back to article Huge flying arse makes successful test flight

The "giant flying bum" Airlander 10 airship has successfully flown for the first time since it nosedived into the ground last summer. The airship crashed in August 2016 because its mooring lines caught on power cables, the Air Accidents Investigation Branch concluded. The resulting nosedive injured nobody but crushed the …

  1. dave 93

    'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

    Saturn V rocket weighed around 3000 tons, and was 110m long.

    Airlander 10 is 20 tons, and 90m long.

    1. tony72

      Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

      Maybe they mean "at the moment", as in currently operational?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

      Worlds largest flying arse craft?

      1. Albert Hall
        Alert

        Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

        Well, this is clearly going to be the butt of many jokes.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

      1. Flying, present progressive tense. Saturn V last flew in 1973.

      2. Along the x-axis, Saturn V was only 10m

    4. Ragarath

      Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

      Does a rocket designed to go up count as flying? Would flying not constitude horizontal as well as vertical flight?

      Can't be arsed to look it up but frokm memory the Saturn V did not have any aerofoils that would keep it aloft for long if you pointed it parallel to the Earth.

      If I throw I rock through the air is it flying, or falling with style?

      1. Stevie

        Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

        Does a balloon taking advantage of the natural lift of the gas count as flying?

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

          What about the ISS? Does orbiting the Earth count as flying, or is it just continually falling and missing?

          1. PNGuinn
            Coat

            Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not... @Loyal Commentard

            I thought the very definition of flying was to throw yourself at the ground and miss?

            Yess, it's the on with the appropriate guide in the pocketses.

      2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

        "Does a rocket designed to go up count as flying? Would flying not constitude horizontal as well as vertical flight?"

        Oddly enough, in order to go to space (and stay there) you'll have to move sideways, fast.

        However, I don't think the Up Goer Five qualifies in this context.

      3. herman

        Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

        "Would flying not constitude horizontal as well as vertical flight?" - The art of flying is to throw yourself deliberately at the earth and miss.

    5. Mage Silver badge

      Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

      Saturn V flies in the sense that concrete block sitting on explosives fly. It's not a heavier than air or lighter than air, aircraft.

      1. Rich 11

        Re: 'world's largest flying craft' - I think not...

        in the sense that concrete block sitting on explosives fly.

        Ah, Project Orion!

  2. Dr. E. Amweaver
    Big Brother

    When I first saw the headline...

    ...could have sworn it was a story about Trump on AirForce 1. Still think he should get one though. It suits him.

    1. Ralph the Wonder Llama
      Meh

      Re: When I first saw the headline...

      ...and when I read this:

      "most of this is taken up by gasbags rather than payload space"

      I thought much the same.

    2. TheVogon

      Re: When I first saw the headline...

      I was thinking of Eric Pickles:

      http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/eric-pickles-treated-like-emperor-4968462

    3. Trump rulz

      Re: When I first saw the headline...

      Come now - a story about The Donald with "success" in the headline?

  3. Chris G

    So, the air bag

    Is to protect it when it bottoms out?

    1. Gergmchairy

      Re: So, the air bag

      Protection from skidmarks ?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "auxiliary landing system"

    I thought that was parachutes.

  5. Stuart Halliday

    So, this airbag has an airbag.

    Go on, you know you want a third...

  6. TRT Silver badge

    I'm glad...

    they put some extra airbags on there. I wouldn't want my cockpit crushed again after an unexpected cable collision incident.

    1. PNGuinn
      Holmes

      Re: I'm glad...

      " I wouldn't want my cockpit crushed again ..."

      Wouldn't it have been easier to stuff the cockpit further up the crack?

  7. Alister

    B.A.L.S

    Bulgarian Auxiliary Landing System.

  8. Bit Brain

    Would have been nice if you'd included some pics of said test flight.

    I managed to get a few shots as it passed our house in Bedford.

    http://i.imgur.com/xscAj7f.jpg

    http://i.imgur.com/vNHjSiB.jpg

    http://i.imgur.com/7pHaFbu.jpg

    http://i.imgur.com/QItUkCA.jpg

    1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

      One of the few positive things about growing up in Bedford in the '80s was the fact that we used to get buzzed by the Skyship 500 flying our of Cardington (made famous as Max Zorin's airship in View to a Kill). I say buzzed, because you could always hear it quite a long time before you could see it.

      1. Bit Brain

        I grew up a few miles from Farnborough. When I was little our house had a flat roof and we used to sit on the roof and watch the displays from the air show flying over. The Red Arrows used to fly directly over our house, as did Concorde.

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          @Bit Brain

          I now live in Bristol, I was fortunate enough to see Concorde make it's last flight over North Bristol, landing at Filton Airfield, now sadly a housing development.

      2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        This one is buzzing around our neigbourhood. Not at all unpleasant, in fact kind of soothing.

        Not a proper airship, though.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "Not a proper airship, though."

          That is correct. It's not even a proper British eccentric flying whatsit. If it were a TRUE UK Hybrid Air Vehicle the whole thing would be painted with the Union Jack, and the cabin section would be a fully functioning hovercraft, which would jettison whilst coming in for a landing, God Save The Queen BLARING out of the externally facing sound system, and finally sending the crew crashing about the cabin (think stewardess covered in tea and bits of scone) and then everyone would say "it could be worse. Yes, during the war we just had single buttocked flying ass-ships and no James Bond Hovercraft Detachable Cabin or scones without rat in them. Yes."

      3. druck Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Saw it flying over Cardington from St Neots train station (~11.5 miles) yesterday.

        They don't call it Flatfordshire around here for nothing.

        1. BlinkenLights

          I first saw it from around Caxton Gibbet on the way back from Cambridge. Close to Bedford it looked absolutely huge, dominating the empty blue sky - very impressive.

          1. Paul Cooper

            Things that look like bums seem to be common around here! My daughter always refers to this as the Bum Tunnel: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7e/Weston_Hills_Tunnel_2007-09-23.jpg

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Are you sure that's the Huge Flying Arse? In this photo it looks more like its sibling craft, the Gigantic Floating Bosom.

  9. Susan Vash
    Trollface

    Gasbags

    "The Airlander may have a stake in the "largest aircraft by internal volume" charts, though most of this is taken up by gasbags rather than payload space."

    Full of politicians then ?

    1. annodomini2
      Pint

      Re: Gasbags

      Git you beat me to it!

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: Gasbags

        "Git you beat me to it!"
        No I didn't! Susan Vash beat us both to it!

    2. Pedigree-Pete
      Pint

      Re: Gasbags

      @Susan. I don't think it's considered Trolling if you bait politicians around these parts. New icon required. PP

      >>'cos it's Friday Eve

    3. Tikimon
      Devil

      Re: Gasbags

      "Full of politicians then ?" No, they're only used to fill the gasbags aboard ship. The apparatchiks stay on the ground.

      Airlander thus have failed to solve a problem of the old airships, that of needing special facilities at ports of call. One can't simply throw a group of politicians in a room, they'll cause all manner of mischief. They would need specialized containment systems at each port of call, probably expensive.

      1. CentralCoasty

        Re: Gasbags

        But we have lots of councils and they are all wanna-be politicians.... so plenty of filling stations if it started loosing it's gas......

  10. Atomic Duetto
    Coat

    So it's a Barge Arse freighter then...

    I'll get my coat (for the Aussies in the room)

    1. Rich 11

      Re: So it's a Barge Arse freighter then...

      I thought it was a heavily-bleached Kardashian.

  11. Stevie

    Bah!

    Auxiliary Landing System.

    So the flying arse gets piles just before it piles-up?

  12. DasBub
    Thumb Up

    R100 and R101 history

    Have a gander at Nevil Shute's "Slide Rule" for a good read about the R100's development from someone who worked and flew on it.

    1. Daedalus

      Re: R100 and R101 history

      Too right mate. The R100 was a nice piece of engineering while the ill-fated R101 was a Ministry snafu, which crashed because the bureaucrats wanted it bigger, faster, and flying before the kinks had been worked out. When it went down, it took the R100 with it.

  13. ElReg!comments!Pierre

    I'll just leave this here

    http://airships.paulgazis.com/001/FlyingCloud001.htm

  14. Phukov Andigh Bronze badge

    the HMS Callipygean

    Ive already got her name ready.

    sounds all fancy n' stuff too! Aiships need proper names after all, like the liners of old.

    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/callipygian

    1. Tromos
      Joke

      Re: the HMS Callipygean

      But the popular vote will go with 'Arsy McBumface'.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: the HMS Callipygean

        Unfortunately true. The "[X]y Mc[X]face" thing was funny the first two or three times- long before Boaty McBoatface came along- but nowadays it's all a bit too much people who heard it on 5 Live or The One Show and still think it shows how "hilarious" they are.

        1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

          Re: the HMS Callipygean

          "The "[X]y Mc[X]face" thing was funny the first two or three times- long before Boaty McBoatface came along"

          Undoubtedly so, but would you spare a thought for foreigners like myself? I had not encountered this gag/meme/whatever before McBoatface and would probably have missed it entirely.

  15. Stoneshop
    Coat

    If there was

    a certain small bird flying underneath it would that be an arse over tit condition?

  16. Daedalus

    What is this for?

    OK it carries 10 tonnes. If you want to go from London to Glasgow, you send it by rail or lorry. If you want it to go overseas, you send it by ship or Chunnel.

    Where are the places that you want to send 10t that you can't send by other means? And also where you don't have to worry about being shot at (an occupational hazard when flying a blimp over 'Merka, let alone a war zone). Delivering supplies in the Himalayas? Note that bad weather is also a hazard for these craft.

    All filled up and nowhere to go?

    1. Stoneshop

      Re: What is this for?

      Where are the places that you want to send 10t that you can't send by other means?

      Try getting something voluminous from a landlocked industrial estate to an oil platform. Or irrigation equipment to a remote location, barely accessible by road (and if it's accessible at all, it'll take several days). Relief supplies to disaster areas. Actions not so time-critical that you need planes or helicopters (as applicable) or being outside their capabilities.

      1. Daedalus

        Re: What is this for?

        I'm sure that the developers of this craft are salivating over the prospect of donating it to Oxfam.

  17. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    Joke

    K̶e̶e̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶U̶p̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶K̶a̶r̶d̶a̶s̶h̶i̶a̶n̶s̶

    Keep Up with the Kardiashian

  18. DontFeedTheTrolls
    Headmaster

    A380 Most Passengers on an Aircraft

    I think the 747 has that one:

    Guinness World Records - Most Passengers on an Aircraft

  19. Kernel

    Just because Britain failed

    "this is a dream that a significant number of people throughout the 20th century tried and failed to achieve."

    The German airline, DELAG, carried over 14,000 passengers on 1500 flights between 1910 and 1914, plus quite a few more after WW1 - this was not exactly a failure when you look at other commercial air transport solutions of the day, especially considering that air travel would not be the first option to spring to mind when planning that overseas holiday back then.

  20. LaeMing

    Well I like it,

    And I cannot lie!

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