* Posts by Eponymous Cowherd

1596 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Nov 2007

Slow broadband blackspots mostly in south, not north

Eponymous Cowherd
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Contention ratios play a big part

as the sub-title suggests, you could well get 20MBps on your local loop, but if you are sharing your concentrator in the exchange with 49 other people, and a large number of those are on-line and making use of bandwith-heavy applications (streaming media, bittorrent, etc), then you can *easily* find yourself down to speeds in the 1-2 MBps range at peak times.

Contention ratios are the "elephant in the room" as far as service provider's speed claims are concerned.

New Apple move against Galaxy Tab on Euro front

Eponymous Cowherd

Innocent untill proven guilty....

beyond reasonable doubt is a concept of criminal courts. In civil cases the boot is squarely on the other foot. Rather than having to "prove" that the defendant is guilty "beyond reasonable doubt" the defendant has to demonstrate their innocence on the balance of probability.

DARPA shells out $21m for IBM cat brain chip

Eponymous Cowherd
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Kitten bombs, anyone?

Highly effective against Ghasts, apparently.

Amazon Kindle Cloud Reader

Eponymous Cowherd
Devil

The more you tighten your grip, Jobs.....

, the more apps will slip through your fingers.

LOHAN seeks mighty thruster for trip to heaven and back

Eponymous Cowherd
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Simples....

Well, relatively.

Getting the "plane" to do the loop bit is a simple case of aerodynamics and weight distribution. Getting the rocket to fire at the right attitude can be accomplished with a a bunch (3) of mercury switches.

PETA to launch .xxx smut site 'to help animals'

Eponymous Cowherd
Coat

Blue PETA?

Yeah, just getting it............

Google's Moto move spells iPhone doom

Eponymous Cowherd
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Well said

Apple, and it is, largely Apple, have created a situation that will result in more expensive and less well featured products.

More expensive because someone has to pay for all of the litigation and re-engineering to work around patent restrictions.

Less well featured because some restrictions cannot be worked around.

And nobody should be so naive to believe that Apple won't find themselves hoist by their own petard. There are almost bound to be features in Apple products that are covered by competitor's patents.

The consumer will be the ultimate loser here, the only winners being the patent lawyers.

Google kills off app maker

Eponymous Cowherd

Drag and click. Can be good, but usually isn't

Scratch (http://scratch.mit.edu/), which appears to be the basis and inspiration for App Inventor, is really rather good. But, then, its an introductory teaching language. Trying to scale up a fun and inspirational teaching tool into something for creating usable apps is, really, a non-starter. I've tried App Inventor and really cannot get on with it. Its far easier and quicker to write apps in Java using the Eclipse plugin.

Speaking of Java. Anyone remember "Visual Age" for Java? They were using it at EDS around 2000. That was a drag-n-click environment, and was downright nasty. You "wired" objects together. It produced reams of spaghetti code that you had to edit to do anything useful.

The King of drag-n-click languages has to be NI's LabView "G". Now that is good. Really good, and enormous fun to use. Of course, its "dataflow programming" paradigm is well suited to its primary task of running test benches.

BBC testing fix for iPlayer on iPad ... 6 months later

Eponymous Cowherd
Unhappy

Even less now

as they have shut the iPlayer support message boards down.

Its the arrogance of people like Danker that gets to me. There is no real doubt that the Android iPlayer is not fit for purpose. It won't work at all on mid-low range phones by dint of their ARMv6 processors (e.g Orange San Francisco, HTC Wildfire S) and of those it does run on, at least half are reporting serious problems on the Android market comments (sound synch issues, transport controls not hiding, frequent freezes / crashes, won't play radio in background, won't play over 3G, etc).

Yet they absolutely refuse to acknowledge the problems and respond to complaints with head-in-sand "let them eat cake" platitudes.

Eponymous Cowherd
Mushroom

Nor on my Sensation

A couple of years ago I got myself a Shiny new HTC Magic. I discovered a neat app called BeebPlayer that allowed me to watch iPlayer on it. Great.

Then the BBC sent in the Lawyers and killed it.

Still, there was MyPlayer. Not as good as BeebPlayer, IMHO, but it got the job done. The BBC killed that, too.

The BBC then announced it was going to introduce its own iPlayer client. Then we found out that it would need. Android 2.2. My Magic was running 1.6, so no mobile iPlayer for this licence payer.

Then Vodafone upgraded my phone to 2.2. Finally I get iPlayer back? Errm, nope. the "official" iPlayer runs under Flash and Flash needs and ARMv7 processor and the Magic has an ARMv6 processor, so still no iPlayer.

I recently upgraded to a shiny new HTC Sensation. 1.2GHz dual core ARMv7 processor. Finally I get iPlayer back.

Errm, nope.

While I can, now, install it and run it, the sound is always so far out of sync with the picture that its unwatchable.

So, over two years after some bloke working on his own produced an iPlayer client that would work on *any* Android phone, play over 3G, play radio in the background and generally just *work*, the might of the BBC can do no better than this pile of bloated Flash shite that can't even play a radio stream unless the f***ing screen is on.

Note to Apple: Be more like Microsoft

Eponymous Cowherd
Devil

Apple.... A bit medieval.

Apple's business model with regard to iThings is rather like the medieval system of tithing.

Except that medieval farmers and craftsmen only had to tithe a tenth, whereas Apple vassals have to tithe three times that to their Lord and Master.

'Up to' broadband claims out of control, says Ofcom

Eponymous Cowherd
Unhappy

And that's just the sync speed.

Once you take into account contention ratios and the number of people using streaming apps (iPlayer, etc) in the early evening, you can, quite often, see speeds in the kilobit range.

Moonpig gobbled by PhotoBox

Eponymous Cowherd
Mushroom

Seems to have died already.....

The recent Moonpig ad seem very subdued and almost upmarket, particularly when compared to the "Funky Pigeon" ads.

Far from encouraging me to buy a greetings card, the ads make me want to go out and blast as many of the flying rats out of the sky as possible.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy: Blu-ray extended edition

Eponymous Cowherd
Coat

Well,

that's my Birthday Present sorted.

Corporates love iPhone, iPad more than Android kit

Eponymous Cowherd
Holmes

Alternate headline

Corporate drones in "lack of imagination" shocker.

My Translator Pro UK

Eponymous Cowherd
Stop

Shame my Android can't do this....

Oh, wait.........

Feds arrest 16 in Anonymous hack probe

Eponymous Cowherd
Joke

16" hack probe?

Ouch!

Russia’s space telescope in orbit

Eponymous Cowherd
Coat

Wonder if.....

it has an octopus logo on it?

NASA eyes Atlas V for 'naut-lifting duties

Eponymous Cowherd
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John Glenn....

appeared to be remarkably unsquished when he became the first American in orbit after a ride on the top of an Atlas.

As did the rest of the astronauts who rode on Mercury-Atlas and Gemini-Titan (also an ICBM) stacks.

Google: The one trick pony learns a second trick

Eponymous Cowherd

Well....

Apple has some claim to the tablet (with the Newton), but it was more of a PDA than a tablet.

Ten... wireless speakers

Eponymous Cowherd
Facepalm

Of jacks and docks

I can use the audio in jack if I want to. I can use it with just about any audio source I can find.

I can use any of the buttons on the dash if I want to.

I can't use the iThing dock because my phone isn't an iPhone and my music player isn't an iPod.

To continue your car analogy. You can buy cars with built in bike racks. You can sling pretty much any bike onto them. It doesn't matter if I don't use the rack, my bike will fit it if I want it to.

If the rack was custom designed to fit the bikes from a certain manufacturer, and my bike is from a different manufacturer, then its not a matter of "don't use", its a matter of "can't use" unless I buy a new bike from that certain manufacturer.

What I would have to do is fit an after-market bike rack and ignore the factory fitted one, which would be an arsingly stupid situation.

Eponymous Cowherd
Unhappy

Don't know if its just me.....

But I just *hate* superfluous features.

I don't have an iPod or iPhone and, while many of these speakers will work with the non Apple kit I *do* have, it just grates my sensibilities that there is this prominent "dock" that I'm never going to use.

Even when they can be hidden away, you still know its there, but can't be used so, for me, the dock-free Altec Lansing has to be the clear winner.

HTC 'dismayed' by Apple's bizarre patent allegations

Eponymous Cowherd

Yes, but not defended.

Even if there is no prior art before this patent was awarded, there have been plenty of examples of it being "infringed" between that time and now.

The fact that this patent has never been defended against these historical "infringers" should render it invalid. If you don't reasonably defend your patent, you lose it.

Apple flings patent lawsuit at HTC (again)

Eponymous Cowherd
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Corporate pissing contest

That's all this is.

And the real loser is the consumer.

Eponymous Cowherd
Facepalm

One could ask....

why the iPhone looks "superficially" like an O2 XDA (from 2002, 5 years before the iPhone).

The answer is bleeding obvious. Its the same reason why a Samsung TV looks "superficially" like an LG TV and why a Ford Transit van looks "superficially" like a Renault Traffic. Can you work it out?

Obviously you can't, or you wouldn't have made such a ridiculous comment, and your use of the boffin icon is laughable (well, I suppose there isn't a "numpty" icon, which would be more appropriate).

Burg 5 watch phone

Eponymous Cowherd
Unhappy

Used to have a 1980's talking car....

It was an '86 Renault 11 TXE "Electronic".

Let me down badly one day. No, it didn't break down. I was pulled over by plod....

Plod: "Are you aware you have a defective brake light"

Me: "No officer"

Car "Bong! Left brake light failed"

Doh!

ALK CoPilot Live Premium HD

Eponymous Cowherd

Location

The HTC Sensation has a built-in off-line maps app called "Locations". It can do navigation but you have to pay to activate it.

UK and Ireland costs £3.49 for 90 days, £14.99 for a year and £22.98 unlimited (though its not obvious if that includes updates.

Atlantis crew prepare for the 'Final Countdown'

Eponymous Cowherd
Coat

Final Countdown?

Da da daaah daa, da da da daa daaah.

Aussie retailer accuses UK shops of HDMI 'scam'

Eponymous Cowherd
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You what?

"Full HD" refers to a TV capable of displaying 1080p, as opposed to "HD ready" which usually* means 720p capable. It has nothing to do with the tuner, in fact *most* Full HD TVs only have SD DVB-T tuners.

* In the early days of LCD TVs, they were often advertised as "HD Ready", but were only capable of displaying 576p, they could accept 720p data, but downscaled it to SD. That was a scam, IMHO.

Eponymous Cowherd
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Alternatively......

Buy cheap cable.

Buy cheap clip-on ferrite cores.

Job done.

Eponymous Cowherd
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Actually....

While the situation certainly is more complex than "it works or it doesn't", in practice, the margin of the degradation of a digital stream that produces results between "perfect" (no error correction needed) and "unacceptable" (error correction can no longer compensate) is exceedingly narrow.

If your cheap cable can transfer the data such that no error correction is required, then you will gain no benefit whatsoever by buying an expensive cable.

While a high quality cable may provide error free transmission over, say, 10m, while a cheap one cannot, if you only need a 2m cable then both will provide error free transmission and the £70 cable offers no benefit over the cheapie.

Freedoms Bill: Gov may U-turn on personal data and DNA retention

Eponymous Cowherd
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Comment of the week candidate

***"I am sick and tired of hearing people whose knowledge of science is approaching zero (from the wrong way)"***

Top comment!

Hope you don't mind if I use that one myself.

Femtocells at tipping point: Don't want to become also-RANs

Eponymous Cowherd
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Lead Balloon

Regarding the Vodafone SureSignal Femtocell:

You pay Vodafone £50 for a box that, not only allows Vodafone to extend their network using your bought-and-paid-for broadband bandwidth for free, but they get to charge you by the minute for it too.

When Vodafone give the box away for free and charge considerably less for calls through it, I may be interested, but stinging me for using my own bandwidth is ridiculous.

Peugeot 508 Active e-HDI micro-hybrid

Eponymous Cowherd
Happy

If its a question of economy.....

and "saving the Earth" isn't a major priority, then you are better off buying an 8-10 year old car for a couple of grand, and running it into the ground.

You can get a really nice, comfortable, well appointed car for that price, and you can buy one hell of a lot of petrol / diesel for £17,000.

Running a big old car has other advantages. You don't feel the need to burst into tears when it gets dinged in a car park, you don't feel the need to get out of the way of overly aggressive Audi drivers, its no big deal when the kids spill coke all over the seats and, when it finally dies, its no great loss, you just buy another one.

Buying new cars, its a mugs game.

Has Steve Jobs killed the consumer hard disk industry?

Eponymous Cowherd
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Was that Irony, trollling, or what?

While spinny disks may face competition from SSDs, that is merely a change in the underlying technology used for bulk storage. Indeed, the advent of large, cheap and, most significantly, *fast* SSDs will be more likely to save the "desktop" PC then herald its demise.

The problems with the "cloud" are manifold. Speed is a big issue. Even if you have a 20MB broadband service (that actually delivers that speed), then placing and retrieving files from the cloud is several orders of magnitude slower than doing the same from a local HD (particularly if its an SSD). Then there's the availability of a connection. It may work fine on your home broadband, but what about on the train? No such problem accessing files on your laptop HD . Cost is also a consideration. How much is cloud storage going to cost in mobile broadband and PAYG wi-fi fees, not to mention the cost of storage itself.

Oh, and lets not forget that the iCloud is going to be for iThings, only (well, apart from Windows PCs). Work colleague has an Android tablet? Blackberry? Want him to access your proposal on the iCloud? Forget it.

Nintendo takes control with next-gen games console

Eponymous Cowherd

Interesting...

I can see how this controller may be great for certain game genres. It would lend itself to driving and flying games very well. The trouble is its going to be pretty unwieldy for a lot of the kind of games where the controller is used as a tool/weapon/pointer (MP3, for example). I wonder if the Wii U will come equipped with a "traditional" Wii controller as well as the screen?

Also wonder t the cost of buying extra screen controllers. I imagine they are going to be significantly more expensive than standard controllers.

Will be interesting to see exactly what these PS3 busting graphics consist of and some more detailed tech specs.

NHS Direct

Eponymous Cowherd
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What a strange thing to say.....

***"As a medical man myself"***

What a strange thing to say. Why not just say "As a doctor, nurse, dentist, pedicurist"?

***""I see. Did the programmers do ten years of medical school?""***

No, I don't expect they have. Just like I'm not a rocket scientist, yet I write satellite tracking programs. I'm not a phlebotomist, yet I write software for managing blood transfusions. I'm not a cartographer, yet I write mapping applications.

And, I dare say, the people who wrote the software that runs all of the various electronic devices that patients rely on to keep them alive in intensive care didn't spend "10 years in medical school" either.

How do we it? Well, surprisingly, we work with people who *are* experts in their fields.

Apple iOS 5 and iCloud examined

Eponymous Cowherd
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Legalise yer torrents?

***"The question is, do torrenters feel sufficiently guilty to cough up Apple's de facto torrent legalisation subscription? Many won't but a lot will."***

Of course, the side-effect is that the likes of the RIAA won't know if a download is legal, or not, when they send in the attack lawyers.

So, kind of catch 22, really. There's no point in subscribing to Apple's "torrent legalisation subscription" because the very fact that there is a "torrent legalisation subscription" means that you don't need to subscribe to it to keep you safe from the RIAA because the RIAA won't know which downloaders are legal, and which aren't.

Sandi Toksvig puts the 'n' into cuts - on the Beeb

Eponymous Cowherd
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Uxbridge dictionary....

Rancour : What Scooby really thinks of Shaggy

Chauffeur : What Paris Hilton does when getting out of a car.

Laminate : What a ram does to a ewe.

Sexual : Proposition from Louisiana prostitute.

Eponymous Cowherd
Thumb Up

And we needn't mention.....

some of the lovely Samantha's antics with her various gentlemen friends on ISIHAC.

Movie-goer punts 3D-to-2D cinema specs

Eponymous Cowherd
WTF?

So.....

You pay extra to get into a 3D screen, suffer the fuzzier and darker picture with poorer contrast, and have to wear uncomfortable specs (over your own glasses, in my case), all so you can sit with someone while *they* "enjoy" the 3D experience while you *don't*?!?

That someone had better be worth it, that's all I can say......

4G interference will knock out Freeview

Eponymous Cowherd
Devil

DVB efficiency

***"DTT (Digital Terrestrial Transmission) is much more efficient, so can broadcast more channels in less space."***

More like "DTT permits channels to be compressed to a barely acceptable quality, so can broadcast more channels in less space."

As far as reception is concerned, it looks like I'm going to be completely fucked. Currently live right below the hill on which a major TV transmitter is perched. Can't get a thing from it, so I have to point my aerial at the next nearest, which is some 40 miles distant.

A fuck-off big roof mounted aerial, mast-head amp and distribution amp give barely acceptable Freeview reception which drops out in poor weather and breaks up when any nearby mobile phone polls its base station.

I *had* hoped, that come the analogue switch-off, the associated DVB power boost would improve things, but, given that its going to be almost certain that a 4G mast will spring up line-of-sight between me and the transmitter it looks like its likely I'm going to have to bin my Freeview kit and buy Freesat.

Tesco pricing cock-up provokes beer stampede

Eponymous Cowherd

Errrm.....

Iran?

Well, not so much in disgust as in fear of their lives....

Eponymous Cowherd
Coat

Could be worse......

Buy Mars bars and get free deep fat fryer......

Spear phishers target gov, military officials' Gmail accounts

Eponymous Cowherd
Facepalm

Of Hacks and Hackers

I see BBC News reported on this this morning. Apparently Google are under a sustained "cyber attack" by "hackers".

Daleks given a well-earned break

Eponymous Cowherd
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Good.

Because the new Playmobil Daleks are crap.

Bloke drives with knees while manipulating two mobes

Eponymous Cowherd
Facepalm

Errm, no

You can't *obtain* a tax disc without insurance for a vehicle, but that doesn't mean that the vehicle doesn't have a valid tax disc that was obtained before the insurance ran out.

The same applies to the MOT. You need a valid MOT cert to tax a vehicle over 3 years old, but it doesn't matter if that MOT expires next month.

So it is quite possible to have an uninsured vehicle with a valid tax disc

Eponymous Cowherd
Unhappy

What a dickhead....

Surely, if you are driving an illegal vehicle you will be wanting to attract as little attention as possible, but no, this fucktard, and most others of his uninsured ilk, seem to do as much as they can to get the rozzers to notice them.

Banning him is pointless. He's already happy to drive like a prat, without insurance and, possibly without tax or MOT. He'll quite likely be prepared to get behind the wheel without a licence as well.

About the only way you can prevent arses like this getting behind the wheel is to physically prevent them. Currently this is limited to jail time, but I favour a more "surgical" approach.

HTC to stop locking smartphone bootloader code

Eponymous Cowherd
Thumb Up

Big Thumbs Up

All that needs to be said, really.

How to... change sleep-screen pics on your Kindle

Eponymous Cowherd
Thumb Up

Mines

From the home screen of a Kindle 3:

Hold down shift and Alt. Press m