I'm sure they'll get to the bottom of it in the end.
No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS
A suspected drug dealer accused of swallowing his stash has become internet famous – after refusing to take a dump, and thus provide the cops their evidence, for 22 DAYS and counting. The 24-year-old fella was arrested by Essex police on January 17 in Harlow, England. He is believed to have wolfed down several packages of …
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Saturday 10th February 2018 03:19 GMT Anonymous Coward
Obligatory 1942 movie clip.
The fun starts about the 4 minute mark...
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Sunday 11th February 2018 14:30 GMT bombastic bob
Re: The Assagne option
"Have they offered him Ferrero Rocher?"
Or perhaps disguise some of THESE as Ferrero Rocher
I once heard a rumor of someone getting hot chocolate made from that stuff, as a bad prank/retaliation. It's why you don't anger the people who prepare your food.
(grabbing coat)
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Friday 9th February 2018 22:42 GMT Anonymous Coward
I've just realised I'm evil.
I would cook lots of bacon outside his cell for about half an hour then pass him a bacon butty with brown sauce on toasted white bread. The bacon would be cooked with the fatty bits being slightly crispy with a golden colour. The sandwich itself would be served open so you could see that layer of bacon juice left on the slices. I would then offer a pint of lager to wash it down should he eat it.
Muhahahaha.
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Saturday 10th February 2018 04:17 GMT Dave 126
The Geneva Convention only covers combatants in war - which is why tear gas can be used legally on your own citizens but not on enemy soldiers. Indeed, tear far and similar substances are originally developed for warfare, but after the Convention the manufacturers had to lobby for a new market: "Crowd Control".
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Saturday 10th February 2018 10:47 GMT Anonymous Coward
Don’t forget the eggs
I swear by eggs when visiting certain customers where using the toilet would be undesirable*. I get up nice and early, have plenty of bacon and eggs and let the eggs go through me before I leave the hotel.
* Customers in Africa, where one particularly memorable (and actually very modern) office was still under construction, and the toilet was a shared bucket. One colleague had a worse experience, in Angola, where they guaranteed the route to the bucket (outside) had been cleared of mines.
Anon, because employer probably thinks it reflects badly on them when I discuss some of my site experiences.
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Monday 12th February 2018 03:03 GMT I ain't Spartacus
Yes. For some reason I find that toast doesn't work as well for bacon butties. Though it's great with a fry-up. Fresh, soft white rolls, lightly buttered, and bacon that's been cooked so the fat has crisped up but the bacon hasn't. Personally I don't really want beer with it. A big mug of tea that's just dropped to perfect "guzzling temperature" is all-important, maybe with a glass of orange juice on the side.
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Friday 9th February 2018 23:22 GMT Adam 52
Not sure why this is news, it happens all the time. These people make themselves very ill. And have to be watched 24 hours a day because they will swallow if they can, and then one of the bags may rupture inside. So that's one of the places your tax is going.
If he dies from his self-inflicted injuries there will be an automatic IPCC (whatever they're called now) investigation and you can bet somewhere a minor paperwork issue (there are 30 forms a day need authorising to keep him in custody) will lead to someone getting in trouble. Remember this next time you see death in custody statistics and are tempted to a knee jerk response.
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Saturday 10th February 2018 07:24 GMT Voland's right hand
and then one of the bags may rupture inside
It is pretty much guaranteed to do so after 24 days. Dunno what he swallowed, but at this point this is starting to look like cops are violating the law which prohibits assisting suicide.
They should have gotten a slightly different court order long ago. A more invasive one.
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Saturday 10th February 2018 12:53 GMT TRT
On the other hand...
Even if he's completely innocent and passes no classified substances out of his pooper, the police could still do him for aiding and abetting the supply of illegally obtained cryptocurrency.
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Saturday 10th February 2018 20:07 GMT Eddy Ito
"or otherwise inserted the gear into himself"
Presumably this bit indicates using the back door approach.
That said, it seems pretty shady to hold someone so long on a mere "belief" of the plods. Do they have anyone who witnessed his either eating or inserting? If not that's one hell of a low standard of proof to confine someone for over three weeks.
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Sunday 11th February 2018 00:04 GMT John Brown (no body)
"That said, it seems pretty shady to hold someone so long on a mere "belief" of the plods. Do they have anyone who witnessed his either eating or inserting? If not that's one hell of a low standard of proof to confine someone for over three weeks."
These days, it's quite probable that they have video evidence that is at least highly suggestive that he was ramming stuff down his throat. I doubt it's just a suspicion, although you never can tell these days, depending on which force it is.
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Sunday 11th February 2018 00:01 GMT John Brown (no body)
"That would be unusual. It's very risky and needs careful packaging. More likely they would have been inserted via the anus, which is standard procedure for a dealer concerned about being searched."
Having watched a number of Police fly-on-wall documentaries over the years, no, I'd say it's not that unusual for crims to swallow drugs. Some will shove it up their arses but since they are likely to get a full strip search anyway if the cops suspect that situation and the drugs will be recovered pretty quickly, it seems some thick dealers will use the swallow method in the hope they will be released before it passes through. I doubt they are thinking things through properly and have no consideration for the possible consequences if the bags burst. They are only thinking of the here and now and have vague recollections of urban legends about swallowing or transporting drugs internally. Remember, these are not the sharpest tools in the toolbox. They're just dull tools.
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Saturday 10th February 2018 05:32 GMT Charles 9
BS on the BS. They know it's an indigestible plastic package that would at best pass through undigested and at worst harm the swallower. Why else would the suspect do so except to conceal it? Much like being arrested at the document shredder.
I'm surprised there hasn't been a court order to force feed a laxative.
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Saturday 10th February 2018 09:48 GMT DavCrav
Random Internet person said:
"In the US, his lawyer would probably file for Habeas Corpus - charge him, or let him go."
Article said:
"However, the bloke – who has been charged with possession with intent to supply class A drugs – has refused to make use of the plod's facilities ever since his arrest."
Does random Internet person look stupid now?
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Saturday 10th February 2018 06:56 GMT scrubber
Nice precedent for our corrupt police
So plod can hold you indefinitely by lying to a judge that you have swallowed a packet that might be drugs and haven't pooped yet? That will never be misused.
Stopping this kind of police abuse of power is what the judiciary is supposed to be for.
Icon, because of course...
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Saturday 10th February 2018 11:40 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Nice precedent for our corrupt police
"So plod can hold you indefinitely by lying to a judge that you have swallowed a packet that might be drugs and haven't pooped yet?"
If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to hold in. And unlike privacy, any sane person would be happy to let them have it in exchange for their freedom.
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Monday 12th February 2018 14:08 GMT Anonymous Coward
> The smell of police food? That explains why he is still stuck up.
It's not that bad actually. In my experience, presentation is below airline food levels and taste about the same, but on the other hand the rations are plentiful, nutritious and well balanced. Nothing to complain about in that respect.
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Sunday 11th February 2018 20:57 GMT PNGuinn
Re: Much more important @ Pen-y-gors
"Abuse of the English language like that, using 'result' as a passive verb, deserves at least three years with hard."
Would you be subtlety suggesting that the CPS drone was anally retentive?
>> Thanks - it's the High Vis waterproof one with the rubber gloves in the pocketses.
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Sunday 11th February 2018 11:28 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: "preventing this from being resulted"
"Say whut...? That's not even English. No wonder the CPS has problems."
The CPS has deeper problems. Good barristers can earn a lot doing commercial work.
The French system of parallel careers is a good one. Separate training for juges d'examen (if that is still a thing, I'm going on A level French studies.)
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Sunday 11th February 2018 00:15 GMT John Brown (no body)
"If so, take a leaf out of the BOFH manual and bastardize his lager or liquid refreshment, so that he will impersonate both Timkin Rumbleguts and Grabpot Thundergust simultaneously."
Such as that stuff in the "pre-op" pack the hospital sends you before a bowel endoscopy? That's like drinking dynamite and ends up with a "ring of fire" worse than any curry can cause.
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Saturday 10th February 2018 18:44 GMT Fruit and Nutcase
Sphincter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow
As with Pandora's box, take cover when the sphincter opens.
...with apologies to Mr Clancy and Ubisoft
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Sunday 11th February 2018 11:32 GMT Anonymous Coward
"But, for a change, @Big John has not been downvoted!"
OT but when they get off their guns and trump hobbyhorses, both Big John and Bombastic Bob can produce some good posts. I used to work with some really nice people in Kentucky, if you disregarded the racism, the creationism and the gun racks. It takes all sorts to make a world, just so long as they don't come over here and vote.
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Sunday 11th February 2018 06:02 GMT Christopher Aussant
Jeez, they're going about this the wrong way. Simply set up a meeting with him and his lawyer to discuss his case as its ongoing, and leave a bowl of Haribo Sugar Free Gummi Bears in the room with them. Sure the lawyer may eat some too, but its a small risk. Just read the reviews for those on Amazon and you'll see why its all they need.
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