back to article Camels disqualified from Saudi beauty contest for Botox-enhanced pouts

Twelve cheating camels have been disqualified from a Saudi beauty pageant for having Botox injections to enhance their pouts. The contestants were due to compete in King Abdul Aziz Camel Festival festival, which has combined prize money of $57m (£40m). A vet had been caught giving camels plastic surgery including Botox …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did Katie Price still win?

    1. Paul Woodhouse

      She's more likely to pass as a Bactrian I guess...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I knew they were called the ship of the desert because they were full of Arabian semen, but I didn't realise they went as far as beauty contests?!

    3. Korev Silver badge
      Joke

      Did Katie Price still win?

      Surely that's Jordan not Saudi Arabia

  2. Tigra 07
    Coat

    Sounds like the cheaters were given the hump

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      I think their owners got their just deserts

  3. magickmark
    Coat

    Camel Love?

    Sounds like someone is getting the hump?

    Mines the one with the bulge in the pocket!

    @Tigra 07 - damn beat me to it !!

  4. ukgnome

    Well at least....

    it was only pout enhancing and not their toes.

    1. handleoclast
      Coat

      Re: Well at least....

      @ukgnome

      it was only pout enhancing and not their toes.

      Did you just mention camel toes?

  5. disgruntled yank

    Bunch of Pikers

    "Scandal hit in 1972 when “Big Mac,” the Grand Champion steer, was ruled ineligible. It had been previously entered at the American Royal Show in Kansas City as a white steer, but had been dyed black for the National Western Stock Show!"

    (https://www.azcentral.com/story/entertainment/events/2016/01/21/national-western-stock-show-through-years-history-colorado/79141426/)

    What this does not tell you is that the judges at the National Western Stock Show did not go purely by color of coat in taking Big Mac for a Black Angus, but also inspected membranes fore and aft: the kid who passed off the Hereford (I think) had gone to considerable lengths.

    1. Old Coot

      Re: Bunch of Pikers

      There's a William Faulkner novel (can't remember which) where a horse trader named Pat Stamper buys a guy's horse, dyes it, then sells it back to him for more money. Old trick, I guess.

  6. fajensen
    Terminator

    The Singularity is Here!

    ... but not exactly "The Singularity" that The Holy Church of Singularity(tm) wanted.

    These kind of news items are written by robots. Other robots attach adds to the news items. Yet other robots read all the news and all of the adds on behalf of other robots, who trade bitcoin, stocks, exotic derivatives or to drive click-ratings. Still other robots do A/B split testing to optimise the spammi-ness

    Finally robots make fresh new news items from the output from the preceding shoal of digital servants and the loop is closed for another trip.

    What we see is that the world becomes more and more surreal and impossible to understand.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: The Singularity is Here!

      world becomes more and more surreal and impossible to understand

      And AmanfromMars1 retires, it's work complete :-)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Saudi beauty pageant

    Not being funny but (yes I am) a beauty pageant for camels? how does that even work? I'd hump that one.

    1. jmch Silver badge

      Re: Saudi beauty pageant

      Well, they can't really have a beauty pageant for women... it would end up being a burqa fashion show

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      a beauty pageant for camels? how does that even work?

      Eye. Beholder.

      1. Kubla Cant

        Re: a beauty pageant for camels? how does that even work?

        Eye. Beholder.

        Shouldn't that be "Eye. Needle"?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Saudi beauty pageant

      It works exactly the same way as Crufts, Best of Show, Best of Breed, competitions work in the west.

      With the added benefit that we get to laugh at foreigners and their different ways.

      1. Simon Harris

        Re: Saudi beauty pageant - Crufts.

        Competitions between dogs actually doing something clever, I can appreciate - after all there's some skill gone into the training.

        Competitions between dogs just looking nice - that's probably something that other dogs should judge - ok, so it would probably just come down to a 'whose bottom smells nicest' competition.

        1. Tigra 07
          Coat

          Re: Saudi beauty pageant - Crufts.

          ...Aaaaand contestant number 363 - Humphrey! He likes long moonlit walks in the desert and shitting in public. And he's here with his Camel to sing us a traditional Arabian song.

        2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Saudi beauty pageant - Crufts.

          Competitions between dogs just looking nice

          Sadly, dog shows are not about "dogs looking nice" - they are about how closely dogs adhere to some mythical breed standard. Which, of course, doesn't at all lead to rampant inbreeding and the rise of badly gentically-damaged dogs at all!

          Oh wait - yes it does.

          So you - Kennel Club (and all your little international puppies) - get your acts together. Fix the source of the problem, not the problem itself. No use banning dogs with bad hip-dysplasia scores - fix the idiocy that lead to hip dysplasia in the first place. Other genetic malformations are available and also need fixing.

    4. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      Re: Saudi beauty pageant

      I've ridden camels a few times,.. and I've never got off one thinking 'what a magnificent animal', it's usually been 'stop that gurgling, 'cos if you spit on me I'm going Conan on your arse'.

  8. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge
    Thumb Up

    Had my laugh for the day.

    Thanks! :D

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But... but... but... CAMELTOES!!!

  10. Frederic Bloggs

    Er...

    What has the last paragraph got to do with camels? Is this some subtle #metoo comment that I am not getting? Botox making camels too robotic?

    Should I be thinking of welcoming our new robotic camel overlords with floppy lips and big erm.. heads soon?

  11. Pete 2 Silver badge

    Personality?

    > Apparently judges seek shapely humps, firm muscular physiques and luscious leathery mouths.

    And when interviewed, all the camels claimed they wanted to do charity work and help camels less fortunate than they were.

    I wonder if we should start to steel ourselves for the spin-off shows:

    I'm a Dromedary, get me out of here

    The hump factor

    ...

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Personality?

      Match of the Dromedary

  12. Alister

    Beer goggles

    That headline photo... Phwoooaaar!

  13. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Coat

    It makes the head more inflated so when the camel comes it's like, 'Oh look at how big is that head.

    At least crufts doesn't have a rumpy-pumpy round - so that the judges can decide which dog has the best expression at the height of ecstacy...

    Camels make enough weird noises when they're just standing there. You'd probably need the BBC Radiophonic Workshop to do justice to a parade ring full of camels in carnal bliss. And then an awful lot of booze to forget the sound afterwards...

  14. Howard Hanek
    Linux

    Question

    Sort of makes you wonder what 'other' parts of the camel have been 'enhanced'.

  15. Zebo-the-Fat

    Nice!

    Well.... you don't want an ugly camel do you?

  16. SVV

    Meanwhile in Saudi Arabia....

    They're rolling around helplessly in laughter as they watch TV reports on something called "The Yorkshire County Show" where Obediah Dungthwaite is proudly showing off his prize Frisian, as she wins a blue rosette and a massive £25 in cash. Apparently there was a bit of a scandal when old Obie was accused of cheating due to enhancing his cow's appearance by running a brush over it before the judging......

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Meanwhile in Saudi Arabia....

      "They're rolling around helplessly in laughter ....where Obediah Dungthwaite is proudly showing off his prize Frisian"

      I think you mean drooling over the screen. And Obediah probably doesn't wear robes because cows can hear zips at 50 paces....

  17. TRT Silver badge

    I seem to recall...

    That Terry Pratchett had quite a bit to say on the subject of camels.

    1. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

      Re: I seem to recall...

      Cud cudcud cud cud cud cudcudcud?

    2. Alister

      Re: I seem to recall...

      Indeed, YouBastard, as I recall...

      :)

  18. Mark 85

    I suppose that if dog and cat contests offered prize money equal to that for camel pageants, the cheating would be rampant.

    Upon further reflection, I'll add that even for human beauty pageants though, IIRC, there's as much going on as there is in the camel contests.

    1. Richard Parkin

      Cheating at dog shows.

      If you think there is no cheating at dog shows you have lived a very sheltered life. There can also be a lot of skill on the part of the handler in how they present the dog to conceal its faults.

  19. FozzyBear
    Alien

    so when the camel comes it's like, 'Oh look at how big is that head is. It has big lips, a big nose'."

    Ok, After reading the above in isolation, I am seriously thinking alcoholism as a new career path

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Just remind us - what's the IT angle here?

    Or is The Reg turning into the Fail Online?

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Just remind us - what's the IT angle here?

      It's Bootnotes.... a welcome respite from all the BS of politics, IT manglement, etc.

      1. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

        Re: Just remind us - what's the IT angle here?

        Indeed. We need a break from reality with a good dose of silliness and random stuff.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Just remind us - what's the IT angle here?

          We need a break from reality with a good dose of silliness and random stuff

          Yeah. Reality doesn't have any silliness and random stuff at all!

          Unless you work in any industry that provides a service[1] to people.

          [1] Stop sniggering at the back. I can hear you y'know. Yes - you laddie.

  21. Anonymous South African Coward Bronze badge

    Showed my wife this humps with botox article.

    She had a WTF look on her face. Priceless.

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