back to article John McAfee plans 2020 presidential tilt

John McAfee will run for US president again. In spite of going on the run from the Securities Exchange Commission last month, McAfee yesterday Tweeted his decision, which reverses his previous statements that his political career was over. In spite of past refusals, I have decided to again run for POTUS in 2020. If asked …

  1. FozzyBear
    Alien

    I commented on his 2016 plan to run, that whilst he maybe crazier than some asylum inmates, it would at least make for entertaining news coverage.

    Then trump won and I am thinking that Mcafee needs to up his game, cause the last 18 months with trump at the helm has been an entertaining ride

    1. Rich 11

      Trump is waking up to the news this morning that McAfee will run if he is asked by his party, or will create his own party and run if he is not asked, and that he will issue his own currency with his name on it in big letters. Trump thinks he missed a trick in 2016. "I have good currency, the best currency. It says 'TrumpDollar' on it in yuge letters, so you know you can trust it. And unlike fake currencies TrumpDollars don't go negative so no-one can get into debt or go bankrupt. The Federal Reserve sure wish they'd thought of that one, but I have the best minds working for me at Trump University and they know things much better than the Deep State."

  2. MrDamage Silver badge

    Finally!

    After 4 long years, the US will have a comparatively sane president.

    1. JDX Gold badge

      Re: Finally!

      He makes Trump look like a safe pair of hands.

      1. MyffyW Silver badge

        Re: Finally!

        I think our systems of government are finally taking their cues from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. To misquote:

        "President of the Galaxy is a role that involves no power whatsoever, and merely requires the incumbent to attract attention so no one wonders who's really in charge"

        Which is certainly not a good sign, but not as worrisome as the asinine fools we elect continuing to wield nuclear-armed power.

        1. Lt.Kije

          Re: Finally!

          No power?

          If only.

          After years of prez's whining that their hands are tied Joe Isuzu gets electedand goes on a rampage.

          1. Teiwaz

            Re: Finally!

            No power?

            If only.

            Well, insofar as the previous Presidents acts generally seem to get disassembled, jumped up and down on and then buried deep in the woods by the next in the door, yes, no power.

            It's getting kind of like a Fool as 'King for a day'

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Finally!

          Alternatively: "anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."

        3. Frank Bitterlich
          Alert

          Re: Finally!

          You may be right. I've always thought that McAfee looks a bit like Zaphod Beeblebrox.

          And Donald Trump certainly acts the part.

          Awaiting the arrival of the Vogon Constructor Fleet any day now...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He can try but Trump will sadly get a second term. why? because people and the press are still calling Trump voters idiots.

    1. Jemma

      Re Trumptards

      If the babygro fits...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Re Trumptards

        Please stop shilling for Trump.

        Think they're idiots all you want, but try to make them vote the right way. Or do you think Trump is the right way, hmm?

        1. Jemma

          Re: Re Trumptards

          Doesn't matter what anyone else says to them - they'll do it anyway. And thank <insert deity here> for the two terms law, or they'd be doing it for the life of the cretin.

          The only non terminal way of solving this problem is education - but since most of them think Heydrich was a fashion designer and (a) Gondwanaland was a short lived Jeep special edition.. They aren't whingeing about evolution because of the retarded fish squirrels - it's simply because it means the Africans and Africa are purer humans and that really grinds their gears (so do most of them since driving stick for them is more terrifying than having an original thought).

          The proper way to solve the problem that is the average or lesser spotted trumptard involves voting records, large pits and lots and lots of VX or even Hydrogen Cyanide (you can still buy it for fruit trees, don't tell the Israelis). It'll also help the environment, reduce pollution and environmental loads, not to mention reduce food and other imports and raise the collective IQ of the country to something resembling that of normal members of the species. It's a win win scenario.

          PS: Dear World Leaders - should you collectively decide to follow my suggestion I would ask one favour - eliminate as a matter of urgency Westboro Baptists and all similar groups. You'll thank me for it. I'd personally suggest industrial meat grinders, feet first.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Re Trumptards

            Don't hold back...

            Personally I believe everyone has the capacity to change but calling them stupid just entrenches them in their opinion and makes them more likely to go out and vote.

            Nobody want to invest in education, just enough so they'll do a minimum wage job or two and be quiet is enough for the politicians, can't have people thinking, it's dangerous when they realise the whole system is screwed and nearly everyone is in a race to the bottom. It also serves to allow you to pit one colour against another or one generation against another so while everyone is blaming each other they ignore the elephant in the room.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Re Trumptards

              No, do hold back.

              In this day and age all a shit politician needs to win is for the sound arguments against them to be smothered by hate fuelled and fact sparse diatribes like the one above. Every time you make that kind of post you are hiding a reasoned anti-Trump argument.

              1. Jemma

                Re: Re Trumptards

                You want a reasoned argument?

                He's Donald Trump.

                A slightly more detailed reasoned argument.

                He's a horse faced misogynistic sociopath who is to successful business what Jimmy Saville was to compassionate childcare. His policies on the environment and practically everything else would have Suharto, Pol Pot, Chaucescu and Stalin going pale and suggesting he back it off a little. Single handed he's done his level best to destroy NASA, the EPA, and every scrap of scientific worth he can get his mitts on (pun not intended) .

                He's got the social grace of duckweed and about the same level of understanding of international affairs. He's managed to undermine and piss off every department of government in a way uniquely his own.

                Not to mention that almost every single idea he's had has been racist, homophobic, or recidivist to some degree (or all three) and almost all of them have fallen flatter than a 50th floor suicide.

                The man has put back gender, race and sexuality acceptance by 20 years and now all the Trumptards and Trumpettes who are racists have carte blanche to put the boot in (or more likely ram the shotgun* somewhere intimate). I'd love to see the hate crime figures from when Trump got in - I'd imagine a graph going up faster than a F35 on reheat.

                But you've missed the point entirely. It really doesn't matter that Trump is a sociopathic cockwomble of epic proportions who is about as good for the human race as a worldwide Marburg pandemic. It really is of no consequence that the little cretin should have been drowned at birth or will be singlehandedly responsible for screwing up the environment and international relations possibly permanently. He was perfectly happy to admit these facts - he's even proud of them.

                No. The terrifying thing is EVEN KNOWING THIS FULL WELL 51% OF THE COUNTRY VOTED FOR A SOCIOPATHIC, RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC, MISOGYNISTIC, ILL EDUCATED, CORRUPT AND DANGEROUS IDIOT. which basically makes every single one of those people a small copy of Trump.

                Over half of the United States population think living in a mash up of Deliverance, Sore-Ass Hill**, Mad Max & Squidbillies via Dr Strangelove and "the day after tomorrow" is a fantastic concept.

                And some of them did it because they were more scared of the alternative - a woman.

                I don't know about you, but that scares me rigid.

                * "Fer poof blastin'"

                ** Brokeback Mountain for non cynics.

                PS: the British Tory party supported Bobbie "I'm not a Syphilis riddled nutcase" Mugabe and he's visited the UK - despite the fact he's the deranged dictators deranged dictator and uses copies of the Geneva Convention for toilet paper (he's certainly never read it). The Tories don't even want Donnie Dickwit in the country - because he's worse than Mugabe! That's not a position to aspire to. And the American people put him there, "democratically".

                As pTerry said "The problem with democracy is that you can't stop Nobby Nobbs from having a vote". Congratulations on half an entire country of Nobby Nobbses.

          2. Stu Mac

            Re: Re Trumptards

            It sounds like you need therapy, delivered inside some secure unit.

            1. Jemma

              Re: Re Trumptards

              If I'd have detailed this situation 5 years ago to my GP as reality they *would* have put me in a secure unit on the basis I'm nucking futs.

              A Russian elected American president whose a deranged psychopath - elected by a mixture of hacking, misdirection and inbred rednecks.

              A weekly US school machine gunning

              An hourly London stabbing or death by moped

              Imploding EU

              Volcanoes erupting out of nowhere (trained geologist, that simply doesn't happen)

              People actually listening to a Rees-Mogg.

              Womb transplants

              Murderous poofs on the beeb

              Italians making cars (other than Ferraris) that people actually want!

              American president trying to start 2 nuclear wars at the same time

              Dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria

              You'd never be able to sell modern reality as a movie script - no one would believe you.

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                Re: Re Trumptards

                You need to work on your definition of a reasoned argument.

                In the meantime, if you want to avoid 4 more years of Trump please stop what you're doing. Just stay away from politics and let more seasoned campaigners take it from here. You've already literally told anti-trumpers to give up and that's wrong.

                Assuming you don't like Trump that is. I've not written off that you are on his payroll.

                Either way, just stop, you're making it harder to stop him getting 4 more years.

  4. getHandle

    Fscking fruitloop

    Pass the popcorn!

  5. Jemma

    I for one will welcome our dribbling overlord - oh wait, that's the current incumbent.

    It isn't possible for anyone or anything to be worse than Donnie Dickwit. It's like watching a whole continent version of a wasp landing on a stinging nettle - someone's gonna get stung but you just don't care.

    1. sqlrob

      Yeah, it is.

      He's incompetent and evil. Try competent and evil instead.

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Alert

        Try competent and evil instead.

        Me! Me! Me!

        Says a rich bloke from California (Menlo Park)

  6. JLV

    Lawyers, guns and money.

    Drugs, hookers, and booze.

    Can't be worse than the headless Trump twitter machine.

    1. Khaptain Silver badge
      Trollface

      Lawyers, guns and money, drugs, hookers, and booze...

      That kinda sums up the Good Old USA for the last 100 years ( starting at prohibition). Just missing the Fake News Media, a la Fox News, some war mongering Presidents and were almost there.

      1. MyffyW Silver badge

        "Lawyers, guns and money, drugs, hookers, and booze..."

        Substitute "dragons" for "guns" and you could be writing a summary of just about any historic fiction

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Come back Donald

    You look ike a good choice compared to John McAfee. Why do satirists bother?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Come back Donald

      This is the moment you stop thinking of Trump as 100% negative.

      Time will tell where this train of logic ends up taking you.

  8. SVV

    Peter Norton announces he will run too!

    Feeling left out of the tech personality branded antivirus prez bid malarkey, Peter announces the concept of the "Norton Dollar", featuring a big picture of himself on the both sides of all the notes and coins as the proposed new US currency.

  9. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    Monopoly Money

    One use for this printed cryptocurrency. McAfee should talk to the rights holders (Hasbro etal?)

  10. Scott Broukell

    If McAfee is successful in his election campaign then he will need to prepare himself for a large quantity of false-positive stories put out by the media.

  11. ukgnome

    I totally adore this clown

  12. Mark 85

    Ya' think?

    McAfee might not be exactly up to speed this time around. ®

    Not news but still a very good observation. So when was he ever "up to speed"?

    1. handleoclast

      Re: Ya' think?

      So when was he ever "up to speed"?

      Always.

      Speed, coke, heroin, shrooms, ganja, all the time.

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