* Posts by Martin Lyne

577 publicly visible posts • joined 12 Nov 2007

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Leicester City councillors eye up iPad to save £90k a year

Martin Lyne
Paris Hilton

Title

If they get rid of all their printers I will be monumentally surprised.

To support all those thoys they will have to bring in their own "genius".

I. Fucking. DESPAIR.

Council: DURP!

iOS jailbreak howdunnit partially solved

Martin Lyne

Hah

Think it'll increase Jobs' love for Adobe? Pffht!

Microsoft names September for IE9 beta

Martin Lyne
FAIL

Finances.. IE..?

Software, sold for free that drives people (supposedly) to MS online services (mostly free).

Yeah, you'll have them spilling their wallets open I'm sure.

Isn't it cost-ineffective by now? Just make a ballot screen, get fucking rid of IE and let the universe continue without making as all support another motherfucking version of your bug ridden, tortuously ugly horseshit.

If your "services" are so good, people will use them through <insert good browser name here>.

Good DAY sir!

Apple, Google, NASA, and the Rainbow connection

Martin Lyne

Choices

If I had to choose between intellects discussing making "the world a better place" and just leaving it up to individuals to get it done.. well, haven't both been occurring for centuries anyway?

These people may be uniquely placed to actually make actions a result of their machinations, but one hopes that at least some of them share Trevor's caution.

Phonemakers cry foul on Steve Jobs 'We're all alike' attack

Martin Lyne

What a tool

"Just buy someone else's phone - not that big of a deal"

Fanbois end Judas Phone 'Death Grip' with, um, SIM tape

Martin Lyne

Having to paint something for it to work as advertised

is retardtastical.

Apple phones suck, Windows phones suck, Nokias suck. Android is all that's left if you want a semi-smart phone.

Consumer Reports: 'We were wrong about the iPhone 4'

Martin Lyne

The disservice is already done

You read favourable review -> you purchase.

You read review alteration -> you are stuck on at least a year contract.

Due Diligence fail.

Ballmer: Windows Mobile lost a 'whole generation'

Martin Lyne
Flame

They didn't miss us.

We just saw the shit they were offering and when elsewhere. My WinMo6.5 phone today sent out a whole MONTHS worth of texts it had been hoarding. Yielding lots of confused friends and relatives.

Take WinMo7 and cram it up your grey, office-issue ringer, pal.

Microsoft patches Freetard-by-design bug

Martin Lyne

Meh?

Not often you see a news article broadcast the fact it's old.. and the fact it's already proven that nobody cares.

Fact of the matter is, you install Win 7 -> share -> unshare -> try to hibernate pc -> it fails -> you blame it on Microsoft software

How does this have anything to do with copyright? If I wan't to share some files to another computer I own, you just try and stop me. Just. Try.

eBay shill bidder gets £5,000 fine

Martin Lyne

WHAT?

They spend SIX MILLION on trying to detect shill bidding?

Can that really be profitable seeing as artificially inflated prices benefit eBay?

More iPhone 4 angst: fanbois howl over head sensor

Martin Lyne
Pint

This post

is Pure Win.

100% TRUE FACT

Naked Cowboy wrestles Naked Cowgirl

Martin Lyne

Zzznrarg

Edit error 37: Your search request for "naked" + "cowboy" returned no results. Please consult internal memo 9 of 21/7/2006 for guidelines on selecting IT-related material.

Microsoft offers iPhone devs Windows Phone 7 cash

Martin Lyne

Win6.5

If Winmo 6.5 is anything to go by then.. well lets just say i reviewed all 6 of the games, and most were unfortunately horrid. (Meon being the exception)

Lumped with a HD2 that has a godawful OS and no apps now. Fingers crossed for Android ROM.

O2 to step back from unlimited mobile data deals

Martin Lyne
Flame

Yeah right

I just got cutoff from my unlimited web bolt on, that after buying my new package. was told was not included free (as their contract update app stated) so I pay an extra £7.50 for net that wont get reactivated until the end of this month. While I wait for O2 broadband to be installed. Oh I love how they turn evil after they lock me in.

Customer for ~7-8 years

Also, I couldn't find their "fair usage" policy on the website. Won't be able to either as I have no net anywhere but work. Good times..

Battleship of an Android phone sets Sprint sales record

Martin Lyne

Ugggh

I got a HD2, which runs godawful WinMo6.5. The hardware (basically same as the Evo) is the best I've ever seen. It is just *gagging* for Androidification, so now I'm going to be gagging for an Evo. Nevermind the 4G, wi-fi and HSDPA will do nicely.

We want's it hobbitz! (Although, I think i prefer the HD2 hard-buttons)

Google mocks Jobs with Flash on Android

Martin Lyne

Flash - ahhh-ah - HE SAVED EVERY ONE OF US

HTML5 *is* the future.. but Flash *is* the current - and ignoring the current is a great way of screwing your future.

Android/Chrome will support HTML5 AND Flash.

Looking forward to a 2.2 Phone on which to play Newgrounds games (this news is actually bigger than it appears - If it only supported FlashLite 3/4 like WinMo, meh, but Full FP10 is great news)

Facebook convenes privacy 'crisis' meeting

Martin Lyne

Ugh

Why don't they all get to gether and document their SDKs a bit more first? Just tried writing an app with new API and all I can find is FUD. The new privacy approach is "nothing will work anymore".

Debenhams wows shoppers with free delivery offer

Martin Lyne
FAIL

Epic

Epic lack of understanding in comments.

It's not really free delivery if you have to go and pick it up, is it?

What can Google's tablet deliver?

Martin Lyne
Pirate

Har Har

"Copycat"? "Clone"?

PDAs and Slate PCs - yeah, they didn't exist until Apple made them.

Comedy gold.

Microsoft calls for IE9 Canvas tag

Martin Lyne

Microsoft

Guess what? Microsoft will fail to implement a HTML standard and fuck developers over. Again.

Gotta leave people hungry for IE10, right guys?

Or maybe they'll see that their fucking incessant retardation is the reason their market share is dropping faster than a techie's patience threshold after exposure to IE6.

In short: Do. Not. Want. Stick to holding down new technologies and punishing your locked-in customer base, what you're best at.

Spaceship 'salad units' to farm special astro strawberries

Martin Lyne

title

with nothing between you and the sun, the plants would get pretty well broiled. Of course, when they are manoeuvring/behind a celestial body there will be no light, so they'd freeze/die.

Much better to have a stable climate . Not to mention that you can more economically stack plants when lights are involved. (otherwise you;re looking at one rack deep, all facing one way, compared to in a tube as you will be, having them in concentric circles with lights below the rack above. Or something)

Microsoft: 'Prepare for 15 billion more clients'

Martin Lyne
Flame

Because..

>"Embedded systems?" you might say. "I manage servers, PCs, and laptops - I care not a whit for an OS that runs ATMs, fuel pumps, kiosks, in-car entertainment systems, and the like."

Because these systems are maintained (ATMs, Kiosks) by imaginary people thus far? The fewer life-critical things that run windows the better, thanks. My HTC HD2 is perfect hardware, marred by Windows 6.5. If you want your in car entertainment to change volume at a whim, stop bleeping to warn about lo fuel randomly etc. etc. then, by all means, hit up the windows.

Just waiting for that 'Droid ROM.

US Army portaloo-full-of-missiles project for the chop

Martin Lyne

Laser guided munitions

Each designator has it's own security code/frequency, the missile would be attuned to Soldier X's designator, then only look for that laser dot.

You could jam them by using a smoke grenade with added reflective particles (chaff-like) perhaps.

I can see the idea behind the project, mobile artillery requires trained crew and more logistics, being able to drop a box into a nearby field from a non-militarised helicopter or cargo plane means less valuable assets being risked.

Consider an Apache, lots of cost for the vehicle itself, plus years of training for crew, has to be in the near vicinity of the fighting therefore at risk from shoulder-launched AA just to fire one or two missiles. (Added benefit of having cannon shells to use though)

Compared to having a civilian cargo chopper drop off a box 20 miles away and fire it's missiles. Further from combat, less risk, vehicle costs significantly less (pretty much cancelled out by the 200k cost admittedly).

I'd like to have 50 of those portaloos on my [hypothetical] aircraft carrier for my marines. Here's hoping they appear in a strategy game soon.

Article didn't mention if they would be fireable while on a moving humvee - that'd be interesting. Cheap MLRS.

Mystic Met closed Europe with computer model

Martin Lyne

Because

Let's say the composition wasn't as bad as suspected, and only 0.5% of jet aircraft/helicopters would crash.

Is that still an acceptable amount? Compared to a few days cessation of business?

I'd rather not have jets landing on my house, thanks very much. Safety first, as they say.

Considering how vulnerable jet engines are to foreign objects, caution is the best option.

Waledac botnet 'decimated' by MS takedown

Martin Lyne
Coat

Decimated?

The word decimated means "to kill one in ten". Deca. Considered lenient by the Romans.

If you really wanted to stretch the language you could assume it meant meant 9 out of ten (leaving one tenth) but that would be a bastardisation.

Annihilated? Destroyed? Obliterated? Vapourised? Removed? Disabled? All words that could be made to work.

Microsoft pushes temporary security fix to IE laggards

Martin Lyne

Thanks

Now people will still feel safe using outdated technology an will continue to use it so they have to continue supporting it.

If you still use IE6 - for whatever reason - you deserve it. "Our intranet is built on it" just means you need to update that too.

Microsoft's dual-screen booklet shows 'face' on web

Martin Lyne

If it worked like that..

.. I would be very pleased. Very nicely presented video, but will all this nice-to-have functionality have been included at the expense of more useful tools and functionality?

The device itself doesn't seem to be that interesting, just a dual-monitor laptop with no keyboard essentially. The software is what made the video. Interesting.

Boffins spy liquid water on Saturn's moon

Martin Lyne

Hmm

The Tea pre-filtering I'd understand.. but anything alive or toxic would surely be killed or superseded by the aforementioned noodlage, no?

Discounts damage for Microsoft Windows 7 PC boost?

Martin Lyne
FAIL

Heh

I don't think you really understand. But it's ok, you go back to drawing pretty pictures on your Mac. I'll be playing games and, hopefully, enjoying some nice cheap hardware soon. The same hardware you use. Mintel-boy. If you foresee large companies with macs as each workstation and better yet.. servers. Then you are deeply, dangerously, deluded.

Saying "growth~" seems a bit retarded given we just went through a recession. Of course it's a lot of growth - people haven't bought any computers for the past 1.5 years. The growth spurt starts and ends here.

New Labour bring old Nuremberg Laws to Britain

Martin Lyne

Tool?

"Important tool" is it?

How many times has it been deployed successfully against a terrorist? How many times has it been used to waste bystanders' time?

I'd be interested in facts, for a change.

Philip K. Dick's kid howls over Googlephone handle

Martin Lyne

How dare they

How dare they pay homage to something they like without asking!

AKA "Let's get uppity and try to take money for something wholly pointless", they shoudl consider it free advertising.

Also, what do they do when the 6th series is released?

Hubble probes deepest universe

Martin Lyne

Don't be so glum

Don't be so glum.. there's always hope.

Apart from, of course, the galaxies we are seeing probably no longer exist. We are looking quite far into the past..

McNealy's inflatable 'blimp' pleasure-dome angers neighbours

Martin Lyne

So..

You put up a dome to keep you protected from the environment.. then fill it with - ice? He's insulating it then wasting energy to make it cold. Uh huh.

Tennis, fine.

Dodgy wheel thwarts Mars rover rescue

Martin Lyne

Icons

They should be on the left under the name in a column. Mate.

Play.com leaves Modern Warfare 2 buyers empty handed

Martin Lyne

@ 14:04

Some people can't really wander down to a shop so having it conveniently plop into your mailbox on the day.. very nice.

I had a similar experience with Steam and Dragon Age recently, some shops were selling it cheaper 2 days before it unlocked on Steam (where I pre-ordered with full price). Such is life though.

As an aside: Steam claims it can't sell games for cheaper than X because the publishers say so - does that mean they have to ask permission before running a sale? Is it legal to demand a shop to sell your product at a certain price? Stifling competition much?

Kiwis slap 'vacant' sign on Paris Hilton

Martin Lyne
Troll

From some of the responses..

From some of the responses it seems like people don't fully comprehend the meanings of "vacant".

She has more money than us.. oh gee. Well, I guess if my dad had more money than cells in his body then some of that MIGHT trickle down to me!

Also: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/10/27/hilton_financial_woes/

If I got paid twice a year's wages to go to a nightclub for an hour I'd find it exceptionally easy to be rich.

If you can type in this comment box you've already achieved a rank higher than "socialite".

Vacant:

1 : not occupied by an incumbent, possessor, or officer <a vacant office> <vacant thrones>

2 : being without content or occupant <a vacant seat on a bus> <a vacant room>

3 : free from activity or work : disengaged <vacant hours>

4 : devoid of thought, reflection, or expression <a vacant smile>

5 : not lived in <vacant houses>

Advert is taken to mean 4 (in relation to Hilton) but they can swing it they meant 3 (clearly 1-2 is what the advert is selling) (unless she's under employ as a socialite to an equally vacuous company.. but then they can plead factual mistake. No harm done.)

Large Hadron Collider scuttled by birdy baguette-bomber

Martin Lyne
Flame

You'd have thought..

You'd have thought that leaving a Star Wars-esque vulnerability would be high on the "list of things not to do when designing a multi-billion euro device".

Not to mention, one that can irradiate a massive chunk of granite.

Large and complicated fine, contractor messes up join and liquid helium spills everywhere, bad. A piece of generic debris falling from the sky.. What happens if it rains? Hails? Badgers take up residence?

Looking forward to seeing some results though, go LHC, go!

Chinese store exposes iPhone 4's midriff

Martin Lyne

OMG

It will have a CAMERA and support DOCKING you say?!

Haven't all iPhones done this? Someone get me a Pulse.

Microsoft drops Family Guy like a hot deaf guy joke

Martin Lyne

It actually

Made Seth look like a sell out for a few days - although had you ever watched any of the shows, you'd have known this kind of pull out was coming. Family Guy rips the shit out of Fox, literally the hand that feeds it. You think a cheesy sponsorship would work just fine?

Burger King cooks up Windows 7 Whopper

Martin Lyne

Would you like..

Would you like Health Insurance with that, sir?

Robot nuclear windjammer to sail patio-gas oceans of Titan

Martin Lyne

Hmm

Nuclear generator.. floating on a sea of flammables. Won't someone think of the penguins?!?

I like interplanetary space sailtboat missions!

Microsoft ropes in Family Guy to pimp Windows 7

Martin Lyne
Stop

Firstly

This sounds most heinous.

Secondly

"together with FOX, we're simplifying entertainment". Make of that quote what you will (obviously, sitting on your arse watching something and laughing was too complicated for some)

Ralph Lauren says sorry for incredible shrinking pelvis

Martin Lyne

Why?

Why even use models any more? Might as well CG it if you;re planning on photoshopping them to shit and back.

But then, why bother advertising at all? Jeans are just jeans, labels are there for stupid rich people to waste their money on. They seek out the most expensive they can afford to fit in to an imaginary social group

Windows Mobile 6.5 ships today

Martin Lyne

Haha!

"WM 6.5 uses Internet Explorer Mobile for browsing the web. The app is based on version six of desktop IE".

Classic!

Oh wait.. you're serious?

Swedish parents win right to name sprog 'Q'

Martin Lyne

re: seanj - Fucking trekkies

Yes, that is how we make babies called Q :)

Ammo rationing at Wal-Mart as panic buying sweeps US

Martin Lyne
Alert

WWZ

"The ammo rush has been dubbed the "Obama effect" by gun-industry people, but in fact there is no sign at present of any particularly aggressive move towards stricter federal gun laws"

So.. it's only the knee-jerk, media-obeying idiot drones that are buying it then. Just the kind of people you want to be well armed.

Unless they just started selling World War Z in the US. 45 ACP would go well with squidgy zomzoms.

Microsoft stalks, poaches Apple retail staff

Martin Lyne

So much..

So much money floating around.. and all controlled by utter morons.

Vodafone goes music mad

Martin Lyne

So..

So it'll take them another 5 years to come up with "iCompilations" which include several DIFFERENT artists of teh same GENRE in one PACKAGE!

The idea of making it cost slightly less than the mp3s individually will only occur sometime after the service degrades in popularity.

North Wales Police institute new happiness law

Martin Lyne

Please don't read this comment

You can't take a photo of this comment, becuase it is a plainly visible secret. Oh wait.. damn.

Good Day Sunshine as Beatles hits iTunes? Er, nope

Martin Lyne

So,,

Apple will be hawking more over-hyped under-performing shite.

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