Not so bad a function if you are on your way back into the UK...
Pilot : Ladies and Gentlemen, we shall soon be arriving at London Gatwick...
Passengers : Then hit the pre-set altitude limit and turn us the f**k around!!
Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse
2451 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Sep 2007
Page:
Software bug in Bombardier airliner made planes turn the wrong way
Wipro names new CEO: Former Capgemini COO Thierry Delaporte
Friday 29th May 2020 08:07 GMT
Beating HCL...
The strategy for beating HCL is by using their own strategy against them. Underbid massively on everything to win the contracts, dispute everything and then fail to deliver on anything that has been agreed commercially until the lawyers get involved; and then deliver late, below quality and over budget anyway.
Well, that's something boffins haven't seen before: A strange alien streaks around Jupiter
Competition? We've heard of it. MoD snubs cloud rivals to hand Microsoft £17.7m Azure hosted services gig
Equifax finally coughs up the money for its 2017 monster hack… to the banks for having to cancel your cards
Tuesday 19th May 2020 09:16 GMT
Re: Ah, Register, you optimistic fools you....
Yes it's quite a quaint and charming rose-tinted view of the world isn't it to assume that the whole US Financial services industry is set up to do anything other than serve it's so called customers.
The US Financial sector is as blatantly rotten to the core as is its Legal and Political systems.
Sky Broadband is not the UK's cheapest, growls ad watchdog
Wednesday 13th May 2020 15:45 GMT
Yep. That's exactly the first thing that jumped out at me. I'm pretty sure it means that when you turn on their router you'll get 2 litres of wifi - guaranteed. Just like all of the other providers.
I'm with VM and I get 3 litres of wifi - guaranteed!! And a nice plastic measuring jug to keep it in.
The Rise of The (Coffee) Machines: I need assistance. I think I'm running Windows. Send help
US piles yet more charges on Theranos CEO, COO. We could do with good blood testing now... and this wasn't it
Psst... Wanna buy some stock in a spaceplane company? Virgin would like a word
Papa don't breach: Contracts, personal info on Madonna, Lady Gaga, Elton John, others swiped in celeb law firm 'hack'
Serial killer spotted on the night train from Newcastle
HCL finishes its year with 15 percent growth, 100 million minutes-a-month Teams usage
Thursday 7th May 2020 08:28 GMT
Perhaps everyone else gets their "good" resources...
Maybe it's just my misfortune or dumb luck of having had to inherit HCL on two separate ERP programmes for different clients; but my overriding experience of them as a company is that in terms of thought leadership, project/programme management and "feet on the ground" implementation skill and knowledge, that they are absolutely hopeless. Worse even than Wipro - and they have taken some beating.
My overriding view on HCL is that they get their contracts by always bidding low (which the end client accountants love) and then they try to actually make their profits via commercial disputes and by the overzealous issuance of CRs.
Data centre reveals it modeled interiors on The Hunt for Red October sets
The Great British anti-5G fruitcake Bakeoff: Group hugs, no guns, and David Icke
Monday 4th May 2020 15:39 GMT
Re: Suggestions ...?
Ignore them? Don't feed the trolls? Empty cans rattle the most?
I'd assume it's because most of these people have got nothing better to say, and will most likely say anything to make themselves feel a bit better about having nothing to say. Or maybe they are just thick or a bit pretentiously contrary for effect.
I'm always reminded of the Rise of the Idiots by Dan Ashcroft.
#Trashbat.co.ck
Monday 4th May 2020 15:30 GMT
Icky Icke...
Leave Icke alone. He's a very funny man. I spent a weekend near the Forest of Bowland at one of his PAN meetings back in the 90's and it was hilarious. I might add though that even he is not quite as amusing as the Scientologisty idiots that used to canvas for Dianetics volunteers in Chichester High Street also in the 90's. They were really fun to taunt.
Looking back... I think my entire 90's were spent totally smashed on grass whilst taunting philosophical nutcases edge cases.
Facebook defers $3bn of infrastructure spend because it's hard to build bit barns when you're working from home
Guess which cloud giant Zoom picked to handle millions more video calls? Bzzt, wrong answer: It's Oracle
Nine million logs of Brits' road journeys spill onto the internet from password-less number-plate camera dashboard
Florida man might just stick it to HP for injecting sneaky DRM update into his printers that rejected non-HP ink
Wednesday 29th April 2020 08:59 GMT
Re: I expect I'll get a ton of downvotes BUT
Eh? Explain this to me again as I'm not sure I understand your logic... "they can't give away a printer and then giveaway the ink it's just not feasible." But that is exactly what they have done - as part of their corporate business model.
So how then is it that "consumers only have themselves to blame for this situation"?
I would say its got nothing to do with the consumer, and everything to do with HP trying to maximise and prop-up continually falling profits that via marketing, keeps the wool pulled firmly over the fact that all they do is shill a boring technology that they haven't themselves advanced in the best part of 10 years.
Wednesday 29th April 2020 08:46 GMT
Indeed. It's all a self fulfilling circle jerk of having to keep up the revenue to keep funding the advertising to keep trying to kid consumers into believing that these tedious and long established products are still exciting and relevant and not really just a smoke screen to cover up the fact that all these companies really do is produce razors and printer ink. I can't see that the world would be any worse off without either Gillette or HP around. They are both in markets where there are well established competitors and alternatives - and that scares them both shitless.
So... y'all gotta keep up that advertising now!!!!
Lords: New IR35 off-payroll tax rules 'riddled with problems, unfairnesses, unintended consequences'
Tuesday 28th April 2020 07:26 GMT
Hmmm, it's incredible how forthright and confident in your appear to be in your post, but in reality how completely and utterly wrong you are. I can quite legally make tens, hundreds or thousands of pounds of income through my stocks and shares ISA via dividend yields or capital gains; or via interest paid on my cash ISA - and there is still absolutely no need to declare it on my SA100.
You need to start reading up on things.
Why should the UK pensions watchdog be able to spy on your internet activities? Same reason as the Environment Agency and many more
Thursday 23rd April 2020 08:03 GMT
Re: Sunset clauses and jury oversight are needed.
I don't disagree with the sentiment of your post at all. But I think this is debatable : "I suspect if the public knew more about this there would be more concern". My view is that the wider public don't give a crap because Facebook, cat videos, Alexa, Instacrap and Netflix whilst at the same time being probably more preoccupied with worries about just keeping their heads above water financially.
Unfortunately I think we're still only at the thin end of the wedge. And yes, whilst I may come off sounding a little "conspiracy theorist" or "prepper mentality" : I do think there is an insidious element of social engineering going on in the background as an enabler.
Netflix says subscriptions just boomed but tells investors it's no money heist and they should expect stranger things
Ex-TalkTalk infosec exec's equal pay and unfair dismissal claims tossed out at tribunal
Looking for a tech job? Have a browse – there are plenty of roles in our biggest listing yet
Friday 17th April 2020 11:47 GMT
Well done El Reg. Keep it going.
This is still a great idea - well done chaps for keeping it going; and best of luck to anyone or everyone who is currently seeking a position. Hope you manage to get something sorted really soon.
On another subject, and it's probably not overly PC, but I'd quite like to hire the girl in the accompanying pic. She's my favourite out of the revolving plethora of stock pictures used across the site.
ICANN's founding CEO and chair accuse biz of abandoning principles in push for billion-dollar .org sale
IBM age discrimination lawsuit suddenly ends, suggests Big Blue was willing to pay to avoid discovery process
WeWork sues SoftBank over 'AWOL' $3bn shares purchase – which included millions lined up for ousted CEO Neumann
Wednesday 8th April 2020 14:58 GMT
Awwwww poor old Adam Neumann...
I normally don't wish people ill-will... but I really do hope he's already gone out and bought the Porsche and the gazillionaire lifestyle on credit before the deal is actually done. His own finances will then be in the same state as the farcical valuation that was put on his low grade lettings agency.
Softbank, hopefully not too late, have now realised this; hence all the mewing from the snouts at the tough.
New IBM CEO Arvind Krishna says hybrid cloud will be bigger than mainframes, services, middleware
Tuesday 7th April 2020 11:53 GMT
What a pile of old bollocks!!!
What a pile of meaningless old bollocks!!! Lots of talk but no actual strategy.
IBM won't get anywhere if they don't start realising that the front-line staff are still the most important people. Not the 768,000 layers of white-collar dead wood between them and the CEO.
Reg fashion special: Top designer says 'video chat accessories' are in for spring!
UK judge gives Google a choice: Either let SEO expert read your ranking algos or withdraw High Court evidence
Cabinet Office dangles £15m for help ditching its Single Operating Platform for cloud-based ERP system
Do you want to be an astronaut when you grow up? Yeah, you and 12,000 others: NASA flooded with folks hoping to visit Moon, Mars
Fitbit unfurls last new wearable before it's gobbled by Google, right on time for global pandemic lockdown
Who's going to pay for Britain's Aunty Beeb to carry on? Broadband users, broadcaster suggests to government
Thursday 2nd April 2020 07:22 GMT
Ummm...
Can we just clear up a pointh here. You don't need a TV licence to own a TV receiver. You need a TV licence to watch TV programmes at the point they are broadcast i.e. watching the 6pm news at 6pm, or to watch content via BBC iPlayer. That's it.
I have a TV but have not paid the licence fee for 6 years as I do not watch either iPlayer or TV at the time it is broadcast. I am quite happily entitled to play on my PS4, stream content from All4 and Netflix and watch DVDs and such like without a TV licence.
Yes I have had the Crapita goons round on a couple of occasions, but a swift "p**s off" is all it takes to make them go away.
At the Supreme Court, Morrisons pops data breach liability win into its trolley – but it's not a get-out-of-compo free card for businesses
Wednesday 1st April 2020 16:50 GMT
Re: Error or malicious act
I agree to a point. But those "limits" can very much be reduced to small percentages. Stating that Morrisons did "everything" they could to prevent data loss is not entirely consistent with allowing him to manually transfer the entire HR data extract onto a USB stick for delivery to KPMG.
Assume Morrisons IT and OpSec teams haven't heard about secure encrypted file transfer or DLP solutions yet?
How many days of carefree wiping do you have left before life starts to look genuinely apocalyptic? Let's find out
Talk about ill-gotten gains: Coronavirus KOs Xerox's $30bn months-long hostile takeover bid of HP Inc
Wednesday 1st April 2020 11:22 GMT
Ugh...
I like the way they slip in the pointless "highly qualified" into the phrase about their board candidates. It's almost as pointless as when restaurants put the word "pan" in front of "...fried anything" on the menu; because thanks for that... I was worried for a moment that it was going to have been fried on an old storage pallet!!!
You're not fooling anyone on that vid-conference call: Walmart says shirt sales soaring, pants not pulled up
Hunting for IT staff? Lost your job during the pandemic? Sysadmin vacancies – and a free job ads offer – inside
Tuesday 31st March 2020 10:52 GMT
Well done El Reg.
This is a great initiative and will hopefully be 100% more effective than a lot of the agencies out there who seem to be mostly staffed by people who seem to know nothing about the technologies or roles that they are recruiting for in the first place, which in turn actually makes the getting of a new role twice as hard as it needs be in these difficult times (or any time for that matter).
Your Agile-built IT platform was 'terrible', Co-Op Insurance chief complained to High Court
Monday 23rd March 2020 15:56 GMT
Re: Another Agile project screwed because of fools who don't understand what it is meant to be about
Re your point (ii) : Yes this confused me as well. Even if as IBM say, that they were hit with "large" change requests, surely they would have managed those as per any programme/project change request process which (depending on the size and scope) would have triggered a mutual governance conversation re the impact on overall time and cost via an exception report?
Sure, slightly different for Agile, but none the less, I'm not sure why IBM seem to have baulked at it so hard, unless the Co-Op at this point had realised that IBM had sold them a dead dog?
Monday 23rd March 2020 14:28 GMT
OOTB?
OOTB with 9 months agile customization? That sounds neither OOTB or particularly "agile" to me and would have set my alarm bells ringing from day one. It would also add a lot to the TCO in terms of ongoing maintenance and upgrades if they are customizing the base software code.
Did he mean 9 months "configuration"? Even if so, that still doesn't sound particularly OOTB.
Surge in home working highlights Microsoft licensing issue: If you are not on subscription, working remotely is a premium feature
Forget James Bond's super-gadgets, this chap spied for China using SD card dead drops. Now he's behind bars
Thursday 19th March 2020 16:05 GMT
Why put this in quotes...
Why highlight this via quotes : "training in traditional Chinese medicine"?
It has been almost proven on multiple occasions that traditional Chinese medicine is nearly 0.0001% effective even for those refuseniks that believe in fairy tales and has had almost no massive impact on already highly endangered species like Rhinocerosses, Heffalumps, Tigers and Whales and such like at all...
Oh...
IBM puts 1,248 frontline techies at risk of redundo, warns of data centre closures
Thursday 19th March 2020 09:54 GMT
Alternatively...
Alternatively IBM could remove huge costs by rationalising and restructuring 3 layers of EMEA level management and then sweating those remaining "managers" much harder. Thereby retaining the continually battered but talented front-line staff that actually do the work.
I guess that strategy just doesn't play to the maximisation of bonuses and dividends by the utilisation of cheap Indian and Asian labour though does it.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
