back to article Drama in orbit: Brazen UFO attacks Earth's Sentinel-1A satellite

The European Space Agency's Sentinel-1A satellite has been hit by an unidentified flying object while in orbit. Panic not: the probe remains fully operational. At 1707 GMT on August 23, the satellite's ground controllers noted that the bird changed its orientation and orbit slightly, and there was a small loss of power …

  1. Youngone Silver badge

    As you all know

    I only come here for the headlines.

    Also, if it was some leftover bit of scrap from the formation of the solar system, can a more religious person have a quiet word with one of your gods and get him to clean the place up a bit?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As you all know

      clean the place up a bit?

      No! $DEITY likes it this way.

      Next target: Bulldogs being promenaded in New York.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As you all know

      Everything was just as it should have been until one man's free will resulted in putting an artificial satellite in it's way. It all started with that snake tricking Eve into eating from the tree of knowledge - the whole universe has been in chaos ever since !! :-)

  2. Christoph

    I wonder how much extra debris was created by the impact?

    1. Oengus
      Joke

      UFO Sex

      This is how UFOs reproduce...

    2. Filboid Studge

      Try not to think about the ping pong balls and mousetraps...

      1. Yesnomaybe

        Only a matter of time for the avalanche-effect to get triggered. I was expecting it when the Chinese blew up their own satellite, but we were lucky there. So far, anyway...

  3. james 68
    Black Helicopters

    Hmm

    How long before they blame it on a drone?

  4. ecofeco Silver badge

    Don't touch my junk!

    It was only a matter of time before the orbiting junk yard trashed something.

  5. Richie 1

    Is Sandra Bullock OK?

    The documentary she made about space junk was terrifying.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is Sandra Bullock OK?

      Being the selfless individual that I am, I volunteer to check her out.

    2. Tony Haines

      Re: Is Sandra Bullock OK?

      It's a good job she wasn't on board, or it would have been a total write-off.

  6. Mark 85

    Just a minor fender bender...

    A bit of paint, a bit of body putty and it'll be fine. It's the towing bill back to the shop that will be a bit pricey.

    1. hypernovasoftware

      Re: Just a minor fender bender...

      Yeah, that will buff right out; no problem.

  7. Blank-Reg
    Holmes

    The Westford needles, aha, strike again...

  8. MrKrotos

    Meh, tis but a scratch, it's just a flesh wound!

    Bit of T-Cut will get that out!

  9. Simon Harris
    Mushroom

    "just one of the many pieces of debris left over from the formation of the Solar System"

    See, it's natural to leave crap just floating around.

    Off to tell SWMBO that it goes against nature to tidy things up - wish me luck!

    Expected response ----------------------------------------------------->

    1. gypsythief

      Re: "just one of the many pieces of debris left over from the formation of the Solar System"

      Don't worry, the universe has your back:

      "all spontaneous systems tend in the direction of increasing entropy"

      As tidying up therefore clearly violates the Second Law*, it'd best not be done.

      *NB: that's the Second Law of Thermodynamics, not this one: "A man must obey orders given it by its SWMBO except where such orders would conflict with the First Law",

    2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: "just one of the many pieces of debris left over from the formation of the Solar System"

      As Homer Simpson once said: "In this house we obey the laws of entropy!"

  10. Mark York 3 Silver badge

    UFO

    SID *would not have been caught so unawares.

    *Space Intruder Detector

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: UFO

      It's a beautification campaign. I dare say you need it Alec.

  11. myarse
    Boffin

    Whaa?

    "Because only objects greater than about 5 cm [2 in] can usually be tracked and, thus, avoided by maneuvering the satellites,"

    That's amazing, how do you track something 5cm across from 435 miles away looking through an atmosphere?

    I genuinely want to know.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Mostly radar AFAIK

      And "tracking" is a slight exaggeration - once the orbit is characterised then you've got pretty reliable predictions of where it will be found in the near future, unless it's low enough to be much affected by atmospheric drag, in which case it will quite soon cease to be an orbital hazard.

      Sci-fi depictions like "The Empire Strikes Back" get the notion of a buzzing swarm of objects into your head, but space really is very very big, even normalised against trips to the chemist's. If the 500,000 tracked pieces are spread evenly across low orbits (400km up) then there's 1500 square kilometres of space for each piece. Of course they aren't spread evenly, but neither are they all in low orbits. So the gaps between them are likely enough for radars to resolve.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Spot the difference"

    oh oh oh oh! I found it, I found it, there's a big red arrow on the second one! Do I get a prize?

  13. Doctor_Wibble
    Trollface

    An errant apostrophe in the wild

    Passing 'postrophe punctures panel, perplexed public panics.

    I saw one of these in a post and I think it's a reasonable assumption that this was in fact the final resting place for it - and it's certainly a relief that we now have photographic evidence of the source of the insidiously invasive insertion of alien apostrophes that we don't normally see until it's too late, i.e. at the grocer's's'.

  14. Bronek Kozicki
    Mushroom

    It's not the time yet ...

    ... but whenever I hear of collision in Earth orbit, I start thinking "Kessler syndrome". Icon appropriate for severity.

  15. Kiwi
    Coat

    Was just the ship from Independance Day

    Only, some idiot named Kryton was playing with a DNA re-sequencing machine he and his mates found in a derelict ship...

  16. Alister
    Coat

    Not a UFO

    Surely, UFO is the acronym for "Unidentified Flying Object".

    This wasn't flying - it can't, it's in space.

    I propose UOO: "Unidentified Orbiting Object"

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