* Posts by Herby

3058 publicly visible posts • joined 14 Dec 2007

Divert the power to the shields. 'I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain!'

Herby

Toothpaste tube caps...

These are actually called "wire nuts", and have a small helical sprint thingy inside. They actually work quite well and can handle the required current and are VERY sturdy.

Yes, we here in the USA (and Canada to some extent) have pretty strict electrical codes to follow, and for the most part it works quite well.

Herby

Re: Specifications

Schiphol Airport, which happens to be several meters below sea level.

Do the full environmental test, and go to Death Valley. Temperature and elevation in one simple test. Of course it might be more comfortable at night.

One person's harmless japery can be another's night of LaserJet Lego

Herby

You laugh...

Back in the 80's or so, the engineers at Apple hooked up a voice command unit to an elevator. Posted a note about it, and nobody believed then somebody actually demonstrated it, and it did work. Sometimes you can take everything on April 1 as a joke.

BOFH: Oh, go on, let's flush all that legacy tech down the toilet

Herby

Sounds like...

A S**t storm to me. Pay toilets all around.

Fix LibreOffice now to thwart silent macro viruses – and here's how to pwn those who haven't

Herby
Facepalm

Re: Why, oh, why?

"Quite so. In accordance with the Unix tools philosophy - each tool should do one thing as well as it can be done. To do complex things, you chain the tools together."

Spoken like someone who hasn't installed EMACS (yet).....

He's coming for your floppy: Linus Torvalds is killing off support for legacy disk drive tech

Herby

You can do alot with a floppy...

Sometimes a physical connected floppy is a good thing. You can fudge all the parameters and get a bit more storage (1.7Mb) to play with. Also some other devices (I have an EPROM programmer) use them for programs/data transfer. Yes, 1.44 MB IS limiting, but very useful. To be sure, the driver hasn't changed (I suspect), so there isn't any real reason to NOT keep it around.

Of course, the driver might be larger than the drive it is to support, which is normal these days.

Now about that printer port.........

Rise of the Machines hair-raiser: The day IBM's Dot Matrix turned

Herby

Four Yorkshiremen... (aka the first liar doesn't have a chance)

My story (admittedly second hand, but I know the protagonist) was back in the 70's. We had nice IBM 2741 terminals in use and there were all over the place. The female programmer (yes, even in the 70's) with long hair leaned over and got her hair caught in the works of the Selectric mechanism, while it was nicely typing out things. She reached for the on/off switch, but not before a couple of inches were tangles up. The IBM CE (Costumer Engineer, aka repair guy) was called, and his solution was (as observed here) "cut the hair". Barbara (her real name) didn't like this solution, and being surrounded by LOTS of male engineers, they came up with the solution. You see there was an identical terminal right next to the subject one, which lent itself to investigation on how to disassemble the problem one. The end result was: No hair cut, and two disassembled terminals for the CE to put back together. The CE wasn't to happy about this, and the whole incident was written up in some note published periodically by the computer center.

I fully suspect that Barbara is retired by now as she was born during the war (as I was told). She was an excellent programmer!

Let's talk about April Fools' Day jokes. Are they ever really harmless?

Herby

Finding error messages...

The 'strings' command is your friend. One can find ALL sorts of stuff about a program with this. Much like spelunking in an unknown cave.

Herby

Re: That code..

Sorry...

The PROPER three states of a Boolean are:

True, False, and "File not found".

Everybody knows that!

Amazon: Carbon emissions from our Australian bit barns aren't for public viewing

Herby

Pardon me sir.....

You are mistaking me for someone who actually gives a damn.

It is all kinda silly. Look at their annual report. It might have a line item for "power costs" or some such, and go back from there.

On another note: I made a cross country (USA) plane trip reservation. Lo and behold, they now include how much CO2 the trip is emitting. Like I really care!

Oh, yes, burning wood is "carbon neutral".

US Cyber Command warns that the Outlook is not so good - Iranians hitting email flaw

Herby

Now where is the patch for.....

That Windows XP machine that is still being used by my bank... Fixed two years ago, we can't do that...

Oh, yes, I don't use any Microsoft products at home. Work, another matter (*SIGH*).

If servers go down but no one hears them, did they really fail? Think about it over lunch

Herby

"Black power"

Is usually found in power cords, but I digress. Usually the outlet corresponds to the voltage delivery system. At least you hope that that is the way it is. Back in my 3rd form days (a LONG while ago), the place I was schooled at we VERY "british" for being in the USA. A couple of older buildings were actually wired for 240 volts (yes, they were VERY old). Since everyone knew what to expect, transformers abounded for such mundane things as record players, and refrigerators (very big transformer). We didn't have much other stuff, as this was decades before PC's. I was tasked to make a recording with a nice reel-to-reel tape recorder in a place that I didn't know was a 240 volt building (ooops!), and promptly blew the fuse. The outlets were the same as the 120 volt power elsewhere, so I didn't know. My clue was that the light bulbs were 240 volt, so I quickly got another tape recorder and did my work. I suppose someone else changed the fuse.

Ah, youth. Yes, it was over 50 years ago.

In my garage, I do have a nice 240 volt outlet, and it has the proper NEMA 6-15 socket that has the horizontal blades, not the vertical ones for a 5-15 outlet normally used. Yes, it is labeled 240 volts as well!

Honey, hive had it with this drone: Couple lived for years with thousands of bees in bedroom wall

Herby

Happened to me too (first liar doesn't get a chance),,,

In my case it was in the family room near the chimney (in the ceiling). When the beekeeper came out, he first took IR scans of the ceiling to see where they were. After that, he cut the ceiling open and vacuumed up the bees (he had a specialized vacuum container). Then he took out the hive, which looked like it was a work in progress for a while (years?).

Yes, I have pictures of the hive, after the bee removal, before the hive removal. Quite a complex construction if you ask me.

50 years ago: Apollo 10 takes an unplanned spin above the lunar surface – and sh!t gets sweary

Herby

Charlie Brown & Snoopy...

What about Linus & Lucy...

Other than that is the title of a Vince Guaraldi jazz riff used on the _Peanuts_ specials.

Dedicated techie risks life and limb to locate office conference phone hiding under newspaper

Herby

"Hamlet's Mania"

Was explained to me when I was in grade school. The general gist is that the LOUDER the complaint, the less serious it actually is.

So, if you encounter the shouty person, you can basically ignore it, BUT if you hear something like "Houston we've had a problem" in a calm and normal speaking voice, expect it to be VERY serious.

The original story about "Hamlet's Mania" was about injuries as a child, but it has meaning here.

Hours before Congress backs robocall blocking law, guess what the FCC boss suddenly decides?

Herby

Give the carriers (phone companies) a piece of the fines...

If the phone companies had some of the fines imposed for not following the "do not call list", things might be more fruitful. Incentives work wonders for curing problems.

San Francisco votes no to facial-recognition tech for cops, govt – while its denizens create it

Herby

Eyewitness Identification?

Isn't this "facial-recognition". using an alternative computing processor (human brain)? Would this be illegal as well?

Legal briefs to follow...

Techie with outdated documentation gets his step count in searching for non-existent cabinet

Herby

There are simple devices that help in the calming of requestors...

You need to get one of these.

They are quite useful. Ones in the other binary are available as well. Wonderful devices for the BOFH's desk

Put a stop to these damn robocalls! Dozens of US state attorneys general fire rocket up FCC's ass

Herby

Fines?

Maybe if the fine was doubled and split 50/50 with the phone provider. Incentive works quite well.

Everybody wins!

Personality quiz for all you IT bods: Are you a chameleon or an outlaw? A diplomat or a high flier? Vote right here

Herby

Dilbert?

From the looks of it, these people have never read the comic strip "Dilbert". You need to pick one of the characters and go from there.

At least we get PHB's following these categories.

To really be fair, you can't pick your character, the others need to pick it for you. Then you are stuck with it. Of course this task makes picking the PHBs in the world much more accurate!

Cool story, brew: Utah karaoke crooners receive cold, refreshing shock as alcohol authority refuses beer licence

Herby

Salesman...

I was told of a story that there was a nice Mormon fellow who was in outside sales. The bosses were wondering why his expense account charges were so small, then they found out. No wining and dining for him. They had to let him do other work.

On the other hand, if you ARE in the church, you ARE taken care of if you happen to come across in bad times.

Me? Yes, I have relatives (cousin) who live in that part of the world, but my (now deceased) grandparents weren't of that persuasion from what my mom says, it was an enlightening experience to be a "minority".

Bitcoin drops 7 per cent on New York Attorney General's allegations of $850m fraud by Bitfinex

Herby

It really isn't a currency unless...

Like a language, it has an Army (Navy/Air Force/Marines) behind it as well as some taxing authority.

Of course Bitcoin has none of these, and is just a piece of paper (or bits somewhere). Of course one might trade Bitcoin for wonderful swap land in New Jersey (or Florida).

The good news is that the ransom for people "not telling" about taxes is a little cheaper now (if anyone is stupid to pay for it!).

BOFH: It's not just an awesome app, it'll look great on my Insta. . a. a. AAAARRRRRGGH

Herby

Re: You'd have thought...

"The only one who can adjust anything in MY car is me".

If it were only that simple. When you deal with a significant other that is past menopause, things become quite difficult. Those "personal summers" are not easy to deal with!

Owner of Smuggler's Inn B&B ordered to put up a sign warning guests not to cross into Canada

Herby

Re: Both sides?

The phrase: "Use of this product in a manner inconsistent with its labelling is a violation of Federal law." is meant to protect the supplier from lawsuits. If a person tries to sue you for using the product wrong, they admit to a violation of federal law, and as "ignorance of the law is no excuse", they might be prosecuted for it, and become negligent in the process, voiding the lawsuit.

Actually pretty clever.

Not to significant other: Do not use bug killer as hair spray!

Herby

Re: a victim of circumstance?

"actual conspiracy"??

You mean calling your place "Smugglers Inn"?

Thank you, your DNA data will help secure your… oh dear, we've lost that too

Herby

Hotels I've visited recently...

Had their outer doors locked "after hours", and the room key card would let you in pretty easily (of course it had to be inserted correctly). The problem is that if you have an impatient SWMBO who wants to get to the room quickly for whatever reason, and has forgotten her card which you TOLD her that she might need, it becomes an interesting experience to avoid being beaten up and cursed at. Alas, life goes on, and we all adapt.

Of course, some of the antics of "security" (at least in the USA) are to prevent the inevitable sue ball that some maligned person will put forward when they were accosted by a maligned member of the public. And so it goes.....

Complex automation won't make fleshbags obsolete, not when the end result is this dumb

Herby

Artifical Intelligence...

...isn't

I learned that long ago!

It's an Easter Jesus miracle: MS Paint back from the dead (ish) and in Windows 10 'for now'

Herby

Wondering...

IF the code that runs on W10 has ANY resemblance to the original code from "way back when". It might be a textbook case of how "backward compatibility" works in W10.

Personally, I suspect that some code might be from a galaxy far far away, I suspect not much. Of course, we will never know (*SIGH*)

Windows 10 May 2019 Update thwarted by obscure tech known as 'external storage'

Herby

Re: How To Recover Volume Names

"a total of 22 usable volume numbers -- a total which should be enough for anyone!"

Oh, and 640k is enough memory for everyone too!

Like that other bloke who rose from the grave, the El Reg security desk is back this week...

Herby
Facepalm

I've always wondered...

With this "dark web" and such, why isn't it infiltrated by some nice law enforcement organization, maybe an international one?

I mean if there is such a den of thieves, we (the good guys) ought to be after them.

Maybe there is such thing, might be called INTERPOL or some such.....

User secures floppies to a filing cabinet with a magnet, but at least they backed up daily... right?

Herby

Then there is the "send me a copy"

And the photo copy is sent thru the FAX machine.

Many times the "user" hasn't been given ANY instruction, and thinks that "Well, it prints on the page", and thinks typewriter, and carbon copies.

Now where is that cup holder??

Patch blues-day: Microsoft yanks code after some PCs are rendered super secure (and unbootable) following update

Herby

Microsoft's QA is working...

...just as planned. Welcome to beta test.

Apple disables iPad for 48 years after toddler runs amok

Herby
Joke

Pretty simple solution...

Just get in the time machine, and go forward. Doc Brown might be able to help you with this.

Not difficult at all.

Fake Google robocallers hit with $3.4m fine – but it turns out that the joke's on you

Herby

Wrong Agency...

Need to call in the FBI, and charge them with WIRE FRAUD. Then haul them off to jail. A little CRIMINAL liability might change their tune!

Two Arkansas dipsticks nicked after allegedly taking turns to shoot each other while wearing bulletproof vests

Herby

Firearms and Alcohol

When mixed rarely make for good news.

I suspect that there are other examples, but this one is a good one.

When it goes bad, there is usually a Darwin Award in the wings.

BOFH: Tick tick BOOM. It's B-day! No we're not eating Brussels flouts...

Herby

Fruit baskets NO!

Donuts YES!

Say in nice Homer Simpson voice!

Oh, and probably cheaper as well, and less messy too.

NASA 'nauts do what flagship smartphone fans can only dream of: Change the batteries

Herby

Re: Phones with replaceable batteries

You would think that it would be "easy" with replacement batteries. The problem is that when you just want to get some data off of the "failing" phone, you might think that plugging it into a power source would be enough to get it viable to get the data from the device. Unfortunately in my case I need to have the battery replaced on a phone that I really don't want, JUST to get the data from it.

This is insane, and I am currently beating my head against the wall about it.

(*SIGH*)

Chap joins elite support team, solves what no one else can. Is he invited back? Is he f**k

Herby

It all boils down to...

No good deed goes unpunished.

Better luck next time.

Holy sh*tsnacks! Danger zone! Edinburgh Uni's Archer 2 super 'puter will cost a cool £79m

Herby

For that money...

You could buy a BUNCH of Raspberry Pi's and make a GIANT cluster. It might even do some computation in parallel.

Oh, there might even be some money left over to figure out how to compute the answer as well.

Yes, I believe that somewhere there is a cluster like this actually doing some work.

Artificial Intelligence: You know it isn't real, yeah?

Herby

Isn't!

Well that is what "Artificial Intelligence" is these days.

Pretty simple if you ask me.

Roses are red, this is sublime: We fed OpenAI's latest chat bot a classic Reg headline

Herby

Goes to show: Artifical Intelligence...

...isn't!

And probably never be.

Why does that website take forever to load? Clues: Three syllables, starts with a J, rhymes with crock of sh...

Herby

Every web site should...

Make its "programmers" load pages using dial-up (57k) speed. If it were a requirement, things might speed up a bit. Every time a web page loads, you get ALL sorts of stuff loaded in, taking up bandwidth as well as memory.

While I used to use noscript, I don't know, and I might go back to is soon.

If you want a vision of the future, imagine not a boot stamping on a face, but keystroke logging on govt contractors' PCs

Herby

"at zero cost"

I doubt it. Somebody needs to buy/install/maintain the software and keep it for 7 years? That is NOT a zero cost event. Someone in this case is the state contracting for business. I'm sure that the company promoting the service isn't going to give away the software for free, and then there is a server or two where screen shots can necessarily bog things down. The software necessary will probably only work on Windows Vista anyway...

No, no thanks. No soup for you.

Of course, the internal state owned projects (DMV anyone) won't be subject to any of this nonsense.

620 million accounts stolen from 16 hacked websites now for sale on dark web, seller boasts

Herby

I now suspect...

That a bunch of email addresses will get extortion letters that say we have your web cam feed, and we know what you were doing while watching a video. It seems that this is a much more lucrative than trying to get bank credentials or the like. While you send out email to 1000's of addresses, and get a couple to bite and send you back $$$ (in bitcoin form), there seem to be suckers born every minute.

Of course, maybe this seller bought said records and did his thing, and sold off the used addresses after he found it might be too much work to make money from them. Oh, well.

Reliable system was so reliable, no one noticed its licence had expired... until it was too late

Herby

On dates...

One piece of software I wrote only kept the last digit of the year. For the most part it worked just fine, as I had another table that expanded the last digit to a (get this) a two digit year. That was OK as well. Turns out that the company only lasted around 5 years, but I continued to do some consulting after that.

Yes, it was memory limited, it was the '80s and I was using an 8 bit micro.

Life goes on. I still have a machine close to that one in my garage.

Techie finds himself telling caller there is no safe depth of water for operating computers

Herby

Fountains?

Yes, drains can become fountains. What is more terrible is when toilets become fountains. Yup, had one of those in my two story house. The lowest toilet in the house gladly "fountained" and you can assume the rest. Had to get the drain cleaner guy out and snake the drain to the street (75 feet of it!) to unclog the mess. Before I re-assembled things, I took things outside and hosed the toilet down (inside and out), then hosed down the half bath where the subject toilet was supposed to be.

It wasn't a pleasant experience.

Or as the saying goes: When you are up to your @$$ in alligators, you forget that the original task was to drain the swamp. Priorities, Priorities!

Forget snowmageddon, it's dropageddon in Azure SQL world: Microsoft accidentally deletes customer DBs

Herby
Joke

Now where was.....

That multi-million transfer from the Nigerian prince that was supposed to come through....

Kinda a 'duh' for the icon...

NASA's Opportunity rover celebrates 15 years on Mars – by staying as dead as a doornail

Herby

Message inside??

Maybe there is some message now hidden inside the rover from far far away. Could it be:

Send more Chuck Berry

Should the super-rich pay 70% tax rate above $10m? Here's Michael Dell's hot take for Davos

Herby

Other peoples money...

It is nice that legislators like to spend other peoples money on their favorite pastime: buying peoples votes. It has worked for many a year, and will probably continue. The problem with others peoples money is that you soon run out of it (I believe a great person is responsible for this quote).

You see, 70% on incomes above $10M soon becomes incomes above $5m, then because it isn't bringing in enough, it drops to $1M. By then inflation has risen and just about everyone has incomes of $1M or so, and it all goes downhill.

You see those with incomes or wealth DO something with their money. The list is long, but they don't stash it in Scrooge McDucks's money bin where it does nobody any good. Oh, and they provide jobs as well. I mean somebody has to make the installations of Dell stuff.

As for government (take your pick) moving money around, there is a gross inefficiency there, and lots of bureaucrats to feed, so not 100% of the taxes we all pay get spent on the things necessary (duh!). Keep it out of their hands and we will all be a bit better off.

Apple: Trust us, we've patented parts of Swift, and thus chunks of other programming languages, for your own good

Herby

"Prior Art"...

The problem with the current system is that s far as the USPTO is concerned (I don't know about others), prior art is what THEY have seen before (i.e. issued patents).

Until they get over this issue, it will be hard to reconcile the huge mess that is almost 10 million strong and counting.

Sad, but true...