back to article Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Nothing quite says Christmas like greasy, calorific overindulgence, and this year budget sausage roll shop Greggs is ready to get you in the mood with its "treat-filled" limited-edition advent calendar. Each door reveals a tear-off token that can be taken into Greggs branches to be exchanged for a different treat every day …

  1. Alexander J. Martin

    “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

    Pie Jesu, surely?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

      Yeah, because Greggs sell lots of pee-ay.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

      Surely, Pi(e)ous?

      1. Scott Broukell

        Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

        Surely that should be "Lard Jesus" ?

    3. Professor Clifton Shallot

      Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

      Crust Almighty.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    All I want for Christmas...

    ...is type 2 diabetes

    1. Anonymous Custard
      Trollface

      Re: All I want for Christmas...

      ...and bigger knickers

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: All I want for Christmas...

      ...is type 2 diabetes

      Nah. Got that already. I'm now working on alcoholic renal failure..

  3. unwarranted triumphalism

    I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

    Small minds...

    1. horse of a different color

      I think you'll find they're only taking the pie-ss.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I think you'll find they're only taking the pie-ss.

        The Pie-SS? That'll be Greggs Deutschland, then?

        Ledswinger, Proud Earner of today's Godwin Award.

    2. Hollerithevo

      How lucky then...

      ...that you are exhorted to turn the other cheek and to love your enemy, rather than to get huffy.

      1. unwarranted triumphalism

        Re: How lucky then...

        Since I'm not religious I fail to see why I should follow any religious rules.

        Perhaps you could explain why I'm supposed to follow the rules of something I'm not a part of.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re:Re: How lucky then...

          "Perhaps you could explain why I'm supposed to follow the rules of something I'm not a part of."

          To avoid getting stoned to death for blasphemy or whatever is the traditional punishment for not doing as you were told by the blokes in dresses.

    3. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

      It's the gift that keeps giving…

    4. caffeine addict

      Where exactly was the religion bashing?

      1. horse of a different color

        I rise above it. It’s the yeast I can do.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @ caffeine addict and Where exactly was the religion bashing?

        More faith in "religion bashing", that way you don't have to prove the "religion bashing" existed or believe otherwise once proven wrong.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @ caffeine addict and Where exactly was the religion bashing?

          Is that the same as Bishop Bashing or is that something else?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I don't seem to remember Santa at the manger?

      Maybe he turned up late with some steak bakes having got lost just west of Jerusalem and didn't make the final copy edition of the bible.

      1. Mage Silver badge

        Santa

        Born much later and they think they recently know which formerly Byzantium Church has the tomb. He was a bloke that distributed stuff in his own locality to some poor people.

        I've no idea when folk myth added flying reindeer or the necessity for a large red truck.

        As Pratchett pointed out, people do love stories. Boar drawn sleigh? Sort of Nordic. Vanadis / Freya had a sleigh drawn by cats and rode a large boar. Possibly naked. Any connection between the formerly popular Norse Demi-godess and any original Vanir chieftess may be tenuous.

        1. Teiwaz

          Re: Santa

          Norse Demi-godess

          Someone still has their monotheistic superstitions switched on....

          Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

          Not a demi-goddess, just because norse mythology doesn't have the same academic gravitas as the classical mythologies.

          1. Mage Silver badge

            Re: Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

            Ah, History written by winners.

            The Romans (and Julius Caesar in his writings) knew most of their gods were re-labelled Greeks. They and later scholars assumed this applied to everyone. Mainland European Celts, particularly in Julius's time.

            While there are certain themes that are universal, Freya is NOT a Norse Venus/Aphrodite/Astarte/Isis.

            Lugh is not Mercury/Hermes. The Dagda, Odin/Wotan etc are not Zeus.

            "demi" means not exactly or half. The Norse and Celtic mythic figures have a complex relationship to the idea of Worship. Legend gradually grows the godness of them, especially Celtic. The oldest major Norse texts are quite late, maybe 12th C Icelandic, I'm not sure. Irish texts are the oldest texts not about Greek/Roman myth in Western Europe. Some echo ancient Hindi / Indus valley stories, few Irish or Norse texts are like Greek or Roman.

            Neo-pagan Celtic and Norse stuff is mostly made up in the 19th C as no actual written record of any rites exist. There are ornaments presumed to be religious amulets in Norse/Scandi graves. Loads of Scandi places are named after Freya.

            The connection between Danu and Ireland seems to be a quite late post Christian invention as she was river goddess of the Danube. Ancient Irish texts mention goddesses of Boyne, Shannon and other Irish rivers. The Tuath Dé Danaan (Tribe of Goddess Danu) were originally only called Tuath Dé, the Tribe or people of the God. (Asterix's By Toutatis means by the God of the Tribe).

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

              "The Norse and Celtic mythic figures have a complex relationship to the idea of Worship."

              Didn't they retire and move to New Zealand? I saw a documentary about it.

              1. Wupspups

                Re: Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

                A most excellent reference Sir! Tis a pity most will not get it.

                Right where is Olaf with the weed!

        2. handleoclast
          IT Angle

          Re: Santa

          I've no idea when folk myth added flying reindeer or the necessity for a large red truck.

          The derivation of much Christmas symbolism is to be found here. Enjoy your glass of hallucinogenic reindeer piss.

          Note: beware of Harvey Weinstein or Louis CK offering to decorate your tree with "tinsel substitute."

        3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Santa

          or the necessity for a large red truck.

          Two words: Coca and Cola..

    6. Terry 6 Silver badge

      @unwanted triumphalism

      Until your irrelevant comment the only finger of fun was being pointed at Greggs and their significantly irreligious Advent calendar. But if you must open the door be prepared for the response.

    7. 's water music
      Happy

      small minds

      I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

      Not just bashing the bishop though. I also snigger at swearing and nudity

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: small minds

        I see you lot still find Gregg's bashing amusing

        - southern media elite

    8. hplasm
      Devil

      Brought to you by...

      "I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

      Small minds..." Are to be pitied, not laughed at... FTFY

      Naw- let's do both!

    9. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      Assuming the OP is a Christian...

      Better forgive whoever hurt your feelings then.

      1. unwarranted triumphalism

        Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

        You assume wrong then don't you.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

          @ unwarranted triumphalism

          Your getting a bit messianic aren't you? you are not the OP

          1. unwarranted triumphalism

            Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

            > you are not the OP

            I am.

            1. Pompous Git Silver badge

              Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

              "> you are not the OP

              I am."

              No! I am the OP...

            2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

              Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

              > you are not the OP

              I am.

              And I'm Brian and so's my wife…

          2. Stoneshop

            Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

            Your getting a bit messianic aren't you?

            No, he's just a very naughty boy. Now piss off.

        2. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

          You assume wrong then don't you.

          Well, if they're not, then they are just being offended on behalf of someone else, presumably without their consent, in which case they can just fuck off.

    10. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The truly enlightened go the pound bakery where you can get 3 heavenly sausage rolls for a quid, amen.

      1. Stevey
        Angel

        'you can get 3 heavenly sausage rolls for a quid, amen.'

        Is that what they mean by the holy trinity?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          holy trinity

          The parmo, the bun, and the rolly roast.

        2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          >iIs that what they mean by the holy trinity?

          No - that's a pagan idea that the early Catholic church appropriated for its own..

    11. Velv
      Trollface

      Don't worry. Godwin will be along shortly too

    12. Mage Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Christmas and Religion.

      Almost nothing of the Christmas activities has any connection with Christianity. It's not even the proper date for the birth, no shepherd will be having sheep out in the Bethlehem fields in December.

      I don't mind people having mince pies, Christmas trees, parties, decorations, fairy lights, alcoholic drink (drunkenness is wrong as is drink driving), Christmas cakes, Yule Logs, Christmas presents and "Santa Claus", because I'm not a 17th Century Puritan. I can't exactly see why Muslims and Ultra Orthodox would ban it because it's Christian, it's not. Perhaps because it's pagan, worldly, greedy self-indulgence? That's probably why Cromwell's crowd and the US Puritans banned it all.

      Lidl had a set of ladies socks for Advent and then a Cien Beauty products Advent Calendar (I think both might leave your female friend underwhelmed). Chocolate is popular.

      Lego had one. I see this year MegaBloks are copying them with a set of pseudo "minifigs". Lego is better.

      1. Pen-y-gors

        Re: Christmas and Religion.

        @Mage

        because I'm not a 17th Century Puritan

        And what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan, may I ask? Black goes with anything, and silver shoe buckles are totally un-necessary.

        1. Mage Silver badge
          Black Helicopters

          Re: what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan

          I'm not interested in being one. I think you can join them in some small US towns? Not sure. I think they have given up hanging Catholics and burning witches, so I suppose as long as they keep the laws of the land it's OK if you want to be one.

          I'm not interested in joining things generally. I suppose I admit to being a member of the human species. I'm suspicious of stereotypical labels as much as most organised religions.

          1. Pen-y-gors

            Re: what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan

            @Mage

            I think they have given up hanging Catholics and burning witches

            But what's the point of being a Puritan if you can't have fun hanging Catholics and burning witches? You've got to have some hobbies.

          2. Stoneshop

            Re: what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan

            burning witches,

            Mind that you have to weigh them first.

        2. Pompous Git Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          Re: Christmas and Religion.

          "And what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan, may I ask?"
          The Puritans were opposed to playing hide-the-sausage for fun.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Joke

          Re: Christmas and Religion.

          @Mage

          because I'm not a 17th Century Puritan

          And what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan, may I ask? Black goes with anything, and silver shoe buckles are totally un-necessary.

          Aunt: [slaps Blackadder twice] Wicked child!!! Chairs are an invention of Satan!

          In our house, Nathaniel sits on a spike!

          Edmund: ...and yourself...?

          Aunt: I sit on Nathaniel -- two spikes would be an extravagance.

    13. Pen-y-gors

      I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

      I thought it was all about slagging off a sleazy purveyor of fat-laden pastry who really seem to have failed to comprehend the traditional meaning of Christ-mas. John Lennon got mild criticism for saying the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, now Greggs are likening themselves to Christ!

      1. Aladdin Sane

        Nah, there's definitive proof that Greggs exists.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @Pen-y-gors "..slagging off a sleazy purveyor of fat-laden.. "

        I would say that it's more a free for all, burn everyone. Hey it's Christmas knock yourself out

    14. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I see you are very pie-ous

    15. emmanuel goldstein

      "I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing."

      It's not just amusing, it's absolutely essential these days.

  4. lafnlab
    Angel

    Sausage roll in a manger

    Is it kosher?

    1. theModge

      Re: Sausage roll in a manger

      I keep the kosher sausages right next to the halal bacon.

      My devoutly atheist Iranian friend went through a protracted phase of asking is the [pork product on the menu] halal in restaurants. It was quite funny the first couple of times. Especially when the waitress looked confused and went to ask the kitchen.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Sausage roll in a manger

        "[...] asking is the [pork product on the menu] halal in restaurants"

        In the kibbutz dining hall a rather fervent volunteer from New York wanted to know if the menu's "hamburgers" were pork free. The dining room supervisor assured him they were. In the kitchen I repeated the question - and the supervisor then just smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Sausage roll in a manger

          In the kibbutz dining hall

          Some of the early (non-Zionist) Kibbutzes did keep pigs. But to keep the more Orthodox neighbours happy, they labelled them as zebra farms..

      2. Mage Silver badge

        Re: keep the kosher sausages right next to the halal bacon.

        Certainly fake bacon is available made from Turkey or veggie.

        Tayto smoky bacon crisps are kosher and meat free.

        Many sausages are not pig. Steak, Beef, Venison, Turkey and Vegan are available.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: keep the kosher sausages right next to the halal bacon.

          "Certainly fake bacon is available made from Turkey or veggie..."
          I notice Beef Oxo is labelled "suitable for vegetarians" these days. Is nothing sacred?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: keep the kosher sausages right next to the halal bacon.

            " Is nothing sacred?"

            Don't you mean sacrificed?

          2. jake Silver badge

            Re: keep the kosher sausages right next to the halal bacon.

            "Certainly fake bacon is available made from Turkey or veggie."

            BURN THE HERETIC!

          3. jake Silver badge

            Re: keep the kosher sausages right next to the halal bacon.

            I can think of lots of things that are "suitable for vegetarians". Most of them inedible. Including OXO of any description.

        2. Stoneshop

          Re: keep the kosher sausages right next to the halal bacon.

          Tayto smoky bacon crisps are kosher and meat free.

          A pretty good vegetarian substitute for fried bacon cubes: dice a block of smoked tofu, put them in a hot skillet with a bit of oil, then after they're about halfway fried, add vegetable stock (quantity needs to be experimented with a bit, depending on the desired result). Keep the heat on until the stock has been absorbed into the cubes and the water evaporated, then fry until target crispiness achieved.

        3. onefang

          Re: keep the kosher sausages right next to the halal bacon.

          "Many sausages are not pig. Steak, Beef, Venison, Turkey and Vegan are available."

          Not to mention Kanga Banga's, available in any nearby Aussie supermarket.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sausage roll in a manger

      Yes, so long at it wears a wide brimmed black hat and has a ZZ Top beard.

    3. Teiwaz

      Re: Sausage roll in a manger

      Better than a mangy sausage roll.

    4. Jonathan Richards 1
      Joke

      Re: Sausage roll in a manger

      Apparently not, since TFA refers to pork mince. A poor choice for representing the infant who was later to become, arguably, the world's most famous Jew! Now, if only Greggs made a proper Cornish pasty...

      Ref.

  5. Big-G
    WTF?

    And....

    ......where's the IT angle on this bucket of words

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And....

      @ Big-G

      I am thinking someone got a free advent calendar, can we have a supersize me style investigation of health before and after Kat's indulgence. Sometimes the punishment fits the crime

      1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        Re: And....

        Yeah, I was thinking your digestion will be spurlocked after (less than) thirty days of pies.

    2. Hollerithevo

      Re: And....

      Do we not eat?

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: And....

        Do we not eat?

        Not if you are experimenting with the new Soylent.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: And....

      If you are working on site - out of hours - then you are grateful for any shop that sells a hot snack.

      In Pretoria, South Africa, we used to get our project team's food from a take-away just before they closed at 2am. As the shopkeeper only spoke Afrikaans then our only native-speaker in the team would fetch the order. She was always accompanied by whichever man was free at that moment.

      This went on for several weeks. On one occasion two men went with her. In the shop there was a more than usual exchange in Afrikaans. She gave us the translation of what the shopkeeper said later - along the lines of "you're doing well tonight "

    4. jake Silver badge

      Re: And....

      Big-G, may I introduce you to Bootnotes?

      Bootnotes covers all sins. Especially if pork related.

      All work & no play makes ElReg a dull vulture.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ unwarranted triumphalism

    " I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.", yes

    "Small minds..." take up religion?

    If you insist upon believing something that is evidently untrue then expect some stick.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      For once, can we leave the whole "Religion is bullshit" or "Atheists are cunts" thing at the door and JUST ENJOY THE SAUSAGE ROLLS!?!

      1. theModge

        Reasonably priced sausages rolls at that. May or may not contain sausage.

        1. LesB

          Applying the "Yes, Minister" principle

          They contain *British* sausages (aka the emulsified high-fat offal tube), which may or may not contain meat, depending on how you define "meat".

          1. John H Woods Silver badge
            Coat

            British Sausages.

            At least they're not German ones ... they're the wurst

            1. Korev Silver badge
              Coat

              Re: British Sausages.

              Is that you Conchita?

        2. Tom 7

          May or may not contain sausage.

          will produce fat rolls.

          1. emmanuel goldstein

            Re: May or may not contain sausage.

            "will produce fat rolls."

            and fat trolls.

        3. magickmark
          Windows

          CTMO Dibbler

          I wonder if Mr Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler, will have an angle on this?

          Christmas ona stick, sausage ina blanket, some meat guaranteed in every item!

        4. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          May or may not contain sausage.

          I suspect that the formal declension of the word sausage is wide enough to cover a whole multiplicity of ingredients.

          Some of them are even edible.

          And even fewer are actually nice to eat.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Wolfetone said "For once, can we leave the whole "Religion is bullshit" or "Atheists are cunts" thing at the door and JUST ENJOY THE SAUSAGE ROLLS!?!"

        Your sentence exemplifies why religion is a bad thing, atheists don't like religions but religious people don't like atheists i.e. people rather than ideas.

        For saying the "jealous god" religions are presented as being "good" they always seem to promote intolerance.

        1. wolfetone Silver badge

          "Wolfetone said "For once, can we leave the whole "Religion is bullshit" or "Atheists are cunts" thing at the door and JUST ENJOY THE SAUSAGE ROLLS!?!"

          Your sentence exemplifies why religion is a bad thing, atheists don't like religions but religious people don't like atheists i.e. people rather than ideas.

          For saying the "jealous god" religions are presented as being "good" they always seem to promote intolerance."

          My sentence exemplifies one thing which you don't want to admit: I want to enjoy the sausage rolls without getting in to an argument that can never be won by either party.

          This is a discussion about sausage rolls. Not religion.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            This is a discussion about sausage rolls

            Didn't Jesus feed the masses with sausage rolls?

            or was it fish and loaves, I forget, it was probably changed for health reasons anyway.

            1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

              Re: This is a discussion about sausage rolls

              It was going to be bread and fishes - but then they demanded a gluten free vegan alternative

            2. onefang
              Coat

              Re: This is a discussion about sausage rolls

              "Didn't Jesus feed the masses with sausage rolls?

              "or was it fish and loaves, I forget, it was probably changed for health reasons anyway."

              So that'll be fish sausage rolls then.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            This is a discussion about sausage rolls. Not religion.

            There are no arguments about sausages rolls, if you are finding they repeat on you then avoid Greggs?

          3. Jim 59

            After searching extensively for a religion to lightly desecrate in support of a sales campaign, Greggs bravely chooses Christianity.

          4. Florida1920

            @Wolfetone

            I want to enjoy the sausage rolls without getting in to an argument that can never be won by either party.
            And yet, here you are!

      3. Scroticus Canis
        Devil

        JUST ENJOY THE SAUSAGE ROLLS!?!

        You haven't met Dibbler yet have you?

        Judging by the taste and gristle I am sure Greggs got their recipe from him.

        (Oh bugger just saw @magickmark beat me to it)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Free pastry goodness from Greggs actually proves the existence of god because how else would you explain something so perfect happening at Christmas.

      To top that off it also proves he's Christian because it involves pork.

      I challenge thee to disprove my logic disbelievers.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I challenge thee to disprove my logic disbelievers.

        Free pastry goodness from Greggs actually proves the existence of god because how else would you explain something so perfect happening at Christmas.

        Not free, advent calendar must be purchased, unless ofc you provide promotion.

        QED

    3. unwarranted triumphalism

      > believing something

      Not religious. Try again, this time without making idiotic assumptions - can you do that?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > If you insist upon believing something that is evidently untrue then expect some stick.

      I rather think a lot of people would be quite interested to see your proof of the absence of a God.

      Likely untrue, maybe. But not evidently. A real scientist would never be so sloppy!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I rather think a lot of people would be quite interested to see your proof of the absence of a God.

        Since there can never be proof of something not existing then divide your " a God" into Occam's razor and the resultant proof is infinite.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        >I rather think a lot of people would be quite interested to see your proof of the absence of a God.

        Designing an experimental protocol would be.. interesting.

  7. Danger Mouth
    Coat

    I took the window of opportunity

    Is this based on the Greggorian Calendar?

  8. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

    The body of christ

    Turns out to be 98% gristle

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The body of christ

      Turns out to be 98% gristle

      To be fair to Greggs, I've never got one of those retch-inducting great lumps of gristle that supermarkets manage to put in their economy sausages. Doesn't mean it isn't there, but if it is, at least Greggs make sure it's ground down so that is isn't apparent.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: The body of christ

        retch-inducting great lumps of gristle that supermarkets manage to put in their economy

        The clue is in the labelling. As with so many things[1] in life, buying 'economy' is usually futile.

        [1] Sausages, chocolate, wine[2], members of the appropriate gender..

        [2] Well, sometimes. Some cheap wine is surprisingly drinkable, especially if drunk quite close to the producer..

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: The body of christ

          Cheap wine should NEVER be imbibed when drunk! Especially not when close to the producer ... us vintners have seen more than out fair share of drunken idiots.

  9. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    Makes a change from chocolate

    But my favourite advent calendar would use miniatures… strictly for playing draughts with, of course.

    1. Andytug

      Re: Makes a change from chocolate

      You can get Advent calendars with whisky minatures in, but they're between £100-£250 depending on how rare/expensive you prefer whisky to be (think Whisky Exchange website did them). Booths also do a craft beer one (£60, bottle a day)

    2. Velv
      Go

      Re: Makes a change from chocolate

      Gin - John Lewis.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: Makes a change from chocolate

        Gin - John Lewis.

        Very tempting, even though I don't like gin and shipping here would be extortionate…

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Makes a change from chocolate

      Virgin Wines do a grape-booze based advent calendar.

  10. Goldmember

    "infamous Festive Bake"

    Crikey, even their own spokespeople admit their food products are sketchy.

    Doesn't stop me really wanting a Festive Bake right now, though...

  11. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    I said to my wife "That sausage roll was good enough for Jehovah."

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      BLASPHEMY!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        BLASPHEMY! ?

        Sausage rolls remember, not religion you just can't leave it lay can you

        1. wolfetone Silver badge

          Re: BLASPHEMY! ?

          "Sausage rolls remember, not religion you just can't leave it lay can you"

          I think you'll find in this case it's Monty Python, not sausage rolls and/or religion.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: BLASPHEMY! ?

          "Sausage rolls remember, not religion"

          It may not be for you good sir but up here in the north we gather every week to worship our savoury sausage saviour. The recipe for which can be found in the good book of the hairy bikers. It is the body, the blood is gravy.

          1. Scroticus Canis
            Alert

            Re: BLASPHEMY! ? - the blood is gravy.

            Now that is blasphemy; blood is for black pudding. Stone the heretic!

      2. Andy 97

        Blas-for-you... blas for everybody!

        (c) Edward Izzard.

    2. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

      Oh lay off...

      (suspiciously) Are there any women here today?

  12. Tom 7

    Gift cards are valid for 12 months.

    Which is coincidentally they amount of time before any self respecting bacteria will wait before mutating into something that can eat a Greggs.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    oh sure, this is fine.

    but feature a few hijabis in a christmas ad and all hell breaks loose.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Not half as much trouble as there would have been if they'd been shown tucking into a nice pork sausage roll, or greasing their gun cartridges with lard....

      BTW, for the thin-skinned and poorly educated, that last bit is a historical reference.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        greasing their gun cartridges with lard

        Never heard it called that before...

    2. Mage Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Tesco ad with Muslims

      Not a problem per-se, as 99.99% of Christmas is secular.

      Tescos mistake is that they don't offer ANY halal whole turkeys, thus it's false advertising.

      1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: Tesco ad with Muslims

        Not a problem per-se, as 99.99% of Christmas is secular.

        But what if you're allergic to secular? ;-)

        Christmas – the festival of the winter (or summer for those downunder) solstice lends – itself conveniently to all kinds of interpretation but best of all, and in my best Frank Gallagher impersonation, it's a great excuse for a party!

  14. tiggity Silver badge

    "The calendar is worth between £35-£60"

    That might be what the vouchers equate to in terms of cost of Greggs Items.

    IMHO its worth very little

    Disclosure: I'm not a veggie / vegan, I eat meat, just not convinced Greggs sausage roll I once tried tasted much of meat (didn't taste of anything much at all really) and have no desire to repeat a Greggs "taste experience"

  15. Admiral Grace Hopper
    Pint

    "All from one magical animal"

    A very dear friend bought this Pork Scratching Advent Calendar for me. I am a very lucky girl indeed.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "All from one magical animal"

      I had to check the link, I thought it might have been something racy and irreverent.

      1. Admiral Grace Hopper

        Re: "All from one magical animal"

        I had to check the link

        It's as racy as I get these days.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A sausage roll is for life, not just for Christmas!

  17. Pen-y-gors

    Please can we end this discussion now?

    I'm getting really, really hungry and wanting a greasy sos roll - and the nearest purveyor is ten miles away (not Greggs)

  18. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Pint

    Sausage Roll Correspondent

    Another review by Kat Hall, The Register's Sausage Roll Correspondent

    https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/08/08/footlong_sausage_roll_just_1_pound/

  19. Alistair
    Windows

    for us northern left pondians,

    I'll just note that we have this:

    http://craftbeerimports.ca/beer-advent#

    And I'm kinda picky about my sausage rolls. Sadly, the only commercial one I ever connected with left (to my knowledge) this mortal plane about 25 years ago. Shop lasted another 12 years or so but the youngster just didn't have the touch his Nana did. And she could make to die for veal and lasagna to boot.

    Happy hakwchristice

  20. hatti

    He's not the messiah

    He's a very naughty boy with a sausage roll.

  21. Simon Harris

    There's a dairy based version for vegetarians

    The December 24th centre-piece will feature baby cheesus.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: There's a dairy based version for vegetarians

      But cheese should never be Chewy!

      (This one falls under the "if you have to explain it ... " rules.)

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