Posts by Eponymous Cowherd

Quite nice.

I like the most read and most commented feature.

Hate the fixed width (only fills half my 1920 wide screen) and the new comment icons are just nasty.

Re:Sometimes they get it right

***"Without going into details, there is quite a lot of effort going into making the system secure."***

I am currently putting *enormous* effort into decorating my house.

The trouble is, I'm so shite at DIY it will probably be a complete disaster.

@Russ Tarbox

***"the results after fitting a stupidly loud "bean can" exhaust"***

Probably good at attracting chavettes, but everyone else will just laugh at you.

Bleeding obvious

***"Vodafone said its survey of 9,000 mobile phone users showed significant resistance to the notion of paying to receiving calls."***

They needed a *survey* to work that out?

Yeuch! Ugh!

The last time I saw anything like that bottom picture it was under granddad's hospital bed.

And the end of the tube didn't go to his mouth.

But the liquid *was* a similar colour.

@D@v3

Its Wight Cable

http://www2.wightcable.com/residential/wimax.aspx

That's "wight" as in "Isle of Wight".

Pathetic

The Highway Code lists that sign as "Frail Pedestrians likely to cross", not "Beware, militant old gits"

Its not about speed, it about alerting drivers to possible hazards (you'd never believe the damage a Zimmer frame can do)

I'm waiting for militant foxes and badgers to complain that the "Wild Animals" warning sign discriminates against them because it depicts a deer.

@Steve Liddle

***"But then the PC was built for vista - 64 bit dual core, 4 GB ram, DX10 graphics card, 1 TB HDD etc..."***

All that just to run a bloody desktop operating system. Sheesh!

@vincent

Whenever I have reported a case of bullying against my kids, I have always got the impression that the main reason the teachers won't do anything about it is down to their own fear of the alleged bully and/or their parents.

What's easier, fobbing of the mild mannered parents of the alleged victim or dealing with the, let us say, less than reasonable, parents of the alleged bully?

moody oil?

***"moody sunflower oil from the Ukraine"***

Is the Ukraine the only source of 'moody' oil? And can you get angry, sad, happy and depressed sunflower oil as well?

Customer retention....

***"The customer retention ploy has been heavily promoted recently in BT's TV campaign "***

Yeees, I've notice BT stepping up their broadband ad campaign. I assume its to compensate for all those (like me) who have pissed off to other ISPs who *don't* spy on them and throttle their bandwidth.

Re: Fat Lego Astronauts

I'm sure someone could come up with a *much* more realistic Playmobil simulatiion.

The term 'scapegoat'

springs to mind.

Niche Wii?

@AC

***"Now Im happy to admit the Wii is a niche console..."***

Actually its probably the other way round. The other consoles are fighting over a 'niche' market (so called "serious" gamers), the Wii is aimed at a much wider audience, which explains *why* it outsells the other two put together. It isn't fighting for the same punters.

Though, when you play MP3, you wonder why all FPS games aren't made this way.

Phorm

Just thought I'd mention it........

Re:@Only the guilty - @ac

***"Only people with something to hide (i.e. as yet unidentified law-breakers) have something to fear from such a process.

So, put simply, stop breaking the law."***

What an inordinate *prick* you are!

And how can you be *so* sure *you* haven't broken any law? Ever? Where do you draw the line between law-abiding and non law abiding. Accidentally broke a speed limit by 5 mph 10 years ago? Are you still law abiding? Murdered someone 10 years ago? Still Law abiding? How many crimes, and to what degree, do you need to commit to step over that line?

I sincerely hope that you review your past activities and compare them to the current UK statutes and common Law (this may take the rest of your life, of course). If you think you may have transgressed any I assume you will take yourself down to the local cop-shop to confess all.

Re:Are these people stupid or something ?

Why do the "Nothing to hide, nothing to fear" brigade always post as AC? Obviously they *do* have something to hide *or* something to fear.

Wake up and smell the coffee! The DNA database is *not* infallible. There can, and have been, false positives. Even though the data on the database should be of good quality, the DNA recovered from the crime scene may not be, and may match with several people on the *current* database, let alone a full national one.

There is also the possibility of your DNA being at a crime scene by accident, particularly if it was a public place, or even being planted deliberately. This becomes an even bigger problem if the real perpetrator of the crime takes (really quite simple) steps to ensure his DNA is not left behind (which he will be more likely to do if he knows he is on the DNA database). You will have the situation where there may be several DNA profiles at a crime scene, none of them belonging to the real criminal. All of those people will have to be "eliminated from enquiries". If the mindset of the investigating officers, CPS and Jury are of the typical "DNA is infallible" mindset, then one of those people could well end up being convicted of a crime merely because his DNA was present, he didn't have an alibi and the real criminal took steps *not* to leave his DNA behind.

Nothing to hide...

Nothing to fear?

Nothing to see here, move right along folks, nothing to see.

So we know that the DVLA will sell our addresses to scumbag quasi-legal wheel clampers, the Police will sell your DNA profile to 3rd parties, the Gov't regularly loses our data and the security services are less than careful with memory sticks and laptops.

And we are expected to trust them with our biometric data for the National ID register too?

No, nothing to fear at all.

For what it isn't worth

I really couldn't be assed. No, seriously, £100K for a sub-orbital joyride? Not even if I earned £50,000,000 a year.

Really go into space, orbit the Earth, yeah, I'd go for that, but a glorified fairground ride for £100k, they can keep.

I've got one of those

***"Redmond claimed to have sold 180 million Vista licenses to PC vendors and individuals so far."***

I have a Windows Vista Business licence for my shiny new Dell D830 laptop. There is a nice Vista licence sticker on the underside and a Windows Vista sticker on the keyboard (right next to the Core 2 Duo sticker) and, no doubt, MS claim this as one of those 180 million licences sold.

The computer is actually running XP Pro as a 'downgrade', however.....

So the best way to deal with online fraud is.....

to do a deal with a know spyware pusher and sell him all of your customer's data.

Problem is, unlike 10 years ago, 90% of the online population of the UK are now clueless numpties who will suck hard and swallow when BT tells them Phorm is good for them.

Re:F**k me, a computer-literate Para!

Did my CS degree with an ex Para, bloke was frighteningly clever and worked harder than anyone. He also had a face that said "mess with me and die". He got a 1st, one of only 5 or 6 that graduated that year ('98).

Re:Bring on the law

***"Mind you, as FACT is convinced that all piracy is funding terrorism they might just decide to lock up anyone that uses the internet for 42 days and be done with it..."***

Yes, they do rather bang on about this, don't they.

Rather perverse, then, that it is perfectly *legal* to *buy* a dodgy DVD from one of these terrorist / drug pushing "organised criminals" (FACT's own website even states this:

http://www.fact-uk.org.uk/site/about/faq.htm#20) but *illegal* to copy your own DVDs for your own use.

Dear Mr Killer

Thank you for your kind and polite letter.

My extensive network of contacts in MI5, the CIA and Mossad have discovered your location and identity.

Unfortunately, all of my professional operatives are busy on other assignments at the moment, but my desire to expedite this transaction has forced me to use a resource that I normally reserve for making (rather messy) examples of people who offend me.

The good news (for you) is that he won't kill you (some kind of religious conviction), and I believe you can lead a fairly reasonable life without a penis.

If you wish I can ask him to remove your hands as well. That way you won't miss the loss of your genitals quite so much.

Hoping you are well (at the moment)

EC

Printer cartridges

HP's inkjet cartridges suffer some serious packaging overload. A matchbox sized cartridge in a foil pack, in a plastic tray, in a box along with an instruction booklet in about 50 languages (of which the English instructions take up single page) and advertising crap, in a cardboard box inside a cellophane wrapper.

@Steve Evans

A policeman friend of mine was asked to look into the complaints raised by parents about the driving around a local school at kicking-out time. He and a couple of colleagues turned up and dished out tickets to anyone causing an obstruction and/or driving in an inconsiderate or (in one case) dangerous way.

All but *one* of the original complainers got tickets, including the one for dangerous driving.

So be careful what you wish for.

Sticks, carrots, and the 'green' excuse.

***"This is expected to start in 2010 at £185 per liable parking space and then rise over time to £350. The council believes that by penalising individuals who park in the city, they will encourage greater uptake of public transport."****

Funny how every 'green' initiative thought up by local and national government is invariably a stick that will cost the motorist money. Never is there a carrot to counterbalance it.

I note that the BBC article states that the money raised "would be invested back into funding more and better public transport in Nottingham". Notice it doesn't say "cheaper public transport".

The cynical amongst us might start to believe that these 'green' initiatives are merely an excuse to raise cash.

Still waiting for....

Bishop bashing bastards.

Pudding pulling plonkers.

Paris, 'cos its better to call a professional than do it yourself....

Re:I don't get everyone's problem with targeted ads.

Its not the ads that are the problem, its the way you are 'profiled' in order to determine which ads to show you.

It amounts to spying.

eBay spy on you when you are on eBay. This is not so very different to the way Tesco spy on you when you use a 'club card'. Fairly seedy, but legal and above board.

Phorm spy on you wherever you go on the 'web'. Any web site, any time. Its like Tesco seeing what you are buying, not only in Tesco, but in Sainsbury, Somerfield, Co-Op, Morrisons, PC World, Boots and (if you are Garry Owen) as you are buying your Big-Boy vacuum pump from your local sex shop. Extremely seedy, probably illegal, and anything *but* above board.

Paris, 'cos she doesn't mind showing off her private bits, either.

@Alex

***"Or are you one of the "Black is white and white is black" brigade who can not under any circumstances admit that .. gosh darn it.. you might be wrong??"***

Gosh, why is winding up fanbois so much *fun*. I know I shouldn't do it, but I just can't help myself. Very sorry, and all that.

Off to get some professional help, now.

ModeShift controls?

You mean they turn lights on and off under the keypad.

I never cease to be amazed at the crap gimmicks that get passed off as innovation.

And it never ceases to amaze me that people fall for it.

Stop Press!!

Microsoft continues to run around like a headless chicken in order to find something, *anything*, to make its failing *games console* more attractive.

Wet behind the ears?

***"But there will be few mourners: everyone who actually remembers using this operating system is long gone. "***

Only if we implement Carousel.

If you understand that, then you should remember remember the Apple 1, let alone any version of Windows.

@Mark

I see the PS3 fanboi-in-chief is in.

Paris, because she's gullible too.

Target the Yoofs

I see.

One of the biggest obstacles the Gov't has with ID cards is the resistance from older people who remember a time when Big Brother was just a character in a story.

Solution?

Create a web site aimed specifically at yoofs in order to indoctrinate them without interference from busy-body old fossils.

Nice black helicopter, for obvious reasons.

Moyles' listeners.....

7.7 million listeners....

Kind of explains the shitty state of the UK if some 13% of the population deliberately inflict Moyles on themselves.......

This vulture shot himself in the head after being forced to listen to the "self styled saviour of Radio One".

Re:Re:Pro?

***"Please, every VGA card group (for the last oh-so-many-years) had their "pro" members, why no for a console?"***

I suppose "XBox 360 Pro" is more marketable than "XBox 360 fanboi edition". ;-)

I knew it!

***"To add a final twist - and a much-needed IT angle"****

I heard this story on the Today programme. As soon as they mentioned the tenuous IT angle I thought "that'll be in The Register, then".

And where is the Playmobile reconstruction. Couldn't find any bunnies in the Playmobile toybox, or something?

"So What" politics

***"If Davis wins un-opposed, they can turn around and say "So what was the point of that?""***

But the official record will say "So weak was the point of that"

@ Mycho

Well, it would be a straw man argument if it wasn't for the fact that I didn't realise he was quoting (bad eyesight). It's why I emphasise quotes to avoid confusion.

***"Quoted stuff"***

Apologies to Michael for not getting his point.

Paris, 'cos I'm feeling a bit blond at the moment......