* Posts by Chris G

6754 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

Getting the F... acebook out of Kea: Zuck's open-sourcerers retrain load balancer as a server

Chris G
Headmaster

10 times fewer servers

I find it odd that an engineer of any kind would use a phrase like that.

Fewer has no value so 10 times no value is meaningless, I assume he meant to say one tenth the number of servers.

Ikea hopes to spare shoppers the one-way Helvete of its stores with ÅR app overhaul

Chris G

Follow the instructions correctly

A real man never reads the instructions before several things have gone wrong, then you curse at the idiot who did the drawings left-handed, upside down and backwards.

But none of that explains the left over screws.

It's the curious case of the vanishing iPhone sales as Huawei grabs second place off Apple in smartmobe stakes

Chris G

Upping your game

Or not?

It used to be, that if your competitors were making goods that offered better value for money to customers and consequently were outselling you, you would find ways to up your game and beat them with a better product.

Not anymore though, now it's cheaper and less effort to destroy your competitors with some kind of pseudo-legal crap to stop them trading

The same currently applies with oil and gas too, among other things the US doesn't want competitors to supply, hence all the sanctions around the world to stop South American , Russian, Asian and Middle Eastern countries selling their nasty socialist products to the West.

Uh-oh .io: Question mark hangs over trendy tech startup domains as UN condemns British empire hangover

Chris G

Re: Hazarding a guess here

I had friends based on Upper Heyford and Mildenhall in the '80s, a few like my friends would mix with the locals but many never left the base and would have cheerfully removed the locals to a much greater distance.

Xenophobia seems to be a national trait

Uber JUMPs at chance to dump load of electric bikes across Islington

Chris G

Re: I was born in Islington

The best thing about Islington is, it's over 1300 Km from me.

When I lived in South London, I used to have to go up through Islington regularly, as far as I know some of the potholes had been in the roads since the sixties and are likely still there.

Chris G

Re: Chinese bikes already here

Ebikes are also showing up in Valencia too.

I find it odd as both Valencia and Madrid have excellent Metro systems, that's all I ever use when in either city.

Chris G

Re: Didn't work in Manchester either

That was my thinking. No matter what security the likes of Uber come up with the scallies will get round it, even if they are only going to chuck the bike in a canal or burn it.

Let's make laptops from radium. How's that for planned obsolescence?

Chris G

Re: Why is it...

I think you'll find all of those toys are in crates and boxes in the garages of boot fair sellers, along with the plastic troll things and McDoodoo's kids meal toys.

Chris G

Re: Well, they DO make degradable carrier bags

Lidl here in Spain and I guess everywhere else, have American style brown paper sacks, they definitely degrade well.

Usually as I am walking to the car.

Chris G

Re: Poor article

How is this a poor article?

It was entertaining (excluding the singing frog on amphetamines) and addressed some of the current problems with the World.

Chris G

Re: Straws

A lot of people make Mojitos with mint that has been crushed with a pestle so unless you want a mouth full of mint leaves a straw is a must. My bit for the environment is the two mojito straws I have, made of titanium.

Chris G

Brilliant idea

Organic self composting laptops would fetch a premium price just like organic vegetables, they would also not have to look good as buyers of 'organic' produce are conditioned to trade good looking veg for so called healthy veg.

There are already sellers of operating systems that are self composting so why not laptops?

For a while in the '70s Lancia were buying back their rotten cars, my youngest brother had a spray shop but for a few months his biggest earner was 'disposing' of Lancias the owners couldn't sell.

I think Yugo cars had the absolute worst bodywork, some of them were rusty from new.

Minecraft's my Nirvana. I found it hard, it's hard to find. Oh well, whatever... Never Mined

Chris G

Re: What happens in the boonies

At one time I had over 80 birds, including Buff Orpingtons and Wyandottes, they produced fantastic eggs but most people seemed to prefer to buy anaemic eggs from the supermarket instead of my fresh free-range eggs.

In the end I did a deal with the shop.in the village run by a Sikh family, they had a key, collected the eggs and sold them then gave me credit against my groceries and beer.

Townies are weird.

Chris G

@DwarfPants. Agree with you whole heartedly the fewer millenials that trek out to my bit of country the better. Most of them have no idea what the country side is for other than to build motorways, hell most of them don't know that eggs don't get made in Sainsburys but comes out of a chicken's arse.

Facebook removes about as many fake accounts as it has actual monthly users (yes, billions) in effort to clean up online

Chris G

I find it significant that a company actually needs a VP of Integrity.

He is going to be a busy boy if is job is to ensure integrity thoughtout the business, or is it only other people's posts he is concerned with?

WikiLeaks boss Assange acted as a foreign spy, Uncle Sam exclaims in fresh rap sheet

Chris G

Re: This will be fun to watch...

Generally in order to be considered treasonous one must have committed an act against a country, monarch, organisation or person to whom they owe allegiance.

Since Assange is not an American citizen he can't by the usual definition of the word be charged with treason against the US,unless at some stage he has sworn allegiance to it.

AI can now animate the Mona Lisa's face or any other portrait you give it. We're not sure we're happy with this reality

Chris G

A really novel use

Make videos of politicians telling the truth about......well, almost anything.

Never let something so flimsy as a locked door to the computer room stand in the way of an auditor on the warpath

Chris G

What is it

About auditors and inspectors that makes them want a career as large walking sphincter?

The father of one of my girlfriends many years ago was a bank inspector, a lovely man, I could imagine him as a kid explaining that he had to pull the legs off flies because he was counting them.

Third time's a charm? SpaceX hopes to launch 60 Starlink broadband sats into orbit tonight

Chris G

Network of thousands

At what point will we need a global Orbital Traffic Control and who gives permissions to erstwhile satellite launchers?

Also is there a record of everything we have in orbit so that a launch isn't going to insert a satellite into someone else's secret sattellite orbit?

I know they should all be visible but if the military likes stealth planes and ships I would be surprised if no-one has attempted something stealthy in orbit.

British Army cyber 'n' psyops unit 77 Brigade can't even brainwash civvies into helping it meet recruitment targets

Chris G

Re: government spooks

Do the part timers get paid the same as the TA? If so that would explain a lot about failure to recruit enough people.

We'll hack back at Russians, declare UK ministers in cyber-Blitz blitz

Chris G

@ David Shaw

Your 5 star general was clearly a master of the deadly art of Llap Goch, the perfect art for jeremies to study.

Penny Mordor is a lot scarier than Jeremy, she believes everything she says, even when kt is self contradictory rubbish.

Irish data cops are shoving a probe right into Google's ads

Chris G

I can't find it at the moment but I will look for the article I read and post a link later if I find it.

Edit; look for ' Google tracks offline purchasing, at Business Insider'

Chris G

"Set browser to "stealth" (private) mode, activate an ad-blocker, and never ever click on any ad that gets through. "

Add to that 'Don't use the internet, don't buy anything with a card online or off and don't use Android phones',

I'm sure there is a lot more that can track you but Google is very interested in keeping up with your purchases offline to see if their online ads are working. So even if you are blocking ads they are still trying to slurp data from purchases.

NASA boffins may just carve your name on a chip and send it to Mars if you ask nicely

Chris G

ET junk mail

' Have your glargs been zoogled when sloozing?

You may be entitled to compensation, we can help you to claim, call #"87643246887 free and without obligation today.

Comcast – the cable giant America loves and trusts – confirms in-home health device to keep tabs on subscribers

Chris G

Re: Fox in the Hen House

Medical monitoring is for when you are in hospital, a panic button round your neck would be better in the house than a surveillance system for the insurance company's benefit.

Either way, ambulances increasingly fail to get to emergencies in time and the insurance don't want you to reach the hospital anyway.

Twist my Arm why don't you: Brit CPU behemoth latest biz to cease work with Huawei – report

Chris G

Re: International law plays no role, US Imperial law is all that matters in this fracas

America considers itself exceptional, Trump considers himself more exceptional so he can do things thst are huugely exceptional.

This is a sett-up! Mum catches badger feasting on contents of freezer

Chris G

Re: LOL

I assume you have relatives in Ankh Morpork?

Chris G

Re: Wrong number of legs

I make it a general rule never to eat anything with too many legs or whose initial appearance would tempt me to poke or hit it with a stick.

Besides, I'm allergic to molluscs.

Chris G

Re: What about the cat

No pockets, he couldn't carry his glasses.

It's lucky for the householder though, that ratty, toad and mole didn't join the party with the rest of their friends.

UK Space Agency cracks open its wallet, fishes out a paltry £2m for Brit plans to return to orbit

Chris G

Re: UK Space Agency cracks open its wallet...

One would think the wallet cracking would be aimed at the Sabre project to support it more and to keep it in house. The latest tests were done in the states and I am sure the test data will have been recorded, copied and perused for subsequent use.

It's not as if the UK gov' won't spend money, just not on really useful things.

Chris G

Compare that

To the money spunked on failed gov' IT rollouts and it shows how serious they are about developing anything sciencey.

Revealed: Facebook, Google's soft-money 'blackmail' to stall Euro fake news crackdown

Chris G

Re: The only surprise is...

It's not only the yanks, most mining companies from all over the world including civilised Canada and French Nestle have appalling track records for low or no morality and ethics.

One good example would be Union Carbide at Bhopal in India, now Dow owns the problem and over thirty years on still refuses to clean the site which is still incredibly toxic, although money was paid, most of it never reached the victims.

Uncle Sam to blow millions on mind-control weapon tech that can be fitted without surgery

Chris G

To complete the circuit we need to implant a positive terminal in the skull, the negative will be inserted,.........

Chris G

Re: Thinking too much not allowed

Considering the real time feedback these systems will have, hacking them could be unpleasant for the operator.

Chris G

Thinking too much not allowed

"I hate that bloody sarn't major......ooops!"

Now Chinese-made drones rubbing US govt up the Huawei: 'Strong concerns' DJI kit threat to national security

Chris G

Re: Brain Dead Trump Forgets . . .

There are sources of rare earths in Afghanistan but the CIA are too busy growing opium there to develop mining.

There efforts being made to develop alternative sources closer to home but it's a slow business with environmental concerns.

Chris G

Re: contain components that can compromise your data

"disturbing tastes"

Try American Hershey chocolate, Twinky bars or Monterey Jack which is allegedly cheese.

Chris G

How long before they get round to Chinese restaurants and fortune cookies disseminating unamerican propaganda?

Honey, hive had it with this drone: Couple lived for years with thousands of bees in bedroom wall

Chris G

Re: This article....

Enough with the tortured puns already!

Beehive for a bit.

FCC boss blesses T-Mobile US-Sprint merger amid sketchy promises, lashings of incoherency

Chris G

Now Robert Mueller has nothing to do, maybe he could have a look under Pai's crust, bet there's a lot of gravy there.

50 years ago: Apollo 10 takes an unplanned spin above the lunar surface – and sh!t gets sweary

Chris G
Pint

That must have been one if the most historic sphincter clenching moments in human history, imagine being so close to a hard unscheduled landing, a quarter of a million miles from any help in the unlikely event you survived it.

It is incredible what was achieved with the available technology and much of that success was down to the quality and courage of the mej involved.

Where there's a will, there's Huawei: US govt already eases trade ban with 90-day reprieve

Chris G

Re: You know who else isn't acting in Americas best interest?

I would be very interested in an explanation and description of what the jaffa had done for Putin lately.

Is thid action against Huawei going to significantly increase Russia's world smart phone sales?

Trump has had two years to begin paying back for his election support from Russia and from where I sit he appears to be an ungrateful sod.

Whether or not you like either one of them, it doesn't look like they're buddies so give it a rest on that one.

My opinion is Trump got in because some of the movers and groovers could see someone they could manipulate to improve their fortunes.

Arguably, Hilary gavehim the most help simply by being so toxic.

Do Not Track is back in the US Senate. And this time it means business. As in, fining businesses that stalk you online

Chris G

Lobbyists in the lobby

And coming out of the woodwork in the senator's office I expect.

He wont be popular if this goes through.

Even GDPR is not functioning that well though, I find a lot of British sites are still making it almost impossible to opt out of cookie use.

I assume they are banking on Brexit happening soon enough that they will be out before Europe can catch them.

UK's planned Espionage Act will crack down on Snowden-style Brit whistleblowers, suspected backdoored gear (cough, Huawei)

Chris G

Weasel

I wouldn't trust this man as far as I could throw him.

When two become one: 200 boffins contribute to first Ultima Thule paper

Chris G

Re: Geostationary?

This launch was one of a total of 35, so I guess it's global.

Chris G

Doo Beidou Beidou

Wondering how the marmalade mule will apply sanctions to Chinese GPS as a threat to national security?

Also wonder if Huawei will be offering an app for it!!

In the other news, the work on Ultima Thule is incredible, like finding a needle in an African haystack from London by remote control, if they fly by something else before their time is up that will really be the icing on the cake.

Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy: Run Huawei, Google Play, turns away, from Huawei... turns away

Chris G

As I said in a conversation yesterday, making a note of sho buys what immediately after one of Trump's spats could be very informative, a bit of insider trading based on his 'political' decisions must be hard to resist for some.

Chris G

You need to get out more; several providers in Europe are dependent on Huawei as their main range on offer outside of Apple.

They offer more or less, a model to equal everything Samsung offers but cheaper.

Now is the time for someone to jump in and secure the niche left open by Google via the Orange one.

Cosmoboffins use neural networks to build dark matter maps the easy way

Chris G

Wish

Yesterday among the stars

I looked for mass I couldn't see

I couldn't see it again today

Oh how I wish it would go away.

With apologies to Mr Mearns.

It's 50 years to the day since Apollo 10 blasted off: America's lunar landing 'dress rehearsal'

Chris G

Re: Grit

Never seen the film, not even sure I have heard of it.

I did know however that one or two 'nauts had been test pilots.