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* Posts by Dr Who

347 posts • joined 25 Oct 2007

Page:

TSB outage, day 5: What do you mean you can't log in? Our systems are up and running. Up and running, we say!

Dr Who

Yes, but did he make the error pacifically to piss people like you and me off?

7
0

IETF: GDPR compliance means caring about what's in your logfiles

Dr Who

Given the level of understanding and quality of questioning we saw from US law makers when failing spectacularly to bring Facebook to heel, I'm not too worried about this.

"So, why do you keep logs on your computing device?. Do you burn them to provide sustainable energy to run it? Or is it more to hold the device down in case it gets windy?"

"No sir, it's so we can track visitors."

"Ah I see, so each visitor leaves a stick or a log as a kind of thank you gift. Very good. By the way, my grandson has a computing device. Do you think he would be pleased if I left a log on it?"

"Yes sir, I'm sure he would."

"Thank you. You are free to leave".

12
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Guess who's still most moaned about UK ISP... Rhymes with BorkBork

Dr Who

Re: Zen

HashMeToo as they say these days. It's not just about speed, it's worth paying a bit extra to Zen for the service you get when it goes wrong (even when the bit that's gone wrong is a copper connection a few hundred metres up the road).

2
1

GCHQ boss calls out Russia for 'industrial scale disinformation'

Dr Who

"satellite office in Bude, Cornwall"

Hmmm. Maybe time for a career change. "The Russians are cracking our nuclear launch systems!" "Who gives a shit dude ... surf's up. Oh, and pass me a roach."

8
1

British government to ink deal for yet another immigration database

Dr Who

Too many chiefs?

500 x Immigration Technology Portfolio project delivery managers on £1000 day rate

5 x junior developers on £150 day rate

20
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1.5 BEEELLION sensitive files found exposed online dwarf Panama Papers leak

Dr Who

Re: Just goes to prove

To be fined you have fist to be prosecuted, as is the case now. The fact that the level of fines will be bigger does not mean that the level of prosecutions will be higher.

The new rights revealing the data held, the authorisation thereof and the right to be forgotten do not imply that the thousands of businesses who currently don't know what data they hold on you will suddenly know. Maybe some large enterprises have got a grip on this but the majority of SMEs have not.

I'd maintain my position that the new rights and fines will not substantially improve the situation in the real world. We may see some spectacular headline events with the likes of Facebook et al, but lower down the food chain not a lot will change.

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3
Dr Who

Just goes to prove

DPA, PCI DSS, GDPR blah blah blah. These all amount to nothing when the expertise is not there to implement them (and there is a good argument that PCI DSS amounts to nothing even when it is implemented properly). GDPR in spite of the heavy fines will not magically make businesses who've never even taken data protection measures under existing legislation become compliant.

The accountancy micro-business I use is very good at accountancy but I have no faith whatsoever that the copies of my passport and other identity paperwork I am obliged by law to supply them with are secure. Multiply that up by the thousands of accountancy firms, solicitors etc... who have had copies of your identity paperwork and rather than hindering the fraudsters it becomes an invaluable stash of material to promote the fraudsters' success, as admirably demonstrated by this article.

GDPR has primarily been a gravy train for FUDster consultants and will not go very far at all towards improving the protection and usage of our personal data.

12
12

Facebook supremo Mark Zuckerberg has flunky tell UK MPs: Nope, he's sending someone else

Dr Who

Rule Britannia!

Thank god we're leaving the EU. Once we return to being a small isolated island on the edge of a huge economic zone, instead of being a leading member of that huge economic zone, it'll be back to the glory days of the Empire.

No longer will Putin be able to poison people on our soil and then give us the bird. When our defence secretary says "go away and shut up" they'll take us seriously instead of laughing their pants off - oh yes indeedy.

And as to upstart heads of global tech giants, the only question they'll be asking when we summon them to Westminster is "how fast should I run?". You just watch, once we're out it'll be like Sampson growing his hair back. People will take notice again -you just wait and see.

62
31

User asked why CTRL-ALT-DEL restarted PC instead of opening apps

Dr Who

Re: Feeling Old...

device=himem.sys

device=emm386.exe noems

dos=high,umb

devicehigh=ansi.sys

files=40

buffers=20

Happy days spent crafting config.sys

11
0

BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....

Dr Who

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose!

17
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F-35B Block 4 software upgrades will cost Britain £345m

Dr Who

Re: and Pigs might fly a.k.a F-35

What? The Jensen Interceptor can go faster than sound? That's not what my Supercars Top Trumps said.

1
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MailChimp 'working' to stop hackers flinging malware-laced spam from accounts

Dr Who

So, I integrate my in house systems with the Mailchimp API. My in house system security is a pile of shite and we get compromised, giving the attacker full control over my Mailchimp account without needing to log on to Mailchimp directly (so the 2FA thing is actually irrelevant).

4
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Defra to MPs: There's no way Brexit IT can be as crap as rural payments

Dr Who

Re: With the rise of the city farm...

So an IT system to cover it might therefore be abbreviated to CRAPIT, the first version of which might reasonably be entitled CRAPIT_A. What could possibly go wrong?

33
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Suspected drug dealer who refused to poo for 46 DAYS released... on bail

Dr Who

Guilty

The guy is obviously a pro. Getting arrested and chucked in a cell would scare the shit out of me.

19
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123 Reg suffers deja vu: Websites restored from August 2017 backups amid storage meltdown

Dr Who

Re: It is safer to presume

Agree with Jason. @adnim, at some point you have to trust others with stuff that you don't want to or can't do. Most self employed people will relatively blindly trust an accountant to compile and file all the correct returns and keep them out of trouble with HMRC. If you've ever bought a house, did you make sure you fully understood every last legal technicality of the conveyancing process, or did you trust a solicitor to ensure that the property was legally yours and unencumbered at the end of the process. There are many things that need to be entrusted to others, including rock solid backups if you're not technically minded. The art is choosing good suppliers.

9
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So the suits swanned off to GDPR events leaving you at the coalface? It's really more IT's problem

Dr Who

B2B vs B2C

Much of the advice, scare mongering and FUD about GDPR focuses on consumer data. One thing I can't find a clear answer on is the impact of GDPR on B2B businesses. Say you run outsourced IT support for other companies. On your help desk system you hold personally identifiable information on all the employees of each of your customers. Do you need to get explicit consent from each of those employees to hold their data? Do your customers' employees have the right to be forgotten with respect to your help desk system?

Has anyone seen an authoritative legal opinion on this specific issue?

4
1

RIP... almost: Brit high street gadget shack Maplin Electronics

Dr Who

Re: Well at least

One dreads to think what "sticky" in a bad way might be. Ann Summers perhaps?

6
1

Smartphones to be inescapable, even at 40,000 feet

Dr Who

900 is barely a gaggle. If you want a proper swarm you have to go the way of Elon who plans to put 12,000 satellites into low earth orbit. How can there be room? Thinks of the space debris? How can you launch rockets through that kind of gauntlet? So may questions.

6
0

Hey, you. App dev. You like secure software? Let's learn from Tinder, Facebook's blunders

Dr Who

Inevitable

Tinder plugs hole

5
0

Crunch time: Maplin in talks to sell the business

Dr Who

Re: PWC is managing the process, we are told.

What are you talking about? Maplin would never have had any assets to strip. They have basically no cash, large debts and crippling store rental commitments. There is the stock, but that's basically worthless if you try and sell it in bulk. The only reason you'd buy Maplin is for the dividends, and as dividends can only be paid out of profit, there won't have been many of those in the last twenty years.

Montagu bought Maplin for £244 million and sold for £85 million to Rutland who will be lucky to achive a token tenner for a sale. I don't think either Montagu or Rutland will be congratulating themselves on their spectacular corporate raiding skills.

22
1

Electronic Frontier Foundation chap John Perry Barlow has died

Dr Who

A rock star scientist in the fullest sense. RIP.

9
0

Wileyfox goes TITSUP*: Smartmobe maker calls in the administrators

Dr Who

Tragic. I'm still using my original Swift. It's been a brilliant phone.

Has anyone got any recommendations for similar handsets i.e. a solid Android phone with regular software updates for those who don't need a penis extension with super high definition video and a gazillion megapixel camera?

14
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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Dr Who
Pint

Re: How else?

CTRL-F "post pub" found Mycho. My thoughts exactly although amazed it wasn't the first comment on the list! RIP the legendary Lester. My first pint will be raised to him this evening.

7
0

Just can't catch a break, can ya, Capita? Shares tumble 40% amid yet another profit warning

Dr Who

Schadenfreude

I'm not going to beat around the bush here. It's about fucking time that these subbie bashing, small business destroying, undercutting, tax payer and pensioner robbing, corrupt and criminally negligent outsourcing wankers got their comeuppance. Not just Capita, all of them. They are all from the same mould and they have been getting away with it for far too long.

In our industry, the big consultancy/outsourcers are like supermarkets are to the farmers. If they can buy it cheaper abroad they will, or if not they'll squeeze the domestic suppliers until their pips squeak. Employees, the supply chain and ultimately the customer are there to be milked dry for the benefit of the share holders and senior management, who are generally long gone when the shit hits the fan.

Don't get me wrong, I am not remotely anti-business, it's just that these companies are not viable businesses, they are organised criminals.

83
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NHS outages KO Welsh GP services and Manchester A&E

Dr Who

Re: I wonder how an NHSbuntu/NHoS based system would have handled it?

That's the trouble with too much caffeine. It addles the brain with the result that extreme sarcasm goes straight over your head.

0
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All aboard the Vomit Comet: Not the last train to Essex, but a modded 727 for weightless flight

Dr Who

Re: Rubber duck

That's a big ten four.

5
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BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

Dr Who

Re: And nobody checked

Only because they couldn't be arsed.

52
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MPs sceptical of plan for IT to save the day after UK quits customs union

Dr Who

Problem solved

With neural networks doing some deep learning to which we apply some AI algorithims this is no problem.

We simply scan in the new EU/UK trade agreement and the computer can then execute a billion trade transactions with itself and by the morning it will outperform even the greatest living customs officer. Particularly when chasing a bloke from Luton who's just smuggled in a van load of cheap fags from Bulgaria. Or opening a container door to check that what's in it matches the bill of lading.

4
0

Yahooooo! says! its! email! is! scrahoooo-ed!

Dr Who

The question is, does this raise the spectre of a total meltdown?

8
0

CSS and Javascript on GOV.UK page take early Christmas holiday

Dr Who

The site lost its CSS and JS ...

to reveal an old fashioned honest-to-goodness HTML web page. So the legal aid registration is borked but it gives you a powerful sense of nostaligia. It happened to me the other day on the BBC website and the emotional effect was quite surprising, a bit like a smell or a tune that reminds you of a moment long ago. Ahh - them were the days - simpler times!

14
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Sigh. It's not quite Star Trek's Data, but it'll do: AI helps boffins clock second Solar System

Dr Who

We could still be the biggest system you bastards.

Cheers,

Pluto.

41
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Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires

Dr Who

Re: "Not an uncommon story", you mean.

Yes, but why ruin a good story with the truth?

13
0

Games-mart Steam halts Bitcoin payments

Dr Who

Re: Let's see

Exactly. Most people, including even many esteemed Reg readers, are confused about what bitcoin mining is. Bitcoins are issued to miners by the system as a reward for so called work done. The work done in this case is the processing of transactions into new blocks in the chain. When the number of bitcoins reaches the arbitrary limit of 21 million no more bit coins will be issued. At the point the only incentive to mine will be to obtain transaction processing fees from bitcoin users.

To control the rate of bitcoin production, the difficulty of the work to be done is increased or decreased by changing the min and max allowable values of the hash of the block, requiring the miner to experiment with different values of a nonce until they arrive at an acceptable hash value.

Being able to tune the difficulty of the work to be done also avoids the scenario of transaction processing consuming every processor on the internet. That can never happen.

1
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Nationwide UK web bank and app take unscheduled nap

Dr Who

Won’t let make online payments, rather annoying and [an] inconvenience as our electric is about to run out! Then we will be buggered,

That's really unfortunate. First your power is going to go off and then someone is going to have anal sex with you. Really bad luck that is.

7
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Logicalis lands mega air traffic computer deal. Yes, that Logicalis

Dr Who

What ...

could possibly go wrong? Not like it's safety critical or anything.

4
0

Black Horse Down, we repeat... yes, Lloyds Bank, again

Dr Who

In the interests of diversity

Crappy Old Chips Knackered Under Pressure

4
0

How did someone hijack your Gmail? Phishing, keylogger or password reuse, we're guessing

Dr Who

Re: VPN and Juice

A VPN won't do anything to solve this particular problem. Phishing, key logging and reuse of passwords from compromised sites will all still work.

9
0

BOFH: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

Dr Who

Very good. But did you write that on a smartphone whilst packed into a railway carriage sardine style?

7
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'The Queen' is showing Geneva how to be polite on public transport

Dr Who

Yes you have been to a few what? If it's third world markets then that's fine. If it's Asdas then get yourself to the doctor. You may well have picked up an amoeba or something.

6
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HMRC boss defends shift to AWS, says they got 50% knocked off

Dr Who

Re: Of course not

This is a crucial point. US judges can order US companies to release data even though it is held on servers entirely outside the US and have done so in the past (search for Microsoft Dublin).

- 50% savings are good

- Outsourced infrastructure good

- UK tax payer data at the mercy of the US Trumptatorship - sad. Very, very sad.

Also, is this just IaaS, or are HMRC locking themselves in to the entire proprietary Amazon application stack, in which case two suppliers just narrowed down to one. Bend over the barrel HMRC .... this is going to hurt. That 50% was just an introductory offer.

11
7

Google slides text message 2FA a little closer to the door

Dr Who

Re: Or use TOTP / HOTP

For those of you who like me think top of the pops when they see TOTP I'll save you a google.

Time based one time password

HMAC based one time password

11
0

Rackspace ends discount hosting for open source projects

Dr Who

Re: They're not thinking this through...

Or (false) economy toilet paper.

False because each iteration of the while not clean loop uses 6 sheets instead of 2.

2
0

NHS: Remember those patient records we didn't deliver? Well, we found another 162,000

Dr Who

Rise to your level

So .... the incompetent head of NHS transformation and operations is now the incompetent head of, presumably the same, at HMRC. That explains a lot, particularly about if you're having any self assessment troubles.

10
1

Swiss banking software has Swiss cheese security, says Rapid7

Dr Who

Re: Two..agencies couldn't contact a bank about security..why..still have a business licence?

Exactly. It's not a bank it's a software house.

0
0

Real Mad-quid: Murky cryptojacking menace that smacked Ronaldo site grows

Dr Who

Troy?

Something fishy going on here. First we have Troy Hunt and now Troy Mursch. Can this be coincidence? Troy is where trojans come from. I smell a horse.

Whatever the truth may be, if I ever become a security pundit I'm changing my name to Troy Who.

6
0

Frustrated Britons struggle to locate their packages: Royal Mail tracker smacked

Dr Who

The thing about programming is that, just like spelling, it's all about attention to detail.

9
0

Rosetta probe's final packets massaged into new snap of Comet 67P

Dr Who

You are very improbably right.

7
0
Dr Who

And wow! Hey! What’s this thing suddenly coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like … ow … ound … round … ground! That’s it! That’s a good name – ground!

I wonder if it will be friends with me?

41
1

Linode cloud users in Europe hit as Frankfurt DC falls to its knees

Dr Who

I'm not a Linode user but

VMs are available from $5 per month.

Get two in different locations and mirror them. Nothing fancy, rsync and DB replication will do the trick for most web application servers. It's really straight forward and a simple DNS change saves your cured pork belly.

We go one step further and place the mirrored servers not only in a different location, but with a different service provider.

The golden rule : there is no such thing as 100% data centre availability.

3
0

We went to Nadella's launch of Hit Refresh so you didn't have to

Dr Who

Re: Lords Cricket Ground?

Bit harsh old chap. Wrong side of bed this morning?

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