back to article Manchester pulls £750 public crucifixion offer

Senior clergy in Manchester, England, have cited health and safety and blasphemy concerns after nixing a plan to fill a funding gap for the city’s Easter Passion play by offering members of the public the chance to be crucified. Organisers of the annual Manchester Passion were apparently looking for innovative ways to cover …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well that's a shame, something I'm sure most of us have always wanted to do is now unavailable to us.

    1. Warm Braw

      now unavailable

      I'd be surprised if there were not other locations in Manchester where similar experiences are available all year round. I don't think the issue of blasphemy arises if you make it clear you're not the Messiah, but just a very naughty boy...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I'm sure most of us have always wanted to do"

      I, for one, have never had a desire to act out scenes as your imaginary friend.

      If I was going to pay to be a character from a book it would be Harry Potter or Gandalf from LOTR. Or if it had to be from very old fiction I'd want to be someone cool, like Noah and get a free boat...

      1. Ralph Online
        WTF?

        If you want to act out being Noah...

        Take a trip to Kentucky in the Summer!!!

        http://edition.cnn.com/2016/07/07/us/noahs-ark-kentucky/

        Bizarre!

  2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    Ridiculous

    There's nothing blasphemous about this at all, and if I'm wrong for thinking that then may God strike me dow.....

    .

    .

    .

    [NO CARRIER]

    1. AMBxx Silver badge

      Re: Ridiculous

      Surely easy solution would have been to use 3 crosses. Those that pay can use left or right, not the middle.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ridiculous

        >Surely easy solution would have been to use 3 crosses.

        >Those that pay can use left or right, not the middle.

        I think to get on those you have to nick the £750 the central character pays.

    2. Steve Evans

      Re: Ridiculous

      "In March 2008, peers voted for the laws to be abandoned. On May 8, 2008, the Criminal Justice and Immigration Act 2008 abolished the common-law offences of blasphemy and blasphemous libel in England and Wales, with effect from 8 July 2008."

      So scratch the blasphemy angle... This is all down to 'elf and safety, oh, and political correctness.

      Bollocks to the lot of em, who wants nailing? I'll fetch me 'ammer.

      1. nijam Silver badge

        Re: Ridiculous

        Blasphemy is, in effect, the claim that you know better than some self-appointed know-it-all what an imaginary supernatural being wants you to do. Was that ever a sound basis for a law?

        1. Denarius
          Meh

          Re: Ridiculous

          nijam, how old school. This is the 21st century, not 17th. It is disagreeing with established authority. eg, expressing any opinion that contradicts culturally accepted beliefs. So blasphemy can be performed today by expressing an informed disbelief in the foundational doctrines of materialism. The effect is the same on a heretics professional life. Expulsion from the groves of academe, work or professions. Not got to burning at stake yet, but give the snowflakes and soft marxists a few more years of PC and probability will rise. All for good of society and freedom of expression of course. I won't mention which subjects can cause blasphemy because this august publication expresses its dislike of one occasional blasphemy.

  3. wolfetone Silver badge

    I had to pay my local priest £150 for a half hour funeral mass for my Dad, when he had been going to the church for 50 years.

    That's fine, aparently, but charging a fee to see what Jesus did is blasphemous? Fuck off.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'll see your £150 and raise you £11.75 for 3 (THREE) cups of tea served after paying £7500 for a funeral service.

      Robbing bastards. Hell* will have a *special place for people who feed on others grief for purely financial gains.

      *hopefully.

      1. Rich 11

        Hell* will have a *special place for people who feed on others grief for purely financial gains.

        I forget who said it, but when asked if there was one item he could take with him into Hell, what would it be, the answer was, "A blanket, because I won't able to get close enough to the eternal fires of Hell to stay warm, with all those fucking priests in the way."

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "I forget who said it,"

          Your version is good but the version I heard many years ago concerned the curate who was summoned to take the minutes at a conference of bishops in a large, draughty country house. On the third morning he remarked, loudly, that the night before he dreamed he had died and gone to Hell.

          "What was it like?" enquired one of the senior clergy.

          "Same as here, couldn't get near the fire for bishops."

      2. wolfetone Silver badge

        "I'll see your £150 and raise you £11.75 for 3 (THREE) cups of tea served after paying £7500 for a funeral service."

        I'll see you your 3 cups of tea and funeral service, and I'll raise you the priest who wanted £150 for my Dad's funeral retiring about 12 months later, 6 months after this he got married.

        To the organ player of the church he was a priest in.

        Do I win?

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Invisible "friends"

    If one person believes it, they are declared insane, but if thousands believe it, it's a religion...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Invisible "friends"

      Yeah Einstein was a twat, Gallileo was an idiot, all those ancient fools and their belief in God! How much quicker would we have got our iPads if those twats had focussed on stuff and not feelings!!!

      1. Rich 11

        Re: Invisible "friends"

        Einstein said time and again that he only believed in Spinoza's God; in other words, Nature.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Invisible "friends" - "Gallileo was an idiot"

        Galileo [sic] was put under house arrest by the Inquisition precisely because he thought that the study of nature superseded theology. And Aristotle. Not a good example to choose.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Invisible "friends"

      ..or 'climate change'

    3. Kane
      Coat

      Re: Invisible "friends"

      "If one person believes it, they are declared insane, but if thousands believe it, it's a religion..."

      Only for tax purposes.

      Mines the one with "Xenu Is My Co-Pilot" embroidered on the back....

  5. Josh Cain

    “A chance to wear bathrobes and have an experience you will remember for the rest of your life.”

    FTFY

    1. ratfox

      If they forget to take you down, for the rest of your very short life.

    2. psychonaut

      bring a towel

      in which case they could do a HHGTTG crossover, the chance to play Arthur. on a cross. holy belgium man!

  6. Charlie Clark Silver badge
    Flame

    No nails required

    Nails through the hand were invented for the pictures. They're not really much use for bearing the weight of the body: strong knots around the wrists are required.

    Anyway, what's the point with asking for volunteers? Just go down Westminster and round some of the sinners up. I'm sure health and safety could be convinced to turn a blind eye: all in good cause and all that.

    hm, where's the "I'll get my cross" icon when you need it? Mine's the one with "CCIM" engraved in it. I'll guess I'll just have to go with the "burn in hell one" instead.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: No nails required

      Health and safety is just red tape anyway. Now string up some politicians.

      1. Mr Bussiness

        Re: No nails required

        with the aforementioned red tape no less!

    2. BenDwire Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: No nails required

      Many commentators believe that the nails went through the wrists and feet, otherwise they would be unable to hold up the weight of the body without ripping the hands. All pretty brutal.

      But I'm surprised that people want to experience the barbariasm of that era - aren't people watching the news anymore? It seems to me that the poor folk in Mosul get to see this most days.

      Maybe Ryanair could sink a little lower and offer interested parties an all-inclusive trip for less than £750 ...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No nails required

        I'm not so sure "poor" is the correct term after seeing the HUGE swathes of the local populace turn out to watch a beheading / hanging / throat cutting / drowning / burning to death / lobbed off a tall building / have a bomb placed upon their person / etc etc.

        No, they all seem quite enthused...

        1. sabroni Silver badge

          Re: No, they all seem quite enthused...

          And if you were living there you'd make it clear that you disagreed with them? How long do you think you'd be able to keep that going before you were executed?

    3. jmch Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: No nails required

      "Nails through the hand were invented for the pictures. They're not really much use for bearing the weight of the body"

      In fact the Romans didn't drive the nails through the hands, they did it through the wrists.

      Ugh!

      1. Steve Evans

        Re: No nails required

        All this nails through the hands/wrists business needs to be tested through strict scientific investigation...

        Someone fetch me 10 sets of identical twins, 20 crosses, a bag of 6 inch nails and a big 'ammer.

        1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

          Re: No nails required

          Someone fetch me 10 sets of identical twins…

          Can't be arsed; just take the Cabinet: they're all a bunch equally evil bastards!

        2. Stoneshop
          Coat

          Re: No nails required

          Someone fetch me 10 sets of identical twins, 20 crosses, a bag of 6 inch nails and a big 'ammer.

          Be sure to wear appropriate safety gear, because dropping that hammer on your toes when not wearing S3-class boots is sure to be painful. Also, best to use a nailgun, for repeatability as well as preventing RSI.

          (seen in an Usenet .signature: "When all you have is a nailgun, every problem looks like a messiah."

      2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: No nails required

        In fact the Romans didn't drive the nails through the hands, they did it through the wrists.

        I'm trying to think of how that would work without breaking the bones so badly there's not much purchase left anyway. Maybe to affix the rope to stop people slipping out of it?

        Anyway: crucifixions are still practised in Sudan so how about a quick trip over to see it done for real!

        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

          Re: No nails required

          I'm trying to think of how that would work without breaking the bones so badly there's not much purchase left anyway.

          It's just a matter of practice and the Romans had a lot of practice.

          1. veti Silver badge

            Re: No nails required

            The bible very specifically mentions nails in the hands, not the wrists.

            I think the only way to square this particular circle is to assume that while the weight was born by ropes, the hands may also have been nailed for effect. (The "effect" in question being pain and general gruesomeness.)

            1. Rich 11

              Re: No nails required

              The bible very specifically mentions nails in the hands, not the wrists.

              And the bible is famous for being a reliable account of historical fact.

              1. Bernard M. Orwell

                Re: No nails required

                The "research" is done regularly every year in the Phillipines.

                Warning: This attached video is not for the faint of heart, or those given to sanity.

                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NItfxWdweBQ

              2. veti Silver badge

                Re: No nails required

                Look, if you're going to start arguing that the bible's not true - then fine, but what the heck are you doing even reading a story about an Easter commemoration?

            2. jmch Silver badge
              Trollface

              Re: No nails required

              "The bible very specifically mentions ...."

              I'm sure that makes it true, then!

            3. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: No nails required

              The bible very specifically mentions nails in the hands, not the wrists.

              I think it says χείρ in the bible - e.g. arm & hand assemblage.

              Nails through the wrist bones, or even better, between radius & ulna would support the weight, but why waste time nailing the hands if the wrists are bound?

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: No nails required - It's just a matter of practice and the Romans had a lot of practice.

            Yes, but apart from being a collection of murderous bastards who enjoyed torturing people to death or getting them to fight to the death in the arena, and who have given ideas to a number of subsequent murderous bastards, what have the Romans ever done for us?

        2. Mark 85

          Re: No nails required

          Are they head side up or the head side down? Seems the Romans usually used head down and the head up were for "special" cases.

    4. Denarius

      Re: No nails required

      @Charlie, yes. Skeleton found 20+ years back that Romans had crucified. One nail through ankles (legs crossed) and each wrist. Have a vague feeling some testing was done on this 30 + years ago, reported on BBC (who else) that showed body weight would tear through palm of hand quickly. Aside from that the idea was for victim to stay alive for as long as possible as a warning example. Three days "survival" was not unknown, probably in benign weather. YMMV

  7. LoudWispa
    Happy

    As a daily ready of El Reg, I am quite excited to find a project I am involved with, (I am hosting the website), brilliantly covered.

  8. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
    Happy

    One to a customer, keep moving, please

    Glad to see TLoB image at the top.

    Meanwhile, in Cambridge:

    https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/apr/04/cambridge-homes-covered-with-latin-graffiti-in-protest-of-rising-prices

    "Romanes eunt domus", indeed.

  9. Stuart Halliday

    Blastphamous?

    Like having images of a guy nailed to wood, bleeding is OK?

    Nailing the skin of people to church front doors was OK?

    Burning people alive was OK?

    Saying the Earth isn't flat?

    1. wolfetone Silver badge
      Coat

      "Saying the Earth isn't flat?"

      Selling weapons to Saudi Arabia yet moaning about the National Trust dropping the word "Easter" from some literature - absolutely fine in the eyes of our bless unelected overlord Frau May.

      In keeping with the religious overtones:

      Hail May with grey face,

      Brexit is with thee,

      Blessed are thou amongst idiots,

      And blessed is the fruit of your policies - no benefits for the disabled or children,

      Frau May, personal friend of Dacre,

      Pay for Saudi's weapons now

      And Brexit means Brexit,

      Amen.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Like having images of a guy nailed to wood, bleeding is OK?"

      and those of a man being roasted over a fire - or a woman with an ecstatic look on her face whose flesh is being torn off by red hot pincers. Apparently all essential for the indoctrineducation of children. Yet even possession of something similar is illegal as extreme violent pr0n.

    3. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      I'd say that saying the Earth isn't flat is okay, don't you think?

      1. magickmark

        The earth has to be flat or what else is the Turtle going to do??!!!!

    4. Charlie Clark Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Blastphamous?

      That's a nice neologism: blasting the famous?

  10. kryptonaut
    Unhappy

    Young Ones

    Neil: "Crucifixion's like, a really negative way to kill yourself, man. I've tried it hundreds of times, there's just no way you can hammer in the last nail."

  11. Andytug

    Prior art?

    "Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each....."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Could be worse.....

      At least it gets you out in the open air....

      1. Doogie Howser MD

        Re: Could be worse.....

        Even though it's been cancelled, you should always look on the bright side of life!

  12. TitterYeNot
    Coat

    He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy

    "Alex Steward told the Manchester Evening News that concerns about health and safety were unfounded, as in the Passion’s 50-year history, no one had ever fallen off the cross"

    "It's very simple" he said. "We just use glue. It's called 'No More Nails'..."

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm not sure what the problem is

    It doesn't sound like they were even going to use nails, so it's nothing more than what my local village church does.

    I have seen an Easter reenactment using real nails - apparently it's quite a thing in some countries. The volunteer ends up with real stigmata to demonstrate their religious devotion.

    I guess it's no more stupid that imagining that an omniscient omnipotent imaginary person cares about what songs you sing, but won't intervene until you're dead.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Clerical killjoys

    Next they will be complaining about chocolate eggs - oh wait!

  15. beast666
  16. hplasm
    Coat

    Blasphemous indeed!

    Give Easter back to the Pagans!

  17. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    If I can be Brian the Messiah that be called Brian...

    ...you can all be the crack suicide squad from the Judean People's front.

    You silly sods!!!

    1. Mike Moyle

      Re: If I can be Brian the Messiah that be called Brian...

      That's the PEOPLE's JUDEAN Liberation Front!

      1. hplasm
        Coat

        Re: If I can be Brian the Messiah that be called Brian...

        Splitters!

  18. Zebo-the-Fat

    blasphemy, a victimless crime.

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Happy

      I only said this piece of halibut was good enough for Jehovah!

    2. psychonaut

      "blasphemy, a victimless crime."

      depends where you say it of course....theres no end of religitards wanting to kill people for it in some corners of the globe

  19. Just Enough

    and so's my wife!

    It's a pity. The temptation to shout "I'm Brian!" surely wouldn't have been missed by all.

  20. Korev Silver badge
    Coat

    Cross

    Reverend Canon Falak Sher telling the organisers ... that “To put people in Jesus’ place on the cross and charge them £750 to do it is blasphemous.

    He sounds quite cross...

    1. quxinot
      Coat

      Re: Cross

      ^

      Nailed it.

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: Cross

      "He sounds quite cross"

      You think he's cross? Just wait until the Messiah returns!

      He descends from the heavens, surrounded by heralding angels, the adoring throngs gather, and then:

      "Crucifixes!? You're all wearing crucifixes? Is this some sort of sick joke? I was killed with a freaking crucifix!"

      1. Korev Silver badge
  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Crucifixions a doddle.

    How much to give birth at Christmas in a manger?

    You could even get three kings and a donkey for the authentic experience.

    1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
      Joke

      You could even get three kings and a donkey for the authentic experience

      Are you suggesting we should be inviting foreigners in now! I suppose that if they are packing gold, frankincense and myrrh, have their own transport, they would pass any points-based immigration test, would likely be coming from outside the EU and can take over a local football club when the play's done.

      1. Rich 11

        and can take over a local football club when the play's done.

        OK, so that's the donkey sorted. Now, where are we going to find three kings?

        1. Long John Brass
          Trollface

          Now, where are we going to find three kings?

          Dunno about Kings, But I can tell you where you can find some strapping Queens

          1. Huw D
            Devil

            Never mind Kings and Queens, where the fuck are you going to find a virgin?

            1. nijam Silver badge

              > where the fuck are you going to find a virgin?

              Maybe if you phrased it differently?

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              "Never mind Kings and Queens, where the fuck are you going to find a virgin?"

              Virgin where?

    2. Bernard M. Orwell

      "How much to give birth at Christmas in a manger?"

      Not sure yet. Give the tories a few more years with the NHS and we'll know for sure.

  22. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    Blasphemy?

    “To put people in Jesus’ place on the cross and charge them £750 to do it is blasphemous."

    So, which part should be blasphemous. The crucifixion has been done before Jesus. Many times. This is kind of prior art, so to speak. Maybe it's blasphemous to charge only a mere £750?

    Anyhow, I don't see how blasphemy could even be a thing.

  23. Aladdin Sane

    I see an opportunity

    To get the special project bureau involved. Maybe if we 3D print the cross?

    1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: I see an opportunity

      That's in poor taste, (maybe even blasphemous!)

      The SPB pretty much was Lester, and he is (unfortunately) no longer with us!

      Still a great loss.

  24. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Alternatives

    Would £750 buy you a ticket to the Phillipines? They do that sort of thing there every Good Friday.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Alternatives

      "Would £750 buy you a ticket to the Phillipines?"

      Well Liam Fox on his BREXIT tour of authoritarian regimes is insisting that we have much in common. Perhaps Michael Heseltine should be wary of invitations to share a plane ride with Theresa May.

  25. handleoclast
    IT Angle

    The church is upset...

    ...that other people want to make money out of the crucifiction (spelling is deliberate - it was a fiction). Even worse, they want to make money out of it to give to the poor and needy.

    Let's be clear here. The church is selling afterlife insurance. And it gives a money-back guarantee. If you die and there's no afterlife then all you have to do is ask for your money back and they'll return it.

    Incidentally, for those who want to make Sunday special: stone your priest to death. He gets paid to deliver those church services, so he's working on a Sunday. You know it makes sense.

  26. Richard Scratcher
    Windows

    750 quid!

    It used to be 30 bob.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 750 quid! - It used to be 30 bob.

      Yes, but those were the days when shillings were still worth something. You could buy a field for £1.50, according to the source literature.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! Now, piss off!

  28. Crazy Operations Guy

    Jesus wasn't the only one crucified...

    I find it weird that Christians fetishize the whole "Jesus Crusifiction". The Romans did it to thousands of regular people. Although I find it odd that they care about how he was killed in the first place... I always thought that Jesus was supposed to be some kind of paragon of virtue that his followers were supposed to emulate, not some martyr who wasn't really martyred anyway (coming back to life kinda undoes that a bit...).

    But then it seems that people care a hell of a lot more about being portrayed as oppressed and persecuted rather than being a proper mensch like Jesus was portrayed to be. Any schlub can get themselves killed, but it takes real effort to be a good person.

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Jesus wasn't the only one crucified...

      Wish I could give you an extra thumbs up for the Yiddish....

  29. Dave 15

    What?

    750 is cheap compared to some of the kinky folk on the net (apparently)

    TBH you could give 750 to the homeless rather than 750 - cost of nails and cross, but where would the fun be?

    I really get fed up with the various people who think it is their job to control what I do... unless I am doing someone harm why shouldn't I be nailed up if thats what I want....

    nail them up I say, nail them up

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Choice of parts

    > or a member of the baying crowd

    Welease Bwian!

  31. Ilmarinen
    Happy

    Well I read the thread...

    I don't think the £750 was a good plan - better to select someone on the basis of whoever fellow Christians believe should be in Jesus' place.

    And sod the safety elves.

    And to add a simple engineer's say - I just realized, one Easter, a few years ago: "Fuck me - this bloke died for me" - go figure...

    1. MrDamage Silver badge

      Re: Well I read the thread...

      > "And to add a simple engineer's say - I just realized, one Easter, a few years ago: "Fuck me - this bloke died for me" - go figure..."

      That's why I will never stop sinning. If Jesus died for my sins, I'm going to make sure he gets his money's worth.

  32. ShortLegs

    That bloke who invented Christmas?

    ... he needs nailing up somewhere

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: That bloke who invented Christmas? - ... he needs nailing up somewhere

      According to Wikipedia it was an unknown Roman in about 336AD. So that's a bit unkind. You can probably ultimately blame Constantine, for causing the Roman Empire to incorporate the worship of Jesus into its State religion, and whoever subsequently decided to make the Winter Solstice festival a celebration of his supposed birth date rather than an opportunity for drinking to excess and a little light human sacrifice.

      "Christianity" the religion is almost totally disconnected from a 1st century AD informal rabbi who fell foul of the Temple management.

  33. ShortLegs

    That bloke who invented Christmas?

    ...he needs nailing up somewhere

  34. Toastan Buttar

    Make the price £666

    Rather than £750

  35. Mark 85
    Angel

    Tis a pity

    Perhaps they would have had more luck if one could pay for someone (a boss perhaps?) to be picked up and put on the cross. In the spirit if giving back to management, etc. of course.

  36. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    Ok then, how about a good old stoning!

    ...are there any women here...?

  37. creepy gecko
    Happy

    A Happy (Easter) Bunny

    Only on The Register could I read a discussion about the merits of crucifixion, and the fine details of how to carry out a crucifixion...with added humour...

    El Reg commentards are the best.

  38. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

    "slayed"

    Is not a word. The one you are looking for is "slain".

    Repeat after me: Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word.

    (Mind you, it's getting increasing common that people don't know how to conjugate verbs properly - you see it a lot in self-written books, especially those produced in LeftPondia)

    1. Pedigree-Pete
      Pint

      Re: "slayed"

      I know a few guys who'd disagree with you.

      Noddy Holder, Dave Hill, Jim Lea, Don Powell,

      Similar issues with 'Coz, Crazee, Noize and don't get started on Come. Oh errrr. PP

      ICON> Friday Eve.

    2. DJSpuddyLizard

      Re: "slayed"

      Is not a word. The one you are looking for is "slain".

      Repeat after me: Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word. Slayed is not a word.

      I slain a dragon?

    3. Trilkhai

      Re: "slayed"

      The reason for the common inability to conjugate verbs in the US is partially that 35+ years ago, many public schools opted to stop teaching grammar or spelling rules beyond the absolute basics. The more talented students figured out some of the rules on their own, and everyone has ended up periodically sounding like we're semi-fluent ESL students, particularly with the Web normalizing people's mistakes. *sigh*

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      Re: "slayed"

      "Mind you, it's getting increasing common that people don't know how to conjugate verbs properly"

      English is not Latin and, now we're going to be free of that load of Latin and Gothic derived languages over there ----> we can stop pretending it has Latin-style grammar. That was an affectation of 18th century schoolmasters that stuck when Matthew Arnold set the public school curriculum at Rugby and decided that the most important subjects (coincidentally) were the ones he did at U, viz. Latin and Greek.

      English has been steadily dropping pretensions to conjugations and declensions, and so if what little grammar we have is tending to get regularised (e.g. consistent past tense in -ed such as rained rather than irregular forms like slain and laid) surely that's an improvement? Think of it like Python 3 versus Python 2. Lay --->laid --->layed, so why not slay ---> slayed?

      English is a bastard language made up by people, not a language that acquired an Académie to regulate it.

      1. Mark 85

        Re: "slayed"

        English is a bastard language made up by people, not a language that acquired an Académie to regulate it.

        Should we set up a formal committee like the French have to tell us which words and usage are proper?

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Manc Accent

    Give us keys t'ginnel. Im off up ter precinct ter get me sen nailed t'bastard cross fer Easter an that.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How Much?

    <looking through the change jar /> How much to crucify an orange shit-gibbon?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: How Much?

      £1750 please. Ill need a 7.5 tonner and a forklift plus a rain coat, axe, cocaine and whisky. Plus a collection of classic 80s music.

      1. Jay 2

        Re: How Much?

        Is that you Patrick?

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