* Posts by Chris G

6754 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

DeepNude deep-nuked: AI photo app stripped clothes from women to render them naked. Now, it's stripped from web

Chris G

This software was almost certainly written by people who have never had a girlfriend.

The dread sound of the squeaking caster in the humming data centre

Chris G

Gone fishing?

A dodgy caster would be putting the bait in the wrong place, a castor however, may steer you wrong.

Buckminsterfullerene sounds like the next UK Prime Minister but trust us, it's in fact the largest molecule yet found in interstellar space

Chris G

Re: Dark matter

No, because it is immediately clear they are interacting with more than just gravity.

Chris G

Re: Interstellar footballs

Or Hyper space jumpers

Eggheads have found a positive link between the number of racist tweets and the number of racist hate crimes in US cities

Chris G

Correlation

Might indicate that it is worth considering the originators of the racist comments may be directly linked to the perpetrators of racist acts.

In a population that has high numbers of racist comments on-line it seems likely some of them will be putting their money where their mouths are.

I think we have less of a problem that such comments spur racist acts than that these populations have higher incidence of racism.

The article gives the impression that more control over comments (censorship) is necessary something that inflames and stirs up hatred more.

The seven deadly sins of the 2010s: No, not pride, sloth, etc. The seven UI 'dark patterns' that trick you into buying stuff

Chris G

Re: A Prime example

I have found a lot of sellers who use Amazon also sell direct, typically their Anazon prices are higher

That also seems to apply to sellers who are both on eBay and Amazon the same product cost more on Amazon.

Chris G

A lot of the sellers on Chinese platforms like AliExpress and Gearbest use countdown timers on so called Flash Sales and often dubious reviews.

I have seen similar things on Amazon and E bay but none of these techniques are particularly new.

What it does mean is that schools ought to run 'Buyer cynicism' classes to prepare kids fir real life, never believe what a seller is telling you about his products until you have checked for yourself.

Weather forecasters are STILL banging on about 5G clashing with their sensors. As if climate change is a big deal

Chris G

No severe weather warnings?

Oh I see! Somebody else needs to make a profit? Well that's okay then, a few hurricanes aren't going to hurt anybody.

Sputnik? No, comrade, this is Spunknik: Frozen sperm manages to survive zero-grav in this totally realistic test

Chris G

Re: ? - just a marketing stunt

Hypergoolic maybe?

It's a fullblown Crysis: Gamers press pause on PC purchases, shipments freeze

Chris G

The Chinese economy 'only' grew 6.6%, it's lowest in years.....

In Europe if a country's economy is doing better than two percent everyone is crowing about it.

That the Chinese are doing that well in the face of Trumpian economic warfare makes them pretty good in my eyes.

Iran is doing to our networks what it did to our spy drone, claims Uncle Sam: Now they're bombing our hard drives

Chris G

Re: A certain amount of thrashing around going on here....

They should modernise, make all the silos part of the IoT so that commanders can start Armageddon with their Android phone from anywhere in the world.

Chris G

Re: A certain amount of thrashing around going on here....

What makes them think that if they turn out the lights in Russia, that Russia won't or can't turn out the lights in the US?

Considering the hacking skills of even a deprived, small and relatively poor country with an apparently uneducated population like N Korea, it should be easy for a large country like Russia with it's resources to have developed such skills.

The US has probably got more to lose in terms of disruption if significant portions of industry were hit by full on cyber warfare. I would be surprised if Iran was this blatant they are generally far more subtle in their approach.

Chris G

Re: Statement by Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency

You forgot the troll icon, not everyone here recognises sarcasm.

Open-heart nerdery: Boffins suggest identifying and logging in people using ECGs

Chris G

The end of biometrics

The way things are going, with continual search for new, unique methods of indentity verification, the bottom line will be rectal print detection.

Everyone will need trapdoor trousers and will have to sit on a rectal scanner to verify who they are after the thumb print, retinal and ECG scanners.

We've Falcon caught it! SpaceX finally nets a fairing half after a successful Heavy launch

Chris G

Say what you like

About SpaceX's occasionally whacky boss, as a relative newby to space stuff he has driven some aspects of rocketry and achieved some noteable firsts.

17 years ago after failing to buy refurbed Russian IBMs he decided to do it his way and hasn't done too badly.

Are there any old volcanoes on the moon for Elon to hollow out?

Mayday, mayday. Cray, you cray cray: Investor attempts to halt HPE's $1.3bn biz gobble

Chris G
Trollface

Well, if the sale doesn't go through at least it will save the payment of court costs from HPE suing Cray to cover the fact that they (HPE) ran it into the ground for some reason

Biz tells ransomware victims it can decrypt their files... by secretly paying off the crooks and banking a fat margin

Chris G

While technically probably not aiding, they are certainly abetting the perpetrators of ransomeware and it appears they are making more money from the crime than the so called criminals.

Curioser and curioser: Little Mars rover sniffs out highest ever levels of methane

Chris G

Perhaps

NASA is roving the arse end of Mars

You're Huawei off base on this, Rubio: Lawyers slam US senator's bid to ban Chinese giant from filing patent lawsuits

Chris G

Re: Rubio is an idiot

Rubio is a political bimbo who will do anyhting to get his name in the news and his face viewed by as many as possible, with little or no thought as to the consequences of any of his harebrained ideas and thoughts.

Interestingly Rubio means blond in Spanish.....

There's that phrase again: JP Morgan CIO told Autonomy's first HP boss it was 'a shit show'

Chris G

Re: Not Sure Who This Really Helps

All of yhe things he mentioned, demonstrate that HP did no worthwhile investigation at all.

It seems they saw something shiny, wanted it and bought it.

By the time this court case is done HP will be another billion down in legal fees.

Must watch: GE's smart light bulb reset process is a masterpiece... of modern techno-insanity

Chris G

Re: "smarter lighting in every way"

Rich 11 I am thankful that I was not drinking or eating when I read your comment, my spluttering laughter did frighten the cat though.

Chris G

Re: Child-proof reset operation

My dad was a painter and decorator, I dragged a pair of steps with my sister's help up two flights of stairs to get at the jars of raisins and currants.

Chris G

Re: "smarter lighting in every way"

@ Lord Elpuss, I bet you iron your pyjamas, underpants and socks.

Alexa, am I having a heart attack? Here's how smart speakers could detect their masters spluttering to death

Chris G

Re: Just out of curiosity...

I live on a decent mainish route between two villages, the closest anyone has got to my house, is the track 100 metres to the south of my gate. Tha track takes them into the countryside where the wild pigs live.

A Spanish ambulance in emergency mode seems to have a maximum speed of about 65 KMH (40 MPH), so I'm not planning on having ambulance worthy agonal breathing any time soon.

As for smart speakers, I rate the normal two state speaker (on/off) as smart enough for me.

Good old British 'fair play' is the answer to vexed Huawei question, claims security minister

Chris G

@Claverhouse

Since the war successive governments have minimalised and eroded British industry while crowing about British scientific research that in the same breath was being denied support.

By the time we got to Thatcher she made made as sure as she could that the country should develop into a nation of clerks working in the service industries.

Britain does make some excellent products but thanks to all of our governments no matter their alleged position to the right or left, there isn't enough industry left to fight a war against the Isle of Wight.

Personally I would prefer to do business with Chinese companies that spy on me than make a trade deal with the States that has US corporations asset stripping the NHS (such as it is) along with everything else they can get their hands on until Brits have no employment rights and no welfare state.

Queue baa, Libra: People will buy what Facebook's selling. They shouldn't, but they will

Chris G

Re: The Day the World Went Away

Miley Cyrus butchering Cliff Richard.

I would probably pay to see that.

Bloody vultures! Cheeky Spanish paraglider firm pinched El Reg's mascot

Chris G

Vulture flocking

Vultures flock to many parts of Spain in Summer.

Mostly to rip off tourists.

Comms room, comms room, comms room is on fire – we don't need no water, let the engineer burn

Chris G

Re: And then some fool fills up a car with Li-ion...

Diesel is usually only explosive when it has been vapourised into a nice fuel air mix, though it is a main ingredient in car bombs when mixed with fertilizer as an oxidizing agent. I think you need something else to initiate it though.

With charging lead acid batteries, it only takes a small amount of hydrogen sulphide to spread bits of battery and acid all over the place.

I have a remote ducted fan to ventilate the battery shed on my PV system to dissipate any gas buildup, the fan motor is brushless too, to avoid sparks.

Bollocks or brutal truth: Do smart-mobes make us grow skull horns? We take a closer look at boffins' startling claims

Chris G

Nothing is clear

Which posture leads to these spurs?

Presumably not holding a phone to one or the other ear, but hunching forward to text or read.

If that is the case then every generation of school children and the majority of office workers will exhibit the same spurs.

Personally I think it has more to do with the rise of horny mutants.

Vodafone urges UK.gov to get on with it and conclude review into Huawei

Chris G

I can't help wondering if Trump or whoever is pulling his strings are or were aware of the knock on effects these sanctions can have on friendly countries and some of the businesses in them.

I also wonder if, having weakened these apparent allies if there are US corporations waiting in the wings with solutions (at a very reasonable and legally binding for life) cost.

PowerPoint to start telling you that your presentation is bad and you should feel bad

Chris G

Re: - Thou shalt not use the words "going forward"

Can we also add ' Thou shalt not Reach Out'

That's one of a number of phrases that trigger my slap reflex.

Chris G

Re: As I was told

Fortunately, I'm not very smart, I have been reading books while watching TV since I was a kid.

Cyber-IOU notes. Voucher hell on wheels. However you want to define Facebook's Libra, the most ridiculous part is its privacy promise

Chris G

Re: Investors are "pouring in" a pittance

@croc. I wish I could give you more upvotes for that statement..

Zuck has the whole world to play with there are millions of people who are not well informed and will make good targets for Farcemoney.

UK.gov whacks export ban on 'grotesque' crab made by famous Brit potter bros

Chris G

Quick! Crab it before it gets away!

Freaking out about fiendish IoT exploits? Maybe disable telnet, FTP and change that default password first?

Chris G

A large French owned chain of sheds selling home and DIY stuff had a one evening promo on IoT shit recently, I had received an email invite but forgotten about it.

I walked into the store and listened to a Spanish sales droid for about twenty minutes, introducing locks, nesty things and all kinds of other connected rubbish, not one mention of passwords or security in the IT sense only that it was all very simple to set up and more or less plug and play.

IoT needs regulation from yesterday, one of the regulations should be an installation system that requires security and something like 2FA for all access from minute one for all connected items whether domestic or commercial.

Though the ultimate security would be to drop the whole 'connected world' thing .

What price the Moon? Tips from the past might save the present

Chris G

@irongut.

But what if they breed?

Regarding the Mole's problems on Mars, I think the drill has hit the only piece of rebar for miles. Always happens to me when I'm drilling.

Finally, an AI that can reliably catch and undo Photoshop airbrushing. Who made it? Er, Photoshop maker Adobe

Chris G

I'm an old fart who grew up.using film, I value being able to get good results at the camera.

The big advantage for me with digital is the ability to take multiple shots with various settings without spending a fortune in film and processing time.

Mostly I use the artillery effect of bracketing so that the money shot should be somewhere in the middle.

It seems to me that the camera and taking a good shot is the least significant part of producing an image for many nowadays.

Boffins' neural network can work out from your speech whether you'll develop psychosis

Chris G

We need to publish something

What can we do to get an interesting paper out easily?

That seems to be what this paper is about; a small sample of people overly weighted in one direction, no passable control sample and a questionable source of 'normal conversation' that isn't even conversation.

While the aims of the research are laudable the methods are laughable.

Well, that what the voices tell me.

This isn't Boeing to end well: Plane maker to scrap some physical cert tests, use computer simulations instead

Chris G

The good news is

We are going to use an in house AI to write the simulations.

Chris G

Boeing Boeing boing!

I think I am going to be a lot fussier about who I fly with and what's in their fleet.

A good friend of mine isa CFD guy, has worked on civil and military aircraft as well as things that are supposed to go bang. He values physical testing as it verifies his work (or not).

US can try extraditing Julian Assange next year, rules UK court

Chris G

Re: What 'crime' does the USA want him for ?

I think you forgot the Joke icon, if you were serious you should note that even your prosecutor only said he put lives at risk, if they could provide direct correlation that Assange's actions had resulted in one death there would be a special rendition team trying to abseil into Belmarsh from a black helicopter.

Exodus: Tech top brass bail on £1bn UK courts reform amid concerns project is floundering

Chris G

TCEP

Transforming Compliance and Enforcement Programme, so are they getting rid of fat blokes who threaten you with ridiculous prison sentences for not paying a parking fine and replacing them with robocop?

PAY NOW! You have three seconds to comply!

Those darn users don't know what they're doing (not like us, of course)

Chris G

Re: System

The worst item of plug and eat that I have come across was a toasted sandwich maker at a place I visited. It looked as though the last time it was cleaned was coming off the production line. The manager I was dealing with said he had seem people warming up old pizza, putting crisps in it and shuddered to think what else had been warmed up in it.

It was one of those staff room items that would need blokes in white overalls and a forced air helmet to dispose of it.

Anyone else find it weird that the bloke tasked with probing tech giants for antitrust abuses used to, um, work for the same tech giants?

Chris G

Re: Anyone surprised?

I'm not sure it matters who is in the Whitehouse, who is Prime minister, Chancellor ir whatever, modern politics and democracy go hand in hand with these kind of appointments. Look at the several individuals who have been working in British government and then gone on to work for the parties they previously worked with.

ALIS through the looking glass: F-35 fighter jet's slurpware nearly made buyers pull out – report

Chris G

Buying this aircraft seems to be roughly on par with buying a bridge.

2,500 years ago, these folks weren't cremated – but their funeral-goers were absolutely baked: Earliest evidence of pot smoking discovered

Chris G

Hallucinogenic state

Back in the late '60s and the '70s a premium import was the occasional lot of opiated Thai sticks, they definitely made you see things.

Large Redmond Collider: CERN reveals plan to shift from Microsoft to open-source code after tenfold license fee hike

Chris G

Re: @LDS "I wonder why CERN doesn't fit the "academic institution"......."

'Aiming too low'

I would have a out 80cm higher than the feet.

Oblivious 'influencers' work on 3.6-roentgen tans in Chernobyl after realising TV show based on real nuclear TITSUP

Chris G

Re: Sacrifices Must Be Made

@IaS. Your post suggests an alternative energy source derived from influencers, sell them on the idea of running in a giant hamster wheel with a dynamo attached for several hours a day to benefit their health/looks/ IQ or whatever, if their huge numbers of followers do the same, useful energy may be produced and they will be too out of breath to expound as much shit as usual.

Note: various forms of encouragement are available.

Chris G

Re: Throw a party for influencers at Chernobyl.

An alternative would be a pool party at Fukishima.

Enemy of the Matebook: Huawei shuts up laptop shop. When is it back? Depends on America's Entity List

Chris G

I suspect China is playing the long game because it gives them more time to get other countries involved in chucking out the dollar and using national currencies for trade and helping to establish the petroyenrouble.