* Posts by Marvin the Martian

1513 publicly visible posts • joined 2 Mar 2007

Official: Apple iPhone is a chick magnet

Marvin the Martian
Stop

Shallow? No, stupid options.

How is preferring a guy to have an iphone shallower than preferring one without an iphone?

Responding to this type of questions may be a sign of limited insight of course, then you're right.

'iPhone 4G' loser outed

Marvin the Martian
WTF?

How does that work?

How is naming the guy making firing less probable? It's obvious he broke all kinds of secrecy clauses, and everybody knows, so not firing him tells all those still working that they can be as loose as they want and so even opens avenues for espionage (say you lose a device to an interested party, keep Apple job, be paid for "losing" half a year later --- safe!).

This has nothing to do with "chequebook journalism"; naming names yes/no is obviously independent of paying for sources yes/no.

Marvin the Martian
Stop

Give or take?

If you find stuff like that, you'd normally give it to the bar owner, as you have other things to do than hang around waiting for someone to get back to you.

My experience with London bars and restaurants has however been that the staff see it as a tip and loot it (experience is 2x "disappeared" when definitely handed in, 1x returned).

So with a working phone it seems obvious: go to most commonly used contact in the call list & ask "whose phone is this? tell him to come get in bar X" and/or see where the browser history takes you (prompted names at a gmail or hotmail login page, facebook app autologin, etc) to email the relevant blighter, and only then leave it.

Apple sued over iPhone aqua sensors

Marvin the Martian

@NRT / Toiletphone

OK, the phone still works but the relevant question is: was the sensor tripped? I think we should be told.

M

Election promises: Wi-Fi chain gangs and maximum wage

Marvin the Martian
Stop

Why bother looking at the UKIP manifesto?

Lord Pearson definitely didn't --- http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_2010/8631146.stm --- even while happily appearing on the Beeb to be interviewed about his manifesto.

Veteran UK fraud fighter 'BobBear' retires

Marvin the Martian
Dead Vulture

I'd like to see his job advertisement.

"Position: fraud sheriff. Hours: 12--15/day, 7/week, 364/years. Salary: £0".

Sad day... I thought services were supposed to be cut after May 6!?

Dell Inspiron One 19 Touch touchscreen all-in-one

Marvin the Martian
Paris Hilton

There's a question mark provided.

Hint: question marks come hand in hand with confusion.

Example with solution: "Are we learning anything from the screenshots in the article we didn't know from the screen resolution? What's the point? I'm confused here."

Epic Fail: How the photographers won, while digital rights failed

Marvin the Martian

Incorrect.

While academically UK "professor" tends to stand for full professor instead of associate or assistant professor, it is not a legally protected term (while PhD or Dr for example is). So anyone can call themselves professor...

[Example from Holland: the populist politician Pim Fortuyn had taught at a uni once on a blue monday (as lector I think), and has later referred to himself as professor.]

El Reg PARIS team unboxes some toys

Marvin the Martian
Paris Hilton

"like somewhere in spain"

I'm being obtuse I guess, but it starts off saying "Castille y Leon -- wellcome to Avila"?

Icelandic ash cloud to keep UK skies closed 'til Saturday

Marvin the Martian
Megaphone

Shhh.... Don't tell those island dwellers.

They haven't been an island for a while, but have failed to notice.

Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased

Marvin the Martian
Paris Hilton

@Ed Blackshaw

Well, they asked some mules but as expected they stubbornly refused. So they just told the sheep to get on with it, and they complied.

Angry Romanian hackers deface Telegraph for Top Gear toss

Marvin the Martian
Troll

Lies!

Soon you'll claim that both Romany and Romanian are different from Roman. Stop making stuff up!

One fifth of humans say aliens walk among us

Marvin the Martian
Welcome

Depends on phrasing by said monkeys.

If you ask people whether there's "aliens amongst us, illegal or otherwise" you should get about a 100% score; shorten it to "aliens amongst us" and you should get about 15% (from the slightly-autistic, literal-parsing amongst us --- mostly techies and mathsy ones, call 'em RegReaders).

Damn ambiguous English language. With XKCD and using the Groucho club logic, I'd consider learning Lojban [a constructed language with no ambiguities] but then I'd be only able to speak with the kind of saddos that learn Lojban.

Skewing statistics: Booze, money and sex

Marvin the Martian
Troll

And your point is?

And how does this differ from anywhere in the past? Oh, there's an attempt at presenting facts that support the views of the lawmakers. As opposed to before where they didn't bother.

At least now you can point out possible gaps or contradictions, instead of hearing "there's no society" followed by sincere efforts of making that true, by the iron lady.

I see you have an axe to grind and hence you employ the techniques you accuse "them" of. There are enough UK inhabitants with less than 8000 to their name, namely those you argued that have more --- inhabiting a council house is not a cashable asset. It's like having a family heirloom that you may never sell; good to have but no cash. The homeless don't. Any non-priority case (read: single male) for council flat in regions with waiting lists --- hundreds of thousands live with one of their parents.

Harmonisation is good. Or do you love getting spurious fines on any holiday in Spain, say because you have no safety vest in the car, no first aid kit, and no sticker proclaiming the country of origin? Ah no, I see, you're British so you love the fact that your legal identity is based on gas bills, and with some efforts and a few months a whole fake identity can be built from a gym membership.

PCC bares teeth at bloggers

Marvin the Martian
Megaphone

PCC weak even in its telling off.

"provocative and conducive to discussion," to be read in the same sense as Nigel Farrage claiming he was having a "lively debate" when he was ranting in front of an embarassed audience.

Royal Navy starts work on new, pointless frigates

Marvin the Martian
Thumb Up

There's other problems.

What you don't understand is that this frigate addresses another problem that you skipped in your list --- the grave lack of helicopters.

Instead of the more-effective merchantman + say 6 helicopters, there's this with only 1 heli: pronto! 5 helicopters more for Afghanistan! Profit!

(OK, the navy will have to lease those to the army, but still.)

Trustpilot prunes florid iFlorist tributes

Marvin the Martian
Paris Hilton

Dahliapoly

"iFlorist only place for beautiful flowers like dhalia"

I wasn't aware that iFlorist held a monopoly on (presumably) Dahlias? Are those in my garden thus illegal, and probably EULA breakages, or are they the seeds of my sales empire once iFlorist inevitably goes bankrupt?

Turk unwraps doner kebab robot

Marvin the Martian
Stop

"Lethal dose of salt and saturated fat."

Maybe not: as the aim is to cut out the sweatiness of the donor (or however a doner-maker is called technically), the salt content may finally drop to safer levels. And probably that delicious flavour is gone as well.

Woman finds Romanian living in shed

Marvin the Martian
Welcome

Why didn't she charge him rent?

If she'd charge him rent, he could keep an eye open for intruders.

Alternatively, the local constabulary should hire and train an extra cop (and raise the council tax, explicitely mentioning the nice lady's address), to sit on a chair in front of her shed. I'm sure it will be a popular job, possibly a fair fin-de-carriere for older, slightly-rheumatic bobbies.

In both cases her privacy is a bit diminished.

Carphone Warehouse splits with self

Marvin the Martian
Headmaster

I had no idea.

9 weeks training? Can you verify that? It seemed more like 9hours-using-only-single-syllable-words last time I spoke to one.

Toshiba Satellite T130

Marvin the Martian
Badgers

Portable

"Girth there is, mainly thanks to the battery, which bulges out from the base, but not so as to impede the laptop's portability."

Anything not nailed down is portable. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.

Lords: Analogue radio must die

Marvin the Martian
Headmaster

It's mislabeled.

It should actually read "90% of UK people gets regularly subjected to radio".

If it wasn't for cab driver's radios (instead of decent records --- even if it's not my taste, please play something personal instead of charts drivel interspersed with jingles), mates' failure to play mp3s on car stereo, and clothes stores trying to annoy me, I'd also be in the radio free fraction.

N00b spooks to be pensioned off

Marvin the Martian
Headmaster

No it's not

"The Cheltenham-based agency is opening its doors to BBC radio tomorrow, partly in an apparent effort to attract more recruits."

No it's not --- the place was plastered with signs "22--24feb: BBC radio here so only have UNCLASSIFIED conversation in corridors". Transmission is indeed tomorrow.

Radio lobby 'hides' 2m analogue receiver sales

Marvin the Martian
Stop

Switch over now, for all I care.

I keep getting radios for free with other stuff, analogue ones, yet I haven't listened to radio in 7 years. So is it fair to count those towards making a decision about what the plebs wants? Yes, a mate's car radio has occasionally played (and annoyed me with its jingles), but switch off analogue and he'd have played mp3s or cds.

I think they are right to a large extend in discounting piggybacking, unwanted radios from mobiles and so forth.

MSI tells 97,000 customers to 'Read The F***ing Manual'

Marvin the Martian
Megaphone

Yes.

But not all the people all the time!

Kit attacks Microsoft keyboards (and a whole lot more)

Marvin the Martian
Stop

That doesn't count as moderately remote!

75m in-house counts as a freakin' big house!

Steve Jobs spotted not hating Eric Schmidt

Marvin the Martian
Stop

Hm...

Not on his 1$/year salary he can't.

Vast 'Cloud 9' sky-wedding balloon destroyed in Vegas prang

Marvin the Martian
Flame

It's not really the same.

"We're gonna fly over Vegas with the whole party!"

(crash!)

"Change of plans, we'll pet baby zebras!"

Don't expect much rejoicing.

Council deforests beauty spot to combat dogging

Marvin the Martian
Flame

The only good tree is a dead tree

Health & Safety risks, every last one of 'em. Start grinding!

Polaroid enthusiasts unveil new instant film

Marvin the Martian
Boffin

Selling useless stuff

So you also suspect this whole project was set up by an unemployed shelf maker?

Chinese gamer survives knife through skull

Marvin the Martian
Dead Vulture

"Warning: graphic images"

What were you thinking when writing "warning: graphic images"? Are there non-graphic ones? Shouldn't you write this before all non-ASCII illustrations then, at the very very least?

US couple jailed for TV shoplifting brag

Marvin the Martian
FAIL

What they get in return?

I'm shocked they didn't succeed in looting anything beyond the three self-help books. Seems low payoff for a wasted half-day.

Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

Marvin the Martian
Troll

On balance

The root problem seems to be council houses built from cardboard.

So why don't they all get together and sue the council for soundproofing? Much better for cummunity spirit, etc.

Botnet pierces Microsoft Live through audio captchas

Marvin the Martian
Stop

Correction

People gave something they claimed to be their password, in exchange for real chocolate.

Blighty gives Street View the bum's rush

Marvin the Martian
Coffee/keyboard

Sniff.

Marky, you bring back sweet sweet memories.

Google ratchets interweb 3D on Windows

Marvin the Martian
Megaphone

And another thing....

Those damned colours everywhere on the webs! Damned resource hogs. Whole bytes for nothing. 16 colours was good enough for my father, so they'll damn well be enough for anyone. (As if any man can even name more than 16.)

LHC boffins crank beams to 3.5 TeV redline

Marvin the Martian

750 tonnes of concrete

I'm not convinced a chunk of 750 tonnes of concrete would stop a 12knot aircraft carrier?

One in four UK schoolkids admits hacking

Marvin the Martian
Dead Vulture

The UK, lowering standards since 1066.

"We're all hackers now" is the message.

'Racist' job ad sparks investigation

Marvin the Martian
Welcome

Local languages?

Like English? It's not like there's much of another lingua franca in indian IT.

The communication problems stem from mentality differences more than language differences (compare with a japanese person avoiding at all cost to say "no" and instead politely making all kind of sideways suggestions --- you feel they wasted your time when after endless struggle there's still no progress, they feel you're harassing them for something they made clear they can't deliver to you).

So if they'd written "local indian experience preferred" they'd be OK legally and practically --- they would get what they want, now including the possibility of a white english guy who worked there for long enough to be able to manage them.

El Reg insults 'millions of Irish Catholics'

Marvin the Martian
Dead Vulture

"Why would anyone take notice of such dickage?"

Feck, I'm even wondering why I'm reading these comments.

Marvin the Martian
Pint

Nope that's April 30

Queen's day is the height of oranginess in Holland --- the last queen's birthday.

Apple's Mac - the ghostbuster's choice

Marvin the Martian
Troll

So you're trying to say...

It's not overpriced hence? Hm.

Sony Bloggie

Marvin the Martian
Pint

A comment as pointless as the device itself.

Excellent, well played Sir.

Facebook users warned over stalk-my-profile scam

Marvin the Martian
IT Angle

Vetting versus nannying

Pot/kettle is indeed metaphore (as the point is that those are the same, not opposites). But it's the demand that FaceBook do more and AppStore do less...

The typical situation is that people shout there's too much rules and regulation and supervision as long as it gets into their way, and when things go pearshaped they shout there's not enough police and supervision and punishment. I have little patience with either shout as long as they're not backed up with a detailed plan to balance both sides, with a view to their costs and implementation (and they never are). (You want to lock up more people? Please pay more then to house + feed those.)

That said, I think Apple gets more flak than deserved, and are just not nannying enough: they should ban the "porn" apps from all sources, not just the small ones who don't make other things.

Study shows gaming can hinder reading, writing progress

Marvin the Martian
IT Angle

What a disappointment.

I'm shocked, shocked. I was certain that consoles produced time; no reason a minute taken by the console would mean a minute less elsewhere, right?

Shuttleworth heir opens up on Ubuntu biz

Marvin the Martian
Troll

OK, other editorial issue

"judging by its employee headcount, Canonical is growing like crazy" should be corrected to "Canonical's employee headcount is growing like crazy" --- the first is a guess the second a factual statement.

Street View plays spot the army numberplate

Marvin the Martian
WTF?

This would mean...

This would mean that all tourist plates don't get blurred, because they don't have standard UK lettering/colouring? Even if their homecountries have G StreetView with blurring and all?

Man gets 30 months in prison for taping nude sportscaster

Marvin the Martian
Paris Hilton

I'm wondering about the logistics

So explain please

(1) How do you get an adjacent room 2 our of 3 times, without a clear reason (like travelling together). "I'm her agent" shouldn't work if you book and pay on totally different dates.

(2) When I'm in my hotel room, the fraction of time I'm naked in front of the peephole is quasi nil. Maybe the odd passage between shower and bed, yes, but the beds most certainly aren't in view of the door. So how many hours as the guy been standing at the door, taping? What about witnesses?

I think we need to be told. All in all there must be some talent/intelligence involved here, and hours of persevering work. Maybe not enough to deserve to sell it as you suggest... But it would be interesting info, to avoid similar stuff happening.

/Paris 'cos confused + hotel

'The LHC will implode the Moon or PUT OUT THE SUN'

Marvin the Martian
Unhappy

Spectacle will be lacking

If the black hole escapes, the chance of it striking the moon or sun are just ridiculously tiny: draw a sphere around the earth, that just includes the moon. Let's use spherical coordinates. The moon typically occupies 1/2 degree of the sky, so in our spherical coordinates that's 1/720th along the phi-axis and 1/360th along the theta-axis, or roughly 4 chances in a million of striking the moon. The sun has about the same half-degree appearance in the sky, so similar chances of being hit.

Most of space is empty.... hence the name.

Jobcentre ejects Jedi Knight

Marvin the Martian
WTF?

No, the hoods cannot be taken off.

I distinctly remember all six Star Wars film long, all the jedi had their faces obscured and were talking from under the hood. Definitely never saw faces of any of them. Fact.