back to article At last – a use for AI! Predicting an England World Cup victory

Good news for England fans. Advanced artificial intelligences reckon there is a good chance of England beating Sweden to progress to the FIFA World Cup semi-finals this weekend. Unfortunately, a goat disagrees. Retail wonk Blue Yonder turned the awesome power of its AI platform away from predicting how many pies Morrisons …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If England win the world cup, will be be tret to some Playmobil to celebrate?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Godtycklig svensk text som jag just gjorde dig automatiskt översätt!

      Considering the English view the World Cup as a replay of the Second World War, why would you want to celebrate wth something German?

      If you want something cheap and plasticky that symbolises England, why not choose a Dyson vacuum cleaner? Some might complain that they're actually built in Malaysia because James Dyson closed down his English factory, but surely that *does* indeed symbolise England at some level....

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      ???

      TRET?!?

  2. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Coat

    "the predicting goat"

    Just one question : the people who feed and take care of this Zabiyaka, I take it they worship Zeus ?

    Because any other situation, including being atheists, make them blasphemers to their own convictions.

    1. Teiwaz

      Re: "the predicting goat"

      Just one question : the people who feed and take care of this Zabiyaka, I take it they worship Zeus ?

      Because any other situation, including being atheists, make them blasphemers to their own convictions.

      Baphomet

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I fancy England myself, Sweden have a flat pack four.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Ikea what you did there...

      1. Korev Silver badge
        Coat

        I think things might get a bit tensor with the AI prediction

      2. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

        Talking of IKEA...

        https://twitter.com/benyoungs09/status/1015615407737188353/photo/1?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1015615407737188353&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fsport%2Flive%2Ffootball%2F43976711

  4. MiguelC Silver badge

    Who should you trust, AI or a goat?

    Jury's still out.

    Sadly, that's the level of confidence AI gives us at the moment.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Who should you trust, AI or a goat?

      Judging by my Amazon Echo, I'd at least prefer to trust the goat to recognise its own name.

    2. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
      Terminator

      Re: Who should you trust, AI or a goat?

      I come from the future to tell you that England won 2 - 0, so AI is more trustworthy than a goat.

      I know, I know... the news has completely surprised me too!

  5. Khaptain Silver badge

    Stats stats stats

    Do they add any Black Swans ( N Taleb) into their algorithms ? If not then they need to try again because that gloomy dark forebording cygnus is more than likely to make an appearance at some point in time and take a long deep laugh at the stats......

    1. Rich 11

      Re: Stats stats stats

      At some point in time, yes, but the unknown unknown is much less likely to materialise in the mere 120 minutes plus shoot-outs which it takes for England to gain the traditional result.

      1. Rich 11

        Re: Stats stats stats

        I am pleased to announce that England did not achieve the traditional result.

  6. BebopWeBop

    I'll go for the goat.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Curried? Yum yum!

    2. Rich 11

      I'll go for the goat

      You can be arrested for that.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I thought the German team were famous for using AI (SAP) to boost their team's performance ? Look where that got them !

  8. AceRimmer1980
    Terminator

    Sir, the odds of successfully negotiating a football field are a million to one

    Never tell me the odds.

    1. 2Nick3

      Re: Sir, the odds of successfully negotiating a football field are a million to one

      "So you mean there's a chance?"

      1. JetSetJim
        Coat

        Re: Sir, the odds of successfully negotiating a football field are a million to one

        > "So you mean there's a chance?"

        Million to one chances crop up nine times out of ten. 's true, I heard it on the clacks

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What, we've forgotten about the Octopus already?

    How fickle, wasn't long ago the Octopus was being hailed as the way to go....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What, we've forgotten about the Octopus already?

      Aparently there was an Octopus in Japan doing rather well this year (predicted Japan's first two results correctly) ... until at that point the Octopus's owner realised the "Deal or No Deal" banker was making himan offer he couldn't refuse and the aforementioned arthropod was off to the sushi bar pronto!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Holmes

    Bollocks

    "Brazil are still favourites with a 29.9 per cent likelihood of taking home the spoils."

    Not any more they aren't.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Bollocks

      At least they can send Neymar to help those Thai kids.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    1966

    Feels like yesterday..

  12. Stuart 18

    I feel like IKEA might be doing goat's meatballs

    Type your comment here - if two nil is good enough for your genuine intelligence!? Whoo hoo it's coming home.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You're shit, but your birds are fit, et al

    Another victory of humanity over AI

  14. spold Silver badge

    Goats are very good at predicting which team will bleat the other...

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