back to article Salesforce dogged by protests, leaked emails, and guerrilla blimps on first day of Dreamforce

It’s that time of year again: CRM loyalists flood San Francisco for the annual Dreamforce conference hosted by Salesforce – but day one hasn’t exactly gone to plan. For a start, on Tuesday, protestors wheeled a huge wooden cage down the street outside the busy conference center to rally against Salesforce signing a multi- …

  1. chuckufarley Silver badge

    Wait, what? Did I miss something?

    Metalica, at some point in the past, had credibility? Well even if it is true at least I didn't miss much.

    1. Mayday
      Stop

      Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

      I'm not into metal, but even I know that they are one of the best in the business of their genre.

      1. Wilseus

        Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

        "I'm not into metal, but even I know that they are were one of the best in the business of their genre"

        FTFY

    2. oldtaku Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

      They were the best thrash band in the world, period, up to Justice for All. They completely revolutionized metal and rock with their first three albums. Then they realized they could make more money on ballads.

      So they had credibility through about 1994 (I'll be generous and give them the black album). After that, forget it.

      1. HieronymusBloggs

        Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

        "Lars Ulrich, singer for middle-of-the-road aging rockers Metallica"

        Ouch. Lars is actually drummer and chief foot-in-mouth spokesman.

        Few bands in the metal genre can top Metallica's groundbreaking second and third albums (including the band themselves, sadly).

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

          "Ouch. Lars is actually drummer and chief foot-in-mouth spokesman."

          Yes, exactly, and he's probably the only one who had never sung in any song. But that's ok, given the energy he's spending on drums, I really don't see how he could sing at the same time !

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

      At this point Babymetal are considerably more metal than Metallica

      1. J. Cook Silver badge
        Go

        Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

        At this point Babymetal are considerably more metal than Metallica

        THIS. SO VERY MUCH THIS.

        (for the uninitiated, imagine a girl's J-pop band getting into a tryst with the likes of oh, say, White Zombie, or Megadeth, or similar. Babymetal would be the love child born of that tryst.

        (and they are damned good.)

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

      Credibility Baaad!

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

      "Metalica, at some point in the past, had credibility?"

      They did.

      At least up until around 1990.

      1. Flakk

        Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

        Yep. I stopped listening to them and buying their crap once they went after Napster and started suing their fans. I am wholly neutral that Metallica still a thing.

        I do have to confess to some amusement when James Hetfield fled San Fran for the High Plains. Apparently the town is too crazy even for him.

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

          I'd hardly call Vail the High Plains. Stoned Yuppies, maybe.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Coat

          Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

          "Yep. I stopped listening to them and buying their crap once they went after Napster and started suing their fans."

          For me, it was more to do with the fact that "And Justice ...", and everything that came after it, was complete and utter shite. Some things never change, though: Lars was a dick back then and he's still a dick now.

          Mine's the one with the Master Of Puppets patch on the back.

    6. Valerion

      Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

      I was thinking* of buying tickets for the show at Twickenham next year.

      Better avoid it incase James Hetfield starts extolling the virtues of Devops inbetween songs.

      *Expecting tickets to be stupidly expensive so wouldn't have gone anyway.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Wait, what? Did I miss something?

        It's been 20 years and entire generation later and still people haven't forgotten which movement Metallica supported: The suing of working mothers with 12 year old children.

        Fuck Metallica.

  2. jake Silver badge

    In other news ...

    ... the much hyped and newly opened "Salesforce Transit Center" (the brand new major transit hub for SF) has been closed indefinitely due to a cracked support beam.

    1. Mark 85
      Devil

      Re: In other news ...

      You think there's a connection with "cracked support beams" and Salesforce? Sounds interesting.

  3. oldtaku Silver badge
    Happy

    Master of Powerpoints

    Love it... And the lyrics actually work real well.

    Come crawling faster

    Obey your master

    Your life burns faster

    Obey your master

    Salesforce

    Master of Powerpoints

    I'm pulling your strings

    Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams

    Blinded by me

    You can't see a thing

    Just call my name 'cause I'll hear you scream

    Salesforce

    Salesforce

    Just call my name 'cause I'll hear you scream

    Salesforce

    Salesforce

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I had to use salesforce product for a while

    I dont any more

    Thank God

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I had to use salesforce product for a while

      Me too.

      I just didn't see the point in it or why people are so hyped over it. It's nothing special.

      1. Adrian 4

        Re: I had to use salesforce product for a while

        It's a manglement thing, like SAP. Have to use the business trendy thing or they look stupid in the golf club. They're on a different planet.

    2. Agamemnon

      Re: I had to use salesforce product for a while

      I was at a VAR that was Sales Heavy. I was the Sr. Design/Build/Outside/Inside Eng/Tech (you know the drill). I was supposed to use it, but it's shit for Project and Task Management, which is my Primary Toolkit. I had an account, company kept paying for it, but there was Nothing in it that was useful to my function for the business.

      Never had to put up with it since then.

    3. GBE

      Re: I had to use salesforce product for a while

      Me too.

      We were supposed to use it as a software engineering bug-tracking system. It was awful. We wasted potfuls of money paying somebody to write some customer screens/flows/whatever. It never worked in a useful manner, but at least it was expensive and wasted a lot of time. After a couple years, we finally convinced the powers-that-be that it was hopeless, and they let us set up a MantisBT system. I guess, the sales and support people still use SF...

  5. chuBb.

    Lars is the singer???

    And here I was thinking he is the "drummer" of sorts

  6. 0laf

    Metallica, middle of the road... oh my ruined youth

  7. Ugotta B. Kiddingme
    Trollface

    "Metallica, formerly known as the Recording Industry Ass. of America’s "

    perhaps it's a Queen's English thing but I'm wondering why you inserted a stray period and that "apostrophe S" at the end...

  8. mattcang
    Thumb Down

    El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

    After reading the first few sentences of the article, I am hanging up my El Reg morning habit and deleting the bookmark. I liked that I didn't have to put up with political bias from this online resource in the past, but obviously it has taken sides:

    "...the US Customs and Border Protection agency – best known for separating small kids from their asylum-seeking families at the American border."

    Not true and seeks to create controversy. Quite a shame since I've followed you for so many years. Please change your ways or we lose yet another source of reliable information.

    1. Ozumo

      Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

      Don't see your problem, that is what the Agency is best known for, currently. Of course it used to be "best known" for unconscionable delays causing air passengers transiting the US to miss connecting flights. Halcyon days.

    2. joeW

      Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

      You're either new here, or this is the first time El Reg's political bias has run contrary to your own.

    3. Excellentsword

      Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

      cya

    4. BigSLitleP

      Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

      " Quite a shame since I've followed you for so many years"

      If this is the first time they have upset your "beliefs" (and let's face it, if you think they border force aren't separating children from families then it's a belief right up there with flat earthers) then i doubt you've been following El Reg for years.

    5. JohnFen

      Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

      "Not true"

      How is that not true? Right now, it's easily the first thing most people think of when they think of that agency. It's hard to make people forget those who engage in child abuse.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Right now, it's easily the first thing most people think of when they think of that agency.

        You're absolutely correct about that. Now ask yourself why this is. If you're interested in understanding the forces that shape public perception, go a bit further down the rabbit hole.

        1. JohnFen

          Re: Right now, it's easily the first thing most people think of when they think of that agency.

          "Now ask yourself why this is."

          I have. Even more importantly, I've actually researched it rather than rely on news reports or political commentary.

      2. Milo Tsukroff
        IT Angle

        Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

        > best known for separating small kids from their asylum-seeking families at the American border

        True only for a small percentage. And, police forces always "separate families" when they detain suspects. Definitely not true in the main, because, as it's clearly been reported (but not by the anti-Trump fanatics), families in Central America have been sending their kids to the border _without_ their families. It's a clearly known method of gaming the US system. Thus, the asylum-seeking families have already separated themselves, and they should be blamed, not the border police who have to deal with unaccompanied children.

        Despite the El Reg reporting bias, I'll keep reading.

      3. Updraft102

        Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

        It's the parents of the children engaging in child abuse.

        Breaking into places you are not allowed to go has consequences, one of them being arrest. When you're arrested, you're separated from your kids, and if there is no one else to take care of them at the moment, they become wards of the state until someone is found. That's how it works with _every_ parent arrested for any crime. If you break into a Wal-Mart with kids in tow, the same thing is going to happen... you will be arrested, and if no family or close friends can be found to take care of the kid, he's going to be a ward of the state for a while.

        Don't like the terms? Don't break the law. It's a cause and effect... you know what the risks to your child are, but you decide to undertake the illegal action anyway. No one to blame but the lawbreaker.

        The only ways to avoid this would be either a policy of incarcerating entire families when a parent is arrested, so they're not separated, or else having kids becomes a magic "get out of jail free" card, and no one with kids can ever be arrested, let alone sent to jail. Otherwise, you're going to have parents separated from their kids, and the fault for that lies with the individual who chose to disregard the law, not those charged with enforcing it.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

      "After reading the first few sentences of the article, I am hanging up my El Reg morning habit and deleting the bookmark. I liked that I didn't have to put up with political bias from this online resource in the past, but obviously it has taken sides:'

      Sorry about that, we'll ask the Reg editors to put in trigger warnings so the right wing snowflakes don't melt.

  9. steviebuk Silver badge

    I always thought...

    ...William would do anything for money anyway. I could be wrong.

  10. ecarlseen

    Is it just me, or does SalesForce suck ass?

    I see more and more companies moving their support into SalesForce. Without exception, the user experience is absolute dogshit. Not just annoying or mildly dysfunctional, but breathtakingly awful. It's a combination of the worst of "the 90s called and wants their design language back" and "functionality designed by lazy interns with a attitude problems." It may do some wonderful things for the vendors' analytics and back-end CRM, but from the customer side there is literally nothing worse.

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      Re: Is it just me, or does SalesForce suck ass?

      It's always been a reasonable system for managing pre-sales, after that point SalesForce starts to really show it's limitations. Yes, custom development can be put in along with all kinds of API led horrors, but in the end it's core business has always been about the pre-sales process. What people don't realise, until too late, is the limitations on the APIs and how it quickly gets very expensive but once an organisation has put the investment into it, it's hard to leave.

  11. EveryTime

    To be clear, Salesforce is opposed to the threats to restrict H1B. Not so much the changes in other policies.

    And, after all, what's so wrong with separating children from their families and storing them in cages?

    (Oh, wait, we are talking about puppies here, right? What, humans? Nevermind.)

  12. Stevie

    Bah!

    "I'm sendin' out a two-phase commit

    Sendin' out a two-phase commit

    Sending out a two-phase commit"

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bah!

      That'd be from "Message In a Container"?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    I don’t understand...

    If Lars Ulrich (master of puppets) and Tim Cook (pastor of muppets) both think Salesforce is ok, then what’s the problem? Apart from the kids and families thing, anyway.

  14. Andy Denton
    Thumb Down

    Nothing Else Matters...apart from cash

    Metallica's credibility as a band has been zero for a long time. Their reputation is now at it's very nadir with me as I found out the CHEAPEST tickets for the Manchester Arena gig next year is £105!!!! Yes, you read that right - over £100! Surprised they've not signed a sponsorship deal with Oracle with those prices.

    1. Updraft102

      Re: Nothing Else Matters...apart from cash

      Hey, if they can actually get people to pay £105 (or more), they have to be doing something people like. I would never pay that much (even for a pair of tickets), but if everyone agreed with me, I doubt the price would be that high. Either that or they're going to be playing to a lot of empty seats...

  15. holmegm

    "credibility"?

    What exactly is "credibility", when it comes to a band?

    Do they have trouble proving that they are in fact Metallica? Proving that sound emerges from their instruments? Or what?

  16. Tom Paine

    Freudian PR

    we can deliver great customer experiences for businesses around the world.

    A great customer experience FOR A BUSINESS is to rinse them of every penny they've got, and find them banging on your door hoping to sell you some of their family members in exchange for more of your products.

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