Posts by Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

Great... when will all of the marketing consultants be off there?

Presumably in the "B-ark"?

I find it helps to have nomadic reclusive tendencies...

The last thing I want to see over any form of public or other occasion are the mewing brattish faces of someone or their wife/husband/offspring/dog/cat/house/car etc that I either don't like or don't remember plastered on a last minute greetings card from this bunch of cowboys, or that other bunch of fuckwits Funky fucking pigeon (that I assume are either part of the same company or equally as shit when it comes to security).

/end_rant

But...

Nothing will change until the "actual" board are held accountable - publicly.

Whilst there is no excuse, it is normally some poor overworked sod in IT who has had his budget cut to the bare bones that takes the fall for these issues rather than the money grabbing fucktards at the very top.

In his defence...

His defence was based around the statement of "well, I was only replicating what I learned at my US business school".

So how does Amazon "autorip" get away with it?

Last time I bought a CD from Amazon I was also able to download a digital copy for free.

HP...

Unsurprisingly shit.

What an absolute fucking scam...

"Here's a piece of air - we've labelled this particular one '3.2GHz' please give me a gazeeelion pounds for it."

RE : Jobs is not God, Apple is not heaven.

To be honest I chose to not cross a room to watch The Social Network, but ended up watching it by mistake on a flight anyway - and very much enjoyed it.

Love him or hate him...

In everything he's done he's always seemed like a guy who has put his money where his mouth is, so fair play to him.

I was hopeful....

That the Apple watch would have function enough to be a replacement (with a decent app) for either the Garmin 910xt or Suunto Ambit. Seeing as they have well and truly missed that boat I've just bought the Ambit 3 which is functionally awesome.

So...

"The "reset" category has been applied to the Universal Credit project."

Perhaps at the next election the public would be good enough to press the "reset" button on IDS.

An honest question...

Do they have to change things to market this in Germany? I'm just asking as I really don't know the answer, and I'm not sure how these sorts of things go down in de Fazerland.

Yes, but...

It's not just Abrams, and do I have some sympathy for him because whatever he does he will be hero to some and villain to others; but the media at large have to take some responsibility in hyping up these and other movies into states that they can never live up to.

"Regular brits"

That's like, all of us right?

Well if this is the way it's starts...

By Twattering something as pointless as a clapperboard, you can rest assured that there will be no point in actually going to see the film when it's released as there will be absolutely no mystery left as to what it is or what it is about.

Shame.

Sorry, but you are incorrect Alistair.

Cloud computing is not FAIL. It is the future and you have to do it because that's what the "experts" are selling, and if you don't then unfortunately lots of advertising executives will go hungry.

And who wants to be responsible for that?

'Ecky thump!!!!

Crikey... I'd love to see the business analyst or consultancy report that sits behind this re-org as I'm sure it would make for very interesting reading (yes I am being serious); and whilst I have every sympathy for those about to lose their jobs, I also have just about as much for those keeping or inheriting them.

I guess we'll just sit back and watch the fireworks. From a very safe distance.

Just me then...

Just me then that seems to be the only happy VM customer here?

When you consider that all of these companies are all pretty much the same, I had no problems with ordering, lead time, installation or ongoing service - in fact the two installers were two of the happiest and pleasant chaps I've met in a long time, and the 50Mb BB is reliable and quick.

The only downside to the whole shebang that I still have to pay a £13 monthly standing charge for a phone line that I never use.

Ahhh that makes sense...

The ancient... George Lucas. The fear... that he will direct it.

@ No single point of failure...

I would assume that by design these schedulers, whilst independent on a BAU basis - have been implemented in some form of distributed HA configuration and can assume workload for another in the event of an outage; or at the very least each independent scheduler solution has it's own HA config.

At least I hope that's what they have done.

ROFL BT...

"Our research shows that the vast majority of customers are happy with their service," he added.

Based on what? The fact that you've not heard from them? That's only because they've most likely given up in frustration trying to get through to your shockingly bad call centre.

I know I'll get downvoted but...

All that springs to mind when reading these updates is the intent and lyrics to Common People by Pulp.

Well perhaps it's more a chance to...

Remember that whimsical industrial dumping of this type is no longer really tolerable and to dispose of them in a decent manner. Put them all on eBay for the collectors of flying BMXs, and the stranded Aliens amongst us.

The recurring issue that I am seeing with Oracle, SAP et al...

In terms of new developments, patches and fixes is that the overall level of QA and regression testing completed by these development teams is shockingly bad to the point that I now have to consider us as the end client "beta testers" for pretty much everything that comes out - and I do not think that this is by chance either. It now means that I have to add an extra contingency cost to balance that risk on every Oracle ERP and SAP project that kicks off.

I rewrote it for you...

"Using your example it is like Ford, Vauxhall, Porsche, Volkwagen, Volvo, BMW etc etc charging £1500 for sat nav rather than the £200 a decent Tom Tom will cost."

Oh... they'd never do that surely?

There is no title.

"We're eagerly looking forward to introducing more new products and services that only Apple could bring to market."

ROFL.

Theoretically...

"presumably for use by the rich execs who work at the top of it"

So, the more morbid part of my mind is trying to work out whether it would be best to work at the top, middle or bottom when one of these super high buildings collapses under the weight of its own hubris?

@ Winkypop

Are you suggesting that Bitcoins migrate?

The Kraken wakes...

They've been down there all that time... waiting for the right moment to strike...

Why so slow...

MacGuyver would have done it in 3.

Give that arrogant and petulant child a slap.

Where is the "Become an IT technician and earn up to £30,000 per year" course?

Double edged sword...

Great to know that this OpenSSL flaw is being publicized, but it probably hasn't helped that almost all tech and news publications have dissected in very great detail the flaw itself, and how to exploit it.

@ 1.07billion in lost profits??

"These must be the same guys who say that piracy is causing billions of dollars worth of lost sales and destroying the "free" market"

And to add, that they also totally failed to justify how they reached the figure of "billions" as quoted.

@ Bloody amateurs...

I raise your Talk Talk... with Co-Operative energy.

There is incompetence - and then there is plain and stupid fuckwittery - across their whole "customer service" department; which I now realize seemingly only comprises of around 2 people if their stated 10 day response time to emails, and the never ending "call queue" is anything to go by.

Personally...

For me at least, this whole "audiophile" thing is a bit pointless. Listening to music for me is all about actually listening to the music. Rhythm, message, overall composition etc etc.

I'm just as happy sticking on my 1978 copy of DSotM as I am my 2008 CD version.

@ Semtex451

"I blame the BBC and others for encouraging Twitter adoption by referencing it in various shows at every opportunity."

I agree. The winter Olympics coverage on the BBC became nigh on unwatchable due to all of the enforced "hashtag this" and "hashtag that" and "hashtag x" and "hashtag y" crap being spewed.

If Carrie Fisher were Turkish...

"The more you tighten your grip, Turk, the more tweets will slip through your fingers."

No doubt the conversation went something like this...

"Yes, that's fine Dell, we're the government so we're happy for you to start the build and config work at risk while we raise the necessary purchase order against our supplier framewor... oh..."

Re Leo & Autonomy...

"JUST BUY THE DAMN COMPANY. I DON'T CARE HOW, OR FOR HOW MUCH - JUST BUY IT!!!"

PS : I think that's exactly how it went.

Control

"We want the option to be in control, even if we never exercise it."

But that is the last thing in the world that MS want you to have. The cluster fuck of a PR exercise on the 6 month run up to the launch of their new console proves that they want to own everything and allow you the privilege only of "licensing" your £50 piece of software. If it weren't for the media shitstorm that followed their announcements then you'd be stuck unable to re-sell validly purchased software.

I'm not aware that the user is able to sign up to an SLA when playing online as MS only goal is get as many players ringfenced onto their solution as possible.

Yeah... I suppose it would be funny...

If it were funny.

Queue simulator...

For those that can't queue enough.

Ok, so...

First sites that host "protected content" (whatever the f**k that actually means), then I have no doubt that this will be extended to sites that do not agree with EU or government policy or opinion and such like?

This whole judgement is wrong on so many levels. But by that ruling I am assuming that the highways agency can now be held accountable for allowing criminals access to jewellery stores and banks yes?