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  1. Dan McIntyre

    Oh those poor police officers, forced to expose themselves to that conduct. You can see why the investigation was protracted - clearly they needed time for counselling...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Who knows, perhaps the officers involved in the investigation were all 100% gay men (or 100% straight women) who derived zero pleasure from the task.

    2. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Trollface

      Yes, let us salute these courageous officers who put their very lives on the line for months in order to quash this grievous menace to the continuation of our civilization itself. They bravely put aside terrorist investigations, white-collar crime costing billions and street thugs maiming and killing indiscriminately in order to ensure that puritanism lives on. Well done !

      1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
        Happy

        Body cameras on all officers, of course?

        And the video is public record, yes?

        1. Ian Michael Gumby

          @Anton

          Wishful thinking, but no.

          They were 'undercover'.

  2. wolfetone Silver badge

    Reminds me of the "Hot Coffee" glitch in GTA San Andreas.

    Except you didn't pay her in the game.

    And she did a lot more to you.

    And you never got the coffee.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. wolfetone Silver badge

        I want my Hot Coffee, like she offered in the game!!!!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Were they flicking beans?

    1. Chozo
      Coffee/keyboard

      Thankyou my keyboard needed cleaning

  4. Fading
    Paris Hilton

    Serve and Protect

    I am sure the residents of Everett, Washington will sleep soundly tonight knowing their public servants are willing to go to such lengths to protect them from caffeine related depravity. Though how does the above investigation not fall foul of entrapment laws?

    1. ITS Retired

      Re: Serve and Protect

      Entrapment laws? In this day and age? Surly you jest. We still need to keep the 'For Profit Prisons' full, to extract the proper revenue to keep the owners happy.

  5. Voland's right hand Silver badge

    Spoilsports

    Puritanical spoilsports.

    1. Tom 38

      Re: Spoilsports

      Yep, that's why they were asked to leave Europe in the first place.

  6. NorthernCoder
    Coat

    What was the game called?

    "customers threw wadded cash and baristas caught it in underwear or bikini bottoms."

    Was it a "Dunk 'n Donuts" type of deal?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I am sure the plod had to probe deeply into this...

    It's lucky it wasn't a KFC...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I am sure the plod had to probe deeply into this...

      Depends if you are a thigh or leg person?

      1. Scroticus Canis
        Devil

        Re: Depends if you are a thigh or leg person?

        Prefer something in between, myself :)

        1. mics39
          Gimp

          Re: Depends if you are a thigh or leg person?

          Ah, a cloaca fetish man!

    2. Bernard M. Orwell
      Coat

      Re: I am sure the plod had to probe deeply into this...

      "It's lucky it wasn't a KFC..."

      Because first there are hot thighs and breasts, but all you're left with afterwards is a greasy box to put your bones in.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: I am sure the plod had to probe deeply into this...

        "all you're left with afterwards is a greasy box to put your bones in."
        I think you misspelt boner.

  8. ritey

    Sergeant Robert Goetz....

    performed a very thorough investigation

  9. Nick Ryan Silver badge
    Coat

    I would like to be the first to point out...

    Pictures or it didn't happen.

    /slackers

    1. Vulch

      Re: I would like to be the first to point out...

      Or at the very least a Playmobil re-enactment, been a while since we've had one of those.

      1. S4qFBxkFFg

        Re: I would like to be the first to point out...

        "Or at the very least a Playmobil re-enactment, been a while since we've had one of those."

        So that's why they're advertising for an intern.

    2. chivo243 Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: I would like to be the first to point out...

      @Nick Ryan

      +1

      damn, was in a training session all day... you beat me to it!

      1. Simon Harris
        Mushroom

        Re: I would like to be the first to point out... @ chivo243

        "training session"...

        You were lucky... I've been in a software specification review meeting all day.

        Only this could wake me up now ---------------->

    3. Velv
      Childcatcher

      Re: I would like to be the first to point out...

      In the hope of finding a humorous reply to your comment I googled "naked baristas".

      Top hit was youtube video of said "bikini baristas" in Washington State.

      If you're going to be pedantic and want pictures then I guess you'll just need to screen cap

      1. BebopWeBop

        Re: I would like to be the first to point out...

        But to be fair (and yes I did watch it) they gave a warning first. The comments in the front are worth it (probably not on a work machine)

  10. Cynical Observer
    Coat

    I'm sure that the police behaved in a most upstanding manner at all times.

  11. ma1010
    Coat

    And in other news...

    Drug-related murders continue, police baffled.

    But they were working this more important, high-profile case!

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    This is one of those rare articles on The Register where a picture or two wouldn't have detracted from the text. Quite the opposite, in fact.

  13. Mystic Megabyte
    Stop

    miaow

    Is Grab-N-Go a Trump franchise?

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Re: miaow

      Google internet search "Trump models". Far too many articles to link to, but I have yet to find one saying the girls were locked into a pizza restaurant basement. (The usual story they get to stay in an expensive hotel. Each pays the full rent but dozens share the same room).

    2. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: miaow

      "Is Grab-N-Go a Trump franchise?"
      More likely a Rump franchise.

  14. frank ly

    a $20 “whip cream show”

    Are they sure it wasn't a "whipped cream show"? There's a big difference...... or is there? I can't figure things out anymore. Did the bikini barristers wear those old-fashioned horsehair wigs?

  15. Marty McFly Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Can't find the right icon

    ...you know, the one for "This post is useless without pictures".

  16. kmac499

    Anything they can do..

    Believe it or not there was once a hand car wash staffed by topless young ladies in Coventry.

    yeah I know Coventry unbelievable..

    It was called Bubbles

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Anything they can do..

      "staffed by topless young ladies in Coventry."
      It's in the nature of the place...

      Lady Godiva - Peter & Gordon

      1. Anonymous Custard

        Re: Anything they can do..

        There used to be quite a famous one in Dresden. Some of my Japanese ex-pat colleagues there were rumoured to have the cleanest cars in Germany, to the extent that if they visited any more they'd be down to the bare metal...

      2. The Nazz

        Re: Anything they can do..

        I'll see your Peter & Gordon and raise you :

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VzuVSKbIRQu :

        Written by the late, great Shel Silverstein. One of many.

        Ray Sawyer on a helium mix, lol.

        To add to the equine theme, "Polly In A Porny" is worth three minutes of anyone's time.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: Anything they can do..

          "I'll see your Peter & Gordon and raise you :"

          Back at ya! :-)

          Polly In A Porny

          Edit: missed your reference below....

  17. JJKing
    WTF?

    WOW, a real danger to the community shut down. Vicious criminals beware.

    They need to change the signs on the cop cars to read, To Protect and be Serviced I guess they were 'on the job', while being on the job.

    With all the real crime going on, this is the bet they could do to protect their community. What a joke. I bet the real reason they barista ladies were charged was because they didn't serve real cop food, you know, donuts.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Suricou Raven

        Re: WOW, a real danger to the community shut down. Vicious criminals beware.

        Probably not. I know a bit about that sort of busybody. They usually operate through a local organisation or mailing list. Only one of them has to actually encounter the offensive material. That person then writes up a description of it and sends that out to the group, and the group members in turn use that to get offended second-hand and write up their demands that law enforcement Do Something. So most of the complaints may well be from people who have never had any first-hand experience of the activity are trying to stop.

        The FRC actually has a leaflet on their website advising people on how to get offensive businesses shut down. That's one of the strategies they suggest. They actually advise that people refrain from looking at the material before writing their complaint, as it may be spiritually dangerous.

    2. GrumpyKiwi
      Trollface

      Re: WOW, a real danger to the community shut down. Vicious criminals beware.

      They long ago changed the motto on the side of the LAPD cars to "Obey & Survive".

  18. ukgnome

    You certainly wouldn't get that in Rotherham

  19. Moosh

    I don't understand how they could even begin to charge prostitution when clearly no such offence occured?

    I could imagine indecent exposure as the place was probably not licensed for such a thing and/or the idea that some people might not be expecting it when they go to get coffee. But prostitution?

    1. Suricou Raven

      In the US, the definition of prostitution varies by state. In some of them it is very broad.

  20. Herbert Meyer

    starbucks

    Used to have tits on the mermaid on their logo. The coffee business never recovered.

    1. Simon Harris

      Re: starbucks

      The notion of Starbucks and coffee in the same post is stretching things a bit.

  21. Zippy's Sausage Factory
    Mushroom

    Nobody's answering the important question.

    Was the coffee any good? Was it? Was it? Well, was it?

    I'm not being grouchy. I'm just trying to cut down and have only had one coffee today and I NEED TO KNOW THIS! Aarrgghh!

  22. BeakUpBottom
    WTF?

    This article needs pictures

    Please get it sorted while go grab a .... coffee.

  23. Random Q Hacker

    THIS IS THE WORLD I WANT TO LIVE IN

    Fscking prudes...

  24. hi_robb

    Erm

    Does anyone know exactly where this terrible place is located?

    It's so I can avoid it, honest...

  25. David Roberts
    Coffee/keyboard

    Unless they were very hygenic

    I would think twice about drinking the coffee,

    Especially with whipped cream.

    Come to think of it, did they ever get round to serving coffee?

  26. DanceMan

    Canadian Comment

    Gives the "double double" a whole new meaning.

  27. JamesPond
    Coat

    I first read that as Bikini Barristers

    And wondered why said lawyers were serving coffee.....it's late, I'll get my coat.

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