Stuff the movement of celestial spheres, let's sit down and watch Bonnie Tyler on TV I'm on deadline for two concurrent articles and another client has asked me to rebuild their app with a new welcome screen by tomorrow morning, which is also when I shall be training a classroom of delegates how to use spectrophotometers to create custom-calibrated ICC profiles. So much to do, so little time to prepare. Which …
Normally I agree wholeheartedly with Dabbsy columns, but I also would think of "lost in france" or "It's a heartache" if you asked me to name Bonnie Tyler songs. "Total Eclipse" would be an "oh yeah, that too" song.
Binmen TV - whatever next. Despite spending my life since the 1970's in technology, developments of the past 5 years or so really has started to depress me.
It should be the Bee Gees' Stayin' Alive.
That's the correct beat to do cardiac compressions to, if you ever end up doing CPR. Which is a lot faster than people expect. Advice seems to differ on whether you should bother to stop to breathe for the patient if you're on your own - so if you take the US official advice and don't, you should even have enough breath to be able to sing along...
Not as funny, but also:
"Sledgehammer" by Peter Gabriel.
"When the Lights go Out" by Naked Eyes
"You're my Favorite Waste of Time" by Marshall Crenshaw
Crap from the Past did two entire shows on CPR songs back in 2012. There must be other Boogiemonster fans on El Reg...
From what I remember from my last first aid course:
If you're on your own doing CPR, the priority now is chest compressions as they also force air in & out of the lungs as long as the airway is clear (it's the Airway part of the ABC).
If you've got assistance, they can do the breathing, then you swap places when you're knackered from the compressions. Then keep that up until help arrives or the patient starts to breathe on their own.
I was on the operating table for a particularly, ahem, delicate operation to ensure the family size remained stable.
The staff had thoughtfully put on some very middle-of-the-road music to take my mind of things, which was great right up to the point where Cat Stevens sang "the first cut is the deepest..."
How about watching the fly-on-the-wall "Ambulance" show whilst The Prodigy - Take Me To The Hospital is playing in the background.
Too literal?
"Only a book lets be do less other things at the same time"
You can listen to the radio at the same time ...and also ponder on how the brain time-shares attentioan in bursts between the two media. You do tend to miss the bit of the weather forecast for your area though - unless you live in Scotland or Ireland.
My first thought when they suggested drones to police your BBQ was not that it was a great idea. But that if I was going to do it, they'd enforce a bring a bottle policy. No acceptable booze with you and targetting mode is engaged. "You have 20 seconds to comply".
If it detects Blue Nunn or Lambrusco, then no warning will be given before opening fire. I'm not having checmical warfare at my house.
Then my psyche shows how low it's willing to go, by planning the mode that enforces laughter at my jokes with the threat of fiery death from the sky.
Does this make me a bad person?
"Willy doodles would probably be illegal these days."
Only if they look like the owner is under-18 - and not a smoothie.
I have several Wicked Willie mugs - mostly of start signs. One of these days the neighbours' children - when retrieving their football from the garden when I am having elevenses - are going to ask what the Janus-style character is on the Gemini one.
"[...] and spunking willies?"
One of my classmates in the 1960s was quite good at drawing - he eventually had a career as an Art teacher.
Our boys-only secondary school had a teaching staff of only men - until the day a new junior French teacher arrived. A rather attractive lady - très petite. Instantly nicknamed "Fifi".
The classmate produced one of those "flick" paper-block cartoons that you animate with the edge of your thumb. You get several seconds of action. It was quite popular in the school - featuring the French teacher déshabillé with a copious climax from the suggested viewer.
Inevitably the headmaster found out about it and a summons was issued. What happened is not recorded - and it seems churlish to raise the subject with anyone who might know. Many old people apparently get convenient amnesia about their youthful indiscretions.
The French approach to music is quite unique in the world. I remember being trapped in a Paris disco in 1975 or something - trapped by a large group of young female US exchange students otherwise I would have killed someone to get out - and the music was just fucking* awful. What made it really bad was there would be a roaring guitar intro that would drop into a plinky plonky song with vogon poetry for lyrics. I didnt have enough money to drink myself deaf - I did try even at around £3 for a demi of shit french lager.
*no fucking fucking fucking awful.
Nah. The big fat orange idiot in chief will be forgotten about in half a generation, other than as an object of derision or perhaps a cuss word. Disco, unfortunately, has been digitized and will be with us until the head death of the universe ...
This post has been deleted by its author
"Look, whatever, just let me get back to my box set." - you have a set of boxes? What are you a cat with kittens? Oh a boxed set of DVDs or BluRays you meant? Well why didn't you say so?!
(mutters about the youngsters today buggering the language...) <grin> Mines the one with the wooly hat and the OAP bus pass in the pocket.
I've been non-watching a lot of Brit and Scandinavian cop shows on Netflix lately. That means, I hear the audio but am off doing something else at the same time. I rarely have to go back to pick up a thread. Note to TV producers: if you can't make the visuals compelling, just give the actors distinctive voices so we can keep track.
Cramming a story into 42 minutes is tough. I get that, so all the blather is required. Ever notice that when two cops drive to a crime scene, one waits until they are out of the car at the scene to fill in the other cop about the people/place involved? On the way to the scene they must have been listening to old episodes of Gang Busters on MP3.
The Register 
Biting the hand that feeds IT
Copyright. All rights reserved © 1998–2024
