Posts by TeeCee

@Those who had their details published.

That's really let the cat out of the bag now, hasn't it?

What a pair of pompous c*nts.

That's the message I got out of the article, anyway.

It all sounded just like Microsoft some years back! "We're huge, we're great, we've got the best product, we've got the best strategy and anyone who doesn't agree with us is dead in the water."

Remember here, Microsoft started with the attitude that because Windows was so bloody superior to everything else, anything not using it would die. They eventually had to resort to good, old-fashioned dirty tactics when this proved untrue.

It's not just the thin/fat client thing that repeats itself.......

@netean

But that would involve a preferential tariff for roaming onto vodafone FR / DE / NL / whatever as opposed to roaming onto Orange / T-mobile / O2lefonica / whatever.

Which would be anticompetitive and illegal under, er, EU rules.

What the left hand giveth, the right hand taketh away.

So.

What do Microsoft have in common with a dyslexic rap artist?

They both spent $100 million on Bing.

(FX: Large hook from stage left)

Next week....

The holders of the assets of the former North British Locomotive Works in Glasgow sue Cartier for unauthorised use of their trademark.

How does that work?

"deleting.......too expensive, instead offering to put in place a system to hide records...."

Exactly how is "DELETE FROM records WHERE ni_number=n" more expensive than modifying the database to incorporate a hidden flag and then modifying all the data access methods used by all the client systems to return "sod off" when the hidden flag is set?

I call bullshit on this one. Unless, of course, the problem is that they've actually got no fucking idea of where all the places that your data might end up are. So I suppose the real question is are they lying about the cost of this or are they lying about the security of your data?

Re: So....

Ah, the world's storage problems solved.

A new storage device with a 1.44Mb capacity that can be expanded to 1Tb just by thinking dirty.

Actually I reckon this is already in use in Government IT. This would neatly explain why whenever Jaqui Smith is around they lose all their data.

Re: Number crunching.

I think that your suggestion that President Ahmedinejad of Iran, a devout Muslim, would partake of a glass of whiskey is potentially offensive.

To be on the safe side here I have reported you for an act of potential Religious hatred to the police and I'm sure that they'll do the right thing (probably something involving SO19, knowing them).

Also your portrayal of Charles Kennedy as a drunken sot is probably libellous. (Yes, I know it's true, you think this makes a difference these days?) Watch for a Carter-Fuckogram on your doormat soon.

But does it work?

The insect bristles and oils thing.

I feel an email campaign offering bargain insect bristles to lusers coming on and it'd be nice to have some testimonials (ooooeeerrr) to add vesimilitude to the scam.

Mines the one with the pocket full of lingams (4.99 a pound at Waitrose).

Re: SN2.0

I'm not sure that you can describe a 747-full as "sneakernet". It's a bit difficult to be sneaky while carrying one of those around with you.

Paris. For the obvious "Is that a 747 in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?" gag.

Re: Other options.

"OEM isn't an option since I expect to be swapping the MB/CPU in a year's time......"

Hmm, my OEM XP has been on a "rolling upgrade" box since I bought it and the OS has served through more HW changes than you can shake a stick at. None of the current components bear any relation to what it originally grumbled into life on and are all at least four generations removed (bar the case - that's only been swapped once).

Once in a while, when swapping bits, it'll bitch about this, but a quick call to MS solves that. Rather handily for XP owners who like to fiddle with hardware, they've now made this a fully automated process ("Press 1 for yesIonlyhaveonemachine" - automated license fixage key read out by return).

This is actually the one area where M$ don't take the piss (as long as you don't), contrary to the scare stories circulating about OEM versions.

@Munkey

"If porn was found when searching for say 'fishing'......"

What? You mean as in:

<google>

Did you mean: <i>fisting</i>?

</google>

The long and extremely dirty mac please.

@Andrew Fraser

Thank you so much for that.

I do so love the taste of sick in my throat on a Monday morning.....

Memory cards.

Oh, I dunno. Sometimes eBay is the only way that you can get certain things.

I obtained a Transcend 4Gb SD card the other day (yes, SD, not SDHC) as the latest maps* for my satnav take more than 2 gigs, the thing doesn't support the HC cards and I can't be arsed to monkey about loading maps as required.

That's the one that Transcend's own website refuses to admit exists, yet is well known in the satnav forums. eBay was the only place** that I could find one. It's kosher (I've tested it through repeated read / write cycles with both large and small files to 4 gigs) and works a treat.

Caveat emptor indeed. Do the research, take your time and pick the vendor carefully. There are bargains to be had.

*Aaarhaaar me hearties!

**Okay, not strictly true, Amazon had 'em too (showing as available but out of stock). But they wanted over 50 sodding quid for the privilege(!) I figured that the thick end of a tenner including postage was worth a punt......

Re: Virgin Galactic??

It saves that pesky rebranding in some years time when "Virgin Orbital" looks rather quaint.

There's nothing like picking a bang on, with it, state of the art name and then looking somewhat old hat a few decades later. Classic example of shortsighted thinking here is that quaint old vintage film company, 20th Century Fox..........

Great!

"......conducted on swine, which are anatomically very different to humans."

All we need now is a massive PR campaign to "get the message across" to the flu virus and we're all safe!

I think that "anatomically somewhat different", "anatomically slightly different" or just "anatomically different" would have been better here. There's a reason why pigs are seen as a handy source of transgenic transplants and that piggy heart valves are already in common use you know........

Let me guess.

"How it can make this guarantee, it's not saying."

How about like this: "We're based in Russia. We can lie in our sales pitch and there's f*** all you can do about it. If you want to claim on our guarantee, our after-sales support guys Yuri and Leonid (who learned their people skills with Aquarium) will be happy to solve all your problems. Permanently."

<Knock Knock>

<Thump, pummel, batter>

Ah, right. The above is all highly speculative and merely a piss-poor attempt at humour of course. I'm sure that this is actually all completely above board and that they're a reliable company who would be a pleasure to do business with. In fact I'll be reviewing this astonishingly fine product soon.

Right after Yuri takes his foot off my neck in fact.

Missing quote.

When asked about his plans for the mayoralty he replied: "Well I'm planning to start with a bit of basic graft and skimming a percentage off the top, but next year I'm thinking about putting in an expenses system.".....

Re: I have an idea for National Security

You are the Stasi and I claim my five pounds!

I'm intrigued.

What are "fake clairvoyants"?

You mean there are clairvoyants out there who can't really see into the future? I'm shocked and amazed!

NB: It's easy to spot a real clairvoyant. They're the ones who are as rich as Croesus, retired and living on their own private islands.

The only question is:

Whether the hack to turn iPhone lite into iPhone full-fat ships before or after the launch of the product itself.

This would be the one thing that turned jailbreaking iPhones from a niche, techy thing into a mainstream act.

I agree that Jobs must have had no involvement here. He may be a lot of things, but dumb enough to point a shotgun at his foot and pull both triggers ain't one of 'em.

@AC @ 14:45

"....RTFM and learn the keyboard shortcuts..."

Well fuck me backwards! Learning the keyboard shortcuts in an app is quicker than picking the mouse up every time you want to access the tools? Who knew?

Next week, how reverting to DOS can save you a shitload of cash on hardware and gets rid of *all* that tedious, time wasting GUI shit once and for all.

"...like a futuristic, one-eyed sandwich toaster."

Is there something about the future that you know and are not telling us?

Even Nostradamus appears to have missed the rise of the mutant, cyclopean sandwich toasters.

Language.

Now, before the usual crowd wade in criticising Ted's use of profanity, I'd just like to say that in this usage: ".....why some fucking snippet of CSS won't fucking render in fucking Internet Explorer fucking 6.", it's entirely justified.

South Carolina

Never been there myself.

The gist of the comments associated with the various articles on this topic leads me to believe that I have this particular geographical inexperience in common with whoever wrote: "Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina"........

800 watts? Scary?

You can get to that quite easily with a decently specced PC sporting a couple of high-end Nvidia GPUs in SLi.

You were expecting Nvidia chips to suddenly chew less power 'cos they were stuck on a maths copro board rather than a graphics card why exactly?

Flames, 'cos I'll bet it's like Satan's fireplace inside the box too.

Third meaning!

"....Americans simply do not eat rabbits"

They do drive them though and that is a genuine, geographically specific thing as VW call 'em Golfs everywhere else.

Re: Oxford Brookes University eh?

Ah! I'd always thought that there should be more to being a University than tipp-exing out the word "Polytechnic" from your name and writing in "University" in biro.

Thank you for confirming this.

"The battery module have lasted 19 years"

Any reason why the rest of us have to put up with shite that either dies after 18 months or bursts into flames after two weeks?