back to article Playtime's over: Internet-connected kids toys 'fail miserably' at privacy

The Electronic Privacy Information Center (EPIC) and the European Consumer Organization (BEUC) are calling for US and EU data protection authorities to take action against insecure networked toys. Declaring that "My Friend Cayla," a Bluetooth-enabled doll released in 2014, and "i-Que," a connected robot released last year, " …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Come on Barbie, Let's go Stasi.

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2015/11/29/hello_barbie_controversy_reignited_with_insecurity_claims/

  2. AMBxx Silver badge
    Facepalm

    What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

    Let's be honest, most kids young enough to play with this stuff don't need anything so sophisticated. Just pull a string in the back, it talks, then wets itself - happy child.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

      If you as a parent give your child the choice between this and something HUGE AND FLUFFY, I can tell you in advance what your child will chose (I know what mine chose every time).

      Hint: Miyazaki in Totoro had a point. The bigger, the fluffier, the better. +/- acorns.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

        But Totoro is pretty scary.

        And that Catbus is just NOPE!

    2. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

      What's wrong is that that has been the tech we've had for the past thirty years and it is now obsolete because electronics and social pressure.

      If you do not wish to pass for a bad parent, society dictates that you have to offer your children the latest and greatest in toy tech because if you don't, you're a has-been unworthy of having children.

      It doesn't matter if the toy is less fun, it doesn't matter if the child plays with it for five minutes before moving on to the next toy, it doesn't matter that the toy does not allow their imagination to roam free.

      What matters is that it is the latest tech. That is now the only thing that matters.

    3. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

      Kids don't buy toys, adults buy toys. So, as a toy maker you build toys that adults think kids want.

      Truth is, most kids would rather have the empty box that the toy came in.

      1. Pen-y-gors

        Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

        Even if you want to spout more than a dozen phrases, it doesn't need an internet connection!

        Anyway, simple toys are best. According to my parents my best-ever Xmas pressie (when I was about six?) was a wooden mallet and a 1lb bag of assorted nails! (luckily we lived in the country so it was fenceposts that got nailed, not the imitation-pine-Chippendale)

        (The above could possibly be phrased better - not sure about using 'nailed' and 'Chippendale' in the same sentence)

      2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

        Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

        Kids don't buy toys, adults buy toys.

        Correct, however, it is part of parenting to discuss with your children why exactly Dad is against buying a hideous stick insect blond bimbo with DDD size weapons of mass distraction of sufficient weight to cause a ruptured disk. All of the toys my kids have had since the age of 3 have been chosen by them. The end result is a weird assortment of fluffy stuff enough to fill a room, an occasional doll, half a crate of cars and a gigantic crate of lego bits as well as assorted weapons (the more realistic the better). Not a single one of them electronic or electrified except the gun laser sights.

        Electronic stuff I have bought without asking them first like remote controlled boats, planes, wooden train, etc was used a couple of times and then abandoned (made me learn my lesson - at least one of them is choosing now).

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

        "... most kids would rather have the empty box that the toy came in ..."

        Yes, but they'd have to wait until the cat was bored with it.

      4. Anomalous Croissant

        Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

        Truth is, most kids would rather have the empty box that the toy came in.

        You're confusing cats with children.

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

        Large cardboard boxes are great for under-5s.

        Opening up = a boat

        Opening down with hole cut on one side = house

        Opening down + holes on both sides and a cardboard tube = elephant. (stick the cut -out pieces on as ears)

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

          Large cardboard boxes are great for under-5s.

          True. My four year old's favorite interstellar rocket looks suspiciously like one of our laundry baskets.

          1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

            Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

            True. My four year old's favorite interstellar rocket looks suspiciously like one of our laundry baskets.

            Maybe it's actually an EM Drive?

        2. Jimboom

          Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

          Or in the case of my son if you get one of those boxes with the handle flaps then Opening down, with child inside + nerf gun = tank

    4. heyrick Silver badge

      Just pull a string in the back, it talks, then wets itself - happy child.

      Wait - are we talking about the doll or the child?

    5. Kernel

      Re: What's wrong with just pulling a string and a dozen phrases?

      My three and a half year old grandson prefers electronic toys - not that he has the skills to get it all back together yet, but give him an old fax machine or phone from the local 'tip shop' and a set of screwdrivers and he's happy for hours.

      He can also, upon request, correctly name many of the components as well.

  3. Dan 55 Silver badge
    FAIL

    And he didn't even realise that was the entire problem

    "Upon learning of the consumer advocacy groups' concerns through media, we validated that we have adhered to our policy with respect to the voice data collected through the toys referred to in the complaint"

    Policy stores data outside the EU.

    Policy says it can be changed at any moment.

    Policy says data can be used for advertising.

    Policy says data can be disclosed to unnamed 3rd parties.

    Policy doesn't have any security guarantees.

    So basically he just said, "fuck you".

  4. Chris G
    Childcatcher

    Not surprised

    At either the complete lack of security or the collusion with Wally Dizly.

    Dizly always thinks of the children and how they can exploit their parents through them. My daughter was born in the nineties with a metabolic disease so we were regular visitors to Great Ormond Street Hospital for some years. At that time the Hospital was the benefactor of royalties from Peter Pan, a bequest from J.M.Barrie, as Dizly own the rights to Peter Pan they would rarely allow showings in the UK simply because they didn't get the money that was going to the hospital. I was told this by several staff there, so I don't doubt it.

    Most of their stuff is formulaic crap anyway.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Not surprised

      "At that time the Hospital was the benefactor of royalties from Peter Pan"

      Or at least the beneficiary. It should be in perpetuity as far as the UK is concerned. Jim Callaghan campaigned for an amendment to the copyright act to enable this.

  5. ukgnome
    Black Helicopters

    you mean this James Bond spy kit really works?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not so much James Bond

    but rather Rosa Kleb.

  7. adam payne

    "Mack says Nuance has not received in inquiry from the FTC or other privacy authority. He stresses that the company's policy is that it doesn't use or sell voice data for marketing purposes and that it doesn't share voice data collected from one customer with another."

    So if you don't use it or sell it for marketing purposes then why do you have it in the first place?

    What do you actually do with all the data you have collected?

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      It is not entirely clear to me how Nuance is involved, aren't they just doing speech processing and generation?

      I suppose the audio stream goes out over the Internet (unencrypted?) to Nuance's servers, is processed according to customer demands, then another audio stream goes back into the creepy puppet?

  8. Doctor_Wibble
    Terminator

    I always do what Teddy says.

    Except instead of creating an assassin we create an army of drones, 'buy this toy' 'rent that move' 'nag and wail harder next time'.

    [ ref: insightful short story by Harry Harrison ]

  9. Eddy Ito

    Hmm, an earlier story gives me an idea. Collect a bunch of these toys and set them in a sound proof room with nothing but 16-18 hours each day of Adam Sandler movies playing for it to listen to. One could fill the intervening "nighttime" hours with a varied selection of animal sounds, a springbok being taken down by hyenas or wolves gorging on a downed whitetail for instance. Let the spys fill their HDDs with that.

    1. Doctor_Wibble
      Trollface

      Who cares about the spies?

      Re-package the toys and put them back on the shelves with their newly-upgraded vocabulary. Better yet, add in some Samuel L Jackson films and maybe the entire Father Ted set for ecumenical balance.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Who cares about the spies?

        Feed them Roger Mellie's Profanisaurus through a text-to-speech engine set to Darth Vader THEN put them back on the shelves.

  10. Tikimon
    Devil

    "Nuance takes data privacy seriously,"

    OKay, but in what way? As in "we put serious effort into protecting privacy"? Or as in "we see privacy as a serious drain on our profits and creates serious delays getting to market."

    Yah, I know, it's obvious.

  11. David Roberts
    Alien

    A few simple phrases over the Internet?

    It's cold outside; I'm hungry; I need a hug; please unlock the door.

  12. David Gosnell

    They should have partnered with someone more experienced ...

    .... like VTech maybe. Oh, yeah, right. Next?!

  13. Trigonoceps occipitalis

    Genesis Toys, ...

    ... , was not immediately reachable for comment.

    See, they do take our concerns seriously.

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