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* Posts by Chris G

2840 posts • joined 18 Oct 2007

Drone crashes after operator failed to spot extra building site crane

Chris G
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Since cranes are generally 'up in the air' should they have some kind of licence from the CAA?

I do find it laughable that the operator turned up and flew without doing at least a cursory survey of the site, after all it is a place where 'things' are built, often upwards.

I don't know about now but in my day it took 40 hours minimum to get a PPL maybe they should look into standards for commercial drone pilots, 26 hours doesn't seem much.

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China's first space station to – ahem – de-orbit in late March

Chris G
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Re: per the piccy it seems to coast over Spain

Yep! Before the end of the month I am going to dig my old crash helmet out.

I don't suppose there's an app for satellite debris?

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No wonder Marvin the robot was miserable: AI will make the rich richer – and the poor poorer

Chris G
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Re: Great Depression?

You're right! Wall Street denizens throwing themselves out of skyscraper windows is clearly not 'agricultural innovation', neither is a (more than) statewide dustbowl caused by shortsighted farming practices.

Basically the paper carries nothing but good news for the likes of Trump and people like the Kochs.

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UK.gov puts Suffolk 7-year-old's submarine design into production

Chris G
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Re: I can tell them that for free

The term 'spotting' had me spluttering tea when I read it.

" Binoculars No1!"

"Yessir"

" I've just spotted an aircraft carrier but I can't seem to spot any aircraft aboard her."

"Nossir, they haven't inflated the dummies yet because it's windy and they keep blowing off the deck.

They don't actually have any real ones yet Sir."

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Astroboffins say our Solar System is a dark, violent, cosmic weirdo

Chris G
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Re: a dark, violent, cosmic weirdo

Hmm, I'm fairly sure I stayed in the house Monday afternoon.

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If you won't use your brain our machine will use it for you, Nissan tells drivers

Chris G
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Re: supercriticality

That's why the old Super Snipe had a boot big enough to fit a kitchen range into it, so that you could make a nice relaxing roadside cup of tea.

The closest thing to that afterward was the Rover Coupe, since then nothing.

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Chris G
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Rosy future

Will this technology be able to detect and react to a tall looney berating and beating it with a rose bush?

Or better still, detecting a car thief and talking him into nicking the Audi parked next door.

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The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?

Chris G
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Re: Opposite effect

I call that the 'Sadim effect' Midas in reverse, everything they get close to turns to sh*t.

The thingyverse often seems to install them in important places at crucial times, they are governed by he God Sod whose law is well known.

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Captain Morgan told off for Snapchat lens: That grog be aimed at kiddies

Chris G
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Aarr Purity me lass, what would ee loike fer yer birthday?

A parrot or a cockatoo?

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Chris G
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Re: Generation Y

Huh! You couldn't swim in our local canal the water was too thick, you could run across on the scum though.

We tried fishing there but the fish would steal the bait and straighten the hooks out.

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Brazil says it has bagged Royal Navy flagship HMS Ocean for £84m

Chris G
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Re: Basic arthimetic

@seven of five

" most of the time it will be completely undetectable in the air"

Is that because most of the time it will be in a workshop in Turkey having it's parts maintained and won't actually be in the air?

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You Wreck Me, Spotify: Tom Petty, Neil Young publisher launches $1.6bn copyright sueball

Chris G
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Old music biz saying

Where there's a bit, there's a writ.

Often a case will be allowed to ' mature ' before it is actually brought to a court in order to add value.

One thing is sure, no case is ever for a trivial amount, witness the hundreds of specialty lawyers who make a living from music and can't play a note.

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Beyond code PEBCAK lies KMACYOYO, PENCIL and PAFO

Chris G
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Not IT

In the '80s I worked in the workshop for a friend who ran a large Garden Machinery company. Every so often, somone would walk down the alley into the yard with either a couple of carrier bags or cardboard boxes. It usually turned out that they contained a dissembled mower or chainsaw that somehow would not go back together.

The first phrase was usually 'I am a mechanic but' or in the case of the ladies ' My husband is a mechanic but'.

This was such a common occurance that there would be a cry of 'CBC' Carrier Bag Customer and all the fitters would run out to the back yard to avoid the FU in the bag (or box).

They would be the same customers who would at length, explain to you what you had done wrong in a winter service that meant they were unable to start their machine in the Spring, it couldn't possibly be stale petrol, OH NO!.

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Magic Leap blows our mind with its incredible technology... that still doesn't f**king exist

Chris G
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Trip to Paris?

The level he's working at, Abovitz is up there with Victor Lustig, he sold the Eiffel Tower. Twice!

Lustig also sold a 'Money printing machine' clearly Abovitz has one.

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Chris G
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Re: Magic Leap of Bullshit

I am lefthanded and I use a screwdriver in my left hand, all screwdrivers are potentially lefthanded and left handed threads(anti clockwise to do them up) are useful.

Change of analogy necessary.

But I agree with you, I bet they could sell 'How to con $2billion smackeroonies' as a PDF for $10 and make a mint.

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Fridge killed my baby? Mag-field radiation from household stuff 'boosts miscarriage risk'

Chris G
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If

If these studies are ratified and it turns out that EMF or MF (still not clear on that) is bad for you, then you can say goodbye to the futher develpoment of the 'Smart Home'™.

Add to that the need to surround your appliances with superconductors to block the MF emanating from them, the outside of your fridge could be much colder than the inside and it's gonna make ironing a shirt a bit of a bugger.

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Chris G
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Re: Danger...

Ohm my God, I don't know Watt to do!

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Facebook: Who needs millennials? The cops love us more than ever!

Chris G
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Re: At the A/C, ""It's a mystery why it's failing.

"Social Media: Just Say No."

Sounds like a Tee shirt to me.

I might get one printed up.

This thing about wanting a peek into your social media accounts is like the old thing of needing reference letters but on a much larger scale, I don't really do anything that is likely to get the question asked but should that happen, I think FECK OFF!! would probably be the most barely adequate answer.

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Kent woman to season festive dinner with her mother's ashes

Chris G
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Re: Errm...

I think more on the Death Metal side to be honest.

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Chris G
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Re: Um-Yum?

Blast! Beaten to it again, have an upvote!

Ya no mami! We've eaten her!

Regarding the liquidising solution perhaps they could throw some yeast in the mix and drink to the departed's health a few weeks later.(may have to add sugar for some folk)

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Telly boffin Professor Heinz Wolff has died

Chris G
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Re: Great Egg Race

Here's one to watch, one of the teams is three guys from ICL.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pvf6Xl9hQE

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Chris G
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Re: Great Egg Race

Just put in 'The Great egg Race' on you tube, quite a few there.

RIP to a charming, funny and very clever man with a love of life and knowledge.

I am fairly sure he was the model for the Tefal egghead ads in the '80s.

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Irony's lost on old Pope Francis: Pontiff decrees fake news a 'serious sin'

Chris G
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Sooo.. Parables are out then?

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Google asks browser rival Vivaldi to post uninstall instructions

Chris G
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Re: Step one

You can always run Tor on an android to anonymise yourself, Ihaven't tried it but have a look at ;

https://www.dailydot.com/layer8/anonymous-android-apps-orbot-orwall-orweb/

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'I knew the company was doomed after managers brawled in a biker bar'

Chris G
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Re: Explosive

Did you know that half a pound of sodium dropped into a toilet will dry out the 'U' bend, crack the pan and cause an entire school to be evacuated because of the smell of cooking poo?

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Chris G
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Re: Fist fights...

" I ended up getting hammered with the cast."

By the director or courtesy of a barman?

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Chris G
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Re: It's all fun and games until someone's toes freeze solid and shatter,

"sewed it to his jeans "

Would have made more sense if he had superglued it to his forehead.

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Chris G
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Re: "and gloves were forbidden"

I was in the 5th form out country pubbing with some mates one weekend. We walked into a favourite pub and there was my form and physics Master sitting in full Morris Man regalia with a pint in his hand, he just nodded to me so I bought him a pint, a favour which he duly returned, he just grinned and said 'Don't I know you from somewhere?'

He was one of the best teachers I ever met, he could teach physics ,chemistry and maths, he was also an Oxford rugby blue and being a Morris Man could drink ale at Olympic level.

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Poor NASA sods sent to spend Xmas in Antarctic ahead of satellite launch

Chris G
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Simples! Tie a tiger to the box, then nobody will look in the box.

Shirley, if Polar Bears don't live on both poles they are misnamed and should be called Arctic Bears?

Well, apart from the ones that live in Africa.

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Facebook confesses: Facebook is bad for you

Chris G
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Re: Opiate of the idiots

I wonder if there is money to made writing a book 12 steps to quitting FB/Twatter/Intsagrim etc?

What would the 'Higher Power' be for a social media addict? Perhaps talking to a real person instead of an avatar.

It's kind of ironic that something called Social media makes people stay indoors or shut out their surroundings and the people they are with so that they can socialise.

Where I work is on the Sunset strip in Ibiza, in the summer on any day you can see tables full of friends sitting on the terraces drinking and having fun, not with each other but squinting at their phone screens while Facebooking, Twatting and texting other people who they are not with.

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Chris G
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LCD

My impression from the couple of times I have actually seen a FB page is that everyone seems to be brought down to the lowest common denominator in terms of posting content so I'm not surprised that people feel worse. 10 minutesof moronic drivel is enough for anyone let alone the hours a day that some seem to indulge in.

Given that FB is social media and the comments section of El Reg could be considered similar, what are the effects of ten minutes of comment reading for most people?

I don't think I feel worse but that may be the wine.

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Russia could chop vital undersea web cables, warns Brit military chief

Chris G
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Re: Stay calm and lay more cable...

You're right I have been saying for years that we should build a tunnel under the Atlantic in addition to running cables, we could use a vacuum and send capsules down it at high speed and call it hyper ....something.

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Exploding alien bodies' space death-rays gave Earth its radiation cloak

Chris G
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"The gang's work shows that the particles are formed by deadly cosmic rays fired from supernova explosions."

I am getting tired of journalists' overuse of the word deadly, cosmic rays are certainly dangerous if you wander into the path of enough of them, but then so are buses, cricket balls and buffalo. They can all be deadly in certain circumstances but generally are not.

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Auto auto fleets to dodge British potholes in future

Chris G
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Internet of Transport

I don't think auto autos automatically reporting would make any difference, I'm pretty sure the local council here have at least one large pothole on permanent rental.

It was just outside a bar I pass every morning for about 18 months then the hole suddenly disappeared only to turn up at the next major junction 2 Km down the road, exactly the same shape and depth. I'm certain they had just picked it up and dumped it down again just to look as though they are doing something.

There are several similar holes that seem to move around the area without any other real work ever being done to the roads, most of them are so worn the surface is like glass.

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Why is Wikipedia man Jimbo Wales keynoting a fake news conference?

Chris G
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A man with either a strong sense of irony or thick skinned and an idiot.

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Millions of moaners vindicated: Man flu is 'a thing', says researcher, and big TVs are cure

Chris G
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Caring and sharing

In Spain if you want time off for a cold or flu you have to go to the quack for a certificate, often the doctor gives out prescription s for antibiotics. This action helps the evolution of things like MRSA but has zero effect on a virus.

Most Spanish people, even if they are off work will continue to walk around shopping and what have you, while walking around they don't use tissues or a hanky they cough and sneeze all over anyone within range, then go crazy for flu jabs when an epidemic is reported.

I work mostly on my own and always work through a virus if I can, my thinking is, why should something so small that I can't even see it with my glasses on, beat me and keep me from doing what I want?

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Shady US sigint base upgrade marred by stolen photograph

Chris G
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Re: When I were a lad.

In the early nineties I used to keep my horse next door to some Raytheon offices and labs, one day I saw a bunch of guys panting hardware in the ground along the fence line. I walked over to be most and asked what the gadgets were, One of the security guys told me they were hypersensitive geophones that could pick up anyone crossing the fence line or walking close to it.

Needless to say after that we regularly galloped up and down the fence line to keep them amused.

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Tired of despairing of Trump and Brexit? Why not despair about YouTube stars instead?

Chris G
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Re: Despair over Brexit and Trump?

@ Haku. Transcript of one of Trump's speeches

Do think Google Translate could do anything with that to help me see the wisdom of the man?

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Chris G
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Re: If you think that is stupid

Without having read all of the (Currently 85) comments, I think it's clear that in an effort to simultaneously improve the 'Tubes quality and make some money at the same time, El Reg needs to begin Vlogging.

Of course you may have to dumb it down a bit and show the Reg journos doing stupid things in the office but think of the money.

I was thinking of making some videos to upload, showing me screaming at and insulting different vegetables each day ( I don't like veg'). The videos would finish with me murdering vegetables with a hammer.

Do you think it could catch on?

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AI researcher pulls best Blue Steel in Yves Saint Laurent fragrance ad

Chris G
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allthecoolnames, damn I was going to say that.

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YouTuber cements head inside microwave oven

Chris G
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Inexperienced

Clearly these clowns have little experience of home decorating and the consequent filling that requires.

Polyfilla is made with Portland cement and limestone, the limestone gives it a degree of elasticity so that it sands well but resists knocks that would crack and break cement. That makes it much more difficult to break up a large chunk of it, particularly when contained in a tin box.

For some humans, having a bigger brain than other primates just enables them to feck up with a little more imagnation.

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Elon Musk finally admits Tesla is building its own custom AI chips

Chris G
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Re: All i hear is...

"Hypocrite or complete idiot."?

I'm going for Cyborg!

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Euro Patent Office commanded to reinstate 'Nazi judge' it attacked

Chris G
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Re: Labo/ur

Yank spell checker, plus why give a damn it's Yanklish!

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Chris G
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Labo/ur

Labor is spelt correctly for its point of origin; Kieron McCarthy in SF.

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Europe Commission thunders: Tech firms must do more to remove extremist content

Chris G
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AIEE

Artificial Intelligence Extremist Extirpation

Of course the players he is encouraging to help with AI are the ones talking about employing more meatsacks to deal with the same problems.

And, as mentioned above, once every company is looking at everything their subscribers are doing and saying, their lives will be less than a warrant away from any who can ask for it. (Except for the UK where they can approve their own requests)

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Facebook Messenger ... for who now? Zuck points his digital crack at ever younger kids

Chris G
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Re: OK...

Exactly!

I was wondering how Colin Furze came into this.

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Quentin Tarantino in talks to make Star Trek movie

Chris G
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Re: few substances stronger than alien liqueurs

Alien licker?

I could post a link but it would definitely be NSFW.

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Investigatory Powers Act: You're not being paranoid. UK.gov really is watching you

Chris G
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Possibly the pig could undergo some plastic surgery and maybe even have some parts moved around but slaughter is out of the question, we should all consider ourselves watched.

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