Posts by TeeCee

Most valuable asset?

Yeah, right.

Like this: http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1993-03-03/

Clever name?

The problem for me is that the cup of coffee next to the keyboard acts as a handy reminder that, no matter who makes it, "Instant" is always shit......

I can see the problem.

"Hey Abdul, pass the rocket launcher."

"Why?"

"I've just noticed on Facebook that the British first armoured brigade have their locations down as 'behind hill 427 outside Kandahar'........"

Other news today.

Heavy trading has seen a massive increase in the share prices of office furniture manufacturers.......

Yay!

You can use an iPad as a modem.

Anyone found another serious use for one yet?

"fibreglass body"

That'll ruin Robin's day. No chance of getting a cheap laugh due to holey rusted metal.

USB ports.

The confusion on spec here would also point to it being the YeeWay device. In the pic of that you can clearly see one full size USB "A" port and an adjacent USB on-the-go (both master and device) port in mini-usb format.

So it's got two USB ports, but as one of them's labelled "OTG" and is a different type this may have confused a few people.

Eh?

What the hell's up with the door?

Looks like it's too big for the hole. Some sort of optical illusion / weird perspective effect or does it really stick up above the roof when closed like that (and presumably leaks like a bucket with holes in when it rains)? If the latter, why can't we see the top of the one on the other side?

Looks like someone screwed up in Photoshop and then went on to build the result.

Wow!

All that and turbines too?

Are they going to make it? When can I buy one?

I'll even clear my boxful of winning lottery tickets and collection of signed photographs of Satan's skiing holiday out of my unobtanium garage to make room for it.

Ah, neologisms.

"Truthiness"?

Just what is wrong with "veracity"?

Oh yeah?

"We believe this type of attack could only be conducted with nation-state support and backing,"

Yes, 'cos no l33t d00d h4x0r has ever produced a cunningly crafted worm using Windows exploits to target a specific software landscape in the past, have they?

I suggest that Kaspersky give up the day job and go over full time to writing for the Daily Mail.

I'd suggest that an alternate view here would be that Kaspersky found that it was yet another Russian cybercrime gang behind it and the Russian government told 'em in no uncertain terms to cover this up to avoid souring their relations with Iran. If it were thought to be a "nation state", it'll take all of five minutes for the finger to be pointed at Israel and the US*, which will suit the Russians quite nicely.

I can haz conzpirasy yes?

*'Cos everyone'll see "Iran" and conveniently overlook both all the other places hit and that Iran weren't even the first on the receiving end. Can't let pesky facts get in the way of a good conspiracy now, can we?

Parrot fever?

Crackly line from Cambodia was it? I'm sure that should be Pirate fever......

'... which it attributes to a "solar convergence phenomenon".'

Meanwhile the rest of the world decided to carry on using the word "lens"*......

*OK, "sodding great big lens" then.

That graphic.

I do like the way that the massive kick in the nuts that Apple's stock took at the start of trading, as shown on the first part of the graphic, is labelled "(c) Yahoo" at the bottom of it.

Are Yahoo trying to send a subtle message here?

David Winkelman...

...appears to have at least one of the necessary qualifications to be an El Reg commentard.

He can miss an obvious joke, take it seriously and end up making a complete arse of himself.

@StrongType

Or they could just stick with what they know and reject the humungous retraining/migration/refactoring/interfacing/transitioning/inevitable-huge-fuckup costs associated with that little lot.

"This could help Britain at a time of economic trouble..."

I'm not sure that a massive "replace everything" project with an inevitable umpty-something billion price tag on it is quite what anyone needs when they're broke.

You missed a trick.

Surely this piece should have been written by Lewis and centred on whether a US or European manufacturer is going to get the contract for the requisite helicopter-covered-in-lightbulbs?

Evil genius wanted!

Anyone care to knock together an army of giant, mutant leguminous vegetables and send 'em out on the rampage in Cupertino?

Poetic justice, the best sort.

"Our competitor is Bing."

And there you have it, in his own words.

An admission that Google is indeed a de facto monopoly......

Salmon skin faux leather trim.

Tacky, horrible bling crap and I have to say it looks perfectly at home on a BMW X6.

Anyone know what it was that posessed BMW to make a car that any drug dealing gangsta wannabee would cut off his left nut* to own?

*Or, more likely, someone else's.

It's happened then?

"Nuclear power for commercial vessels is becoming significantly more attractive.............not least from an environmental perspective,"

<Sad old git>

When I were a lad, it were simple in the environmental activism business: Nuclear bad, non-nuclear good and every long-haired, kaftan wearing freak that could carry a banner knew it. Now there's all these bright young lads with thir sharp suits and their carbon emissions figures touting nuclear power as a good thing.

It's enough to make you want to take off your sandals and shave.......

</Sad old git>

Dunno who did that.

But putting together a scam that makes the Tw@ts out themselves en masse as goat-shaggers is worth immunity from prosecution all on its own.

Actually I reckon it's worth a sainthood, but that's just me.

"...fearmongering armsbiz lobbyists..."

Who appear to have an inside track to nobble the Beeb if last night's "Spooks" is anything to go by.

Apparently you can put one of these electropulse superweapons under the Palace of Westminster and this is the ULTIMATE DEFENCE AGAINST TERRORISM!!!!!!111!!!!!

That should stop any pesky reality checks interfering with the signing of humungoresearchwonga cheques. After all, when it comes to convincing MPs that something's a Good Thing you can't beat easily knocking off 40-knot drug-subs stuffed with explosives in the Thames*, can you?

*However hopelessly bleedin' unlikely *that* may be.

Yes, but...

.....this 'ere detector says the Taxman is lying.

"....times three, 'cos T-Mobile knows what it's doing..."

Gosh, I hope they don't have to prove in court that T-Mobile knows what it's doing in order to get the 3x multiplier.

There's a slight dearth of evidence to that effect.....

"The EU law...."

Aha, there's your problem, right there. It's not an EU law, it's a Commission directive.

The fault here is, as usual, with the fact that the British Single European Act makes the same assumption.

Spuds are ok for some.

Potatoes may not be an acceptable laptop substitute for all, but they can get online video through YouTuber. For music there's eyeTunes of course.

'There's nothing transparent about what "aligning all tariffs" even means,'

Oh I dunno, just 'cos they haven't actually written "this means 'screwing our customers'" down in black and white doesn't mean it isn't transparently obvious.

Gag update time.

"What's the average bandwidth of a pigeon?"

"What do you mean? A Rock or Wood pigeon?"

"What? I don't know that.......AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

You complete bastards!

You mentioned Melton Mowbray Pork Pies. Those deliciously artery-clogging pieces of heaven which aren't available over here at all.

Thanks for ruining my weekend. The only way it could get any worse now is if something reminded me of Garner's pickled onions or mature Cheddar cheese.........DAMN!