* Posts by Andrew Moore

1720 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Mar 2007

Royal Navy won't fight pirates 'in case they claim asylum'

Andrew Moore

The solution...

Just let it be known up and down the straits that all pirate vessels will be scuppered and that it's the responsibility of the crew to ensure they have enough life jackets available.

El Reg dresses The IT Crowd

Andrew Moore

Season 2 wasn't too bad...

It gave us Gay: The Gay Musical. Problem was I think the rest of the series was overshadowed by that one. Plus Denholms son is no replacement for Denholm.

eBay: don't come on our US site without protection

Andrew Moore

OH MY GOD. HAVE YOU HEARD??????

EBAY KILLS BABIES WITH A MINCER!!!!

Nokia creates Indoor Positioning

Andrew Moore

It wouldn't be difficult

You could ape exactly the way GNSS systems currently work. And without the need to derive out some of the non-dispersive errors it should be pretty accurate.

All the system would need to do is rewrite the almanacs to include stationary ground-based transmitters but I'm pretty sure that's already included in the protocol.

Superfluid leak downs LHC for months

Andrew Moore

Leaking helium...

Reminds me of:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/astronauts_suffer_agonizing_high

Danish court jails six in terror T-shirts case

Andrew Moore

The Americans did it first...

...with Noraid supplying funds to Northern Irish paramilitaries. They had T-Shirts too.

Are today's developers more creative?

Andrew Moore

Hmmmmmm...

Creative possibly in the "look and feel" department but not as much so in the background process. I think a lot of bloat has appeared because today's programmers have access to a lot of resources (CPU speed, RAM, hard disk space) which just wasn't around 20 years ago (hell, even 5 years ago). Optimisation seems to be a thing of the past.

Wall Street shudders under Lehman collapse

Andrew Moore
Coat

The real story...

A hunt is on for two individuals; one a former employee and the other described as a "coloured gentleman", who have been implicated in the collapse which allegedly involved a wager to the value of one dollar.

The Lehman Brothers, Randolph and Mortimer, are currently unavailable for comment.

Gemalto glues DVD onto a SIM

Andrew Moore

Hmmmmmm...

That doesn't look like it would spin too well in a DVD drive.

OMFG, what have you done?

Andrew Moore

Errrrrr.....

There's somehing different, I can't quite put my finger on what it is though...

BOFH: Back in the saddle

Andrew Moore

Ah memories...

Reminds me of the time I came across an unknown length of Cat5. Couldn't work out where it went or what it was connected to- all I did know was that I hadn't installed it. Anyway I cut the cable and waited for the complaints- which told me exactly what the cable was being used for.

Parents plant spyware to snare sex predator

Andrew Moore

@Pierre

'but it seems they took a huge chance of "loosing" her'

Maybe they'll tighten her afterwards.

Brit trio convicted for liquid bomb terror plot

Andrew Moore
Thumb Down

Heathrow

I was recently going through Heathrow when a foreign student made the unfortunate mistake of passing his rucksack through the X-ray machine. Unfortunate because he had a half empty bottle of coke in it. Suddenly some security idiot from one of the other lines vaults over the divider, screaming "LIQUID! LIQUID!"

Way to go with the over-reaction there Captain Cretin.

Segway shock army to invade Department of Transport

Andrew Moore

@Anonymous Coward

"So it's ok then to mow down smart arse pedestrians who step/jump into the road and cycle lanes right in front of me then? :)"

I did last Friday- a woman stepped into the cycle lane without checking if it was in use and I ploughed her out of it. She was most apologetic and left with a nice black tyre mark up her nice cream slacks.

[Yes, I did brake and even though my bike has disk brakes there was no way I was going to be able to stop in time]

World goes mad as Bill and Jerry eat churros

Andrew Moore

Wow

Unfunny piled on top of unfunny. This sucks as much as Vista

Facebook - The Movie! Exclusive storyboard peek

Andrew Moore

Don LaFontaine...

Come back, we need you NOW!!!

"In a world..."

Burned by Chrome - Fire put out

Andrew Moore
IT Angle

Burning Chrome

William Gibson wrote a short story about a high class prositute and brothel owner who was taken down by hackers.

The name of the prostitute: Chrome...

Andrew Moore

MS Passport

I remember the same condition appearing in Microsoft Passport shortly after they bought HotMail.

Beeb to resurrect Reggie Perrin

Andrew Moore

The only way I see this working...

...is if it is somehow a continuation of the original (and not the awful Legacy of RP). Clunes plays a character who is inspired by the story of Perrin and decides that he is going to do the same thing. This would allow the series to draw parallels between the two eras. Clunes is a half decent actor though nowhere near the calibre of Leonard Rossiter.

And to those who call for the return of Raymond Baxter (sadly departed) and Johnny Ball (now shilling Nintendo DS's with his daughter) I'd like to see the return of James Burke.

Joss-sticks increase cancer risk: Official

Andrew Moore

Whereas...

...Joss Stone gives you ear cancer and Joss Whedon gives you eye cancer.

Million bank details sold on eBay

Andrew Moore

Fire him.

If any IT Manager I employed bought hardware through ebay I would fire him.

Intel's Atom laptots 'are here'

Andrew Moore

Dadi Perlmutter

now there's a name you just have to love...

Apple preps patch for 'problematic 3G' iPhone?

Andrew Moore

hmmmmmm

I hope it does better than this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaN1Nz1Dyls

French cough in to filthy restaurants

Andrew Moore

In defense of french food...

but when it is done well there is nothing in the world to match it.

Harness XML with PHP 5 extensions

Andrew Moore

Timely...

I needed to do something like this today and this article came along exactly at the right time.

The IT Crowd goes west

Andrew Moore

Gay

The gay musical.

Rave reviews include:

"Not as long as other musicals"

"Tolerable"

Paris Hilton - the compromised candidate

Andrew Moore

I think this sums up my position perfectly:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/local_idiot_to_post_comment_on

Lateral thought saves sizzling server

Andrew Moore

Remember the BOFH gene???

It was discussed here a lot a few weeks back. One of the gifts the gene gives you is the ability to feel heat and hear fans that are about to go pop.

Back in the early days, one of my main pieces of diagnostic kit was a max/min thermometer...

Ubuntu man challenges open source to out-pretty Apple

Andrew Moore

@It's the little things that need fixing

Joe hit the nail right on the head. It's time to drop the stupid naming conventions and the forced acronyms. To me Gimp is a character from Pulp Fiction not a graphics package. Same to 99% of the rest of the planet (well those who've seen Pulp Fiction). Likewise I will not use a Word Processor called "AssRape" or a Spreadsheet called "SheepShagger". And any company that uses the following naming convention: [colour][animal] can fuck right off too.

Climate protestor claims glued self to UK Prime Minister

Andrew Moore
Happy

@TeeCee

>"Let's see, we build more airports and fly more planes. The effect is that more people will glue themselves to Gordon Brown. If we build enough airports and fly enough planes, pretty soon we won't be able to see him at all."

I have this vision of Gordon being rolled around, Katamari Damashi style.

Wii aids family togetherness, report claims

Andrew Moore

It's fine...

Until your six year old throws her Wii Remote at you when you beat her at Mart Cart (again).

Brits more hooked on mobile tech than Yanks are

Andrew Moore

Extremely old news...

I remember being in San Diego back in 1999 when one of my american colleagues pulled a humongous brick of a mobile and made a call. After he finished I asked him what the hell that was. He then went on to explain to me (in the simplest terms possible) the concept of cell phones and how you can make phone calls now anywhere and without wires. "No" I said, pointing to his brick phone "What the hell is that?" and pulled out my mobile (an Ericsson SH888 if I remember correctly) which was about 10 times smaller than the device he was using. He shut up after that.

Later on that day I used it to receive email- Which really pissed him off ("Oh, don't you have mobile email in America? How strange...")

BOFH: The PFY wants a reference

Andrew Moore

Brilliant

"Richard Stallman is talking next week and I've been having some insomnia problems recently."

@scott: "WHO would nick the Mac book [sic] and feel?????"

Apple.

Phorm protestors picket BT AGM

Andrew Moore

Well done...

...and thanks for the link to dephormation.org.uk

Street-savvy Microsoft tries to pop the pimply face of piracy

Andrew Moore

Ah nostalgia...

I remember a report from over 20 years ago stating that computer game piracy at the time may have hurt the industry in the short term but was a great boon in the long term because it argued that most of the piracy was being done by kids but once the kids grew up and started earning money they started buying legitimate copies of software (the same went for home taping instead of buying LPs/cassettes).

Google will anonymize YouTube data before sharing with Viacom

Andrew Moore

Hmmmmmm...

I notice there's no ruling on how the data is to be given to Viacom. Youtube should just print it all and hand them the printout. They could also make an environmental issue out of it- "Viacoms demands for this information lead to two forrests being destroyed..."

Barclays to scrap 1,800 UK tech jobs

Andrew Moore

So the simpliest backlash...

...would be for anyone who has an account with Barclays to close it and transfer their business elsewhere.

After all, if Barclays are not going to put money in UK tech workers pockets why should we put money in Barclays shareholders/board of directors pockets.

Ryanair wins German court victory in screen-scraping injunction

Andrew Moore

Remember...

Only Ryanair are allowed to overcharge for their shitty service.

The Top Ten 3G iPhone beaters

Andrew Moore
Alert

What???

No Sony Ericsson phones made the cut. That can't be right.

Rabbit murderer stalks Ruhr Valley

Andrew Moore

An idea...

Maybe it's time to protect the rabbits by keeping them in home-made underground bunkers...

How to be an instant Web me-2.0 developer

Andrew Moore

This is not funny...

I know from painful experience how true this all is.

BOFH: The admin gene

Andrew Moore

What I love...

is when you fix a problem by suposibly doing what the user has been doing for the last half an hour (which I rarely believe) and the user then asks me "so what was I doing that was different?"

How the hell do I know that- I've got the admin gene not the telepathy gene.

And I have LLI- the opposite of Aspergers.

Swedish customs pull Frenchman with two asses

Andrew Moore

Alan Moore rides again

Wasn't Abdelaziz a 2000AD Future Shocks character- The Man with Two Brains??? As usual some other idiot has got hold of another excellent Alan Moore idea and rewritten it- This time as The Man with Two Asses.

Who will be the next Doctor?

Andrew Moore

You've got to remember

RTD is very fond of the Reset Button. Remember last years cliff-hanger were everything just returned to normal?I'm expecting more of the same this year (with the same shite dialog)

Available to buy: your own frakkin' 7ft Cylon

Andrew Moore

@Jeffrey Nonken

>"And while we're splitting hairs, "merkin" is a pubic wig."

We know...

Maxdata goes titsup

Andrew Moore
Thumb Down

@Hans-Peter Lackner

Last time I bought from Dell (10 PCs for our training room) they were delivered without keyboards. 24 hours later the keyboards arrived but were the wrong ones (PS2s not USBs). 2 days later another batch of keyboards arrived this time they were the heavy "clack key" types instead of the slim boards we'd ordered. Finally a week after we had taken delivery we finally got the keyboards we ordered...

...we switched on the PCs and found them loaded with Windows NT instead of Windows 2000.

Andrew Moore

Pity

We had standardised on Maxdata over the last few years and I found the kit very reliable and the after sales support excellent.

Cisco ignites the web via WAAS and deformed arms

Andrew Moore
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Bloody Americans and their acronym overloading

Bad enough that they "overload" MSG (Madison Square Gardens) and ET (Entertainment Tonight) but now Wide Area Augmentation System.

Farewell then, Symbian

Andrew Moore
Unhappy

And farewell too to Psion

The last shreds have been picked off the carcass.

EU Commission plots to end rip-off Britain online

Andrew Moore

@Steve Renouf

Wrong in this instance. There would be no problem if there was a straight sterling to euro exchange (plus or minus a few points). But in the instances I referenced the traders have a differing euro price versus sterling price (not set by the credit card systems)