Posts by TeeCee

"....we have discovered Nibiru....."

Wait 'til Rag Week. That's the time you're most likely to find a clapped-out old Daewoo car stuck somewhere improbable.....

Lohan connection?

She wouldn't turn down a free junket to go on the lash in Oz either......

More like:

The bloke next door is an amateur chef, a good mate, makes fish soup and you sell his fish soup on your menu. Some of your customers get sick as dogs, as his kitchen is actually an unlicensed, roach infested hellhole. The soup is identified as the most likely culprit and you are advised to stop selling it.

You decide that you don't want to upset your mate and would rather carry on giving your customers the shits, 'cos you don't give a toss about them.

Then you act all surprised when someone writes a letter to the local rag about how they got gyppo tummy at your restaurant, loads of people read it and your trade disappears overnight.....

DDOS techniques.

We've had botnets and meatnets.

Is this the first sheepnet at work?

Resorting to the shell is not bad. Each to his own and all that.

*Having* to resort to the shell in a GUI OS, 'cos some clueless wazzock forgot to provide that functionality in the GUI, is a right fucking pig's ear.

Quite common actually.

A moped is quite a bit faster than a plod on foot, which is the only thing they have that can follow it down a footpath.

In a "catch me if you can" contest between the plod and a moped rider who knows the area, my money's on the moped every time.

All bets off if they get a chopper up in time.......

Hmm, the other day I was listening to a Canadian colleague and passport holder regaling me with the "police state with knobs on" reception he got trying to enter, er, Canada.

He had commited the despicable offence of......not having been in Canada for a while. Apparently the nefarious act of not visting Canada regularly has the same effect on Canadian immigration as being of a swarthy complexion and having what looks like a couple of pounds of C4 and a load of curly wires in your luggage when X-rayed does to the US types.

Thus if His Nibs the Lama has Canadian citizenship, it's probably best if he keeps it quiet.

Great idea, beer with built-in pub conversation.

When you and your mates drinking gBeer (tm) 1.0 (beta) have finished arguing over whether or not all those ingredients make it any good, you can move on to arguing whether or not moving all the ingredients around makes the slightest fucking difference to the planet's ecosystem, given the ever escalating megatonnages of crap being chucked out due to Chinese and Indian industrialisation.

You have everything there necessary to be a typical Reg reader.

All you need to do to complete the picture is press the button on your phone that lights the LED torch and then wave it around while making lightsabre noises.....

".....after Ellison childishly talked about "erasing them" once they reach their integer performance."

Yup, that one made me laugh too. Partly at the ego-wanking, but mostly due to the implied assumption that IBM are going to stand still while Larry and his minions run the Red Queen's race.

IBM *will* spend loads of wonga, but not on Java. They'll spend it on making sure that the goalposts Oracle are aiming for get frictionless wheels and a bigger engine....

"...my innre pedant."

Much to learn in the ways of pedantry have you.

Other bit. Apparently said useful resource, completely dependant on the good graces of one bloke doing his stuff for free, was relied upon by some important things.

Can anyone say "single point of failure"? No? Oh well, that's all right then.

Of course the ultimate Fail here is by Astrolabe themselves. I'll bet quite a bit that the usual suspects out in the merry world of hacktivist land aren't going to take this lying down and that Astrolabe's life is going to be a bit bloody miserable for quite a while.

Everyone knows that yoyos have strings and that wingnuts are the ones with little "ears" to turn them with.

So, I'm not surprised that there are sausages in Tescos.

Gosh yes, you are so right. It should say something like this:

"You've probably only downvoted this 'cos you're a raving fanboi of some POS that the OP dissed, but we'll log your crappy vote anyway."

Presumably the Amish have rebellious teenagers too.

Right. So a bit like telling a lunar astronaut what to do then?

Does it go <BEEEEEP> to disguise the lag? I believe it's traditional.

I'm guess that's because the idea is to get them into space, rather than have them converted into a selection of heavily singed spacecraft components somewhere between here and there.

You mean there *isn't* an app for that?

All the more sad when those of us with a cheap old WinMo device and a copy of MS Voice Command get most of the functionality (and all the important bits IMHO) on the device......which has bugger all by way of memory and processing horsepower.

My phonebook's stuffed with Greek, German, a variety of Central European and Scandanavian monickers and the like. It manages to get these with a truly astonishing level of accuracy from my godawful pronunciation, I have to admit there are two where its readback leaves a bit to be desired, but there are several others where its rendition is rather better than mine, so I call that a no-score draw. It also reads out meeting reminders and such. I've turned that off as it gives me the screaming willies when the disembodied voice pipes up unexpectedly in me lughole if I've left the BT headset on.

Typical MS. Having produced the "killer app", instead of building it into the system they did their damnedest to hide it as it wasn't big and complicated enough to interest their marketing types.

I've tried other handsets, car kits and such with voice control. None has come anywhere close so far.....

'- "The compiler can optimize your code better than you"

(something nobody has actually managed to demonstrate in a non-trivial case)'

Ah yes. The FORTRAN argument. Back in the day, it was always said that a "compiler" (which was a largely theoretical concept at the time) could never generate instruction level code that was as efficient as hand-optimised assembler. This was hugely important back when every byte of memory and every CPU cycle was precious.

What was proved was exactly that. The clever bit was that the FORTRAN version of the complex mathematical logic chosen for the test was developed in a couple of days rather than weeks, was only marginally slower and......gave the right answer(!) For the first time it was shown that actually the hardware cost of running the end results was not necessarily the whole story.

So the actual answer here is no, the compiler cannot optimize your code better than you, but it can certainly do it far more quickly than you can and the improvements you can get may well not be worth your time getting them.

Move on a few decades and we do seem to have lost the plot though. Any evidence of god-awful performance is inevitably greeted with "chuck hardware at it".......

There's a shortage.

All the Magic is being used to get the European Central Bank's balance sheet to add up. Supplies of Revolution are being stockpiled by hoarders in the mediterranean countries of the EU for some reason.....

You've done it now, tempting fate like that.

Next week: "Destroyed" Hospital records FOUND ON TRAIN!!111!!! Pictures at 11.

Laugh? Never.

Sigh, shake head and mutter "I told you so..."? Quite probably.........

Wordy git.

"You can't take it with you."

There. Simpler, shorter and the meaning is more obvious too.