* Posts by TeeCee

9436 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Google to Commies: We’ll make censorship illegal

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Coat

Ooo, I think I can guess this one.

"....but what would they make of a home made rocket launcher that can take down a Jumbo Jet at cruising altitude?"

Not sure, but I suspect that legislation for a defined Jumbo Jet season would be in there somewhere.

God particles breeding like bosons

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Happy

Immortality opportunity!

Quick lads, we can be first to define something here.

What's the collective noun for Higgs Bosons?

Twitter topples over

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WTF?

'Ang on.......

Wasn't the world supposed to stop turning or something?

Internet 1 - England goalkeeper 0

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Re: What about

"....the £100,000 a week prime donne that make up the England strikers?"

Er, Heskey was playing?

I've an Irish mate who insists on referring to the England first choice strike pairing as "Shrek and the donkey". He may be on to something.

New York Times bans 'tweet'

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He's contradicted himself too.

"it doesn't help that the word itself seems so inherently silly".

That in itself would go a very long way toward making it an entirely justifiable usage.

Balinese lad seduced by bovine temptress

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Coat

Important question.

Once the cow was dead, did he get the horn?

Dell customers count cost of battery back-up

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FAIL

That million quid battery.

Do they debit your card at order time or when they ship?

Since the latter date appears to be "never"*, the price isn't important then.

*Eight months and counting. I'm lucky though as mine only went west eight months ago, others here have been waiting rather longer than that.

BBC wins go-ahead for Freeview HD content controls

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Re: Very poor decision

"...if I've paid for it I want it, and I want it to look at again..."

Since it's quite clearly stated in the article (you did read it, right?) that they are not going to allow the "copy never" flag to be set, you'll always be able to take one copy to view as often as you like. What you won't be able to do is run off multiple copies for your mates.

Well, allegedly. Presumably once you've copied off the thing to the medium of your choice, duplicating that rather than copying from the box itself should be a trivial exercise.

TfL admits congestion charge autopay problems

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Alert

There *is* a surpise here.

That's the bit where it's suggested that the previous Capita system worked well.

What's the congestion charge for winged pigs?

French judiciary makes transgender boob

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The Chief Prosecutor in Nancy.....

.......must therefore be a woman.

What with being completely dickless 'n all......

Hayabusa in fiery return to Earth

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Headmaster

"...a lump of rubble..."?

Surely rubble is by definition lots of lumps? A single lump of rubble would be more commonly called a rock.

BT staff to down tools tomorrow

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Grenade

Very clever, I'm sure.

"BT also scheduled a three-month change embargo in the run up to the 2012 Olympics...."

Yes, because everything required for that will be in place and working at least three months before it all kicks off.

Yeah........right.......

Presumably what they've really scheduled is an embargo on all changes not specifically related to the Olympics. Not because of the load on the network, but because all their engineers will be occupied full time running around like blue-arsed flies trying to get all the glitches sorted before the opening ceremony ends.

O2 to step back from unlimited mobile data deals

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Joke

Cricket

"I wonder how much data a days worth of cricket streamed over 3G takes.."

What you need is the likes of Boycott and Tavaré at the crease. With compression only sending the frame updates you could get through an entire day using no bandwidth at all.

Sarah Palin 'boob job' debate dominates US right - and left

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Only two huge boobs plastered all over the press?

Must be one of Palin's better weeks......

Google blames Wi-Fi snooping on rogue engineer

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Re: Do you honestly think

Of course they'd know what to do with it.

SOP is to copy it to a memory stick and leave it on the 15:38 from Paddington.

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FAIL

Arrogance?

"...we try to do things for end-users against organised opposition from stakeholders that are unhappy..."

Or, in other words: "We do the right thing, it's everyone who objects that's wrong.". Not arrogant at all then.

Lambeth Labour party in email tapping row

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FAIL

My what a wordy quote!

Let me shorten that:

"We fully embrace the practice of openness and transparency in local government, but only when it suits us."

There. Exactly the same meaning in umptysomething less words.

Microsoft's Bing grabs hold of Zuckerberg's firehose

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Re: sounds awful

You had the answer right there: "...if I ran a search engine of any repute."

The condition on your IF statement has failed.

Robobeachcop demands licence from Poole snapper

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Happy

You want to make this problem go away?

Slash the council budget.

Then the army of shitwitted tinpot nazi wannabees who serve no purpose other than to make the organisation employing them look like a bunch of twunts will start to look like an unaffordable luxury.

All we need is a government committed to wielding the axe. By happy coincidence we seem to have aquired one of those so:

"Come in number 8, your time is up!"

Mass hack plants malware on thousands of webpages

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Grenade

Yes, that sounds like an obvious question.

Sort of makes you wonder why so many of those in a position to actually prevent this sort of thing never ask it.

Google infected by World Cup fever

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Coat

Re: Seeing past one's belly.

Can't see why it's so highly rated meself.

If I feel the need to look at a great big dick I just take the lift up to the management floor of the office....

Conroy pledges to stop spams infecting Aussies' portals

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Stop

"If that sounds like he was reading from an auto cue..."

Actually it sounded more like he was reading from the Big Bullshitter's Bumper Book of Blithering Bollocks to me.

Strippers hit historic Marconi HQ

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FAIL

Yeah......right......

"Receivers Zolfo Cooper say they're increasing security on the premises."

Yes of course. Because if it deteriorated to the extent that became condemned or went on fire they could get it delisted and demolished and the site could be then easily be flogged off for development.

That would be a bad thing from their perspective how exactly?

All down to the old chestnut of there being no VAT on new build but there being so on repair, rebuild, refurbishment, conversion et. al. Thus the tax system ensures that existing buildings are a liability as regards selling the site and listed ones doubly so. These days of course it's even worse.

And that's before you factor in the ecofiddling taxes courtesy of the CO2 nazis which render listed building conversions even more uneconomic / unsaleable.

Bill defines 'personal information' to avoid strengthening DPA penalties

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Re: Johnny Foreigner

"She isn't even allowed to make a donation to a political party or candidate."

Ah. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Turkey bans Google Books, Google Docs, Google Translate...

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Coat

Re: "Reporters Without Boarders"

Obviously they exist to protest about people who go around boarding things up.

Even virtually.......

New laser raygun tech: Our sharks kick the tyres

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Re: Wait, what?

So you're going to need to genetically engineer giant sharks to fit lasers to.

I don't see that being a problem for any evil genius worth his salt.

Major League Baseball hunts for trolls posting porn

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Happy

Watch this space!

Taking: ".....has traced the IP addresses used to post the messages to Charter."

and: ".....it's an open website that allows people to post information anonymously..."

together leads me to one conclusion. Now the latter's public knowledge, the former won't be true much longer. This afternoon could well be International Snap Your Goolies For Major League Baseball Day.

British Library sinks beneath Strategy Boutique spam

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Thumb Down

Terminology.

"I endeavour to remove spam-like posts."

Ah, I am forcibly reminded of Captain Cook's voyage of discovery in the good ship "Fuck that for a game of soldiers, what's on telly?"

Final Fantasy XIII ate my Playstation

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Wrecking kit with games.

Take one shiny new DEC 20 (IIRC) still in its commissioning period at a bastion of academia. Add 20 fresh-faced lads with some spare time clutching moody login credentials and a set of handwritten instructions on where to find DECwars on said box.

A couple of hours later.

<overheat>

<thermal trip>

<emergency power trip>

<disk crash>

No harm to the machine itself, but the good old-fashioned head crash on the disks cost someone the thick end of 25 grand apparently. In the early 80's when 25 grand was a decidedly non-trivial sum too.

There was a witch hunt but no witches were found.....

Steve Jobs unveils iPhone 4

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Re: RE: Price of video chat

"If it's over Wi-Fi, there won't be a charge...."

Of course you'll be able to connect directly to the other iPhone* of your choice. If this turns out not to be the case and there's an iChat service in the middle, Apple will of course give this away for free.

I admire your confidence........

*New Apple "standard" for video chat remember? What did you think you'd be connecting to?

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Happy

Re: wut?

Just ignore him and do what the rest of us do. Polish the blood and hair off the bumpers and carry on.

If you were looking where you were going it's reasonable to expect the same courtesy from others IMHO.

South African Bill to block all porn

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WTF?

Who the what?

".....the Justice Alliance of South Africa...."

Is it just me, or did everyone else get spandex, capes and masks with that?

Facebook plugs email address indexing bug

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Joke

Re: Umm...

Yup, too difficult to fix properly, so work around it.

Change the form header from "Opt out of emails from Facebook" to "Opt in to emails from absobloodylutely everyone except Facebook".

That should do it.

Apple's HTML5 'standards' hype debunked

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Own goal?

They are good at marketing.

Downside: pisses off a few techies.

Upside: gets great unwashed to click "Download Safari" button en masse.

It's the great unwashed they're after. They know damned well that those with enough savvy to spot the con aren't their target customer base anyway. The likes of us don't need "just works", aren't prepared to pay extra for it or put up with the straightjacketing. We're quite happy to save a few quid and go with "will work perfectly well if treated with a bit of common sense".

SpaceX Falcon 9 achieves orbit on maiden flight

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Grenade

Engines.

".... even the N1's engine has turned out to be a star on the Atlas V."

Difficult not to be. As it's not only a closed cycle unit, but an oxygen rich one to boot, its efficiency is off the scale compared to anything NASA have produced.

They built it the old way: Take plans, build engine, test engine, BANG, fix bit that went bang, test engine, BANG, repeat until working engine achieved, redraw plans from result. NASA's "ticks in boxes" style involves going back to redesign / planning whenever anything (including BANG) goes wrong. They reckon it would have taken them at least 30 years to go through the number of design iterations the Russians did in two.

But NASA and their contractors have a process and a focus on safety, which makes it all ok....

Pacific islands growing not shrinking, says old study

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Thumb Up

Excellent.

Do you mind if I use that one myself on occasion?

Salacious smut soaks 12% of web

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Joke

Re: wow

It's a hard life, but someone had to get stuck in, give it their best shot and cum up with this seminal work......

Government opens public spending database

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Alert

Good on 'em!

You can call me a cynic if you like, but I'll be pleasantly surprised to see this continue when it's them that's pissed the money up the wall and it's in their best interests to hide it.

I don't like the teeth on that horse you're trying to give me either.......

Artificial 'black hole' generator fashioned out of circuit boards

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Round we go again.....

"Arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhh, all the enemy's planes are invisible to our missile systems, what are we going to do?"

"Well, if we had lots of blokes in small, fast aeroplanes they could look out of the windows and shoot down the opposition using visual targetting. We could call them 'fighter squadrons' and give them machine guns or small calibre cannon......"

Search begins on seized Gizmodo journo kit

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Coat

World's all-time?

I'm forced to wonder as to the knob size of, say, the Momentasaurus......

Is your office World Cup sweepstake legal?

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Coat

Re: "Often millions considering Sir McCarthy."

He should count himself lucky. She might have got more if she'd had a leg to stand on.

The one with the Big Book of Tasteless Jokes in the pocket thanks.

PARIS pops down to QinetiQ

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Happy

Leaks.

"....the air had time to sneakily escape between the ground glass plunger and the syringe interior wall."

What happened to the placcy one? Those usually have a ridged rubber thingy* on the end of the plunger which should give a better seal. You might want to apply a smear of silicone grease to the thing first (you want the plunger to move smoothly and contamination of the syringe contents isn't an issue).

I'm impressed with the chamber though. 8,000 to 65,000 feet in 0.1 seconds? Makes my ears hurt just thinking about it.

*Stop laughing at the back there.

Judges back Holland against Ladbrokes on online gaming

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FAIL

One law for us........

See US vs. Antigua at the WTO.

If the EU (allegedly a "single market".....yeah.....right...) can't get its bleedin' act together here, why the hell does anyone expect this sort of thing to work cross-border anywhere else?

Ladbrokes ought to lobby the British government to take this to the WTO. It'd be dead funny to watch the bright light of WTO trade rules being shone into the murky corners of European pork politics.

I have to admit though that the whole idea of NL being concerned about Internet scams strikes me as cripplingly funny as they have a bit of a dodgy reputation in this area...

ID cards poster girl laments her £30

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Re: Stupidity tax.

I think that one's already in general use to describe the National Lottery.

Of course, if she'd used her 30 quid to buy 30 lines on the lottery, she'd have stood a slim chance of getting her money back and an outside chance of making quite a bit more.

So it's targetted at people who are too stupid to fall within the remit of a standard stupidity tax..........Fuckwit tax?........Knuckle-dragging-moron tax?........

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: "i liked the way you slipped this one in..."

and I like the way that you echoed the theme in your approval..........

Drinking coffee offers no real benefit, say eggheads

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Meh!

Not bothered about coffee, never have been. Decent tea however.....

I do drink coffee, loads of it. The only reason for this is that most offices will provide something that tastes fairly coffee-like and while I can tell the difference between decent coffee and crap, I'm not too bothered as I don't actually like it anyway.

Office tea on the other hand tastes like someone's boiled up the contents of the nearest hoover bag and pissed in the end result to add colour.

Yahoo! APIs share fantasy with devs

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FAIL

Irony moment - par excellance!

But if you type "yahoo fantasy sports api" into Google, the first result returned is the Yahoo Developer Network article on the subject.

If there were medals for irony, Yahoo! would get a bar to theirs for this.

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Happy

Yahoo fantasy Football?

Is that football as in football, or football as in rugby-for-big-girls'-blouses-in-armour?

Watchdog backs Google antitrust complaint with (more) data

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Product Search vs. Shopzilla.

More than 20 million is "trailing" 21 million?

Not by bloody much then and if the trend on that graph continues, the boot'll be on the other foot when the figures for December 2k9 are out.

"Overtaking" might be a better term here.

Qualcomm spits out 3rd gen Snapdragon

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Troll

I have to ask.....

"...designed purely for high level web and graphics performance..........as well as 1080p HD video encode/decode...."

Given the recent heated debate on the subject, for which codec would that hardware support be?

Off now to hide in a bunker while the flames die down in true troll stylie....