back to article Dog with 'psychotic tendencies' escapes home to poop on his neighbours' pillows

Residents of Auckland's North Shore in New Zealand who have found their pillows scattered with dog toffee can rest a little easier now – the master of the mystery pooper has owned up. Writing on the Beach Haven and Birkdale Community Facebook page, an apologetic Rick Didham exposed his Bichon Frise-Shih Tzu cross, Jack: Hi, …

  1. Semtex451
    Pint

    This is how the sarcastic expression "Oh Didhams!" came about, said to someone crying over something trivial, like a grazed knee, or pooh on their pillow.

    Naturally it was corrupted over time: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/diddums

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't think he understands how dogs or people work, there isn't a cat in hell's chance I would give a dog a treat after it shat on my pillow. It would be time to crack out the super soaker.

    1. 9Rune5

      I don't think you understand how a protection racket works.

      "Trick or treat", etc.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      time to crack out the super soaker

      Much more restrained then others might be if they found their neighbours Yappy hound pinching one out on their bed linen.

      "Missing dog?? not seen it Sir"

  3. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    A headline opportunity missed

    Persistent pillow poop perpetrating pup publicised

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A headline opportunity missed

      Good, but why stop there?

      Persistent pillow poop perpetrating pup publicised... penitent proprietor promises payment, provided proof of poochy pollution

  4. Stevie

    Bah!

    Didham advised his neighbours to be kind to Jack if caught in the act, "as if you're mean he comes back and does it again".

    Seems to me the best advice is from the Ramones:

    Beat on the brat

    Beat on the brat

    Beat on the brat with a baseball bat

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      Just want to check, is the brat in this case the owner who can't control their dog?

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: Bah!

        this dog may be a case for use of shock collars - go outside the boundary, *ZAP*

        and don't let the puppy eyes fool ya - behind those eyes is a PSYCHOPATHIC POOPER!

        It also has that irritating concept of "be nice to the bully and he will stop" ANTI-logic. And rewarding for bad behavior. And a host of OTHER complete misconceptions.

        [The dog's experience in the neighbor yard should be as unpleasant as possible, if he's inclined to tear things up and/or crap on pillows to mark his new "territory". THEN he will STAY away']

        I understand that being IGNORED is sometimes the worst punishment for a dog... even a NEGATIVE response is better [to them] than NO response. This sounds like a job for... a PORTABLE KENNEL!

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Bah!

          this dog may be a case for use of shock collars

          Something that is utterly illegal in civilised countries.

          The fact that BB recommends it (and appears quite blase about use of shock collars) says all you need to know about his personality and utter selfishness and lack of empathy.

          Quite honestly, anyone that approves of the use of those things has no right to call themselves human, let alone a person.

      2. Stevie

        Re: brat in this case

        No, phuzz, I was thinking of the one with the vindictive sphincter.

        That dog needs to be sent to live on a farm tootsweet.

  5. Wellyboot Silver badge

    Friday afternoon ROFL

    A new meaning for house trained!

    How & why on earth would a dog decide to dump like this? As a recue dog from a puppy mill would he have even seen a pillow before hunting out the neighbours?

    My dog generally is happy to unload in the garden or barely 10 yards out on a walk, the only effort he'll willingly expend is leaving the house.

    1. Aladdin Sane

      Re: Friday afternoon ROFL

      Probably a scent thing to show his dominance.

  6. RGE_Master

    That's a shitty situation for those living near that dog, although that being said if it does happen, being nice to the dog does make sense.

    I've got a minature Jack Russell at home. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning he's had a little accident and he looks so sheepish, you can't really punish him since it's not his fault, it's not like he thinks "You know what i'm gonna do today, I'm gonna shit on your floor". Also since the dog in the article is a rescue, you don't know the abuse it's had to deal with in it's life, being beaten, being burnt with cigarettes and simply being abandoned by his previous owner, it's traumatic, imagine you being abandoned by your parents, not nice.

    He could consider some sort of dog therapy to help him get over it. It does sound stupid but it's been scientifically proven that certain ways to act around a dog and ways to treat it do help it live a better life and get over some of the trauma that's happened to it.

    1. Geoffrey W

      Why on earth would anyone downvote you for that? Are you being punished to teach you better El Reg behaviour?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cat doors should be only for cats

    All 'cat doors' should be in windows with sills. If the cat is fat, put a box under the window.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Cat doors should be only for cats

      The dog is on a campaign to punish those who let their domestic cats out to torture and murder innocent wildlife. Cats should STAY indoors.

      For the cat-loving flamers: Dogs (nor other pets) are not allowed to roam freely, killing anything they want. Cats should not do it either.

      1. dmedin

        Re: Cat doors should be only for cats

        You are an extremist

    2. Captain Scarlet
      Trollface

      Re: Cat doors should be only for cats

      What you give you cat keys, my cats always use Cat Flaps

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Cat doors should be only for cats

        Strangely enough yes, you can get magnetic collars. You can also lock them one way if you find tears on your pillow and want to catch the offending shithound.

        1. chivo243 Silver badge
          Holmes

          Re: Cat doors should be only for cats

          Actually, there are cat doors\flaps that use the ID chip in the animals neck. Mine works great. I got it because other cats were coming in and eating my cats food, and "marking" everything they could.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Mushroom

            Re: Cat doors should be only for cats

            "Actually, there are cat doors\flaps that use the ID chip in the animals neck."

            Placing the bulldogs bed next to the cat flap works quite well also.

          2. Captain Scarlet

            Re: Cat doors should be only for cats

            Those ID flaps suck, a cat can simple ram it and break the lock.

            Also as cats can also lose the collar my sister ended up with her cat outside going WTF when another cat was inside asleep on their bed.

    3. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Cat doors should be only for cats

      @AC

      Not getting out much?

      https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2018/11/16/where_to_implant_my_employee_microchip_i_have_the_ideal_location/

      Have a chuckle in the comments!

  8. Voland's right hand Silver badge

    "Apparently he is a serial offender repeatedly going back to the houses that shoo him away. You need to give him a treat and he will leave you alone."

    The dictionary says extortionist, not serial offender.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    In other words

    It shat the bed

  10. Mike Moyle

    "...an apologetic Rick Didham exposed his Bichon Frise-Shih Tzu cross, Jack..."

    A "Bichon Frise / Shits-You cross", surely!

  11. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    It uses cat doors

    Well, there are doors that respond only to RFID chips - meaning that the authorized cat is the only animal to get through.

    Don't know about their reliability, but I would get one in a hurry if I lived in that area.

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Re: It uses cat doors

      They're extremely reliable - I know, I make'em.

      And yes, we do sell them in New Zealand.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Neil Barnes

        You should contact this guy's neighbors and offer them your product for free. The publicity from this case could only help your business.

    2. JohnFen

      Re: It uses cat doors

      I've been using those for years -- otherwise the raccoons come in through the door and wreck the place. I've found them extremely reliable.

      1. PM from Hell

        Re: It uses cat doors

        Racoons are reliable?

        1. JohnFen

          Re: It uses cat doors

          Oh yes, they are! They're very smart, mean, and tenacious, and once they learn how to enter you house, you can rely on them to do so forevermore.

  12. Gene Cash Silver badge

    Two can play that game...

    I had a similar problem where the neighbor was actually letting their small dog out to roam free, so it'd come dig my yard.

    After it "accidentally" got soaked in a tub of motor oil and went back home in that condition, the situation was rectified and the dog lost its roaming privileges.

    Sadly, another small dog was simply run over by a car, which is a horrible fate.

  13. Little Mouse

    "we will seal the hole when we find it."

    Hmmmm... Thanks for that.

    1. Eddy Ito
      Trollface

      It seems an awfully harsh punishment but did they try looking under the dog's tail?

    2. Ken Shabby

      "we will seal the hole when we find it."

      Offer it a biscuit, it'll be at the other end.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Obviously, karma exists and this dog has the soul of a former interior decorator....

    "Your choice in linens is shit!!"

    (Paris, because I am sure she is still fabulous.)

  15. Rusty 1
    WTF?

    Replace the cases?

    I'd be wanting the pillows to be replaced too and anything else that looks a bit brown.

  16. Dr. G. Freeman

    Looks at Kereberos, the fur covered lump of concrete that's allegedly the dog.

    Don't get any ideas.

  17. PhilipN Silver badge

    It's a what?

    Must confess I look askance at people, and the animal, when they say "It's a XYZ/ABC cross". Some things are not intended by Nature.

    1. skeptical i

      Re: It's a what?

      re: "not intended by Nature"

      The rescue societies are full of puppies which resulted from random canine hookups, not sure the Bitchin' Shitz was one or if someone had deliberately engineered such a treasure.

  18. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Coat

    culturally mediated pas de deux

    "The internal and external anal sphincters then begin a culturally mediated pas de deux, the former pressing for release and the latter restricting discharge until the opportune moment."

    https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/nov/30/bowel-movement-change-the-way-you-poo-squatty-potty-toilet

    Obviously little Didhams is, culturally speaking, somewhat lacking

  19. Malcolm Weir Silver badge

    Look, a Bison Frise/Shih Tzu mix is a combination of of two breeds that have literally centuries experience sitting on a monarch's lap looking down on the hoi polloi. Of course they're going to look for a nice pillow for their elimination efforts, and equally of course if you feed them something delicious, they'll stop.

    Because you don't shit where you eat.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "

      Look, a Bison Frise/Shih Tzu mix is a combination of of two breeds that have literally centuries experience sitting on a monarch's lap looking down on the hoi polloi"

      Actually shih tsus are the result of Chinese breeding of Tibetan dogs - which range in size from the Lhasa apso to the so-called Tibetan terrier (tsang apso or "ordinary dog"). They were bred to be house dogs and watch dogs and to be safe near children.

      Neither this nor the bichon frise responds at all well to being left on its own. I suspect this one is being left alone and wandering out to seek human company. It can't be repeated too often, if you want a dog, make sure your lifestyle is suited to a dog. As someone else puts it, you can't put them on a hanger in the cupboard when you don't want them around.

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Look, a Bison Frise/Shih Tzu mix is a combination of of two breeds that have literally centuries experience sitting on a monarch's lap

      My exact thought. If you wanted to produce a dog with sh*tty character (pun intended), you could not have chosen a more appropriate combination of breeds.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pillow talk.

    Damn, I thought those chocolates tasted funny.

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