trivial amount of money (this was a company that made the techs (but not sales) put old printouts back through the printer upside down to save on paper (which meant they had to pay out for a new drum when it got damaged(possibly by paper with a staple being put through))).

When the server died, the latest backup was a month old. It cost a lot of money sorting out all the missing stuff and calming the clients.

A year later, out of interest, I checked with the hardware guy. The latest backup was still that same one, now 13 months old.

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Machines learned to assemble IKEA’s semi-disposable furniture

Christoph
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Assemble the Ikea furniture - maybe.

Decode the Ikea instructions - no chance.

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Super Cali health inspectors: Tesla blood awoke us

Christoph
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"Elon does not like the color yellow."

It interferes with his power ring?

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Surprise! Wireless brain implants are not secure, and can be hijacked to kill you or steal thoughts

Christoph
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attacks on brain-computer interfaces have shown "that the P-300 wave can leak sensitive personal information such as passwords, PINs, whether a person is known to the subject, or even reveal emotions and thoughts."

Will it be the UK or the USA that first makes these compulsory? To protect the children!

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Size does matter, chaps: Oversized todgers an evolutionary handicap

Christoph
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Re: Cock size

"Apparently the human penis is much larger than would be expected from a comparison with other primates."

Jack Cohen (the reproductive biologist) has commented that even if King Kong was built in proportion, there would still not have been a smile on Fay Wray's face.

So if anyone is bragging that he's built like a gorilla, it's his poor girlfriend you should feel sorry for.

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Europe wants cloud giants to cough up data from anywhere in 6hrs

Christoph
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"background checks on anyone who tries to export weapons from the bloc"

Does that include the people exporting billions of pounds worth of weaponry to those wonderful humanitarians in Saudi Arabia?

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Google to add extra Gmail security … by building a walled garden

Christoph
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Facepalm

"But if you pull email into a different email program, you will instead be presented with a link to the Gmail message."

"You have just been sent an email, click on this link to read it"

What could possibly go wrong with that?

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British government to ink deal for yet another immigration database

Christoph
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What exactly are the chances that this will all be up and working by B-Day, in less than a year?

Just what are they going to do when they find out that the replacement is nowhere near ready and the current system won't work any more?

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Great Western Railway warns of great Western password reuse: Brits told to reset logins

Christoph
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Re: We need a court action

"Passwords that have been used before should be rejected"

How would they know? If the passwords are stored properly salted then they can't compare even the hashed versions. And do you really want a message saying "Sorry, you can't use that password because someone else on this site is using it"?

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Christoph
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Re: They should at least stick to one domain name

I strongly suspected a scam since it had a link to reset my password!

However it used my name in the message, and was sent to the unique email address that I gave Great Western - if scammers had that then they'd already broken into my account.

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Want to terrify a city with an emergency broadcast? All you need is a laptop and $30

Christoph
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Re: "... warning sirens...only truly reliable method..."

"Beacons on mountain tops - the only reliable system"

As long as you've got a spare hobbit to light them.

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'Housemate from hell' catches 24 new charges after alleged nightmare cyberstalking spree

Christoph
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Re: Need help with a cyberstalker

Made mistakes? Hide? Run away? Stop using the net? Why the fuck should she be the one to blame, the one to have to change her life to try to get away? Why should someone with a serious mental problem be able to impose that on other people and make them responsible for it? Why should it be their fault that someone is a sadistic bully?

Don't blame the victim.

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Fear the Reaper: Man hospitalised after eating red hot chilli pepper

Christoph
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Re: In my youth

Wash your mouth out with a Tide Pod?

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They're back! 'Feds only' encryption backdoors prepped in US by Dems

Christoph
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Gurerfn Znl vf Jngpuvat Lbh

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Christoph
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"to come up with a secure way to allow only law enforcement to access information."

Law enforcement of which country?

Of the USA only? So the USA government can read the messages of everyone in the world? How exactly are they going to enforce that?

Or will they let other governments use it - so they can spy on the USA?

Will they ban strong encryption only in the USA? So everyone has to switch devices as they cross the border? If strong encryption is available just across the border, how will they stop USA criminals using it?

If international companies have to switch to weakened encryption when talking to their USA offices, they are going to move as much as possible out of the USA.

None of this seems to get mentioned - the politicians talk about it as if the USA was the only place in the world (which is not exactly unusual).

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White House: Is it OK to hijack, shoot down, or snoop on drones? Er ... asking for a friend

Christoph
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"concern has been mounting that drones will be used to kill civilians in the US as they've been doing elsewhere in the world.

FBI director Christopher Wray last year warned the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee that he expects terrorists will attempt to use drones in the US."

Kill civilians in funny foreign countries using drones controlled from a comfy video-games console thousands of miles away = brave noble hero.

Kill Americans using drones = terrorist.

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The Register Opera Company presents: The Pirates of Penzance, Sysadmin edition

Christoph
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Re: That was good

"Is there anybody who fits that description?"

"I've got a little list"

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Details of 600,000 foreign visitors to UK go up in smoke thanks to shonky border database

Christoph
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What's the problem?

They still have exactly one year until B-Day when the systems absolutely must be working perfectly.

I'm sure that with a whole 365 days to work in they will be able to get everything sorted, no problem.

At the same time as they improve border surveillance by strapping cameras to the flying pigs.

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Fed up with Facebook data slurping? Firefox has a cunning plan

Christoph
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Re: Isn't that what Internet Explorer is for?

IE is my browser of last resort if a site won't work on anything else.

I use Chrome for Facebook to keep it isolated, Firefox with shedloads of security add-ons as my main browser, Pale Moon for a few sites that break with all those security add-ons, and a couple of other browsers for special purposes.

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What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

Christoph
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What a great steaming stinking pile of billgates. (Hi MS, you'll have to ban that word now).

I refer Microsoft's lawyers to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram.

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UK smut overlord declares age checks should protect users' privates

Christoph
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This is a British law to stop British people looking at things the Tories think nobody but themselves should be allowed to view.

How will it be enforced on foreign sites? Will they order all UK ISPs to block an ever-increasing list of foreign sites? If they can't block the Pirate Bay how are they going to block every single one of these?

How will a site know that the visitor is currently in Britain? If they are just using IP address there are all sorts of ways round it. What happens when they block someone who is in another country from viewing entirely legal sites?

What about a mixed content site? Are they going to block every Google blog because some have adult content? The whole Wikipedia site once got blocked due to a single image.

The USA has some very strict laws on drinking age - getting a Fake ID is practically a rite of passage!

This is going to be seething with false negatives and false positives.

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Nine Iranians accused of cyber-swiping 30TB+ of blueprints from unis, biz on Tehran's orders

Christoph
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If the Universities were hacked over the Internet, just how did the US authorities identify who was at the keyboard in another country doing the hacking? And if this ever comes to court how will they prove it to the satisfaction of a jury?

Oh no, of course - this will be one of those secret trials where there's no jury and the defendants don't get to see the evidence against them.

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Zucker for history: What I learnt about Facebook 600 years ago

Christoph
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Re: Attributed to Socrates, circa 400 bc

Attributed to Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC – 7 December 43 BC:

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.

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Reflection of a QR code on PoS scanner used to own mobile payments

Christoph
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"This attack also detects the configuration of the QR code and subtly changes its appearance"

How does it do that if it's simply watching the reflection of the code? Fire the flash somehow? But that would be noticed.

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Tiangong-1 re-entry window shrinks: Duck from March 30 to April 3

Christoph
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Hopefully it will provide a spectacular show on TV for the British National Science Fiction Convention being held in Harrogate 30th March - 2nd April.

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Prez Trump's $60bn China tariff plan to hit tech, communications, aerospace industries

Christoph
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Terrible the things those fiendish orientals get up to. So different from our clean upstanding western democracies who haw clear and simple trade rules: "I have a big gun. Give me your money".

Try telling various countries in sub-Saharan Africa that the west deals honestly with them!

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MIT boffins build rubber robot, invade privacy of unsuspecting sealife

Christoph
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"SoFi (or RoboFish as The Register feels it should be called)"

You mean you didn't suggest Fishy McFishface?

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US mulls drafting gray-haired hackers during times of crisis

Christoph
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Oh yes, and "Learn to code, and you can be eligible for the draft for your entire career!"

How to encourage more people into computing.

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Christoph
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"the conscription of technical talent, including those with computer-oriented skills"

"consider how to encourage more people to participate in military, national and public service"

'Encourage' people by conscripting them? Did the Ministry of Truth write that?

Force middle-aged highly-skilled coders to join the army and leave their families, give them low pay and lousy conditions, subject them to military discipline and force them to obey the orders of incompetent unqualified Ruperts, tell them to help you invade other countries and massacre the populations, and then order them to write good code? Whoever thought of that has no conception whatever of the process of writing high-quality code.

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Symantec cert holdout sites told: Those Google Chrome warnings are not a good look

Christoph
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Re: That Chrome error message is dangerously misleading.

Possibly it's the generic warning they show for all non-valid certificates if they haven't coded anything specially for Symantec but have simply removed it from the list of trusted authorities.

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Christoph
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Re: Old news

HSBC's site still says Symantec

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BOOM! Cambridge Analytica explodes following extraordinary TV expose

Christoph
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WTF?

Something is weird here

For the first time we have a scandal that actually is comparable to Watergate and is in fact far bigger than that.

But nobody has yet named it [something]Gate!

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Techies building UK web smut age check tools: You'll get a spec next week

Christoph
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"We can't put rules about data protection into the PAS… That is in the Data Protection Bill," he said. "So we refer to them, but we can't mandate them inside this PAS – but it's in there as 'you must obey the law'... [perhaps] that's been too subtle for the organisations that have been trying to take a swing at it."

So that's all right. Privacy will be protected because the law says it will be. Never mind if it turns out to be technically impossible to combine robust age verification with anonymity - the law obviously trumps technical impossibility.

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Researchers create AI attacker to defeat AI malware defender

Christoph
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"neural networks are subject to adversarial attacks."

Such as the Berryman Logical Image Technique

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Russian boffins blow up teeny asteroids with tiny laser... to work out how to nuke the real thing

Christoph
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The Tsar Bomba was claimed to have been throttled back to about half its maximum possible yield, because setting it off at the full power of about 100 Megatons terrified even the loonies who built the thing.

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Former Google X bloke's startup unveils 'self flying' electric air taxi

Christoph
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"London only allows helicopter flights over the Thames"

Could you please tell that to the police helicopters that circle round and round and round near my house at 3 in the morning?

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Keep Calm and Carillion: Outsourcers seek image rebrand after UK construction firm crash

Christoph
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“Outsourcing is and remains a critical part of public sector service delivery”

Because taking a service that is run for the public good and making it run for private profit will obviously produce a better service (because it's run solely to make money) with less cost (because you have to pay the shareholders as much money as possible as well as provide the service).

Unless you happen to live in the real world, that is.

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UK digi minister Hancock suggests Facebook and pals give your kids a time-out

Christoph
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This 'age verification' is of course nothing whatever to do with making sure that everyone is identifiable and can be tracked.

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Identifying planets with machine learning, dirty AI searches, and OpenAI scholarships

Christoph
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Re: Asarian Humlion

AKA Rishathra

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Department of Work and Pensions internal docs reveal troubled history of Universal Credit

Christoph
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Delay publication of the report for several years.

State that it was all years ago and the problems have now been fixed.

Rinse. Repeat.

While the citizens of this country who it is your job to help are driven to despair, starvation and suicide.

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Screw everything! French swingers campsite up for sale, owners 'tired'

Christoph
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But according to Jonathan Coulton they can't open until the first of May each year.

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Fresh docs detail 10-year link between Geek Squad informers and Feds

Christoph
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It's not at all unknown for someone repairing a computer to search for *.jpg in case there's some interesting porn they can make a copy of. Searching the unallocated space is something else entirely.

If it's done at the direct request of the government and paid for by them it hardly counts as not being performed by them.

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Pasties in SPAAAAACE: Cornwall hopes for slice of £50m spaceport cash

Christoph
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Re: "delicious, meat-filled pasties"

Wait until we get 'Cornish' pasties that were made in the USA, as the yanks are now demanding. You'll long for the days when you got actual natural food like potato in them. You'll get whatever is cheapest and doesn't actually poison you until after you've walked out of the shop.

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UK peers: Is this what you call governance of facial recog tech? A 'few scattered papers'!

Christoph
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At the moment you can be arrested for the crime of going to Notting Hill Carnival while looking vaguely like a known criminal. In the future you will get nicked every time you walk down the street.

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With IoT you too can turn your home into a giant flashing 'HORSE BIRTH NOW' klaxon

Christoph
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Joke

What if the power supply fails?

That gadget that fixes to the horse has to undergo a lot of stress. The power from the battery tends to get disconnected unless you use the correct horse battery staple to fix it on.

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Euro Commission gives tech firms an hour to take down terror content

Christoph
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Standard tactic

The usual trick. We can't solve this, so we simply make a law that someone else has to solve it, and impose draconian penalties if they don't.

This means of course that the tech firms will have no practical option but to simply remove stuff that's even slightly suspicious, with no checks at all. And the governments can say "Well we didn't tell them to do that, so it's not our fault."

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