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* Posts by Scott Broukell

751 posts • joined 20 Sep 2007

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SCISYS sidesteps Brexit: Proposes Irish listing to keep EU space work rolling in

Scott Broukell

Re: I'm not sure it's that easy

"I would have thought there'd be . . ." a get-out clause / provision, with a fully workable formula, agreed, openly discussed and regularly updated by all member states, BUT NO! nobody in the EU ever thought that one day a nation state(s) would want to go it alone! (what the actual f*ck).

2
1

Decoding the Chinese Super Micro super spy-chip super-scandal: What do we know – and who is telling the truth?

Scott Broukell

Should we be worried ?

We recently had our pet cat `chipped' by a vet of Chinese ethnicity and she now spends increasing amounts of time curled up right next to the broadband router!

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1

UK should set its own tax on tech giants if international deal isn't reached – Chancellor

Scott Broukell
Meh

Win win win with new technologies!

Or how about, for a small negotiated slice of the action, HMRC team up with FB and they seamlessly collect import/export duties across the EU border on our behalf! That way FB would be on a nice little earner that would go some way to offset the taxation levied on their own UK business! Plus, any non-payers, could find fwends and family getting a knock at the door to cough up whats due! /S

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Bouncing robots land on asteroid 180m miles away amid mission to fetch sample for Earth

Scott Broukell

No, no, no, no, no

See, what you've got there right, are a load of replacement washing machine parts, only they've bloomin' gone and delivered the things to the wrong asteroid. Bloody typical. These were obvously destined for fixing the Rosetta probe!

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National Museum of Computing to hold live Enigma code-breaking demo with a Bombe

Scott Broukell

Message Reads -

Send three and fourpence we are going to a dance <message ends>

5
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It's mid-year report time, let's see how secure corporate networks are. Spoiler alert: Not at all

Scott Broukell

Internet Cannibals

(sorry, me again)

Remember when the internet was young and both it and networking were all one lovely easy to manage level playing field? But, as time has gone by, that initial flat security landscape has now morphed into one of potential nightmares at every turn! I can't help feeling that the one constant, presenting a most serious and difficult challenge throughout, has been, and continues to be, us - the human meat bags, sandwiched as we are between the two buns of white and black hats, tingling with the sensations of security sales-pitch relish, in the highly processed burger of bytes. However, the reward centres of the human brain, which drive much of our apparent rationality, frequently blinker us with rose-tinted visions. In the good old days a signal went from A to B, via C and D, C and D were considered benign and the risk of a third party intercepting data was virtually nil, yeah! So now the burger still tastes good and we yearn after the yumminess, but, without heading much, if any, of the growing dietary information that tells us to ease up on consumption and take time-out with some tasty security-salad instead. No fast food outlet in the world is what it was thirty or more years ago and the same can be said of our connected world today. But our brains continue to seek the same, if not more, rewards from it. So if you, or your company, or you customers, haven't got a taste for fresh salad, then there is probably little that can be done for you I am afraid. Human nature is what it is, developed over thousands of years, but it is questionable as to whether or not it is currently suited to such connectivity.

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Scott Broukell
Megaphone

It's almost like these companies are saying why should we expend effort/funds to combat something that hasn't caused us any problems as yet? I mean think of the shareholder dividends and bonuses first, then we'll make a spend on the cleanup if something should ever happen, right? A bit like an airline saying that there was absolutely no need for seat belts, life rafts or oxygen masks etc, because flying was so wonderful and safe! Well, we are all up in the air aboard the internet, all of us; your customers, your board members, as well as any miscreants, so safetly and security need to be a principle IT concern all of the time!

5
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Spidey sense is literally tingling! Arachnids detect Earth's electric field, use it to fly away

Scott Broukell

Sorry, nothing to see here, it's obvious, these spiders are simply trying to light their own farts!

5
1

Boffins build neural networks fashioned out of DNA molecules

Scott Broukell
Facepalm

So if we had only involved a group of roundworms in the brexit negotiations things would be far less complex and it would probably all be over by now!

30
2

UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

Scott Broukell

I find that the delivery of such sporting commentary is still more than adequate on the Light program. Plus, at the same time, I can starch my collars for work and darn half a dozen pairs of socks, all under the watchful gaze of Binny the cat, who will be soaking up the last glimmers of warmth from the range. For an extra treat on such occasions as a World Cup, I allow myself some extra bottles of chilled ginger ale! Splendid stuff!

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'90s hacker collective man turned infosec VIP: Internet security hasn't improved in 20 years

Scott Broukell

Re: The Whole Liability Thing

@ GnuTzu

Except that you will most probably find that lawyers acting for, <insert named software/hardware corporation>, can clearly demonstrate beyond any meaningful doubt that any such matters, of which you foretell, are all comprehensively covered in the associated EULA(s).

You and I et al, as end users, will just have to soldier on and keep paying out for SaaS, together with so-called malware protection and monthly updates. I agree, such outcomes are likely to be very messy, but it won't be the peeps at the top who get shafted, it never is.

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Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon

Scott Broukell

Well then. now that they have started to arrive on these shores, can we get a move on planing/designing their replacement please.

7
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1,300 customers of Brit bank TSB defrauded due to botched IT migration

Scott Broukell
Meh

I just can't wait for the advent of the cashless society, what with so many banks and financial institutions regularly demonstrating their proven ability to provide solid, secure, IT systems. And that they will all obviously prioritize getting the best, knowledgeable, in-house, tech-wonks to manage it, at considerable cost to themselves, so that their customer base can be confident with regard to reliability, security and helpfulness. I really can't wait.

12
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John McAfee plans 2020 presidential tilt

Scott Broukell

If McAfee is successful in his election campaign then he will need to prepare himself for a large quantity of false-positive stories put out by the media.

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Hacking train Wi-Fi may expose passenger data and control systems

Scott Broukell

Thing is, if somebody did manage to lock the brake system on a Southern Rail train, would anybody actually notice.

30
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I spy with my little eye ... a quantum drum with TRILLIONS of atoms

Scott Broukell

Sometime in the not too distant future . . .

Malware alert puny humans! - your entire reality has been entangled! - please send oodles of dosh now to get your reality back!

10
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Facebook suspends, investigates CubeYou, another data-harvester

Scott Broukell

"Facebook's slow-motion piracy awakening" - There, fixed that for you.

2
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As Zuck apologizes again... Facebook admits 'most' of its 2bn+ users may have had public profiles slurped by bots

Scott Broukell

Just another phishing scam

A great big one that your average punter walks right into, takes all the bait and sees only shiny shiny digital goodness through rose-tinted glasses and then volunteers up vast amounts of very personal data. Well done Mark, in the race to the bottom of the digitally connected world you are certainly top spot at the moment. Please take your malware and go home.

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Politicos whining about folks' data rights ought to start closer to home

Scott Broukell

Human behaviour

Does it not all come down to human behavioral psychology. Your average punter sees the promise of globally shared cat photos and family news very much through rose tinted glasses, blinding themselves to any potential negatives with regard to privacy etc. Whilst, on the other hand, some folk just can't resist a tinker with all that lovely jubbley totally volunteered data. The first group feels it has won an achievement by following the trend and adopting the promise of the new digital life style, the second group is on to a winner so long as it's all done on the quiet. So it's a case of exploitation all round. More importantly we humans are perhaps not really mature enough to cope with the very digital age that puts us all into such a spin all the time. Or, at the very least, we require further significant education regarding the implications of such a digital age!

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Details of 600,000 foreign visitors to UK go up in smoke thanks to shonky border database

Scott Broukell
Meh

A Deposit scheme !

Simple, get your money back (c.200 quids), from border security on your way out of the country!

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Facebook to extend bug bounty to cover data leakage, sever ties to data brokers

Scott Broukell

I understand that Facebook is going to make some changes to it's PIRACY settings!

5
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Cambridge Analytica 'privatised colonising operation', not a 'legitimate business', says whistleblower

Scott Broukell

Re: Cambridge Anal Tickler

@AC - At a push, I would say that you have probably gone to far with that now!

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Scott Broukell

Cambridge Anal Tickler

Oh! you know you shouldn't, but at the same time oh! you know you are going to like it, all that lovely data. All that lovely data mined from the dark depths of the connected world can be yours to use for newthink democratic services or pretty much anything else you can think of!. They take it up the arse and you get the tickles in return, no brainer, $ooo tempting!

3
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Tantalising Tabby's Star teases watchers with big dimming event

Scott Broukell

Perhaps . . . .

They are very, very slowly sending out a message, in morse code?

10
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UK Court of Appeal settles reseller's question: Is software a good?

Scott Broukell

Software Download

If the bits of data flowing down the wires into my computer are 'not tangible', how come my ISP seems eminently capable of measuring them one by one and can place a cap on their numbers if I exceed certain limits?

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UK.gov cooks up code of conduct to enforce a smidge of security on Internet of S**t kit

Scott Broukell

"protect individuals' online security, privacy, safety as well as preventing large-scale cyber attacks"

Since none of the above ever has, nor ever will, be the case in a connected online world, such measures can only be of the `sticking plaster' variety and as such are worthless drivel.

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Martian microbes may just be resting – boffins

Scott Broukell
Pint

Re: There may be more than than just microbes

I'll drink to that . . . . . no, err wait! see icon >

3
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Voice assistants are always listening. So why won't they call police if they hear a crime?

Scott Broukell
Meh

I threw my latest voice assistant in the bin after it blatantly took no emergency action whatsoever upon my extremely audible reaction to the news that the local Krappy Fried Chicken shop was going to be closed for a whole week!, yes, seven whole days! It just bloomin sat there and did absolutely nothing, I was anticipating maybe an automated emergency call for a supply of spicy fried wings to be air-lifted to my address, but no, nothing. I had to put the call in myself, what's the point of these devices. Waste of money!

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Vatican sets up dedicated exorcism training course

Scott Broukell
Coat

Re: Does this course incur a fee?

Either way, you still have to pay the VATican.

10
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Russian-monitoring Shetlands radar station was nearly sold off

Scott Broukell

Decoy

What's needed now is a specialist trained squad to run around random bits of UK wilderness describing convincing polygonal shapes, all done whilst wearing iOT connected fitness monitors and have the results posted on t'webs. With the option of deploying the occasional inflatable ray-domes etc.

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Oh dear, Capita: MPs put future UK.gov outsourcing in the spotlight

Scott Broukell

Re: Keep Calm and Carillion

@AC - About the same number of years that I've spent ranting in opposition regarding such a quick-fix, sticking-plaster measure, that, far from delivering improved services / cost-benefit outcomes, won't work unless full and complete business oversight is in place doing a full-time audit. That measure would itself require more skilled civil servants to do the invasive monitoring, which would render the economic value nul, if not actually cost more than doing the majority of such tasks in-house! Feckin' short-sighted governments! Grrrrrr, just grrrr.

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Scott Broukell

Keep Calm and Carillion

<see title> that is all.

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PPI-pusher makes 75 MEEELLION nuisance calls, lands £350k fine

Scott Broukell

There need only be ONE telemarketing law - it's all illegal, now go away!

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Microsoft wants to patent mind control

Scott Broukell

Re: Isn't any control interface ultimately a brain control interface?

@ Crisp - That's what they want you to think!

1
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Scott Broukell

I thought of it first.

Surely this sort of interfacing is going to require an unfeasible number of "Are you really sure you want to do this?" dialogue boxes! Together with some "Are you really, really, really sure you want to do this?" - for the absent-minded and downright malicious. I mean thoughts travel so much faster than clumpy fingers on a keyboard etc.

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Everything running smoothly at the plant? *Whips out mobile phone* Wait. Nooo...

Scott Broukell
Stop

JUST STOP IT NOW!

Perhaps this is an area which seriously requires a regulator, harsh financial penalties and vetting (of both equipment and software) - anybody caught using insecure hardware/software that does not appear on the `approved' list should be taken out and shot!

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The Register Lectures: Deception, Spitfires and the end of the road….

Scott Broukell
Pint

Deception detection - It's a trap peeps! You have been warned!

Enjoy and have a beer (see icon).

1
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Microsoft's 'Surface Phone' is the ghost of Courier laughing mockingly at fanbois

Scott Broukell

"I can't see it taking off" Nor can I, any attempt to do so would surely place far too much stress on those hinges. But I won't get into a flap over it.

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UK.gov told: Your frantic farming of pupils' data is getting a little creepy

Scott Broukell
Meh

Settle down everybody, settle down, now, would all the year one boys line up on that side of the hall and all the girls on the other side please. Chop, chop, please hurry up. Now then, the girls will all get a pink barcode tatooed across their foreheads and the boys will get theirs in blue. Does anybody have any questions? Good, then we will begin.

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UK lacks engineering and tech skills to make government's industrial strategy work – report

Scott Broukell

This is what more than fifteen years of turning further education into an industry to pump out peeps with degrees in hair dressing and video gaming results in. 15 years making every technical college in the land into a bright new glossy university and promising the world to young people without very much of a clue from either side. Instead of promoting the positively vital skills of engineering, construction, medicine, building, computing, nursing, heating, plumbing etc etc. It is these skill sets that should be held up as positive examples for young folk just as much, if not more so, than the output of Oxbridge institutions, or indeed any attempt to emulate them. Then running a continuing program within those industries whereby talent for higher management levels / all levels, can be nurtured and developed. The 'coal face' is where the real action takes place, it's just that we get distracted by the shiney shiney time after time after time.

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Apple looks forward to wiping $47bn off its overseas profit tax bill – thanks to US shakeup

Scott Broukell

I can't really envisage such a large and global business putting all it's apples in one basket, no matter what bait is dangled in front of it.

3
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Does UK high street banks' crappy crypto actually matter?

Scott Broukell

Shoulder surfing

This is something that bothers me, more so since, for some time, my local branch sprouted loads of 'user' screens, where customers are encouraged to login so as to perform regular banking tasks. These screens are so positioned as to make the contents visible to all and sundry across the entire vestibule! I am seriously considering taking along my own pair of clip-on bicycle mirrors next time, in order to keep a wathcful eye on any nosey blighter showing too much of an interest in my on-screen activity.

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Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Scott Broukell

Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

Surely that should be "Lard Jesus" ?

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Brit moron tried buying a car bomb on dark web, posted it to his address. Now he's screwed

Scott Broukell

Judging a book by it's cover

"He's assuming that because the guy is brown" And therein lies the problem, because if you were to open up any of us humans, be it with a machete, an IED or on the surgeons table, you will find that we are ALL exactly the same colour on the inside. Yet the wrapper is what gets our attention and not the shared contents. Quite when humanity, as a whole, will be able to get over this apparently built-in bias towards some really quite subtle external differences is increasingly difficult to tell, but I feel sure that the primitive tribalism and deluded religious belief systems which we continue to exhibit will keep us all held back from progress for some time to come.

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'Screaming' man fined $149 for singing 'Everybody Dance Now'

Scott Broukell

Maybe he was also wearing a loud shirt in a built-up area.

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National Audit Office: We'll be in a world of pain with '90s border tech post-Brexit

Scott Broukell
Meh

1990's - Paperwork

I'm fine with this. All those entering or exiting the country will be required to attend the port of entry/exit 8-hours prior to checking in so as to complete reams of paperwork whilst under the beady eyes of trained customs/border staff, every drop of sweat, however small, upon their foreheads will be duly noted and the paperwork cross-checked and sent to the basement for working storage/retrieval. In this manner a very careful and thorough check of whose is who, going where, can be fully maintained and I would defy any even slightly jittery ne'er-do-well, lunatic or devilish scamp to pass through with success.

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Pulitzer-winning website Politifact hacked to mine crypto-coins in browsers

Scott Broukell

Wait, what . . . you mean to say that there actually is 'fact and accuracy' to be found in political speak! No wonder they won a prize for finding that!

1
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Foiled again! Brit military minds splash cash on killing satellites with... food wrapping?

Scott Broukell

And not for the first time - during WWII Bomber Command used strips of foil which were dropped in large clusters to confuse German radar operators, it was code named 'window pane'.

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Finance sector is littered with vulns, and guess what – most can be resolved by patching

Scott Broukell

True enough. I suppose that when the banks etc begin to 'engage with their customers' regarding increasing amounts of compen$ation as a result of sloppy apps, only then will they get off their fat arses and actually do something about it (IT).

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More data lost or stolen in first half of 2017 than the whole of last year

Scott Broukell

Re: You mean more detected loss?

My dear Cheesy, sadly, from such data, it would appear that overall we all lost more manage.

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