* Posts by Mike Crawshaw

508 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Nov 2007

Page:

Cheque-red flag for Max Mosley

Mike Crawshaw
Joke

@ Ian "Er..what?"

You evidently haven't been coming here long.

There are a number of ways to treat posts from The Great AMFM:

* skip them because they make it all hurt too much.

* read them and say "WTF?"

* take a protective large swig of whiskey first

* do so in the privacy of your own home with four ladies dressed in luftwaffe jackets and beating you with canes where it's no-one else's business...

Mike Crawshaw
Stop

The part I'm concerned with...

"Already, however, we have some evidence of people being asked in job interviews about what type of pornography they look at."

** WTF????? **

Sorry, but if I was asked that question in an interview for a dev job, that's the point where I would thank them for their time and inform them that I find such questions are irrelevant, intrusive and offensive, and that I have no wish to work for a company that feels it has a right to invade the privacy of its workers to that degree.

If I want to spank the monkey to footage of Girls Aloud (with the volume off, I'm not THAT much of a deviant!) or to Lesbian vs lesbian action, then that's MY business, not that of a (potential) employer.

(Unless I get caught doing so at my desk again, of course...)

Ballmer upset by Apple cart

Mike Crawshaw
Stop

Lingering Doubts

"He told staff that the company will address "any lingering doubts our customers may have about Windows Vista”. "

There are definitely some doubters out there. Just yesterday, I heard someone say it's "not really THAT bad"...

Nice of Ballmer to confirm that yes, it is a bloated PoS. There was I, doubting his integrity...

Oh? Is that not what he meant?

HP packaging madness continues apace

Mike Crawshaw
Happy

Re "Everything on the internet is photoshopped"

http://xkcd.com/331/

That is all.

US PS3 sales surge

Mike Crawshaw
Coat

Meh.

They're games consoles, people. You **play games** on them. That's it (yes, yes, I know you can watch movies on them too, whoopeee!).

The entire Playstation vs 360 vs Wii fanboy ranting reminds me of nothing more than when my nephew and his friends used to argue over what the best Pokemon card was because "this one flies so it's BEST!!!" "but this one has flameguns in its arms so it's BEST!!!" "but this one is invisible so it's BEST!!!!".

<--The one with the "WiiStation 360" (TM) logo on the back...

Brown's aide, Mata Hari and the BlackBerry

Mike Crawshaw

re: encryption

the ST article included some more details, including that the data on the BB wasn't encrypted, but was password protected (according to the guvmint spokesperson).

No details about how many peoples' biometric / banking / criminal record details were stored though...

Yoof forum eats schoolkids, spits out ID card robodroids

Mike Crawshaw
Black Helicopters

@ Nomen Publicus

"Is there no low propaganda trick that this government will not stoop to use?"

I'm sure that there are some. Those that require *any* element of competence, for example.

El Reg net closes on Street View fleet

Mike Crawshaw
Alert

Careful...

The Daily Wail is running a front-page piece about this today... I'm sure you don't want any comparisons! Or, even worse, a mention!

"A Campaign Run By Prominent IT News Site *The Register* Refers to Google's Plans As 'Orwellian' - SomeThing Must Be Done!!!!"

Woman finds Lithuanian living in shed

Mike Crawshaw
Joke

I don't have a shed...

But he's welcome to bed down with my dog in his Wendy House / Kennel for sorting out my garden!

(PS: Televisions?? So the shed had electricity, then? Posh...)

Lab tech supplier redefines corporate song paradigm

Mike Crawshaw
Flame

@1451 AC "Bonekickers"

You mean that *factual documentary* that was on the other night about how the Knights Templar were jolly fellows who built schools and hospitals? And how Friday the 13th is actually unlucky because it was a Friday 13th that saw the KTs being attacked, rather than, as I always thought, because JC was nailed to a tree on a Friday 13th, after having tea with 12 of his mates the night before?

Hang on, d'ya mean that it ISN'T actually OK to burn to death a religious nutter and then piss off to the pub? But it SAID beforehand that it would be factually accurate!

Bugger. Guess I'd better make some new plans for the weekend, then...

Fire.... lovely fire...

iPhone 3G to lure pre-payers to contracts - survey

Mike Crawshaw
Thumb Down

Part of the 84% that doesn't want one...

I'm on PAYG, with O2. I top up (usually) £30 a month, from which I have up to £10 change at the end of the month. I regularly use 600+ mins, and in the region of 800-1k SMS (I send long text messages that count as 2+ each. I refuse to use "gr8 m8 cu l8r" etc as these are abominations in the eyes of Me.)

So, as a reasonable user that O2 make profit from, I'm probably the type they would like to switch to contract. But no.

* the Shininess Factor is not something I care about. Currently using a Nokia 6111 that's about 2 years old.

* don't care about the free internets, I stare at screens enough through the day without doing the same whilst on the move.

* it would work out costing me more. £35/month base, plus the additional for the volume of texts I send over 125 - at least £6 - so that's a tenner a month more than I spend at present.

* 18-month lock-in to a contract? I think not.

I think "84% of PAYG Users Don't Want An iPhone on O2 Contract" would have made a better headline...!

Blears pitches prize draws and online polls at young votes

Mike Crawshaw
Flame

There are no words

that would do justice to the level of sheer fuckwitteriness that infests this Government.

Stickers and prize draws are not going to restore the faith in politics after the debacle that has been the last couple years - and I'm being kind by only referring to the average memory span of a voter rather than the length of time the uk.gov has been a complete shambles of sleaze, corruption, pocket-filling and self-serving ego.

Twats.

Microsoft pledges to fight Vista 'myths'

Mike Crawshaw
Paris Hilton

Vista & iPhone...

(Oh boy I know as I write this, I'm gonna get flamed by both sides...)

I won't have Vista. I won't have an iPhone. For the same reason.

The reason being, that in each case, they offer lots and lots of additional "extras" that I don't care about, whilst failing to do well the basics that I *do* care about.

Examples:

*iPhone (1st gen) won't forward a text message, allow me to delete a single text etc, without installing 3rd party apps. I don't care about mobile "real" web browsing - I spend enough time a day looking at a screen as it is. I want to be able to use calling & texts.

*Vista file manipulation (copy, transfer etc) is dog-slow. I use this a lot. Interruptions in the form of dialogs are a PITA, as they cease progress until dealt with. I don't care about pretty interfaces as they're irrelevant to what I'm actually doing. I want an OS that just allows me to effectively use the apps I need to.

In both cases, my current gear (Nokia 6111 and XP) do what I need them to do, and well. As someone above said, "I just want to get on with using the damned computer", and all the irrelevant flashy bits in the world are no good to me if doing what I *need* to do is more difficult than it is at present.

If there is a relevant functional improvement in an upgrade that makes my life easier, I'll upgrade. If it does the basics worse than my current version (or I need to spend time and trouble to get it to do the basics) but looks great doing it, I'll pass.

Paris is ineffective, but looks great...

Trousers Brown: Blighty faces 'food security' threat

Mike Crawshaw
Happy

@ Fred

"I often look at what people buy when I go to the supermarket."

I do this too. It depresses me just how many have the Daily Wail in their basket...

All the comments about "real food" - yep. We (ok, the gf does everything apart from the digging and heavy lifting...) grow a lot of veg, and we (ok, yes, she does it...) cook "proper" food, which doesn't involve processed tasteless yuk full of more yuk, where the label reads like a laboratory inventory. Healthier, tastes better. Which means I never leave any, so nothing gets wasted. Being green is nice for bonus points, but the taste / health side is the prime motivator. (NOTE: stuff that's labelled "ORGANIC!!111!!!" is often no better than the stuff that isn't, aside from for the shop profits)

So Gordon would be proud of me. Which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Vodafone prevails in £2bn UK tax spat

Mike Crawshaw
Thumb Down

Good for Voda, bad for me

cos HMRC will have to make up the shortfall from somewhere. Imminent extra 5p/pack of smokes, 1p/litre petrol, 2p/pint of beer increases on the horizon? I don't doubt it for a moment. *sigh*

3 calls foul on T-Mobile price promise

Mike Crawshaw
Go

More Mins on PAYG

I use an O2 PAYG plan. I top-up £30 per month. That gives me 300 mins free, plus (£30/5ppm) 600 mins = 900 mins for my money (plus unlimited free SMS, which is nice). Plus they give me 20% extra for everything I top up, which is nice, an extra £6 a month.

So I get 900 mins for £30, where they give 700 mins. So T-Mobile's marketing are lying/wrong. Surprise.

(But I guess there's some small print which says "PAYG not included in comparison"...)

I don't like 3 one bit (sick of them ringing about my "Orange phone (WTF?)where the contract is up, would I like to save money???" but good luck to 'em here.

UK.gov serves up GM food as price hike fix

Mike Crawshaw
Coat

I want to know where he shops...

If he can feed the average family* on just over a grand a year. Bet it ain't supporting the local butcher and greengrocer.

*(even if, according to the Daily Mail, the "average family" is a 14yo illegal immigrant single mother with 25 feral knife-wielding kids who each smoke 500 fags a day paid for by OUR TAXES, rioting in the streets and rivers of blood, What Would Churchill Say? "Oh yes.")

The one with Netto Baked Beans in the pockets, ta...

The Moderatrix will see you now

Mike Crawshaw
Boffin

Arse Antlers / Metal

Why is it that people ask about the predominance of arse antler tattoos increasing with the heaviness of music when in fact the reverse is true?

Empirical evidence from a few recent experiences:

Rammstein gig: none

Soil gig: none

Godhead gig: none

Soulfly gig: none

Sepultura gig: none

Iron Maiden gig: quite a few (*look, I went for Trivium supporting, OK??*)

Red Hot Chilli Peppers gig: enough to make my eyes bleed...

Mike Crawshaw

If Truth is Beauty And Beauty is Truth...

Does that mean that Jordan is a gargantuanly huge fib?

Dell offers 'Windows Vista Bonus' to frightened customers

Mike Crawshaw
Thumb Up

@ AC, Business Only?

Most dealerships like this will sell "business" laptops etc to private buyers, you just need to pay VAT, whereas business buyers don't.

(For some reason our central IT have blocked Dell's website as "unsuitable content" - so I can't check, but I've just checked PCW and they're selling an Acer laptop for £450 with XP, available to private buyers, but in their business section. Whether you want to deal with them is up to you!!)

UK abandons train and tube scanners

Mike Crawshaw
Coat

@ Sarah, Re: Neil

"I don't know that Gordy authorised the breaking of the arms and legs of Tory supporters, did he?"

*YET*, Sarah... 6 weeks (AKA 42 days) is about the length of time for a broken bone to heal, isn't it?

the one with the reinforced arms, ta!

Think tank slams paedophile paranoia culture

Mike Crawshaw
Stop

The Only Thing to Fear Is Fear. And Peedo Charges. And Aliens. And...

@ Mike Taylor: "I have never met anyone who wouldn't help a lost child "for fear of being branded a paedo", but I've met a lot of people who think this is a common fear."

I've been in this position last year. I looked out of my living room window, and saw a young child (nappy-age) wandering up the street unaccompanied. I ran out the house, and, halfway to the child realised what a compromising position I was putting myself in - I would be in the street with a young child that wasn't mine, away from his parents, without their knowledge or consent. Kidnapping / Peeedoo charges, anyone? As it happened, I "shepherded" him back down the street from the direction whence he came, without touching him in any way (keeping an obvious 3-foot+ distance at all times) hoping like hell that I'd meet his parents. As it happened, I did. (Or at least, I *HOPE* that it was his mother...)

It is a real fear.

I also to help instruct martial arts, I made a very, very firm rule long ago that I will not teach anyone under the age of 18. No f*cking way. It's a real shame, because I started training at 11, and I think martial arts are great for kids, but there ain't no way I'm gonna show a 12yo how to grapple!!!

(PS "oop north" argument? Pah. I'm from Canada, you Tykes are all southerners to me!!)

Bus-spotting paedo terror bust: Shock CCTV image

Mike Crawshaw
Black Helicopters

I want

Your Job. Being paid to play with PlayMobil??? I KNEW I shoulda stayed in school...

<---they're hidden behind the buildings, but they're there, waiting to swoop...

Police detain Tariq Aziz's cigar case

Mike Crawshaw
Stop

Sentience?

"If this was the cigar case of Tariq Aziz, think of the scenes it had witnessed."

It's a fucking cigar case. It witnessed nothing, by virtue of being an inanimate object, unless it's a new breed of sentient cigar cases, which have senses and comprehension, and can helpfully open and pop a cigar out when they know you're reaching for the brandy. In which case I want one.

BT and Siemens slammed over prisoner call rates

Mike Crawshaw
Paris Hilton

Once Upon a Time...

I'd have been less than sympathetic. Comments along the lines of "Oh Boo -hoo, poor likkle mites, oh no - it's a FRIKKIN' PRISON!!! Don't be a frikkin' criminal, and you won't be there, and you can phone who the frick you like!" would have appeared. I'd have made comparisons with the one in Arizona run by Joe Arpaio, etc etc.

Unfortunately, with the way things are going, where people are criminalised for the most ridiculous of things, my perspective is changing. I might need cheap calls from prison sometime soon - after all, I have a camera in my mobile, and have been known to take pictures of Churches (I like the architecture), which obviously makes me a "terrywrist" and liable to be banged up for 6 weeks without even being told why...

<---I'd bang Paris up....

The war on photographers - you're all al Qaeda suspects now

Mike Crawshaw
Flame

@ JonB

"Terrorists... Anyone else starting to wonder if they're on the right side?"

Seeing as the Home Office currently have my passport*, I can't _possibly_ comment....

*yes, _again_ ... you'd think it'd be easier for a Commonwealth citizen than a Czechoslovakian to make a bloody living here (y'know, the entire British Empire thing)... just waiting to get a new application form for RoA where it asks if I own a camera (alongside such gems as "Are you a terrywrist? Y/N")

Enraged devil dog lover locks on to Reg photo team

Mike Crawshaw
Joke

Leave off the alsations Chris!!

Or I'll be making multiple visits to the Twat-O-Tron myself!

(PS mine (alsation, not ToT) prefers "green" snack-a-jacks to Cheese & Onion... they're healthier, he's very good with that...)

Flirty texting could land Scots in jail for 10 years

Mike Crawshaw
Thumb Down

Proving Consent?

Cue the entrance of a bunch of bitter ex's saying "He harassed me! Look! I never asked for him to send me this filthy knock-knock joke and it's humiliated me!"

Stupidity...

<--mine's the one with consent forms from everyone I text, just in case this spreads to England with a retrospective clause.

London hospital loses 20,000 unencrypted patient files

Mike Crawshaw
Pirate

@ Rich, Paper Records, Steven R

"So when they had paper records they were in an underground vault with armed guards?"

No, but I'd reckon it was probably a little harder to lift patient records on 20,000 people when they were on paper than just snoiking a laptop!

@Steven "Wanting to work for the NHS" Raith:

Dude, don't do it. Seriously. My gf works at the NHS (clinical staff), and the horror stories I could tell.... but I'm pretty sure if I named the PCT or gave any examples of their sheer craptitude, El Moderatrix would stamp all over me*! "Dribbling Fucktards" is an apt description for their more competent staff!

(*Hmmm. So, there was this one time....)

(Pirates cos anyone with any data seems to be)

Mike Crawshaw
Joke

Going by Recent Legislation....

Our best bet to get them to stop is to get the *(look away now if easily offended)* Daily Mail *(sorry...)* to mount a campaign about it... TIHNK OF TEH CHILDERN!!!

Hell, it worked for the 42 days, extreme porn...

(Joke only because that's what IT security is to these people)

Gov claims 'password protection' OK for sensitive docs

Mike Crawshaw
Paris Hilton

A PASSWORD?? Oh NOES!

My carere as a hax0r is over!!!

Unless I is very smartz and trys:

Her child's name? Noes...

Her hubby name? Noes...

Her dog's name?

SUXXESS!!! I IS HAX0R SUPREME!!!

*sigh*

and it probably is... the entire concept of a complex password to try and at least put SOME sort of speed-bump in the way would be far too difficult. Paris would encrypt....

Lesbians like straight men, researchers find

Mike Crawshaw
Unhappy

misleading title

Here was me expecting scientific proof that the men now had a chance with lesbians. Dammit...

Wikipedia kills Greatest Show On Earth

Mike Crawshaw
Thumb Down

@ Roger Heathcote

"If Wikipedia's not that good or factually accurate it's primarily because you (and your loathsome kind) prefer to spend your time being snarky and aloof about it as opposed to getting your hands dirty, making a real effort and improving it. Think about that. It's YOUR fault, you lazy snide c****."

Well, actually, it's more to do with (and this is quite some time ago, I admit), when I found some inaccuracies (regards martial arts), and tried to go in to correct these, after researching, locating citable resources etc, it turns out my IP address was already blocked for "vandalism". Quite impressive, seeing as at the time I lived on my own, and had never even attempted to edit Wikipedia previously.

But I guess that makes me a "lazy snide c****" for not spending the next forever jumping through hoops trying to get unblocked by the powers-that-be at Wikipedia when I had done nothing to BE blocked in the first place? Yep, I guess so.

Pass the strange animal / fruit names and Dr Who Trivia, it's all I use Wikipedia for. And then only under sufference.

Police probe pirate-DVD detecting dog's demise

Mike Crawshaw
Joke

@ Barn "Scare Tactic"

"Or is it all just an MPAss.A scare tactic?"

If it is, it's worked. My dawggie is terrified of the MPAss.A!!

World+dog ignores Sweden's Draconian wiretap bill

Mike Crawshaw
Joke

The **REALLY** important question is...

Has the dog been chipped?

Blu-ray movie sales gathering momentum

Mike Crawshaw
Pirate

Sorry Sony...

Like a lot of other people here, I simply won't pay the price. I like films, I buy a lot on DVD. I'm too impatient for downloads.

But, I might watch a film I own once a year, or even less, unless I really like it. So I buy them all on DVD at 5 for £30 from Zavvi (or similar). £6 on DVD against £20+ for the same film on Blu-Ray? Nah.

I don't care how wonderfully zoomy pin-sharp the picture is, the cost of a single film on Blu-Ray is more than twice what I pay to go to the cinema as often as I want for a month... and those maths just don't work.

RSPCA calls for dog chipping

Mike Crawshaw
Stop

Re Spleen

Cheers for the Times reference, I just bought a copy, cos I hate their website too! The article is mainly about how difficult it is to adopt from the RSPCA, despite how much they publicise it, and how well-off they are financially. Any animal not adopted within a certain amount of time (I believe it's 3 months, but I'm not sure) is killed. Any animal they have no room for is killed. Compare this to the Dogs' Trust ("We never put down a healthy dog!").

The article states (in relation to power of entry):

"The 2006 Act gave uniformed RSPCA officers the right to enter non-domestic properties without a warrant (they can enter your home only with a warrant but they like people to believe otherwise)..."

Quite true, they can enter commercial properties without a warrant under the Animal Welfare Act 2006. They stretch this to try to include peoples' homes where a person acts as a breeder for cats/dogs from their house. This has led to a number of quite amusing incidents such as:

RSPCA Inspector: "That cat's pregnant and neglected!"

Breeder: "No, really it's not."

RI: "Yes it is!!!"

Br: "it's a boy..."

The Act states that an RSPCA Inspector only has power of entry to domestic residences if accompanied by:

* A police officer

* a local authority representative

* an Animal Health Inspector (ie employed by DEFRA)

This includes any secured part of a property, such as a locked-off back garden. If you have your dog in your open front garden though, it's techically fair game. Despite what the article says, they cannot get warrants themselves for domestic properties, and refer to the police.

If the resident gives consent, they may enter. With their little shiny uniforms though, they have been known to knock on peoples' doors and demand entry, acting as though they have that power, and people, not knowing any better, let them in - resulting in a lot of trouble and often heartache when family pets are taken away for no real reason other than to justify the inspector's power trip.

(PS I don't disagree with chipping. My GSD is chipped. I disagree with a charity acting like "The Animal Police")

Mike Crawshaw
Flame

The RSPCA...

Can kiss my furry butt.

<'webster phreaky being told Steve Jobs has just been made President Of The World' mode>

I have NEVER come across an organisation that is so full of power-mad little Hitlers (damn Godwin) so hyped up on excercising their little "police-style" uniforms (complete with rank badges - WTF??). Y'know how Traffic Wardens couldn't get into the police, and "City Centre Wardens" etc are those who couldn't qualify as Traffic Wardens? Well, going by the ones I've had contact with, RSPCA Inspectors are those who failed to be Village Idiots.

The organisation is a charity, End Of. They have no legal powers aside from bringing private prosecutions. Their little uniforms mean nothing, they have no right of entry, they cannot arrest - aside from a citizens' arrest like the rest of us. That doesn't stop them pushing children out of the way to snatch kittens from their arms (on YouTube, guys), it doesn't stop them intimidating the elderly, it doesn't stop them using a police caution "you do not have to say anything..." blah blah blah. It's all an act to get their own way and justify their own existence. Google for RSPCA "abuse of power" or a similar phrase, and see what turns up. There are even organisations like "Victims of the RSPCA" (IIRC set up by someone whose tortoise was drowned by the RSPCA when they took it away on a pretext, insisted it was a terrapin, and promptly drowned it).

If the RSPCA want me, as a dog owner, to register with them "because they say so", they can bollocks. They couldn't be bothered to respond when they made libellous accusations against me until I got a lawyer involved. They tried to force entry illegally into my property (under law they must be accompanied by a police officer or local authority rep - they weren't, and they left my property unsecured after trying and failing to get in).

Once upon a time, the RSPCA were an admirable organisation. These days, it pays its chief exec £110K (this is a CHARITY, mind you!), shuts down its animal rescue centres to build offices (one reduced from 40-dog capacity to 6 recently), and kills healthy animals.

If this was coming from the Dogs' Trust (formerly National Canine Defence League), I would sign up in a heartbeat. Because it's coming from the Royally Superior Pet's Constabulary Assholes, they can bollox.

(for the record, I have a GSD, and have been a dog owner for many years. The RSPCA accused me of leaving him without shelter (when he has a full-size Wendy House as a kennel), without water (which he had), at risk from "hazards" (never defined), and in an "unsuitable environment" (also never defined), and there weren't any of either. Except possibly the ground, cos he's a bit clumsy...! They refused to answer my phone or letter communications, until I instructed a lawyer to contact them regards libel charges. I'm still waiting for an apology.)

(with apologies to anyone who might work for the RSPCA out of genuine desire to do the best for animals. I'm sure you try, guys, but I've never met any of you!)

US imposes 72 hour pre-reg for Visa waiver travellers

Mike Crawshaw
Thumb Down

What's the bet...?

That if UK/EU turned the tables and said any US visitors had to pass us all their details a few days in advance - to stop the terrorists of course - that it would somehow be "anti-competitive"?

Assholes. GF has been banging on about going to LA next year, but it sure ain't happening with all the BS rings you gotta jump thru.

Microsoft seeds HP PCs with Live Search

Mike Crawshaw
Thumb Up

Even my Mom*...

Knows not to keep the default settings that come with a pc. Admittedly, she had to call me to talk her thru some of the more "advanced" options (for her, OK?), but, as an IT-illiterate, she had the sense to do what she could until I could get over and clean out the rest of the bloatware that came with her new set up.

The general public are (slowly) getting to be more aware of the fact that just because a PC comes with lots of stuff that's crap, you don't have to keep it. They might not know how to get rid themselves, but they often know to call someone who can.

So MS can pay HP £ludicrous to set this as their home page blah blah blah. Everyone's just gonna set their home page to Google / El Reg / SpankMyAss.com, and dump the toolbar anyway.

(*Please. No "yo'mama" jokes.... they're just so 80's....)

World's first Blu-ray record pressing

Mike Crawshaw
Coat

@ Monkey - "when friends come round to your house for a meal"...?

Does "a meal" include takeaway pizza, muffins, cheesy wotsits, and cocktail sausages dipped in mayo*, if you know what I mean...? Or are you just waaaay more civilised than me?

(* try it. Seriously.)

Mine's the one with the lethal in one pocket, and the king-size rizlas in the other...

Want to buy Jacqui Smith's ID?

Mike Crawshaw
Happy

@ Continuing the Logic...

"If I use false documents to get a Jacqui Smith ID card does this trigger a paradox that forces the real Jacqui Smith to pop out of existance?"

If only it were that easy, I would happily devote as much time as it took to doing just that.....!!

Smiley because of that thought. *Not* because of the blatant stupidity and arrogance shown by our NuLabour Overlords.

US protests to WTO over EU 'IT' tariffs

Mike Crawshaw
Stop

Honorable MPs???? @ FryMaster

"I suspect most MPs get into politics out of a genuine desire to change their country for what they think is better"

A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAA!!!! That's Funny!!!

Most of them are there for the perks and their own personal glorification, and, of course, to avoid having to get a real job where they might have to do some real work. FFS, when they bother turning up to vote (check the voting records on TheyWorkForYou to see how many your MP attends - find me one with 90%+ attendance - most workplaces demand 95%+ - and I'll be suitably impressed. My MP managed 82%, which is above average) they're not even making the decision themselves - The Party makes it for them! Not exactly taxing, is it?

Would you like a huge salary (currently c£62K I believe?), as many days off as you can fit in (2008 proposed Commons close is from 25/07 - 09/10, that's nearly 11 weeks, ladies & gents...just for summer holidays!), duties that can only be described as "light", a ridiculously-generous expenses system that allows you to pay for a 2nd home and everything in it that you fancy (plasma tv? top of the range computer equipment? replace the double-glazing with a nicer color?) and whatever else you like rather than buying it from your own money - up to an additional £23kpa, corporate "sponsorship", the ability to "employ" your family members at inflated salaries, and, above all, decide your own pay rises? When you get your hand caught in the cookie jar with the expenses, and you face having to justify them in future, demand a stupidly higher salary to compensate?

The become an MP!!!!

Note that I exclude (most) Independent MPs from this. They (the ones I've seen anything of) DO tend to try to make a difference. The problem is, of course, they don't have the collective power of The Party to do so.

MPs in this country are (generally) the biggest set of self-serving, self-righteous, egomaniacal busy-bodies I have ever seen. At least in America (at Congressman/Senator level), they pretend to care what the public think of them.

UK gov waves white flag on secret lobbying ruling

Mike Crawshaw
Joke

Liberty or Death? (20:50 28/05)

I prefer "Cake or Death?" as a choice...

UK to outlaw cartoons of child sexual abuse

Mike Crawshaw
Flame

@ Sarah... "Govt looking like fools"

"They're just setting themselves up to make fools of themselves, the govt."

I think that we've established over the recent years that the govt don't really get that they look like fools to us, and wouldn't really care if they did.

<sarcasm>After all, we're not qualified to judge, are we? </sarcasm>

<-The House of Commons if Guy Fawkes had got away with it (and he would've too, if it hadn't been for them pesky MPs and that Scotsman!!!!)

Mike Crawshaw

@ Laurent

Good additions. I went for the religion angle because I'm sick of career politicos shouting about their religious beliefs, and using convenient parts of that belief to beat me over the head with their chosen rules and regulations, whilst ignoring the hypocrisy involved.

PS King Solomon, one of the more venerated OT figures ("The Wisdom of Solomon" even having entered common speech for recommending cutting a child in half...), had a wife (Namaah) who gave birth at 15yo. I rest my case.

Mike Crawshaw
Stop

Bible? Torah? Koran? etc

I'm sure that there are instances of under 18s being sexually active in these (seeing as they share a core content, should be easy enough to track down).

So we can ban them, and all religion based on them, because the followers are clearly all Paedos if they read that sort of filth and claim to live their lives by it. Evidence? Roman Catholic Church, instances of child abuse. Think Of The Children!!!!

(Hey, theo-politicians, you started it...)

The Transparent Society revisited

Mike Crawshaw
Black Helicopters

Police Everywhere???

"God is everywhere and soon your local police will be too."

Yeah, OK. Trying to find a policeman round here (they're all guarding the Carling Academy from being stolen....) is an excercise in futility matched only by phoning them and asking for help:

-If you have information about teh terrirests, press 1.

-If you have information about illegal mp3 distribution, press 2.

-If you have seen someone exceed the speed limit and have their licence plate number along with a photograph, press 3.

-If you are a MP and require a bodyguard detail to accompany you for a kebab, press 4.

-If you know a good donut shop, press 5.

-If you know how to work this new technical thingie we've just been issued, press 6.

-If you have seen someone smoking in, or near, a location where this is prohibited, or you believe smoking should be prohibited, press 7.

-If you believe someone has imbibed more than the government's new recommended weekly intake of alcohol, press 8.

-If you have seen someone appear to think for themselves, rather than staying at home and watching reality TV, press 9.

-For all other enquiries, including murder, rape, assault, burglary, arson, criminal damage etc, please hold until a badly-trained member of our civilian support staff gets back from their coffee break and disconnects you.

Black helicopters, cos I fall under at least a few of those, and THEY ARE WATCHING!!

Home Office hands over £50m for police mobile devices

Mike Crawshaw
Joke

@ Pete - "Just More Toys"

Be fair. In Sheffield, they spend a lot of time out of the "office", tending to hang around the new Carling Academy to make sure nobody steals the building... and they're doing a great job. It's still there.

City anti-Scientology protestor avoids court summons

Mike Crawshaw
Coat

Precendent Set! =:-)

Awesome.

Mine's the one with

Scientology!=RELIGION

Scientology==CULT

on the back in BIG letters.

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