back to article I find your lack of faith disturbing, IBM: Big Blue fires photon torpedo at Pentagon JEDI cloud contract

IBM has officially griped to a top US government watchdog about JEDI – the Pentagon's proposed 10-year $10bn single-vendor IT system for America’s Green Machine. Whichever lucky lone supplier wins the coveted Joint Enterprise Defense Infrastructure (JEDI) contract will be responsible for providing all cloud activities for the …

  1. Duncan Macdonald

    Single Bidder

    For once the US government is showing some sense - when things go wrong they do not want multiple contractors pointing fingers at each other rather than solving the problems. Also there is a (slightly) higher chance of compatibility between the various systems if they are all provided by the same vendor.

    Having 2 or more main suppliers that hate each other is a quick route to failure.

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: Single Bidder

      I don't disagree with the "2 or more main suppliers that hate each other" part, but I think it would be better to be able to switch suppliers at a moment's notice in case of "whatever reason", for reliability purposes.

      I have to wonder who it was that came up with the 'JEDI' idea in the FIRST place. Then, "follow the money".

    2. gamesbx

      Re: Single Bidder

      thanks you

    3. Goldmember

      Re: Single Bidder

      Yes, I was thinking the same thing. Contrary to IBM's claim, having multiple vendors providing interlinking kit would logically be LESS secure than having one. Sharing the infrastructure would require a high degree of co-operation between vendors to maintain security, which as you say would lead to all concerned blaming the others when it goes titsup instead of fixing the problem. This is just asking for trouble.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Single Bidder

      Even if it is 'a single bidder' chances are quite high that it shall be comprised of many sub-contractors and there will be multiple finger pointing events in spite of any effort to prevent that nonsense. Reality rears an ugly head, or set of heads, and points with an amazing array of real and artificial digits as part of any large project these days.

  2. Real Ale is Best
    FAIL

    Babylon 5 photo with Star Wars references...

    Nice photo of the Babylon 5 cast there, alongside references to Jedi and Star Wars.

    I think you are confusing your universes.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Babylon 5 photo with Star Wars references...

      Did you miss the firefly reference in the caption?

      The troll is strong with this one.

      1. MichaelBirks

        Re: Babylon 5 photo with Star Wars references...

        Personally, I was waiting for the Doctor Who, Blakes 7, or at least Hyperdrive references

        Setting lasers to patriotic!

        1. VikiAi
          Go

          Re: Babylon 5 photo with Star Wars references...

          BOYS FROM THE DWARRRRRRF!

      2. Teiwaz

        Re: Babylon 5 photo with Star Wars references...

        The Vulture may bite the hand that Feeds IT

        But runs round the yard making less coherent sense than a headless chicken rather pecking on Disney seed.

        In the words of Admiral Ackbar

        "It's a shame"

        1. The Oncoming Scorn Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Babylon 5 photo with Star Wars references...

          Don't worry, it won't be Vorlon until they fix it.

          Londo Mollari "Fools to the left of me, feeders to the right... I need to find a real job."

    2. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

      Re: "I think you are confusing your universes."

      In the unforgettable words of Admiral Adama:

      "Shut up, Wesley."

      ;)

      1. Andy The Hat Silver badge

        Re: "I think you are confusing your universes."

        "Shut up, Wesley."

        Oh bugger, it'll be Nora Batty next ...

      2. Kane
        Thumb Up

        Re: "I think you are confusing your universes."

        "You want to run this ship?!"

        "Yes!"

        "...Well....you can't!"

    3. Aladdin Sane
      Coat

      Re: Babylon 5 photo with Star Wars references...

      Did you not spot that photon torpedoes are Star Trek? Proton torpedoes are in Star Wars.

      Mine's the one with the Heir to the Empire trilogy in the pocket.

    4. jelabarre59

      Re: Babylon 5 photo with Star Wars references...

      I think you are confusing your universes.

      Yes, but did you then hear the phrase spoken in each character's voice in turn? Kosh's sounded something like "wiggle-giggle-sniffle-snort-snarf".

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud.”

    "We have no idea how to actually implement it. Or maintain it. Or support it. But we know what it takes to build it!"

    1. I3N
      Coat

      Re: “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud.”

      C'mon, you IT folks know it's no fun to award a contract for something that works right out of the box ....

      More so over at DOD ...

      1. ratfox

        Re: “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud.”

        At least Google had the decency to admit they were not able to do it, instead of whining it was not fair to award the contract to the most competent company...

    2. DJV Silver badge

      Re: “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud.”

      Atmosphere and water...

      ...or, in IBM's case, maybe the sweat of about-to-be pink-slipped workers and management hot air.

    3. Secta_Protecta

      Re: “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud.”

      I think they mean "IBM Knows How to BUY a World Class Cloud"

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud.”

      Maybe the US DoD talked to their five eyes colleagues in New Zealand. The government there awarded three panel contracts for infrastructure as a service providers - and one of the winners was IBM. After 5+ years they have yet to be able to provide a running service to offer to any NZ government agencies. So I think they actually *don't* know what it takes to build a world-class cloud. Or perhaps they sacked everyone over 40 who did know how to do that and expected to replace them with new graduates from Bengalaru technical institute

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud.”

      Of course IBM knows. They know it has *nothing* to do with IBM being involved *anywhere* in the process...

  4. EveryTime

    This is the same story, with slight tweaks, that has been popping up every week or two since early this year.

    AWS is the obvious winner here -- the only one with the proven, existing technology and experience. Microsoft Azure is the only runner-up.

    But the beltway bandits are pulling out all of the stops to kill the contract or force multiple awards.

    1. Dabbb

      Does AWS use SuperMicro boards ?

      Oopsie...

      1. John Geek

        Dabbb asks.... Does AWS use SuperMicro boards ?

        and that would be negatory. they use their own greatly cost reduced boards. they don't need all the enterprisey IPMI kinda stuffs, just cheap CPU + RAM + storage.

    2. vtcodger Silver badge

      "But the beltway bandits are pulling out all of the stops to kill the contract or force multiple awards."

      Exactly. In everyday English, IBM's complaint is that one kid gets the whole humongous pie and they are pretty sure that kid won't be them.

      The important question for taxpayers incidentally isn't who should get the pie. It is, "Is this job actually doable?" If it isn't it'll cost a fortune and stretch out for a decade or three no matter who gets the contract.

  5. FozzyBear
    Childcatcher

    Jeez

    Talk about the spoilt kids throwing a tantrum and throwing their toys out of the cot. IBM and oracle are finally realising that they are not the centre of the tech universe anymore. Now they want to try to grab a little of the spot light back

    Sorry kids not happening, you have been over indulged for too long. Now both you back in the time out corners. We're not listening to another whiny word... NOW Ginni!

    1. tcmonkey
      Stop

      Re: Jeez

      And you think that Microsoft and Amazon are likely to be any better? Really?

      1. FozzyBear

        Re: Jeez

        Hell No. They're all as bad as each other.

        However, in this round I WANT I WANT I WANT!, It's IBM and oracle centre stage

  6. a_yank_lurker

    So...

    A couple of washed up has beens are complaining they are losing. The only thing I would trust those two losers to do is to try to pad the contract with bogus charges. Also, India Business Machines will have a problem with getting security clearances for their staff in New Delhi.

  7. Uncle Ron

    Baloney

    Amazon builds nice virtual machines to store your photos and spin up a virtual instance of your payroll system. Microsoft doesn't even know how to do that. Google doesn't know much about any of this, and none of those three have any credible experience. There are only two companies in the world that know anything about the unprecedented complexities of a bullet-proof, high-function, diverse, planet-wide DOD cloud system. And one of them is light on references and breadth of skill. You IBM haters should re-consider. They have the best security people outside the NSA--and NSA isn't sharing--and more high-value data assets under their control than everybody else combined. Whether you like them or not, IBM is the only choice for this contract. I had an old boss who's philosophy was, "Whoever writes the bid, wins the business." IBM doesn't grease palms, but if it doesn't win this critical contract, whoever is writing it is greasing DOD palms in 7 figures.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Baloney

      I think the point is that the contract is so large that the fact there's only one or two potential bidders IS the problem.

    2. Steve K

      Re: Baloney

      I think you may be confusing Cloud with Infrastructure as a service hosting.

      AWS/Azure (and to a lesser extent Google) provide all kinds of platform/software as a service and serverless features.

      They also provide a Government-only service which will already tick several of the DOD boxes.

    3. Jellied Eel Silver badge

      Re: Baloney

      You IBM haters should re-consider.

      Yup. I've been thinking about how I'd approach this bid. Ok, it's got a lot of elements very much out of my comfort zone, but that's where I'm siding with IBM. It's a massive project in terms of compexity, risk and customer engagement. It also strikes me that it'd fit a consortium bid given the tin, glue and plumbing involved. DoD has existing networks to interface and many silos to integrate into the one cloud that binds them all.. So a myriad of service users who'll need to be convinced to get on board and adopt this proposal.

      They have the best security people outside the NSA--and NSA isn't sharing.

      That's one potentially political problem I'd want to embrace, ie getting NSA on board with security architecture and consulting. I'm assuming they'd be part of the bid review anyway, but theoretically could add a lot of value with stuff like certification, pen testing etc. Downside to 'Cloud' stuff is it's too often a good way to hide things behind an abstract fluffy cloud in a sales pitch.

      Then again, it also makes me think fondly of the old X.500 days, and certificates to sign and control permissions. It's one of those things that struck me as a good idea, but seemed to have been nobbled by vendor decommoditisation of standards. I wonder if there's a copy of MS's Halloween paper hiding in an AD somewhere?

  8. steviebuk Silver badge

    Funny

    “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud,”

    Ahhhhhh ha ha ha ha

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Funny

      I'm sure someone somewhere in IBM does, however he or she is not getting that past IBM's siloed bureaucracy.

  9. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    Single company, massive contract requiring huge capital investment, loads of semi-audited money piped from military budget to one company's back pocket, odours of Government back-handers, company can't deliver, contract fails, tax payer writes off another failed IT project.

    What's new?

  10. Aladdin Sane

    Take my love, take my land,

    Take me where I cannot stand.

    I don't care, I'm still free,

    You can't take the sky cloud from me.

    1. Kane

      I swear by my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.

    2. Alister

      Aladdin Sane, Stand Down! You are bound by law!

      1. Aladdin Sane

        Let's be bad guys

        1. Kane

          Aladdin, your mouth is talking. You might wanna look to that.

          1. Aladdin Sane

            You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til ya understand who's in ruttin' command here.

            1. Kane

              No power in the 'verse can stop me.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud,”

    ...You get someone else to do it.

    1. Secta_Protecta

      Re: “IBM knows what it takes to build a world-class cloud,”

      Then buy them!

  12. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

    Muad'Dib is making plans for an invasion.

  13. Stevie

    Bah!

    Taxpayers a surety of delivery demand.

    Lodge a sizeable bond to be forfeited in case of incomplete, late or non-existent product you will.

    Mmm.

  14. Paul Johnson 1
    Alien

    The Hitch in the Hikers Guide to the Galaxy

    Of course we all know it was the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation attacking the Vogons.

    Share and Enjoy!

    1. Stevie

      Re: The Hitch in the Hikers Guide to the Galaxy

      Go stick your head in a pig.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The Hitch in the Hikers Guide to the Galaxy

        Belgium.

  15. Compliant Andy

    Google have pulled out because of differences to their 'values' and lack of required certs and now IBM are griping.

    https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/10/09/google_jedi_drops_out/

    ...Maybe the Pentagon should/could build their own cloud environment and secure it themselves..

  16. Boiled Gammon

    IBM has a cloud?

    Who knew.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      IBM has a cloud?

      Who knew.

      They do. It's the dark one that hangs over the head of every staffer who hasn't yet been "resourced".

  17. ma1010
    Trollface

    Oracle and vendor lock-in

    Oracle saying that the proposed contract is anti-competitive and leading to vendor lock-in is absolutely HILARIOUS!

    Pot: "Hey, Kettle, you sure are black!"

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PERCS

    As I remember, there was a similar initiative some 10-15 years ago (already?!?!) known as "HPCS" (High Productivity Computing Systems) where IBM shared the contract with Cray and (at an earlier phase) Sun. IBM's piece was called PERCS. I worked on it for a time, until I was "resourced" along with much of the staff that actually knew what they were doing.

  19. Kimo
    Mushroom

    You can cross the streams but...

    Could you not at least find a picture with Ivanova in it?

    1. Aladdin Sane

      Re: You can cross the streams but...

      Once voted best reason to get lost in space.

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