Re: I know it's unlikely
"I did this year ago with batch scripts etc. Set up a little script that'd copy itself into startup and eject the laptops CD drive every time it booted. "
I remember doing something very similar in my first IT support job to colleagues using the Back Orifice "remote access tool". Much amusement. Fun times. I then went onto a very lucrative career in penetration testing :)
Biting the hand that feeds IT
