Posts by Scott Broukell

This - ". . the potential of AI systems to enhance our own worst qualities . ." - So, the plan is to feed all this lovely data (about humans, made by humans, yes the very same humans who are so well known for NEVER EVER having made any cluster-f*cking mistakes throughout our entire history), have humans input the data - and you are expecting what exactly to emerge out the other end?!

Ever heard the phrase "Garbage IN - Garbage OUT".

All right, granted, we do (should) tend to learn, a bit, from our own mistakes. But expecting man-made AI and ML to magically conjure up the answers to all our self-made problems is utterly ludicrous!

It is also a stretch to even believe that the same AI and ML can teach itself and actually correct the errors of our ways, simply because we ourselves are at the very chuffing root of the whole shebang! And any way that would put AI and ML (and whoever is behind it / them) in effing charge of all of us!

So does this mean that The Great British Space Port will now feature . . . . a replacement bus service ? (maybe a shuttle bus, if you like)

Is that what's known as "wearable technology" ? (asking for a blue friend of mine)

But, then again, Dr Alice Roberts also said that: "Thisands of yars ago ancient Britons all lived in rind hyses (houses made entirely of rind)".

One can only assume therefore that she was being prescient in actually predicting our post-Brexit impoverishment. So maybe UK science does work proper like after all.

Wishi Washi Sunak - ensuring the hard working lowly populace receive a share of abso-bloody useless net zero anything, whilst Tory chums coin it in! T'was ever thus.

M - Make

A - America

G - Gestate

A - Again (and again)

Great news! Now all they need to do is to appoint a lead cyber-expert chum like, erm .., Dido Harding, to oversee it and everything will be fine, promise.

Bah! Bring back the Vickers Viscount / Vanguard that's what I say! Even the Avro Anson is a perfectly good airframe for short regional hops. Not a big fan of these new fangled jets (grumble grumble). Having said that, the BOAC booking website is a pile of old crock!

Fear not citizens, all our personal information is kept very private online. So private in fact, that it is harvested, stored, analysed and monetised by private companies with private share holders from all over the world. Further, that personal information is so valuable that some folks even make a living stealing it and/or trading in it!

As a consumer your expectations regarding privacy will for ever clash with the privacy aspirations of any company/entity, online or otherwise. Those privacy settings, they are very much aspirations on the part of said company/entity. "We at GlobalCorpInc aspire to the theatre of privacy so much so that you schmucks will lap it all up" etc.

You have nothing to fear citizen

This is a blatant attempt on the part of the perpetrator to interfere with, dupe, obfuscate and distort the findings of a perfectly legitimate computer system going about its everyday business - enforcing the law! How dare he conduct himself in such a manner and in public too! Whats more it is an even worse offence than: "Walking in a 'loud' shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness".

Off to jail with him! We don't spend millions of tax payers dollars on these wonderful computer systems only to have people such as this take the micky! Such behaviour simply cannot be allowed to continue.

/S

Social Media - a perfect example, in this digital age, of humans exploiting other humans for profit and gain. Our recorded human history is full of such behaviour. Such exploitative compulsion appears to be hard-wired into our very nature. Dangle the highly addictive shiny shiny digital treats in front of the defenceless masses and we simply cannot ignore the wonderful promises of a better, digital, existence - oh joy!

Social Media offers us absolutely nothing of any meaningful substance or practical use!

And yet here we are, with more sticking-plaster legislation, which I sadly doubt, will prove to be anywhere near fit for purpose and yet it will give the great unwashed masses a sense that the gubermint (whatever the flavour de jour happens to be), is taking real and meaningful action!

I also take issue with the use of the phrase "online safety", as I feel that it provides an entirely false sense of security in what is, in fact, an extremely impersonal and inherently unsafe environment to navigate!

Poids aren't Real

Just saying.

<insert joke icon>

Not taking any chances here! So, I am henceforth going to leave my iPhone under a flower pot next to the front porch, whenever I go out.

Look that’s all very well but getting all uppity about these matters but this will simply stifle the development of modern AI and ML technologies and their commerce! /s

Remember when you hated to even contemplate the thought of actually going to the shops in order to procure the ingredients for a pizza that you then had to cook yourself!

Well now, with developments in modern AI and ML, very soon you won’t even have to bother with all the hassle of even visiting a fecking website any more!

Food fulfilment factors will automatically know (probably before you even realise it yourself), from traits you exhibit in real-time and which are captured by smart devices in your home, just which flavours and toppings you want right this second!

The items will be baked and a droid will be dispatched straight to you with all the items you enjoy and crave. This will all be timed to arrive, hot and ready to eat, at your door in the same instant that you yourself have the urge to contact your favourite food vendor! Wow, just wow!

It’s the future, it’s here already, eat and enjoy! Eat and enjoy!

Ironic then that the very internet itself is in fact the largest vacuum cleaner ever imagined!

Sucking up all our personal data crumbs every second of every day!

Most unfortunate. Still, I hope the good folk over at Rockstar Games don't beat themselves up over it . . . . oh wait!

Trussed me, for I have a plan: Nadine Dorries and Lady Harding (and some really nice whizzo chums), are going to develop this oven-ready, block-chain, algorithm Web App thingy that uses ML and AI and any other old IT buzzword shit that is doing the rounds at the moment, and it will solve procurment problems at a stroke!

It will all be delivered under budget and delivered in record time and also deliver wads of lovely cash to said chums!

Delivery wil be all important in order to make delivery work and delivering this crock of shit will mean that you know exactly what you are going to get delivered from this all-new Trussed-worthy administration! So concentrate really hard on the delivery and maybe not so much the end product will ya!

Hmmm . . . just how long might it be, ahead of the next US presidential election, before certain republican states seriously consider giving a month old fetus the vote? You can vote just the same ways your mom and dad vote too! Now ain't that a thing!

Is it just me, or, for too many years now, have M$ opertaing systems and their updates merely been sticking plaster, upon sticking plaster, upon sti.... (you get the idea). Is their apparent osbsession with "fun stuff" and "user convenience" to blame perhaps? I appreciate that with the constantly changing variety of hardware available there is no doubt a significant challenge to find a level playing field that fits all. But the thing is that there is very little in life that ever "fits all". Personally I would much rather have less, or indeed no, bells and whistles, but instead a stable, secure platform to work with and that requires the bare minimum of tinkering about with once it is up and running. Perhaps that might be called Win11 Lite - I dunno.

Caveat Emptor

Nothing is completely safe about internet-based communications and/or apps downloaded therein. Yes, Google (and others), probably do take some measures to try and reduce such instances, but I would argue that the end user must always conduct their own due diligence in such matters. Your device/phone/laptop already contains so much information about you and your finances etc. these days - are you just going to allow anything that takes your fancy to have access to all of that data! Fakery has already been around for thousands of years and it thrives in this digital age!

Now that you've all got your blindfolds on, can anyone see where I'm going with this?

A - Advanced

D - Driver

A - Accident

S - System

Just saying.

Party Line

When I were a nipper the family telephone line was a party line, shared with the house next door. I mean it's just an idea that I'm putting out there, but, shared IPv4 addresses anybody? You know, just for the lowly plebs you understand, nuffin important like. No?

"The potential of facial recognition technology to make our communities safer and commerce secure is just beginning to be realized" - Yes, and do you all remember how "digital technologies" made the same promises at the start of the century. And yet, here we are, some twenty years later, with consequentially far higher and ever increasing levels of financial/identity fraud and scamming on-line! Where software patches and updates are rolled out on a near daily basis!

No, Clearview (et al), I think that you, and others like you, simply want to protect businesses, their data sets and their profitability. I don't believe that this offers any real benefit to customers, but you will no doubt pull off the same illusory trick, so often used before, to fool everyone into letting you harvest all that lovely personal data! Only then to become evil gate-keepers of our individual daily drudgery.

It's the year 8031 and here, on The Register, is the latest episode in our long running series "On Call". This week we find out about an intrepid semi-simulant IT droid called Krayton (not it's real name), some backups and an awful lot of shear lunacy! . . .

Well, I suppose it is the way of the furure. Personally I would be happier if I were fully confident that my bank had thoroughly tested and resilient pen and paper (and pocket calculator) Backup Plan for when the cloudiness goes off-line for a bit of a rest, as it were.

I mean IRL clouds do have a tendancy to burst etc. Fingers crossed everyone.

Just saying.

Question: Is my personal information kept private on-line?

Answer: Yes, your personal information is kept private on-line. It is harvested, stored, analysed and monetised by private companies for private profit and the benefit of private investors. Happy now?

Sod the security, we wan't convenience and ease of use and shinny shinny things! Twas ever thus.

Note to self:

Noate Tu Seylf - Wyen inthye huse suche devise es seyn, I doth speyk æn Elde Englyshe tongues fram now on then.

Question: Is my personal data private?

Answer: Yes, your personal data is private. It is harvested, stored, analysed and monetised by private companies for private profit and the benefit of private investors.

So there you go! (not just applicable to the realm of health care either.)

Just asking

Especially in the case of banking / fintech etc. is there not a very strong case for demanding that such digital infrastructure undergo a comprehensive, independent, testing phase prior to being permitted to go live? In order to bring such potential disasters to light before they can happen!

Are there not machine learning models and wotnot that could allow such testing to be both rapid and very thorough and free from prying human eyes - if there are any security issues with that?

(goes back to counting groats with an abacus)

Machine learning helps us learn about machines, when there are 7+ Billion soft and squidgy humans who seem to be in an endless loop, frequently repeating the mistakes that they made in the past.

Put the output from the latter into the machines designed and built by humans and you get what exactly at the end of it?

Right then, what they ought to do now is use the cable to tow the island away from the bloomin' volcano and to an area of relative safety!