@Nick Fisher
"I bought my first Mac back in 1991, and I've been using them ever since."
Ok, really, did you *really* buy your Mac back in 1991? That'll be System 6. Oh yes, System 6 kicks the Win9x series' ass. But...
"How many hardware problems have I had with them? Er, none."
I'll admit to that.
"Days lost due to dodgy software/OS upgrades? Zero."
Wait. You didn't ever get that weird MacOS patch (7.5.x something) that b0rked the floppy disk system? Usually, running an installer would require running from disk 1, then switching to disk 2, then disk1, disk3; disk1, disk4 and so. But that weird patch would have you swapping floppies every TWO SECONDS like 1,2,1,2,1,2,1,2,1,3,1,3,1,3...
It was UGLY. It was the worst thing I ever lived through in my entire Mac experience. (1986-1997) It cost me and my dad two full clean/reinstalls until we found out it was the frickin' update causing the thing. Good thing was that Apple made another patch fixing this ... but that took weeks.
"Viruses and malware? Zilch."
Guess where Symantec was born. SAM = Symantec Antivirus Manager, one of a few Mac Antivirus apps out there; there was another one with a V logo (can't remember its name) and some others. Granted, the total count of virii out there was about 10. But at least one managed to trash our good ole' Powerbook 180, and another one took down my Jasmine Removable 45Mb cartridge.
Oh, and if you don't know what "Jasmine" is, you really, really aren't that old-skool with Macs. ;)