back to article Microsoft reckons devs would like an AI Clippy to help them write code

Microsoft has used its Build developer shindig in Seattle to rip the wrapping off IntelliCode, an AI-assisted development for Visual Studio. IntelliCode, which Microsoft described as a "first experimental preview", is the name for a range of AI-enabled enhancements planned for its venerable but bloated development environment …

  1. Tigra 07
    Facepalm

    #Nostalgia

    "Hello, I see you're busy writing code! Would you like me to annoy the fucking shit out of you and disrupt you?!

    1. Rafael #872397
      Go

      Re: #Nostalgia

      This is more than 10 years old and it still deserves a chuckle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUvcYP859fg

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: #Nostalgia

        beer for the Salmon Days "clippy clip" - it was the first thing that entered my mind when I saw the article's title.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Linux

        Re: #Nostalgia

        @Rafael #872397: "This is more than 10 years old and it still deserves a chuckle:"

        See also Matrix Runs on Windows XP :]

        1. Peter2 Silver badge

          Re: #Nostalgia

          And this (Microsoft) advert for office XP (2001) is ~17 years old and advertises Microsoft Office (eXcluding Paperclip) as one of it's primary features!

          Alas, probably the last time Microsoft listened to loud screaming from the userbase.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu_Pzuwy-JY

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAsV6_AawVw

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hello...

    I see you're writing code in code *bang*

  3. adnim

    Would clippy teach one to code to

    Microsoft standards?

    Yes, it is a leading question .

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There is a reason that I gave up developing for the MS Platform

    Memories of Clippy Arrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh

    F**k Off.

    MS Must be really short of ideas these days. The words 'clutching at straws' seem appropriate.

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: There is a reason that I gave up developing for the MS Platform

      I already *HATE* [lack of intelligence]Intelli-sense getting in the way of my high speed typing. Now they're making it WORSE...

      /me goes back to using 'pluma' to edit code...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      'venerable but bloated development environment'

      Many devs use ReSharper C++ / Visual Assist X etc as IntelliSense is so slow/useless, even on game dev rigs.

      Back to clang...???

  5. DNTP

    "Hello it looks like you are writing code...

    ...let me autocorrect arrays to start at 1 instead of 0, insert a currency symbol next to every floating point number and round the decimal to the hundredths place, every instance of / to a random longform date, and every American spelling to its English equivalent."

    1. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: "Hello it looks like you are writing code...

      don't forget "auto-edit+refactor that variable/function name to conform with Hungarian notation and CamelHumping"

      [there are people who absolutely HATE Hungarian notation and shift-ridden function names - and sometimes THEY set the shop standards]

      Micro-shaft: dumbing-down the developers, developers, developers, developers since they invented ".Not" and C-pound and then shoved it up our as down our throats (because they couldn't Embrace, Extend, Extinguish Java) !

      /me points out Android Studio isn't much better, out-of-the-box enforcing K&R style. Yuck. I spend the 30 minutes' time to fix that, make it Allman style, no hard tabs [so I can keep what little sanity I have left].

      And we don't need "Micro-shaft Clippy" doing even WORSE...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ah the good old days of Microsoft

    Clippy, tada.wav, WinXP search assistant dog, Microsoft Plus!, clear and concise dialog messages, qbasic gorilla and nibbles, Microsoft Ants.

    Silly, goofy, whimsical... but endearing.

    Not like the current Microsoft hell-bent on making Skynet a reality.

    1. Franco

      Re: Ah the good old days of Microsoft

      Skynet is a reality, it's a hidden easter egg in the soon to be released new version of Bob.

      1. Fungus Bob
        Windows

        Re: Ah the good old days of Microsoft

        Not going to be any new versions of Bob. Writing Code is Serious Business so the new product will be Microsoft Robert...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    Why not wire it up to Stackoverflow as well and be done with it? You'll have your code writing itself 8) What could possibly go wrong?

    1. Pseudonymous Howard

      Do you know Stacksort?

      Find it here:

      https://gkoberger.github.io/stacksort/

      Basically it's an xkcd that became real.

  8. Cynic_999

    Could be worse ..

    Microsoft could have decided to serve up content-related adverts as you type in your code. As it is it will merely auto-correct your typos into something you did not intend, so instead of generating an error at compile time that you can fix instantly, it will result in an obscure bug that your customers will find for you.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Devil

      Re: Could be worse ..

      "Hey, I see you'd need a good book about C++, or even better, an in-depth course about writing secure code. Click here buy the book, or here to subscribe to the course"

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Could be worse ..

      " As it is it will merely auto-correct your typos into something you did not intend, [...]"

      A system programmer was testing their error reporting by submitting a box of cards to produce the most common errors.

      Next morning the job tray came back - with the printout showing a perfect run. Not an error in sight.

      The punch room women who transcribed the programmer's sheets to cards were familiar with seeing the common errors - and fixed them as they typed.

  9. Pen-y-gors

    Radical new idea

    This idea of some sort of 'sharing' where a 'buddy' in your 'team' can 'view' what you're doing on your screen, without having to stand next to you sounds like a really neat idea. You would be able to remotely share your desktop with someone else if you asked them 'LogMeIn' please. Damn clever. I'm amazed no-one has thought of it before. It could be really useful for offering remote support, or to let dodgy Indian purveyors of malware help you install malware on your Windows machine.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Windows 1803 install

    My PC downloaded Windows 1803 for me.

    The install crashed.

    So my PC downloaded it again for me.

    It crashed again.

    So my PC downloaded it again for me.

    It crashed again.

    So I looked through the logs to see if I could find the problem.

    I found FORTY FIVE MEGABYTE "Human Readable" LOG FILES.

    But nothing identifying the problem.

    So I downloaded an application Microsoft have written to identify the cause of setup crashes, called setupdiag.exe.

    It crashed.

    Someone needs help writing code, but it isn't Microsoft's CUSTOMERS.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    With folded hands...

    "Hi! I see you're researching code APIs to find the best solution. Want me to do that so you never have to learn anything, ever again?"

  12. Gene Cash Silver badge

    What?

    M-x clippy isn't good enough?

  13. Allan George Dyer
    Facepalm

    "shows top recommendations based on 2,000 open-source projects on GitHub to second guess what you are likely to want"

    Aren't the code fragments that are most discussed going to be the ones that were going wrong?

    So it plagiarises someone-else's errors?

  14. martinusher Silver badge

    Kill! Kill!! Kill!!!!

    One of the most irritating things you can have happen when programming is the editor helpfully adding braces and parentheses where it thinks you want them. Some of them even flag syntax errors as you type -- brilliant, except that typing generates syntax errors 'by definition', they'd rather slow down the process to a nice two finger speed and put little handy symbols up than just leave you alone to get your work done.

    I have a theory that a lot of languages, especially scripting languages, came about because people couldn't type. They'd not only go to great lengths to avoid rewriting badly structured code (that first draft is always a bit iffy and sometimes you've just got to chuck it and redo from start) and they spend many hours devising languages that don't require semicolons (Python, I'm looking at you....). I can understand some of this when looked at from the PoV of really old editors -- I've only seen one person use 'vi' properly and it was a thing of wonder (the rest of us get by on a couple of commands and a cheat sheet) -- but modern text editors are straightforward, simple and robust. At least, they should be.

  15. T. F. M. Reader

    Some lines that caught my attention...

    recommendations based on 2,000 open-source projects on GitHub

    Carefully chosen for the quality of software engineering, one fervently hopes...

    No user-defined code is sent to Microsoft

    But all the generated/suggested code is, right? Should be enough to figure out what the developer is doing...

    The system can also redirect a web application running on the host's machine so that guests can view it in their own web browser.

    As opposed to sharing a screen in one of a zillion ways (including some of Microsoft's own, e.g., Skype)?

    1. frank ly

      Re: Some lines that caught my attention...

      "Guests can roam as they like through the code, or follow the cursor of another coder as they edit."

      Perfect for PHBs to monitor and manage you.

      http://dilbert.com/strip/1994-06-08

  16. JJKing
    Facepalm

    Oh dear!

    It looks like you are trying to write code and need help with adding some bugs?

    Over the years I have installed thousands of copies of Office but not one ever had Clippy enabled. I loathed that useless piece of code!

  17. Crisp
    Coat

    It was a joke!

    When I sent that request to the Microsoft Customer Improvement Program I was just trying to make a joke!

    I never expected them to take me seriously.

  18. MrKrotos

    Hello, I see you're busy writing some fresh exploit code! Would you like me to upload it to the App Store to save you some time?

  19. John H Woods Silver badge

    I'm going to suggest ...

    ... that if there's any chance an automated system can successfully autocomplete your code, you are using a language with unnecessary redundancy, Rectangle rectangle = Rectangle.new(); and other such nonsense.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I see you are writing in Python ...

    let me get rid of all that extra whitespace for you ....

    This one might even be useful - languages relying on white space should be taken out and shot .. along with Clippy

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