* Posts by TeeCee

9435 publicly visible posts • joined 5 Oct 2007

Spanish fascist decries Franco Eurovision slur

TeeCee Gold badge
FAIL

FoTW?

Nul points for that (even if you translated it into Spanish and submitted it in 1968).

Ok, there's some swearing, the writer's obviously right up on his high horse and hasn't got a leg to stand on, but proper punctuation and correct capitalisation*? Starting a sentance with "And" isn't enough to make up for that.

Very poor......

*I guess that the commies were right and the bourgeois intelligentsia are actually fascist running-dog lackeys after all.

Great white sharks menace Blighty

TeeCee Gold badge
Joke

Ah, you need the right tackle?

Ok, let's see.

Oceangoing barge with salvage crane? Check.

2000' of heavy duty anchor chain? Check.

3' tool steel barbed hook? Check.

All I need now is a Sun journalist as bait and a weekend's fishing off Cornwall shall be mine.

Apple to lead fanbois 'Back to the Mac'

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FAIL

Re: old news

"Guess what, try buying a motherboard from Dell or anyone else;"

Well I suppose that if you were doing your own maintenance and were mind-numbingly stupid enough to buy Dell kit, that would be an issue. If you really must buy proprietry kit you should take the warranty, leave fixing it to those wot built it and stick to simple upgrades yourself.

If, on the other hand, you'd done the sensible thing and bought machines built with generic OEM components.....

A mobo costing "only" $389? I know boards *can* cost that much, but I've never spent more than half that. Including taxes and shipping. Way to shoot down your own argument!

'Squeeze green oil from North Sea by squirting CO2 in' - prof

TeeCee Gold badge
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Nice to see...

Me too.

The prospect of of this mega DONG thrusting deeply into holes full of useful lubricants to squirt out CO2 under pressure gave me a severe attack of the schoolboy sniggers.

Opera: Can someone free Korea from IE?

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Grenade

@a person

Since cretain other browsers didn't enforce proxy settings when told to do so by Group Policy and deny the ability to change 'em to the user. Muppet.

It's not just about security behind the firewall, it's also about ensuring that laptops, when out and about, VPN in and proxy out for their Internet access so they always get all the filtering and such. A right PITA, but corporate policy.

That's just one of the many reasons why where I am sat enforces the use of, er, IE.

Not that I'm bothered, I don't mind IE......

Robot goes berserk in Balkan lab: 6 boffins given dead arms

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Terminator

@Mark Olleson

WTF? Indeed.

Josef Megele was a roboticist as well? Who knew?

Bit of renaissance man then. Specifically the sort who were busily working the thumb screws, racks, iron maidens and choking pears in order to keep science going in the right direction at the time of the renaissance.......

Bonfire of the quangos begins

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Grenade

Re: Your cynicism.

"...unless the top people on huge salaries go, there will be no savings."

You do know what a Quango is, right? It's a way of providing a sinecure to some top people on huge salaries who some minister thinks deserve a pat on the head. Any additional staff you see are there purely to make the job look important.

I think they have to turn up a couple of times a week and talk bollocks to justify the salary. It's a hard life being a fat-arsed bureaucratic parasite these days.

Ryanair wins ihateryanair.co.uk because of £322 ad revenue

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Flame

A damned good thing too.

"...the website contains 'vitriolic and highly disparaging' comments about [Ryanair],"

Nice to see that Nominet ruled that this was irrelevent. Ryanair would be able to take possession of just about every* fucking domain that allows user comments otherwise.

If they don't like the hate, maybe they should try not deliberately pissing off everyone stupid enough to fly on their crappy airline as an approach to the problem?

*i.e. all of them except their own.

TeeCee Gold badge
Joke

Re: Off to buy......

You are actually Michael O'Leary and ICMFP!

Archos users celebrate Android app access

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WTF?

Yeeeees, but......

"...but the search giant charges phone manufacturers for its applications including Google Maps and Gmail."

Or if your phone manufacturer didn't cough up, you can download and install the Google applications for free from, er, Google via m.google.com. They'll even automagically identify what you're running* and give you the right download for your device.

Oddly enough, having had a quick glance at their site, the most notable platforms without a direct download available appear to be iOS (surprise) and, er, Android.

So to get perfectly legitimate free access to all the Googly goodness, don't buy a phone with an OS from Apple or, er, Google. Presumably the left hand of Google has yet to notice what the right hand is up to and reach for the clue stick.

*Unless you access this with Opera, in which case they tell you to f*** off. Something to do with a deeply held conviction that all mobile Opera browsers are actually Opera Mini.

High-speed asteroid pile-up prompts X-File

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Joke

X marks the spot.

While Astronomers wonder what shaped objects are needed to produce a large "X" on collision, Google wonder what shaped objects are needed produce all the other letters as well.........

Asteroid bombardment space advertising (Beta). Coming soon to a night sky near you.

Microsoft confirms Russian pill-pusher attack on its network

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Coffee/keyboard

OMFG!

You mean amidst what's gotta be the world's largest collection of Windoze servers teh n0rty h4x0rs chose to target a couple of the few Linux based appliances on offer?

The assembled lintards who were so quick to take the piss when the story broke so owe me a keyboard. Best laugh I've had in ages.

Guardian super-blogger flames Reg boffinry desk

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Happy

@ Richard IV

So Nature used "recent" in their headline too?

I can't wait to see the Graun flame them for being a bunch of pseudo-scientific denialist spin-merchants.........it'll be very, very funny.

Incidently, just what role does a paid "lay scientist" play? Is that the same as "professional bullshitter"?

Ruskie gang hijacks Microsoft network to push penis pills

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Grenade

@ D. Suse

From the article (you did read it?): "Members are known to infect Linux and Unix machines....."

I hope you're right and they have diversified into attacking Windows Servers as well. If MS were hosting on Linux, teh intahwebs would implode as all the flamethrowers backfired at once.

Philip Green discovers ugly truth of government incompetence

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Unhappy

Re: "..should be a no brainer."

Yes it should, but it obviously isn't.

We've got extensive evidence that many thousands of people with absolutely no brains at all have been comprehensively screwing up contracts and specs in government for donkey's years.

Yahoo! goes head-to-head with FaceTime!

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"...applications that replicate functionality provided by Apple...."

What's the resolution of the Yahoo version?

If, as I suspect, it's more of yer bog-average grainy video chat, Apple may just regard it as a helpful illustration of how much better, game-changing and knicker-wettingly wonderful their proprietary FaceTime is.........

Bruce Willis relaxes as asteroid skims Singapore

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Coat

Re: missed opportunity?

Yes there is, the cost.

Find somewhere quiet and nuke him down here.

It doesn't have to be Rocket Science you know........

Hefty physicist: Global warming is 'pseudoscientific fraud'

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Grenade

Conspiracy?

"Over eight out of ten climate scientists believe that human activity contributes to global warming:"

That, in itself, is proof that AGW is *not* a proven fact. That very statement indicates that over 10% of 'em with access to the same data come to a different conclusion.

That's not a fact, that's a theory (albeit a well-recieved one). Proving a theory requires both experiment and debate. It is the Society's evangelical suppression of the latter, against it's core principles, that is the core theme of this letter.

Incidently, now we know that learned societies are actively stifling dissent and debate from within, it makes: "Every single science academy in the world has said that....." not worth a tinker's damn.

You don't have to go back more than a few hundred years to find a situation where every established scientific authority held that the world was flat and personally constructed by God. It didn't make it true. It's a good thing for science that there are people around who are prepared to think that just because something is accepted wisdom doesn't make it also a fact.

Google TV transplants Android on Intel

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Flash.

You must have played with the options to get W7 *not* to install the 32bit IE8. It does so by default and it also won't let you make the 64-bit version the default browser with conventional weapons if it finds a 32 bit one* knocking around........yes, I wondered at that too. Maybe it'll let you do this if it's got no other option?

Anyway. If you want it, you can get the beta 64-bit flash plugin from Adobe. It does work with YouBoob......

*Hmm, that's got me thinking (and steaming waaay off topic). If one installs W7 *without* 32-bit IE8 and then adds 32-bit FF or Opera, does it take the same "don't allow the 64-bit one as the default" approach? How level is the playing field really these days? Yes, I am being evil there, but they started it......

Foxconn faces leaked report of worker abuse, violence

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Black Helicopters

Re: A very fine line

Hmm, there's quite probably a hidden agenda in there already.

Last I heard, the "Global Times" was renowned for not printing anything that hadn't been effectively dictated to them by the Chinese Government and certainly nothing that hadn't got their seal of approval. Its reputation makes Fox News appear impartial by comparison.

For a handy illustration look at their coverage of a recent Nobel Prize award. Stony "nothing happened today" silence followed by a series of fulminant and outraged articles, once it became bleedin' obvious to even the most casual observer that they were deliberately avoiding the subject and they couldn't get away with keeping schtum any longer.

I suspect that the question that should really be being asked here is: "Why does the Chinese government want to stick the boot into Foxconn?"

Cambridge chap's todger topiary gets the chop

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WTF?

Re: Its hardly a headliner

What? That looks to be about four feet to me, judging from the car in shot.

If you reckon that's small, I have a question for you. How the f*** do you get your feet to touch the ground?

Tesla Motors: Our cars don't burst into flame, but our emails do

TeeCee Gold badge
WTF?

Re: Only doing her job.

In the light of that, we should be grateful that she went to the phenomenal trouble of sending anything at all by way of response to the article.

It must be hellish difficult to type anything when you're that far up your own arse.

French cops claimed to hold secret, illegal gypsy database

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Joke

Oh that's just great!

The French have developed an illegal Gypsy database?

Marvellous. Now we'll have bloody databases wandering around the country and nicking anything that ain't nailed down.....

Aggrieved boffins to march on Whitehall

TeeCee Gold badge
Happy

Re: What do we want? Money!

You expect that with a load of scientists from different disciplines? What would actually happen there would be:

"What do we want?"

<umpteen different responses>

<massive punchup>

Duke Nukem Forever demo'd on video

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Happy

Re: "15 years of being drilled"

Actually the same has had the opposite effect on me.

I take great pleasure in using the time-honoured and correct versions in context whenever the opportunity presents itself. Whenever anyone complains, I get a nice warm feeling from knowing that somewhere along the line I've managed to wind up some pathetic little PC-fixated git.

Blogger stokes iPhone 4 shatter fears

TeeCee Gold badge

"that doesn't sound like the kind of material to crack or shatter"

Er, yes it does.

Generally, hardening a material will also make it more brittle as, while it's tougher and more resistant to scratching, you've also removed flexibilty making it much more likely to crack or snap under excessive stress.

Doctors' appointment system goes tits up

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FAIL

Chaos?

"...chaos has ensued in large medical practices where they don’t keep paper records or paper appointment sheets..."

Personally I don't regard a situation where some eejit has completely overlooked the potential need for a fallback process in the event of failure as a computer problem.

It's a basic common sense problem of the eggs/basket variety.

The worst part of all this is that this is only a Big Fat Hairy Deal 'cos the whole kit 'n kaboodle's gone pear-shaped centrally at once. Now consider whether it makes a difference to a patient of one of these large practices whether the whole thing's down or just that some bloke outside with a jackhammer has drilled through the data cable going into their local surgery.....

Mozilla answers WebKit with first mobile Firefox 4 beta

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Grenade

"Performance is critical in a mobile browser..."

Hmm. Anyone who tried their old MiniMo mobile browser will know that this, which appears at first glance to be bleedin' obvious, is actually something of an epiphany for Mozilla.

Robot teddy bears attack Alzheimer's

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Happy

ROTM?

Don't worry about it. Everyone knows* that attacking Teddy Bears are simple to defeat as they go down easily to a poke in the gut with a candy cane.

*Well, anyone well read enough......

Much of recent global warming actually caused by Sun

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Flame

Re: Warmists rejoice

I dunno. Maybe because, being a Beeb reporter, he has his tongue up the arse of some AGW evangelist?

TeeCee Gold badge
Coat

@Tom Paine

"...it completely misrepresents the paper."

You mean it actually *is* the Sizzling, Soaraway version that's responsible for GW and not that large, thermonuclear furnace the thick end of 100 million miles over thataway?

20% of TVs to ship in 2015 will be 3D, says analyst

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Grenade

Re: And even more than that...

"They are happy to do this...."

Let's see. They can either give you an upgrade and flog you, say, five sets of glasses for 500 quid. Or they can *not* give you an upgrade and flog you a new telly at a couple of grand *and* 500 quid's worth of goggles.

I'll expect my free upgrade shortly after hell freezes over.

Adobe Reader purged of hole that was under attack

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FAIL

Building analogies.

"Building a sandbox into an application as complex as Reader has been compared by some to adding a basement to a 20-story building after it's already been erected."

I can't help thinking that it would be better all round if the world just admitted that it was on a hiding to nothing, had the building demolished and got a more reputable contractor in to build a new one. Maybe one with doors on it that lock rather than just a load of holes in the walls that anyone can walk through......

Google TV mimics Android's closed openness

TeeCee Gold badge

300 bucks?

That would have been a "tough sell" even if there were no cheap-as-chips Apple product already out there.

As there is, I reckon "tough" doesn't cut it and "impossible" might be a better term. Particularly as the Apple product will be more likely to play nice with yer average punter's iPod, iPhone, iPad, iUnderpants, iWhatever.

I suspect that this ship's sailed and no amount of swimming like a bastard by Google is going to get 'em on board.

Little Chef in 'I ♥ Charlie' t-shirt outrage

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Coat

Re: If this had been several years ago...

Yes that would work nicely to pimp your ride.

A bumper sticker on one end and big hooters on the other......

TeeCee Gold badge
Happy

Re: IT Angle

Except of course that for the next version of "Monarch", "Charlie" is only the development name and it's already been said that the RTM version will be called "George".

I reckon it's something to do with being as nutty as a fruitcake and talking to plants myself.

TeeCee Gold badge
Happy

"....available in small, medium, large and XL...."

If my recollection of what's on offer in yer average Little Chef is anything to go by, they'd do better ditching the Small/Medium sizes and adding XXL, XXXL, etc.

Unless they're expecting the wearer's fondness for Charlie to burn off all those calories of course......

UK energy industry mugs customers

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Grenade

Re: It's a shame

The ideal: "But utilities... water, gas, electricity, should be owned by the people and any net profit should be invested in maintaining and upgrading the infrastructure around those utilities."

The reality: "But utilities... water, gas, electricity, should be owned by the people and any net profit should be splurged on whatever looks like a vote winner this week and/or vast overmanning to keep the unemployment figures looking good, while the infrastructure around those utilities goes to hell in a handbasket."

It seems that the population has a collective short memory (about 20 years I reckon). That's the only way I can understand how it is that people seem to have forgotten the useless, incompetant, complacent monolithic piles of user-hating complete and utter shite that were: British Rail, GPO Telecoms, British Gas (Ok, not much change there, but at least you can go somewhere else now), etc ad nauseum. A special award should go to the Central Electricity Generating Board, who you would have sworn to God were getting a kickback from candle sales given the number of times they turned all the fucking lights off.

I have the perfect answer. Every time some lefty fool bangs on about the merits of nationalisation to me, I just look 'em in the eye and say two words: "British Leyland".

Research links laptops to 'toasted skin syndrome'

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Coat

Re: Quick Preventative:

Your Mum's wrong, cool people use RuneQuest manuals.

NB: Don't use Chivalry and Sourcery manuals. The heat causes the glue to degrade and makes the pages fall out.

Apple buys out $1bn data center squatters

TeeCee Gold badge
Stop

Define "nice".

I suspect that it's more like "what's good for them" and any perceived "niceness" in there is purely illusory.

I'd be willing to bet that someone took a guess at how long legal proceedings might run for, multiplied that by the amount it's costing 'em every day this thing isn't being built, added on a ballpark figure for legal costs and came up with a figure somewhere seriously north of 1.7 million.

Or, in other words, paying 'em to f*** off quickly is pure, venal self-interest on Apple's part and the world moves along unchanged.

Legendary steampunk computer 'should be built' - programmer

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@Ian Halstead

Holy shit! Moore's Law is actually a corrollary to Boyle's Law?

Who saw that coming?

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Troll

Obvious question.

Will it run Crysis?

NASA's WISE loses its chill

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Coat

203°C = "warmer temperatures"?

Where do *they* go for their summer holidays? Hell?

Tony Curtis goes to grave with iPhone

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Coat

"...porn big wheel Ron Jeremy."

He's a big wheel? I thought he was more famous for his big.....&>^%#!$??^%$%&#

+++

NO CARRIER

London Transport plans Oyster bypass

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FAIL

Re: And the there's this

What Could Possibly Go Wrong there then?

<Steals wallet>

"Oooooo Jackpot!!!! This card says it's got 20 grand in remaining credit on it, time to get that Rolex."

TeeCee Gold badge
Flame

Re: Bad idea.

"...if you're paying £400 a year for tax then perhaps you should consider replacing it with something more socially responsible."

Gosh you really are just so much fucking holier than the rest of us, aren't you. I am humbled in your presence.

Then again, maybe you're just a rich git who can afford to buy a new car every time the CO2 nazis get their knickers in a knot. In that case I'm not humbled, just jealous.

Flakey scales brand Commonwealth boxers bunch of blobs

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Coat

Balls of steel required.

Who here would stand in a pack of professional pugilists and accuse them all of being fat bastards?

TeeCee Gold badge
Coat

Re: Best. Quote. Ever

I can't help wondering how a disembodied arm got a boxing license.

Odd place Australia......

US navy to battle Iranian mini-ekranoplan swarms with rayguns

TeeCee Gold badge
Stop

Why lasers?

Apart from the obvious "look, it's NEW, can we have a fat development grant please?" angle of course.

They already have those "turn a passing shell into swiss cheese" computer controlled gatling "goalkeeper" thingies. I'd have thought a selection of boring old skool 20mm cannon distributed around a ship coupled to a control system borrowed off "goalkeeper" would ensure any "swarm" of speedboats / crap seaplanes / mullahs in dinghys would be toast before they got close enough to be worrying. A dozen* 20mm rounds each will put paid to such, if you can guarantee that they'll hit the damned things and computer control would sort that nicely.

Best of all, defending the ship from such becomes a matter of: press "auto-defence" button / make tea / see what's on TV....

*Economical with the ammo too, always important in a recession that.

Hundreds of Americans, bystanders injured playing video games

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Thumb Up

Same old, same old....

Picture the scene: An evening in an office sometime in the early/mid 1990s. Four geeky types sit at screens distributed around the floor.

One of the geeky types looks at his screen running DOOM, sees someone peeking round a corner, selects the Rocket Launcher and hammers the fire button three times in quick succession.

From the other side of the floor there's a loud <CRASH> as a geek-laden wheelie chair impacts a wall sideways at near-relativistic velocity, spilling its contents onto the floor, to the accompaniment of a selection of coarse anglo-saxon terms indicating some personal injury.

Playing DOOM deathmatch while sat on wheeled chairs could be quite hazardous.