Posts by 4a$$Monkey

What they really need is...

A giant pirate galleon shaped airship data-centre!

OMG Best BOFH in ages

Nice one!

John Doe has set their status to deceased

Coat please o/

It is an image but...

This is so going to fail in court.

1) It needs to be obscene not just nude to be illigal

2) If this counted you might as well say a X-ray or MMR scan of children are also illegal

ARCH need to STFU!

Calculator Enthusiasts

I was not aware these people existed and I am now a little scared.

Need to brick your iPhone?

There's an app for that!

supporting Global War On Terror requirements

Isn't that called Fox News?

You F#@&ing catch it!

Did they try to give it a fruit pastille?

http://preview.tinyurl.com/5sa2pp [Probably NSFW]

Badgers because its not a F#@&ing rat

FAKE!

Clearly they had some kind of automated footprint making robot. But I'm not fooled! NO SIREE!!

remove the armament...

...or maybe not!

Could be a big market for rich red-neck big game hunters!

"Ay git ma a Geostationary burd! Ye ha!!!"

The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy...

Is it not time all iStories carry the ROTM tag!

Apple are clearly under the control of the Lizard Alliance!!!!!!!!1111

Topless terrorist avoid being shot at!

AL Qaeda training camps are going to be sooo much better :P

Wrong type of pirate

I'll put my tricorne away then :o(

To users of unfamiliar web browsers

Using IE6 - upgrade already!

Using Chrome - more likely to go for Chocolate Factory apps

Using Opera - Why?

Using Safari on Windows - WTF? Even the Fanboys know its shit!

They will get a market share...

... because the fanboys will use anything apple make regardless of how s*** it is.

Google Apps is really not that great.

I wouldn't pay for it. I'd rather pay for MS Office or use open office.

Google Apps sharing feature is about the only good thing going for it.

Sponging benefits claimants

Computer says no.

Best BOFH for ages!

Great episode Simon!

Status: 4a$$Monkey is currently searching for porn

Hmmm I think I won't be signing up

FFS WHY?

Why? Just why would you do that?

Fantastic

Best BOFH in ages! Great work Simon.

Ignore all the idiots who failed to get the fake introduction.

I often find my screen is fuzzy after using Stella

About 6 cans normally does the tick

Kim Il-sung is going to be pissed off!

His flying laser money project is going less well!

Great article

I was wondering how long it would take for a scathing article from El Reg and this does not disappoint.

You are all wrong

It is well known that the moon is made of cheese. I would have thought you would know that!

It may be that if it wasn't for Facebook...

"It may be that if it wasn't for Facebook, some students would still find other ways to avoid studying"

Err... Beer?

Steampunk

What the hell is that? If it is not made of brass and nicely polished hardwood what is the point building a steam car?

No sense of style!

Best story of the week

Oh I thought it was Friday for a second :(

ROTM

Can I be the first to point out it is all well and good until the flying "death bots" with "freakin laser beams" decide we are are the the ones that need to be wiped out!

FLEE!

Optional extras

How much for the rocket launcher or mini gun turret options?

Why?

Get the boffins back on something useful like flying cars or breeding monkeys with wings!

Sigh

What I want to know is who voted for her? <clickety> ah Redditch that explains it...

Redditch you suck!

Elements

Its a bit off topic but on the IceCube site is says:

"We actually use large volumes of ice below the South Pole to watch for the rare neutrino that crashes into an atom of ice."

So Ice is an element? Have they thought out using atoms of Fire, Earth and Air?

ROTM?

Where is the ROTM flag?

How are we supposed to keep track of the fearsome escalation in arms bringing us closer and closer to cybergedon?

Has the Reg been taken over by the machines?

Ahhhhhhhhhh

re: A word of warning

1) You installed a beta OS on your PC and didn't backup your files.

2) You formatted a volume and didn't double check it was the right one.

You fail at IT!

Oh and Windows 7 is great - it is what Vista should have been.

spum-churning zombies

"spum-churning zombies" is this a new term I'm not aware of or is it a typo? Frankly I'm not prepared to goggle it to find out!

/mines the one without the spum on it!

WFT is Web 4.0?

You just made that up didn't you.

Re: I'm fed up with ugly women complaining.

Can this guy get a comment of the year award?

"This stonking great child molester"

Fantastic quote!

ROFL

Ministry of Humour

Perhaps the government should establish a ministry for humour so they can vet what we should find funny. I mean what is the world coming to when you can't make dead prostitute jokes?

A title is required.

Customer > Hello Microsoft support, my machine is running slow.

MS Support > What OS are you running?

Customer > Vista...

MS Support > Well you should have installed Lin#BEEP#... you stu#BEEP#... twa#BEEEEEP#...

Would a window really help?

Aren't your pretty much boned if there is a major systems failure on a modern jet?

MS can't count

1)1.xx

2) 2.xx

3) 3.xx

4) NT3

5) 95

6) NT4

7) 98

8) ME

9) 2000

10) XP

11) Vista

12) Windows 7

12 Not 7!

re: So, how serious is he ...

I think you will find they are going to have full of shit tattooed on them...

http://tinyurl.com/4x5f2b

Paris because you can't have a Fellate story without her!

re: You can't just hammer hard drives in big companies

I work in the education sector and we have over the last few weeks replaced about a hundred desktops and disposed of a handful of old servers. I know that's not a massive scale but it's not insignificant. In most cases Shred worked fine, with a few we had to use other tools and there were a dozen or so failed drives that had to be physical destroyed.

Yes it is a pain and it takes time but it has to be done*. Its the "too much time" attitude that cause these leaks.

*Think of the Children** :P

** Actually its people thinking of the Children that cause us to have to wipe everything :D