* Posts by Chris G

6754 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

Robots still suck. It's all they can do to stand up – never mind rise up

Chris G

Re: Not many people think of walking through a doorway without hitting the walls as sophisticated

The final line was exactly what I was thinking while watching the video, the entire grid is one robot.

The complexity is a hurdle to overcome in designing it from the start but that complexity is why it works.

Plus, as clever and complex in appearance it may serm, the overall system is relatively dumb in AI terms.

NASA readies commands to switch on Hubble's back-up hardware

Chris G

If the bypass fails

I recommend firing a well aimed solid copper hammer at it so that on arrival the hammer gives a healthy nudge.

UK's data watchdog probes use of private email to discuss government business at the Department of Health

Chris G

Re: While she's at it

What's the difference?

It is only a case of ensuring that all official business is conducted on secure government channels and not via private email, whatsapp or other media.

If it applies to the health ministry it applies to all the others.

Chris G

While she's at it

Elizabeth Denham may want to have a look at all ministries and public bodies who currently seem to have a penchant for flinging contracts at companies without following selection rules.

Though she may need a larger staff.

China Aerospace Investment Holdings chairman in custody after two academics assaulted

Chris G

What kind of executive can get so drunk that he will kick the crap out of a colleague and half kill an 86 year old woman?

This arsehole shouldn't be out on the streets let alone be a member of the IAA.

Chris G

'Matt' is one of the lizards albeit a minor one.

The big komodo is responsible for letting the other reptiles think they can get away with anything.

Certainly not a new thing in government.

Hoe yes he did: IT pro record-botherer balances garden tool on his head for 2.5 hours

Chris G

Master of Balancing Acts

"He has an electrical engineering degree from MIT, an MBA from Boise State, and is passionate about promoting STEM.

It's the MBA that did it, I knew there had to be a use for them.

Australian geoboffins have zoomed in and enhanced CSI-style soil analysis: Bung it in a machine, find the crime scene

Chris G

Why on earth

Did they use simulated soil samples, is there a shortage of soil in Oz?

I would have thought using real samples would more quickly highlight problems or complexities.

Age discrimination case against IBM leaks emails, docs via bad redaction

Chris G

Re: Wonder if the redactors ever learn

Mosy of the redactors have probably not been there long enough to have learned.

If only there were well experienced staff available.......

Gov.UK vows to chop red tape in the digital sector. What could possibly go wrong?

Chris G

Ooh! Ooh! Sir, Ive got one!

"reduce red tape and cut down on cumbersome and confusing policy so businesses are freed to come up with new ideas, grow their firms and create new jobs and prosperity.”

Dump IR35. It fits that description perfectly.

Kepler spots four rogue Earth-mass exoplanets floating in space, unbound to any star

Chris G

Free floating planet population

They are not heading outward from the galactic core by any chance?

Pentagon scraps $10bn JEDI winner-takes-all cloud contract

Chris G

Re: is the new wikileaks?

Don't forget, the New Cloud™ is on prem rented servers at a premium.

So the DoD will get the best of both worls; in house servers but no control over them.

Chris G

Re: Biden seems to be downsizing

"Sadly, when bad actor vendors will happily cripple projects like JEDI even when their bids lose on their merits, it makes it hard to hold down costs or get anything done.

Perhaps, if those bad actors spent less on litigation and more time as well as money, on ensuring the quality of their output, everyone would be happier.

As it is, I suspect they will milk any contracts they do win, until the cash cows are dried and wizened.

I would like to be a fly on the wall at Oracle right now!

Radioactive hybrid terror pigs break out of nuclear hellscape home and into people's hearts

Chris G

Radioactive Hybrid Terror Pigs

In Spaaaace!

These are the stories of a band of intrepid terror pigs, their ten year mission to go where no pig has trotted before.....

Disco classic Rasputin and pop anthem revealed as reasons Twitter suspended Indian politicians

Chris G

Re: I have a button/badge from the '70s ...

I still have that badge along with a collection of bike badges.

Also a 'Piss on disco' badge that I think came from Iron Horse magazine.

I couldn't Boney M's music in the 70s and still can't.

Recently downloaded a Hu album though, pretty good.

Dedicated (Local) Cloud Infrastructure-as-a-Service to grow almost 1000 per cent in five years

Chris G

Re: New but the same old

History constantly repeats itself but each repeat has subtle differences.

In this case, instead of Xerox renting copiers and making the client pay extra for toner, paper and a bloke to polish the drum, it's server rental and maintenance.

Still with the lock in and inflated hidden costs tied up by a contract written on stone, I assume.

PPE, Part II: UK health department takes second stab at e-commerce system for personal protective equipment

Chris G

Re: Is there a separate paper-based VIP channel

Brown envelopes are so old school, now contract enablers have a guaranteed highly paid, low work board position or well paid after dinner circuit to look forward to.

Brown envelopes can be used as evidence.

What's this about a lawyer looking for an heir? City of London Police seek IT crew to help crack down on fraud

Chris G

Happy victims?

"Not only will this service improve the victim experience and satisfaction with the service"

The system will allow victims to learn how and why they were robbed in a seamless and efficient manner and leave them secure in the knowledge that when and if the white collar perps are ever caught, that they will learn something useful like baking bread or making number plates while they are in their open prison.

Taikonauts complete seven-hour spacewalk, the first for China since 2008

Chris G

Well done!

I can only wish them all the luck in and out of the world, the more people and countries that go into space the better for science and man's outward looking.

I am 70, when I was a kid I thought by now we would be a lot further in manned space exploration than we are, never realised space had to demonstrate a profit back then.

Now the profit might be down to who gets a flag/corporate logo on it first.

Black screens in Windows 11? Bork has seen it all before

Chris G

W11

I got my first W11 nag on Saturday on the opening screen when I powered up.

I shall be ignoring that for as long as possible, to see what horrors await.

NHS England staff voice concerns about access controls on US spy-tech firm Palantir's COVID-19 data store

Chris G

Re: What a surprise

"Palantir's data now"

Exactly what I was thinking, given the nature of the firm and it having access to NHS data, they probably have everything they want with back ups all the way down.

Devilish plans for your next app update ensure they never happen – unless you start praying

Chris G

Re: Crime of the century

The actual issue boils down to a government minister whose behaviour and therefore his character, is patently dishonest.

To his family, his constituents and the country on whose behalf he was paid to act.

In the past, people have lost their heads for less.

Even his resignation was dishonest, giving the impression this relationship was something new when he had already bugun to live with his aide.

Chris G
Devil

Re: I thought we’d settled this ?

That may be 'root of all evil' central but diversification in disruption is the way to go.

Just look at some other major players and how they treat their employees and customers while wallowing in ill gotten gains.

As I mentioned elsewhere, one particularly wealthy individual who owns a penis shaped rocket, bears a striking resemblance to Aleister Crowley.

Other representatives of hell on Earth are available.

Brit firm fined £200k for banging on about missold PPI in 11.4 million nuisance calls

Chris G

There should be an app for that.

An app where telemarketing organisations and their numbers are listed and updated in a similar way to anti virus, which will block them from calling your device, might work.

Of course I have zero idea how to apply such an idea, maybe someone has.

If such a thing existed, I would subscribe to it.

Jeff Bezos names the fourth person for the first New Shepard flight: Wally Funk

Chris G

Re: About bloody time too!

I am certain the offer is more about bearding Branson than giving a well deserved seat to a pioneering woman.

In other news, the other day I came across a pic online of Aleister Crowley, I thought it was a pic of Bezos until I read the caption.

D'you think they could be related?

Sir Tim Berners-Lee's World Wide Web NFT fetches $5.4m at auction while rest of us gaze upon source code for $0

Chris G

Re: "The sooner this insanity ends the better."

Nooo! You really don't want to see all my ports opened.

May the Infungible blessings of St Digitus be upon you!

Chris G

Re: "The sooner this insanity ends the better."

If you peruse some of the absurd rubbish on the internet, including flat Earth, free energy and End of Days and the Book of Enoch quotes, the population is just as likely to be swallowed up by idiotic fads and beliefs as it ever was. The human race must have a gene for it but the gene is expressed more strongly in some.

I bet if you plastered it everywhere, you could get a cult of St Digitus the Infungible a decent following in a couple of weeks of Twittering and Feacebooking, especially if you have an App for it.

Data collected to promote public health must never be surrendered to police

Chris G

"That we track ourselves willingly shows us just how far our feelings about privacy have been transformed by the pandemic."

That is quite an assumption, the majority of people I know are reluctant to give anything more than is absolutely necessary in terms of private data, although I do know a fair number of the 'If you have nothing to hide' variety. But they will be the first volunteers for Soylent.

most of the restaurants I go into, have a QR code on the table, and they are mostly to save them having to walk out and hand the client an infectious menu, I just tell them I don't have a phone with me so give me a bug spreading printed menu.

They are all plasticised and wipeable with hand sanitiser anyway.

Interestingly, my neighbour after going to a sushi retaurant twice and using the QR, began to get ads for the place popping up when online.

So far only Castilla la Mancha insists on QR codes the rest of us don't.

Robinhood hit with record $70m bill by financial watchdog for outages, misleading investors

Chris G

Re: "will not admit nor deny any wrongdoing"

It may be time for a change in how the law s are administered, willingness to pay the fine or settlement should be considered an admission of guilt that should by virtue of the admission be treated a little more leniently than if a defendant insisted on arguing in court, still being found guilty and having cost the court time and money, the admission of guilt being recorded as such.

Make the penalties for a guilty verdict much harsher.

Chris G

TrApps

There are dozens of trading apps advertising everywhere, including via Youtubers, they make it so easy to trade and many claim low or non existent commissions.

Yesterday the FT had an article pointing out the £100million a month these no commission apps are making in commission.

Trading is easy, and so is betting on the gee gees, you will probably make about the same profits too.

Exoskeleton startup wants to slap robot arms on schoolkids

Chris G
Trollface

Give us the boy and we'll give you the borg

Exo-skeletons for schoolkids are an excellent idea. With the right AI and full exo-skeletons children can be subtly steered in the right direction, no looking out of the window or daydreaming instead of writing and with a well designed shock system, teachers can admonish children remotely, transhumanism at work!

New Yorkers react to strikingly indifferent statue of Elon Musk with cheerful hostility

Chris G

I don't know about 14" miniatures of Elon but a playmobil version would allow El Reg to have some fun.

Cross-discipline boffin dream team issues social media warning: FIX IT NOW!

Chris G

"Stewardship of global collective behaviour"

The title of their paper tells you everything you need to know about the authors.

A bunch of academics who think they know better than the masses and how the masses should be steered.

If they really want to improve society, they may want to consider putting their weight behind the genuine improvement of educational standards, teach critical thinking and always asking questions rather than accepting everything one reads blindly on trust.

Of course good citizens shouldn't question too much though, should they?

‘Fasten your seat belts, raise your tray table, and disconnect your Bluetooth headsets from the entertainment unit’

Chris G

Just make sure if you fly Max not make it the same week you give up smoking, glue sniffing, amphetamines etc, although having good blutooth cans and watching a good movie may improve your experience towards the end of the flight.

When free and open source actually means £6k-£8k per package: Atos's £136m contract with NHS England

Chris G

Re: A Pity

Crayons only huh?

I wonder if they have a pin board for cabinet meetings and award a gold star for drawing of the week?

Chris G

A Pity

The NHS isn't £350million a week better off, they could do with it to pay the French.

Is there no one in the British government whp has an idea of how to write and spec a tender?

America world’s sole cyber superpower, ten years ahead of China, says Brit think tank

Chris G

"which government in their right mind would allow their citizens to share their darkest secrets with, and open their minds to, unknown people from anywhere on the globe, and with unknown motivations?"

Any government that can probably access most of the above.

Probably more than you think.

Hubble’s cosmic science is mind-blowing, but its soul celebrates something surprising about us

Chris G

Re: best of the best bodgerissimae

Bodging is usually done with green (unseasoned) wood, including oak, willow, hazel, chestnut and others as well as beech, I have an acquaintance in the UK who is a Bodger.

Though he makes his own seats and does the assembly.

I was fired for telling ICO of Serco track and trace data breach, claims sacked worker

Chris G

"Its a rabbit hole"

This particular rabbit hole appears to lead to a whole city, sounds like a good time to set an investigative reporter on to that one.

Anyone know if there are any biopharma companies among the quarter of a million or so dodgy outfits?

The world has a plastics shortage, and PC makers may be responding with a little greenwashing

Chris G

Re: The world has plenty of plastic

The problem with studies that make and publish opinions about who the top polluters are makes people who don't live in those places, complacent.

I have mentioned before, when sailing in the Med' and other places, if you are doing the morning watch from 04:00 to 08:00, the sea is often like a mirror, super calm, at that time you can see beads of plastic floating on the surface every couple of inches.

Multiply that up by the whole of the Med' let alone the rest of the oceans and how much plastic is on the surface alone? Then consider how much more has sunk and is slowly releasing a slew of unnatural chemical additives into the environment.

Bob mentioned he doubts the US and the West dump plastics in the oceans but when you allow for the fact that many garden and potting soils for drainage contain styrofoam beads along with all the other microplastics that drain into the rivers and oceans, then we in the West are far from not guilty.

Even the lint that is released from modern synthetic clothing amounts to significant amounts of unwanted plastic in the environment, then there is tyre and brake dust that accounts for over 550,000 tons of ocean micro plastic pollution each year according to the EPA. Presumably EPA figure are for the US only.

We all have a lot to answer for.

Chris G

Re: The world has plenty of plastic

Going by the carrier bag full of waste plastic generated by shopping for a week's worth of food for two of us, the World has way too much plastic rather than enough.

The same depackaging process produces almost as much carton.

All this just to get the product from the producer to the shop and then the consumer.

Obviously, when you actually use the goods there is another layer of plastic, carton or metal waste produced.

One of the worst plastic offenders is expanded polystyrene as it is difficult and costly to recycle, there needs to be research to either improve the recycling process for it or find an economical altrrnative.

Hubble memory errors persist despite NASA booting long-idle backup payload computer

Chris G

Re: Perhaps...

Precisely!

A well considered application of percussive maintenance is probably all that is stopping it from it's celestial peeping.

Green MSP calls on Scottish government to stop spending £4.7m a year with AWS after Amazon 'dumping' allegations

Chris G

Re: "we do not send items to landfill in the UK"

I am curious to know how much packing from Amazon goes to landfill each year, at some 2.5 billion packages due to ship this year, that is a lot of cardboard and bubble wrap.

Particularly when Amazon has a habit of sending tiny items in large boxes full of padding.

I think the various monopolies commissions around the world should get together and dismantle amazon and regulate the hell out of what is left.

AWS launches BugBust contest: Help fix a $100m problem for a $12 tshirt

Chris G

Re: I fixed $100 mil Amazon bug and all I got was this t-shirt.

But it is a premium tee shirt, it's getting five star reviews on Amazon.

Jailed for seven years: Cyber-crook who broke into Big Biz to steal bank card info for FIN7 super-gang

Chris G

If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

All the time the credit card industry is still making a profit, they won't condsider the system is broken.

What you need to know about Microsoft Windows 11: It will run Android apps

Chris G

Re: TPM 2.0 spec is less than two years old

If MS is indeed thinking, it may be thinking about the corporate funds they have invested with makers of the hardware required by Win11.

If I was Microshaft, that's what I would do.

Romance in 2021: Using creepware to keep tabs on your partner or ex. Aww

Chris G

Re: Potato, potatoe

I think for tracking it only needs something like an Apple Tile hidden in a ex/partner's car.

Stalker ware wise, enough people leave their phones lying around, I have no idea what is involved in the installation of stalker ware but if it is as simple as installing and app.....

Hungover Brits declare full English breakfast the solution to all their ills

Chris G

Re: Nothing better than the Texan cure of...

Most Brits will not recognise the biscuits and gravy you mention.

If I am in your neck of the woods, anything fitting the description of a Trucker's breakfast will do.

Stop. Look... Install Linux? The Reg solves Microsoft's latest Windows teaser

Chris G

Re: Aggregate audio device

Volume icon?

Oh, I thought that was a feature to see if you are paying attention.

I would like the indelible weather widget to bugger off though.

Whatever else they come up with, I suspect bloat and features you could never have imagined you needed will still be a thing.

Advert for coronavirus 'destroying' air 'purifier' exterminated by UK watchdog

Chris G

The article is wrong about rectal crystals, a lingam stone is more highly recommended for balancing and realigning chakras.

Lingam stones are elongated pebbles found in the Narmada holy river in India, brown, they look like a polished turd and are about as useful.

For a modest pecuniary donation to my personal chakra realignment fund, I can give you a therapeutic slap that will jolt enlightenment into every chakra at once.