Posts by Scott Broukell

Yes palm oil cultivation has very little benefit for the immediate environment etc, but I feel we should be more worried about the amount of bacteria, human fecal matter and drug residue on virtually each and every bank note, be it plastic or linen based in composition.

Quote: " . . head of enforcement at the ICO said: “People put their trust in lawyers . . "

More worryingly: People put their (blind) trust in computers.

Flash in the pan

Hair today, gone tomorrow.

I'm sorry for your loss Mrs.Buttle, but, you see, your husband was using the autonomous vehicle in entirely the wrong way when it inexplicably veered of the road in excess of three times the proscribed speed limit. Then, whilst comatose in hospital, as far as we can determine, he deliberately held his limbs in the wrong position whilst the Robo-surgeon performed it's life saving tasks. Such an unforgivably stubborn attitude on his part did not help matters and we really tried our best to reassemble his major organs once we had re-programmed the surgeon bot. However, sadly, later on, prior to being delivered to the auto-morgue, it would appear his remains were bagged by the hospital waste-bot for immediate incineration, because, due entirely to his earlier reluctance to cooperate with those programmed to help, there simply weren't enough bits of him left in the right places for the waste-bot to make any other identification.

But rest assured that your custom does matter to us and that, going forward, future patients will have learned lessons from this and therefore be better able to comply with such automated emergency response technology in ways that bring meaningful, positive, results for all. In the end your late husband has to take all the blame for the tragic outcome. Thank you.

Does this mean that recycling events will take place in the velodrome?

It may be worth noting that random collisions of various gasses coming out of my ring during the recent feeding-frenzied festive period, whilst not exhibiting exactly the same visual results to those shown above, did, however, cause dramatic acceleration upon nearby relative objects (aunts and uncles etc) which were seen to separate away from the center of the event described at dramatic speeds not previously observed. Just saying.

'Help the IoT' drive

Please can you Drive the IoT over the edge of a very, very, very tall cliff, thank you. (Optionally with the added benefit of a very, very, very large anvil).

EU Switch - Sign up Today!

We take the pain out of changing the focus of your sovereign constitutional and legal frameworks. Want to change today! No problem, just phone or sign up on our website and we will arrange for either joining or leaving the political union of your choice. It really couldn't be easier! Fed up with threats and bullying from all sides, just make your mind up which way you want to go and leave the rest to us.

Internet

of

(Your)

Transmissible

Information

on

Tat

(You)

ought

to

Incinerate

Wow!

I've not heard of this kind of thing happening before, is this a new thing! On the other hand I feel quite sure that it won't be long before those at the top put at stop to it ever happening again!

So it's like the . . . .

Top Ology of the Year award?

<gets coat>

Well I for one . . .

Am eagerly looking forward to every green lane, hamlet, town and city being bang up to date, on message and IoT-hipster friendly. Just like last year, when it was announced that every household in the land has at least two 3D-Printers chuntering away in the background (doing something wow!). /s

Ok, HAL, listen up, I would like you to perform an emergency stop when I strike the dashboard with this 'ere clipboard.

Zzzzzt - Oi!, that bloody well hurt, what are you doing . . . . nooooo!

The Thing is . . . .

Currently this 'Google' thing is all about our SmartPhones, PCs and SmartTVs. Just you wait till the global IoT roll out! Then our fridges will start sending / displaying messages about how the neighbours fed their kids simulated roast chicken entrail McGunk with xtra chili mayo and they really loved it! Wow! – so here's a 10% off e-voucher you can use with your next on-line shop. Our washing machines will tell us that an optical scan of those novelty boxers you bought four years ago shows that the fabric is in a poor state of deterioration and they should be replaced pronto – here's an e-voucher for those – Plus! A recommendation that you use Splungo-Wash-Blu-Matic detergent in future and here's a 10% voucher for that product, no wait, your Smart-Shopper(TM) has already been contacted by the washer-dryer and has called ahead and ordered that with your next shop – Really Smart!

A rather bleak outlook if you ask me – but then we are no doubt becoming lazy and / or our behaviour is being modified towards, laziness, due in no small part to our voluntary adoption of all this wonderful technology! The more we adopt this apparently smart technology, AI-driven, deterministic life-style, the less we think for ourselves!

I can feel the pull of Google Gravity right now, gently coaxing me towards the final plummet into the abyss of data numbness - it's only an itty-bitty profile you created for yourself on our servers - what harm could come of it.

Can we just keep it as dumb computers and smart humans please.

(I know, I know, it's all right, and thank you, but I do know the way back to my cave from here)

So basically . . .

If you are too effing thick to comprehend / manage / control / understand your domestic energy consumption, then you need a lot more than a crappy 'smart' meter.

Mate of mine has an IT job with Southern Rail - he is employed to go around the main office all day and close any optical drive bay trays that he finds open.

No Problem . . .

I feel quite sure that once the craft is stationary for a short while a little green, bug-eyed, alien will pop out of nowhere with a bucket and squeegee to clean up the panels and then demand 200 Galactic Credits for his efforts.

Well I for one sincerely hope when they do finally spot some aliens that faces and number plates will automatically be blurred - I mean we don't want to invoke any outrage over privacy, especially if they have more advanced technology / weaponry.