* Posts by Big Al

314 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Oct 2007

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Ryanair requires web check-in, shuts down website

Big Al
Paris Hilton

Oh hell, what about the precedent?

The problem here is that if RyanAir refuses to climb down on this truly horrible idea, we'll start seeing it at other airlines too - *especially* those that retain counter staff and can therefore weasel a justification for the 40 quid...

Paris because we'd all like to go there cheap, if we'd just admit it.

Ballmer clashes with Obama over US tax rules

Big Al
Paris Hilton

World Government

Of course, when we get a world government, tax dodging and/or evasion of this kind will become impossible anyway.

I wish to be the first to welcome our new global tax-imposing overlords! Oh, and I could be available for that departmental software contract....

Paris, because she knows about doing it everywhere.

NASA scrubs Endeavour launch

Big Al
Paris Hilton

Shuttle or launcher?

So... the problem is actually with that hug mobile launch pad thingy, rather than with the shuttle itself?

Paris because nothing would stop her from docking.

Buggy 'smart meters' open door to power-grid botnet

Big Al
Boffin

'THE' grid?

""New electricity meters being rolled out to millions of homes and businesses are riddled with security bugs that could bring down the power grid""

I know this is horribly technical, but countries outside the Continental USA also use electricity, and even have power grids!

Come on folks, this is an international site. At least make it clear to which country/countries you are referring when you throw out scary (sorry, attention grabbing) opening lines.

StrongWebmail holds up hands to hack, plots further challenge

Big Al
Thumb Up

Not unexpected

I think the challengers are making the best of a bad job rather than 'skirting' the issue... spin FTW!

But kudos for fessing up and remaining determined to get it right. The 10K is probably a lot less than they'd have spent on getting some 'consultants' to go through their systems, so they're likely on a winner - and if/when they do end up with a completely secure system, the firm will become ... shall we say... quite valuable?

Engineers are troublesome 'expert loners', says prof

Big Al
Paris Hilton

Production line > talkshop

"when told to work on something as a group, typical engineering students would instead break the project up into separate jobs so as to avoid working collaboratively"

So they chose a friction-free approach which requires considerable self motivation and self discipline, rather than risk the project becoming bogged down in the discussion of minor elements... and the problem with this was what, exactly?

Paris, because I doubt she understands either.

Hindus take divine mace to Sony Playstation

Big Al
Flame

Hypocrisy

I'd like to see Sony try launching a game in the United States that had players manipulating Christ... Hypocrisy.

And it's okay to target someone else's deities just because you don't happen to believe in them? Arrogance of the first order, and dangerous arrogance at that.

Egyptian cuts off todger to spite his face dad

Big Al
Alert

Ouch!

So he saw the choice as losing by marrying below status, or losing status below?

Russian blows off ex-boyf's todger with firecrackers

Big Al
Paris Hilton

Re Heads & Tails

Ah yes, John Wayne Bobbit...

What's really surprising is that he was subsequently tried for three incidents of domestic abuse against his third wife.

Now is that someone who failed to get the hint, or what?!

Paris because she'd never do something like that. Probably.

PC-pwning infection hits 30,000 legit websites

Big Al
Coat

I for one...

...welcome our new polymorphic obfusticating overlords. Got to be an improvement on Europe's current crop of politicians, whose morphing and obfustication leave much to be desired.

2060: Humvee-sized, bulletproof meat-eating spiders attack

Big Al
Boffin

Easy answer

Armour be damned - aim for the eye clusters!

Google mistakes entire web for malware

Big Al
Go

I for one...

... welcome the fact that our Googloid overlords are finally taking a zero-tolerance approach to website safety!

How Warcraft reigned supreme in 2008

Big Al
Thumb Down

And Jagex's RuneScape?

I'm impressed that you managed to avoid any mention whatsoever of the browser-based MMO game RuneScape, which has 1 million paying members out of a total regular player base of around 5 million.

Surely the fact that the makers Jagex are a British company based in Cambridge hasn't led to their being overlooked...?

Rail companies roll out barcode ticket standard

Big Al
Alert

About time

The Germans have been doing this for YEARS on the high speed ICE (and other inter-city) services, and very handy it is too.

In addition to paying by phone, you can pay online and *print* your barcode, and take it with you - reservations included.

New trojan in mass DNS hijack

Big Al
Thumb Up

Now this is what I like

Clear article, problem explained, solution offered that even my 13-yr old can apply by herself.

(I agree with John Navas, but that doesn't really affect my gut reaction to the article!)

Book about D-Notices gets D-Notice slapped on it

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Well you would say that...

... wouldn't you?

Claiming that the D-notice no longer exists would of course be necessary under the old standard that neither its subject, nor the existence of the D-notice itself, could be reported upon.

(They were used far more often than people realise, even (apparently) for the suppression of airport security breach stores in the late 80s...)

China Skype service snags and stores users' messages

Big Al
Unhappy

The Times has much more...

Oh no it doesn't!

The Times is a prestigious newspaper published in London.

The New York Times is a prestigious newspaper published in New York.

In the global village, surely one needs to be more careful about using local slang when referring to the media of record?

UN email hacker jailed

Big Al
Pirate

@AC

"He was not attacking US property."

Since when has the US judiciary worried overmuch about trampling over other peoples' jurisdictions? Extraterritoriality FTL...

Thailand clamps down on rude websites

Big Al
Stop

God-king

It's very easy to underestimate (and therefore mock) the reverence in which the Thai monarchy is held by most of the populace - I think it was only the present king's grandfather who gently broke the news to his people that he was not, as previously believed, a divinity... a message which has still not really been digested in much of the country!

Just because we Brits don't take our royals very seriously any more doesn't mean that everyone else feels the same.

Neo-Nazi forum hacked

Big Al
Black Helicopters

@ AC - Nazis Hacked!

We don't know that they aren't.... but if their usual keeping tabs on extremists includes B&H, their work has just been made that much harder.

Sats blunder firm sacked

Big Al
Alert

What the...

OMG... does this mean that someone *in government* actually wrote a sensible contract that DOES allow the instant removal of a contractor who completely fails to live up to their end of the deal...?

This could be a watershed moment...

Sovereign immunity blocks DMCA suit against Air Force

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Logic error

I have to admit that I see the USAF's point here. Given that an enlisted man wrote software for use specifically by the USAF, I would have thought it a given that the code would basically end up belonging to them... and surely refusal to obey a direct order to hand over to a superior something directly relating to the performance of his duties is something that they can't possibly be expected to stand by and allow? Could be a very nasty precedent indeed, that one.

DDoS attack floors Georgia prez website

Big Al
Pirate

Nice timing

No doubt carefully timed to show the Georgians that even (or perhaps especially) when they have 1,000 US troops in the country on exercise - Immediate Response 2008, part of NATO's Partnership for Peace programme - they're still vulnerable to Big Brother.

Third plutoid christened 'Makemake'

Big Al
Coat

Fertile ground for bad puns...

Presumably all this fecundity is what has given rise to the phrase "On the Makemake"...

Mine's the one with the paperback Dictionary of Phrase & Fable in the pocket, thanks.

Intel stinks

Big Al
Pirate

Say what?

"The malodorous ponds in question hold purified waste water..."

By definition, purified waste should not smell.

So either these are not holding the end product, but an intermediate stage... or it just needs moving around a bit to prevent it becoming stagnant.... or the rest of the article is correct, and the problem is not the product, but what happens after the local wildlife gets into it.

AVG chokes fake traffic spew

Big Al
Paris Hilton

Hah!

So they finally worked out that they'll be sued over the increased bandwidth costs they will be inflicting on people... about time too!

Paris because she would certainly have worked this out faster than AVG did... no, really!

Biggles battles Yanks for right to sport tash

Big Al
Coat

So...

So he bristled with indignation did he?

Mine's the hair shirt...

Angry? Try the Tw*t-O-Tron

Big Al
Pirate

Do they mean us? They surely do!

From the site:

"

El Reg.

Sorry for everything being mainly broke today. The Register linked to the Twat-O-Tron and the load on the server went up to over 300.

"

Chinese 419er punts a whopping $8

Big Al
Pirate

@ greybeard

Only until tomorrow.

Boffins prove the existence of jet-setters

Big Al
Boffin

Non-representative sample

Since the sample comes from only one country, it is not representative.

Example: Czechs are notoriously opposed to the idea of commuting to work, preferring to move closer to their workplace than spend 2 hours a day travelling. Compare this to the situation in the UK, where getting workers into London from the south-east every day is a massive logistical operation.

In other words, the cultural biases inherent in the sample make it impossible to apply the lessons 'learned' from one country to another in any meaningful way.

Gates threatens to buy millions and millions of servers for Microsoft

Big Al
Paris Hilton

Assumptions testing

All this 'software as service' malarky is predicated on the assumption that everyone, everywhere, has reliable, high speed, high volume Internet access.

Meanwhile, out in the real world...

Paris because I'm sure she'd have been able to work this one out as well.

World realizes Google home page is 'illegal'

Big Al
Alert

But there *is* a link to it...

... on my personalised iGoogle front page. Right next to the 'About' link.

Strange but true ;)

Russian crackers spread nuclear panic

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Cyberwarfare

Whatever the official line, there's a good chance that this stunt was pulled at the behest of Western intelligence services - after all, the Russian government is believed to have, erm, not exactly actively discouraged, the web assault on Estonia last year... This would be a useful way of reminding them that using hackers to further foreign policy is a two-edged sword.

Welcome to Las Vegas - Home of the technology superpower you've never heard of

Big Al
Alien

Attention to detail

"...because I spied an investment proposal from one of the world's top banks sitting on Roy's desk."

Had to grin when I read this, the 'leaving things on the desk for the visitor to see' trick is a classic negotiator's tactic... employed by those with a keen eye for detail!

The other point not explicitly mentioned is that Las Vegas is handy, one way or another, for a number of military installations of the more secretive kind. Staff at Roswell are reputed to be flown into and out of the site from Las Vegas, for example (well, the human staff, anyway...)

Social networking site bans oldies over sex offender fears

Big Al
Thumb Down

Re: Yet another aspect of 1984...

All in all, doubleplus ungood

DNS gaffe leaves spy agency totally under cover

Big Al
Black Helicopters

Surfers?

"Surfers were unable to reach NSA.gov..."

Er, you mean it's the sort of site that you might sort of just casually come across while browsing for pr0n, sorry, serious news articles about current affairs?

I can't help feeling that it's more the kind of site you were probably looking for. The question, of course, is why...

Google Translate speaks in (more) tongues

Big Al
Boffin

Translator's View

As a professional (Czech->English) translator, I should point out that no machine translation can ever be as good as one done by a human being. Well I would say that, wouldn't I? But really, machines just don't get the nuance, much of the idiom, or most of the slang - and they really have a problem with technical jargon that isn't pirated from English in the first place. Throw flexible word order (of the sort that Czech has) into the mix, and the fun really begins!

But this doesn't actually matter.

Google isn't (I hope) trying to put every translator on the planet out of a job. They're just providing a tool to increase the usefulness of Internet pages. The idea is to get the gist of what the page is about, not to provide something suitable for printing. Darned useful.

This is a world away from those who market translation software that IS designed to put translators like me out of a job, and which despite the marketing fortunately suffers from all the same problems.

Chinese boffins show off unbelievably tight ring

Big Al
Joke

Practical application

Small ring obviously for the little woman at home. Bless.

Vatican star watcher says aliens may be out there

Big Al
Alien

Image problem

The issue is not so much whether alien life exists or not, but the little time bomb ticking away at the base of many religions - the one that says God created Man in His own image...

The consequences of taking *that* line too literally could be immense - there are numerous instances in our terrestrial history of the 'infidels' and the 'subhuman' or 'non-human' being subjected to some jolly rotten behaviour. Mind you, THEY presumably didn't have mind-rays and the technology to cross galaxies in an instant.

UK's tallest bovine soars to 6ft 6in

Big Al
Joke

Well obviously...

... this story contains a serious load of old bull!

I wonder if the animals were abandoned because they were the result of horrific genetic manipulation, and experimentation into Things Man Was Never Meant To Know? So hard to tell, these days...

Texas realizes Amazon is in Texas

Big Al
Paris Hilton

It's where?

I know that most of the kids who went to 'Nam (literally) couldn't find the place on a map, but I hadn't realised that American high school geography was so bad it put rivers in the wrong countries... or are they in de Nile about this still?

Mind you, it's a sad fact that a decade ago I worked for a consultancy firm in the Czech Republic to which the US Dept. of Defense sent a packaged addressed to 'Prague, Poland'...

Paris because she's been known to have problems driving places, too.

Web fan-owned football club heads to Wembley final

Big Al
Coat

He shoots, he scores!

So this is what they mean by "Web Two Nil" then?

Mines the one with the team scarf stuffed in the pocket...

Windows XP SP3 sends PCs into endless reboot

Big Al
IT Angle

Where the...?

Alright for you lot, the automatic updater on the two flavours of XP in the house here haven't even noticed that there's something to download yet....

Good job it's nothing critical eh?

Peekaboo pledges pole-dance kit for Wii

Big Al

And the age rating...?

Some people really don't learn, do they?

It was a Pole-dancing Set from Peekaboo (complete with extendable pole) that landed Tesco in such hot water when it turned up in their 'Toys & Games' section for kids.

What measures will be taken to ensure that the same thing doesn't happen again?

US court orders online advertiser to use 'negative keywords'

Big Al
Thumb Up

Finally...

... a judge who understands the Internet and can incorporate that knowledge into their judgements! Get them training the others, quick!

Lords linger over extreme porn definition

Big Al
Coat

But...

"Time, perhaps, to start looking for a good disk washer!"

I have one already. Charming girl, comes from Manila. I'd provide photos, but they'd probably get me arrested under the new legislation... it's the rubber gloves that do it.

Mine's the grubby mac...

Apple update trick triples Safari share

Big Al
Stop

Desperation

All this skulduggery shows is that Apple have realised that they don't have a snowball's hope in hell of ever convincing a decent number of people to install their browser on its own merits (or lack thereof).

If things are this bad, surely now is a sensible time to be considering moving out of the browser market entirely?

Japanese council worker in 750k smut site pornathon

Big Al
Alert

One every three seconds?

That's what I call a reduced attention span...

Customers give Dell the finger over keyboard screw-up

Big Al
Alien

Czech out

"the Z has to be between the A and S... look on ANY other keyboard and that's where it sits"

As a perfectly legal alien, I switch between the QWERTY and QWERTZ layouts dozens of times a day, being in Central Europe and all...

Sounds like someone hasn't come to terms with living in the Global Village yet ;)

30 years of Spam - and we ain't finished yet

Big Al
Coat

ROI

Spam persists because of the astonishing return on investment that it generates.

Buy a CD full of e-mail addresses for a tiny amount per addy, splash some cash on some quality time in your favourite Internet cafe, and bring a few pennies for the coffee to drink while watching your mass mailer do it's funky thang, and *BAM* you just sent 100,000 messages. Or more.

If just ONE moron replies / responds / rushes out to buy your product / convinces their girlfriend it will change their private life (delete as applicable) - your time has been gainfully spent. And Deity-of-your-choice knows there are enough morons in the world, daytime TV is proof of that...

Awareness campaigns are all very wonderful, and I appreciate the effort that some people are making to reduce the spammers' incomes... but they'll never eliminate spam, because of this oh-so-tempting ROI. Which is of course even greater when the 'product' concerned doesn't actually exist...

Mines the designer label overcoat that goes so well with this suit...

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