back to article Dildon'ts of Bluetooth: Pen test boffins sniff out Berlin's smart butt plugs

Security researchers have figured out how to locate and exploit smart adult toys. Various shenanigans are possible because of the easy discoverability and exploitability of internet-connected butt plugs and the like running Bluetooth's baby brother, Bluetooth Low Energy (BLE), a wireless personal area network technology. The …

  1. wallaby

    Whale Oil Beef Hooked

    1. wallaby

      "Whale Oil Beef Hooked".......

      Hmmmm........... actually..... is giving a thumbs up to this a bit too double entendre?????

    2. Alistair
      Joke

      "Whale Oil Beef Hooked"

      I don't think you can set your bluetooth pin to be that either.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    OMG

    I'm so going to do a floor-walk of all our offices broadcasting the Vibrate:5 command to see who twitches.

    1. tiggity Silver badge

      Re: OMG

      Is there any (sound) seepage from these plugs? (After all the "base" will not be inside if you want to easily get it out): Might be able to hear them, not just look for reaction.

      .. for all you know, they could be in (unoticed) use already in your office and you won't be able to pair

    2. Mark 85

      Re: OMG

      Do report back as I was thinking the same thing being in a call center staffed with several hundred women.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: OMG

      Meh, just look out for those who no longer stir their coffee.

      :)

  3. wolfetone Silver badge
    Trollface

    This wouldn't happen with my diesel powered vibrator. No sir, no electrics needed. Just pure, good ol' fashioned MECHANICAL ENGINEERING BOY!!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Direct injection, or common rail?

      1. wolfetone Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Good ol' fashioned indirect injection, for added agricultural movement.

        1. Scroticus Canis
          Trollface

          Good ol' fashioned indirect injection, for added agricultural movement.

          Now your just shit stirring.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      That's why my steam powered Gentlemen's Product from Mr Brunel doesn't have one of those new fangled Babbage engines in it

      1. AceRimmer1980
        Coat

        So that's how the Analytical Engine was named.

    3. Trigonoceps occipitalis

      All together now,

      "An engineer told me before he died,

      He knew a girl ... "

  4. Tigra 07
    Gimp

    What are they gonna do?

    Create a buttnet and fuck us all over?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What are they gonna do?

      Create a buttnet

      LOL, I saw what you did there :)

  5. Stoneshop
    FAIL

    UI (for Usual Interface)

    "The challenge is the lack of a UI to enter a classic Bluetooth pairing PIN. Where do you put a UI on a butt plug, after all?"

    What happened to "Press this button to start pairing mode", which times out after a couple of minutes?

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: UI (for Usual Interface)

      Or, indeed, as these things need to be charged presumably by a cable (I don't fancy it sharing an inductive charging pad with anything else), what about pairing by cable? I mean, Apple do it with their newer keyboards and trackpads.

      1. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?

        Re: UI (for Usual Interface)

        <quote>(I don't fancy it sharing an inductive charging pad with anything else)</quote>

        Just leave it on the chair and sit on it, surely?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: UI (for Usual Interface)

          All these non-display devices seem to use 1234 or 0000 - what's wrong with creating a random PIN and stamping it on the product?

    2. Tikimon
      Trollface

      Re: UI (for Usual Interface)

      You don't need a UI for sex toys! So how do you control them? GESTURES OF COURSE.

      Okay, run with that one, it's a fertile field for merriment!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: UI (for Usual Interface)

      UI on a butt plug? Well, it's got a simple point-and-stick interface.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    WTF do a buttplug need bluetooth for?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Vibrate along to the tunes on your phone?

    2. Tigra 07

      RE: AC

      Sharing files? Controlling your smartwatch while out and about? The possibilities are double-ended endless!

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Sharing files?

        Up

        Someone's

        Bum

        Stick.

    3. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?
      Headmaster

      <quote>WTF do a buttplug need bluetooth for?</quote>

      The same reason people need grammar - it's not entirely necessary for general operation, but it improves the experience for all concerned.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: The same reason people need grammar

        Ok, Ok.

        Jeesh!

        No need to get anal about it.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Trust me, they're bloody good fun. Staring across the local restaurant table at your beloved missus and then firing it off from your phone at least expected moments, certainly brings a smile to her face!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Staring across the local restaurant table at your beloved missus and then firing it off from your phone at least expected moments, certainly brings a smile to her face!

        I'd be careful closer by. You don't want people to clench their jaws at the wrong moment.

        :)

    5. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      WTF do a buttplug need bluetooth for?

      Quite...for what use it is, you might as well shove it up your a**e

    6. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Stop

    Something's wrong!

    What's happened to El Reg? Have their normal staff been kidnapped?

    This article mentions "penetration testing" and "master/slave" relationships - and there's not a singlepun, snigger or innuendo!

    This must mean that terrorists have broken into the Register offices and are holding them hostage. Leaving this as their only way to ask for help, due to everything they type being watched.

    1. SVV

      Re: Something's wrong!

      I think they were in there quite deliberately; disgraceful how people can sink into such low forms of innuendo and sniggering on a Friday afternoon....

      "A hacker "could drive the Hush's motor to full speed, and as long as the attacker remains connected over BLE and not the victim, there is no way they can stop the vibrations."

      I think "the victim" can stup the vibrations affecting them by becoming disconnected from the device in a more direct physical way, should they so wish, although as they would have to be "connected" in the first place, why would they wish to? This gratuitous, puerile non story has gaping holes in it.

    2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: Something's wrong!

      What's happened to El Reg? Have their normal staff been kidnapped?

      This article mentions "penetration testing" and "master/slave" relationships - and there's not a singlepun, snigger or innuendo!

      Sounds like some sort of cock-up...I expect the powers that be will come down hard on whoever is responsible

  8. chivo243 Silver badge
    Coat

    Longing for the good old days

    When a real woman kick started her vibrator...

    Yes, my coat with a Harley Davidson sales brochure in the pocket

    1. Alistair
      Joke

      Re: Longing for the good old days

      "When a real woman kick started her vibrator..."

      <*cough* -- might be a tad soonish>

      Apparently the Hef no longer responds to kickstarts.....

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ...a number of...

    How many of these things are.. erm... installed?

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: ...a number of...

      How many of these things are.. erm... installed?

      Normally one per. YMMV.

    2. Mark 85
      Coat

      Re: ...a number of...

      Sort of like two people on a Harley? One in the front, one in the back?

  10. TRT Silver badge

    Woah! Is it just me...

    or do other people find it disconcerting to comment on a story about butt plugs, only to find their comments marked for example "2 thumbs up"

  11. Nolveys

    I wonder how long it will take the vendor to plug this hole.

  12. inmypjs Silver badge

    "Having an adult toy unexpectedly...

    start vibrating could cause a great deal of embarrassment in some situations."

    How hard is it to not wear your buttplug at work?

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: "Having an adult toy unexpectedly...

      Perhaps the question is how hard is it when you do wear your butt plug at work?

      Coat, why yes. The long dirty raincoat please.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Where do you put a UI on a butt plug, after all?"

    I thought they were mostly UI to begin with?

  14. BebopWeBop
    Paris Hilton

    Thumbs up to Pen Test for "screwdriving" ---> selected for the question mark - REALLY

    1. TRT Silver badge

      And if the devices were sound activated, you could go sonic screwdriving.

      Someone call The Doctor!

  15. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    Just what the world needs

    More arseholes on the net.

  16. AceRimmer1980

    Re: Innuendo

    Must be an Italian product.

  17. Charles Smith

    In court

    I can visualise the court case where the prosecuting barrister is demonstrating the hackers control device. "Members of the jury, allow me to demonstrate how the accused activated the device by pressing this button. My Lord are you all right? You look as though you're in some pain."

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I suspect you could do the same with fitbits but.

    A. It's not near as interesting.

    B. All you have to do is ask a fitbit user they will tell you everything. In boring detail.

  19. Tikimon
    Devil

    New date finder!

    Hey, is this a great way to find dates or what? Any owner of such a device is by definition horny, sexually adventurous, and likes to bring electricity into the bedroom. Match signals to singles (or attached and not getting enough) and you have a short list of dating prospects with a better than normal chance of getting laid.

    Technically anyway. In reality, that would be unimaginably creepy.

  20. John H Woods Silver badge

    just read article to wife ...

    ... and explained how the passive reconnaissance is performed. She's still trying to get over the fact that you can dectect buttplugs with a "sniffer"

  21. ma1010
    Happy

    True story

    "Having an adult toy unexpectedly start vibrating could cause a great deal of embarrassment in some situations."

    Definitely true as I know one of the cops who was there.

    A couple came home and heard thumping noises coming from inside their apartment where nobody should be. Wisely, they called the sheriff's department and reported an apparent burglary in progress. Deputies arrived and checked the apartment out, looking for a possible burglar. They located the source of the sound which was coming from a bedroom drawer containing a large dildo running on full vibrate.

    One of the cops pointed out the source of the noise to the residents and told them "We found your burglar. We turned him off."

  22. Nifty Silver badge

    "personal area network technology", yup right there on line 3. That was deliberate, right?

  23. Warm Braw

    These toys can be located fairly accurately using triangulation

    Perhaps it's just me, but I'm now trying to erase a very unsavoury mental image involving a Toblerone.

    1. Truckle The Uncivil

      Re: These toys can be located fairly accurately using triangulation

      @Warm Braw

      "Ribbed for your pleasure" ?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re. Pen test

    I did wonder why they don't simply incorporate a magnetic sensor (even a $0.09 reed switch) and have that be the mode switch etc as well as enabling charging in the base station.

    Something like a set of beads where the main unit is the vibrator, and the smaller beads are the magnet and an additional smaller motor.

    Also worth adding: flesh tuned LED so the unit can be strobed and/or be used as a position indicator.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Network security

    Same Sh1t different day...

  26. Hank Waggenburger III
  27. Stevie

    Bah!

    Arse!

  28. Mark Solaris

    I'd totally be up the that HR interview if some co-worker complained you were randomly triggering her sex toy during the work day.

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