back to article I want to learn about gamification but all I see is same-ification

“You don’t know you’re born,” they would say to me during my first holiday job. “You don’t know you’re a sad, blubber-arsed freeloader coasting towards retirement,” I’d reply… in my head, of course. Out loud, I would complain that they were being unfair, and I would be slapped down with that most frustrating of clichés “Life’ …

  1. Alister
    Thumb Up

    Ivor Biggun was a legend, sadly unappreciated by the masses. Some of his lyrics stay with me to this day.

    1. MrT

      Ha! More Filth, Dirt Cheap - thenceforth any mention of Rhode Island Reds is like hitting rewind and play in my head on a n'th-generation tape copy that's so bad it's gone mono...

      And to think, they let him loose every week on That's Life under a different pseudo :-D

    2. Baldy50

      I thought it was Ivor Biggun and the red nosed burglars?

  2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
    Coffee/keyboard

    "Wales is, of course, so small that it could fit inside Wales."

    Thank you Dabbsy, that was exactly the pick me up I needed right now!

    Also, thank you for creating yet another metal sub-genre - I'll start using the term "Butt-Metal" from now on whenever I think it fits.

    Have a nice weekend anyway, everyone!

    1. John 104

      Also, thank you for creating yet another metal sub-genre - I'll start using the term "Butt-Metal" from now on whenever I think it fits

      Thats an old one, sorry.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Steel Panther is firmly lodged in the Butt-Metal genre...

    2. Baldy50

      Lurv vissitting my arrnty in wales, therrres a farrrm on the way thaaat sels dubble yokkers and I lurv em so I do!

  3. m0rt

    "So this is what gamification is all about? Doing the same old thing again and again but with better water particle effects, backed by $100m and determined by a roomful of blokes? No wonder I went off gaming."

    What you on about? There has been 12 versions of Call of Duty and they all had different story lines.

    http://bit.ly/28RkQ1I

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What you on about? There has been 12 versions of Call of Duty and they all had different story lines.

      I don't give a flying toss about story lines. I want to pick up a joystick (remember those), blast some aliens, beat a high score and then go out. I don't want to have to use 600 different controls and endure 45 minute tutorial and 30 minutes of a lame story line.

      Ah the gold old days, when everything was amazing...

      1. m0rt

        Jeez. Everyone's sarcasm detector is a little off today. Wonder why?

        1. Andy Tunnah

          Burnt out

          Everyone assumed the other side of Brexit they were voting for was an elaborate prank

      2. Mark 85

        Ah the gold old days, when everything was amazing...

        I guess it's time to dig out the CD's with Doom, Duke Nukem and Red Baron.

        1. Vincent Ballard
          Joke

          CDs? The rest of us were talking about the good old days.

          (On a side-note, we need a "Get off my lawn!" icon).

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      I see 5 people did not detect the sarcasm.

      Needs more particles effect.

  4. Mr Dogshit

    Does MTV still exist? I had no idea.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      My local barber has a large TV screen for waiting customers - and a small screen by every barber's chair. The global channel selection is either football - or MTV style continuous pop videos. It gives me a glimpse into the presumably popular entertainments of the young.

      1. m0rt

        "It gives me a glimpse into the presumably popular entertainments of the young."

        Street corners and cheap cider when I were a lad...

        1. Darryl

          I thought MTV had given up on music and was concentrating on pregnant teenagers and teenage moms and teenagers trying to get pregnant and pregnant moms who are teenagers and...

          1. MiguelC Silver badge

            They have and they are, on the 'MTV' channel

            That's why there now also have MTV Music (sugary pop) and MTV Dance (sugary pop with extra bpms) channels... it's weird when Music Television needs to have extra channels where music actually exists.

        2. ChrisBedford

          Street corners and cheap cider when I were a lad...

          Aye well of course we 'ad it rough. We 'ad to get oop at 4 int' mornin', lick road clean wit tongue...

      2. Rob Gr

        "It gives me a glimpse into the presumably popular entertainments of the young."

        No it doesn't. I can guarantee that youngsters spend more time watching YouTube than MTV, by far.

        TV is pretty dull to that generation.

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      Does MTV still exist?

      Yes... and no.

    3. Disk0
      Mushroom

      Mew Sick Television is old hat, we use the Internet to watch cats throwing up now...

      It's still the echo chamber of the music industry and likewise seems to be run by grumpy old gits who only care about the next tuppence in booster fees or whatever their bakshish is called. I can't recall them ever contributing to anything in the way of development in music except to promote sales of predestined material. And as long as I can remember the old gits refer to yoof as "the MTV generation" as if it's somehow what inspired us all to become the mediocre nuisances they project us to be.

      After watching Braindead I realised: it's all just an elaborate plot to get us to buy Cars singles and become host to alien Formicidea.

      1. Mark 85
        Coat

        Re: Mew Sick Television is old hat, we use the Internet to watch cats throwing up now...

        MTV wasn't an entire waste... they gave us Beavis and Butthead. Er... hmm... nevermind.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Up

          Re: Mew Sick Television is old hat, we use the Internet to watch cats throwing up now...

          > MTV wasn't an entire waste... they gave us Beavis and Butthead.

          > Er... hmm... nevermind.

          'The Maxx', 'Drawn Together'...

          1. ChrisBedford

            Re: Mew Sick Television is old hat, we use the Internet to watch cats throwing up now...

            > MTV wasn't an entire waste... they gave us Beavis and Butthead.

            > Er... hmm... nevermind.

            'The Maxx', 'Drawn Together'...

            And who can forget "Pimp My Ride"... erm... well yeah, OK

  5. chivo243 Silver badge

    such as Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall

    no mention of Gary Glitter?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: such as Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall

      John Peel was accused of impregnating a 15 year old girl in 1969.

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9603959/John-Peel-got-15-year-old-pregnant-after-meeting-at-Black-Sabbath-concert-claims-woman.html

      1. Jonathan King

        Re: such as Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall

        And without Jonathan King there would have been no Genesis. Perhaps your prog rock Barrister had better concentrate on more serious matters - like scuppering the False Allegations Industry?

        Jonathan KIng

    2. Naughtyhorse

      Re: such as Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall

      Missed a trick, could have dropped that name in the leeeeeeeeder

  6. Whitter
    Devil

    Manowar

    "If you're not into metal, you are not my friend"

    There was always a good slice of comedy in metal!

    1. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Manowar

      Like Gwar? Or the Bloody Stools?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Huh?

    Gamification has nothing to do with games. It's about taking something inherently boring, and making it fun in a dopamine pathway / skinner box way.

    Say you wanted to encourage teh Yoof to post on El Reg. Well they're not just going to do it on their own because stringing emoji-less sentences is hard and boring. You need to reward them, so after 10 posts with at least 1 upvote each, you give them a bronze star archiement, and the screen explodes in confetti "WELL DONE, YOU'RE AWESOME!".

    Then you sell them 50 gems for £19.99

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Huh?

      Nailed it. And, I'll add, there's no money in it as a side job for the struggling indie game developer. When a prospective client talks about Gamification, it means they're untrustworthy morally bankrupt scumbags who are desperate for cash and clueless to the fact that Peak Gamification happened 5 years ago and the world's immune to it now.

      Plus, there's zero synergy. Gamedev is a tour de force of interesting programming challenges. Gamification is the worst of webdev, mobile apps, social surveillance, and cloud crapification.

      Anon because don't want to give clients any ideas.

      1. Disk0
        Trollface

        zero synergy

        is that like the new Men At Work

        1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

          Re: zero synergy

          ... good name for a band.

    2. Chris G

      Re: Huh?

      @ massivelySerial, I gave you an upvote but you really deserve several plus a couple of beers.

      I came home hot, tired and ready for my nap but I laughed out loud at your comment and I'm ready for a beer or several myself.

      Talking of old git phrases, back in my yoof we had park keepers, Parkies in common parlance.

      They always had a stick with a nail in the end for picking up litter, however,if they caught us up to no good they would wave the stick at us and shout " Gercher cowsun!" "Gerrahtavit!" and then chase us.

      I get cowsun as obviously being disparaging about one's origins but I would like to know what Gercher derives from.

      Anyone?

      Bootnote: Putting penny bangers down the chimney of their hut (yes I am that old) usually produced much more colourful language.

      1. Wensleydale Cheese

        Gercher

        "I would like to know what Gercher derives from"

        Probably short for something like "Get yer arse/ugly mug out of here", cf "Gotcha".

        also see Gercha! - "London Slang: a mild threat as if to say 'what a load of rubbish !' or 'get out of here !'."

    3. DaveNullstein

      Re: Huh?

      "Gamification has nothing to do with games. It's about taking something inherently boring, and making it fun in a dopamine pathway / skinner box way."

      This. It is on par with adding more nicotine to cigarettes. Or worse, adding nicotine to ice cream. IT IS EVIL... for the most part.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Huh?

        This. It is on par with adding more nicotine to cigarettes. Or worse, adding nicotine to ice cream. IT IS EVIL... for the most part.

        How is killing the boring and getting people to actually want to do something bad?

        Unless you are an irredentist Marxist-Leninist who needs to rip the ugly façade of hidden oppression and exploitation off everything and generally is an unfunny guy who bemoans austerity even as your representative just got a 20% payrise?

    4. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: Huh?

      >Then you sell them 50 gems for £19.99

      A serious cold wind of ennui just blew though me when I read this.

    5. Tom 64
      Pint

      Re: Huh?

      Well said.

      I happen to work in a Japanese games studio and:

      1) There are plenty of talented women in the industry here

      2) They aren't completely unaware of the world (at least anymore), and hey they employ immigrants like me

      3) There is a lot of hard work and original ideas that go into games (at least in the studio's I've been involved with)

      Still have a pint for making me giggle about wales ;)

  8. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

    > Then you sell them 50 gems for £19.99

    So - how *do* you win at El Reg? Spamming^WAsking all your friends to join your Clan^Wnetwork?

    Awkward for some of us. It would seem to require friends that do IT. Or friends..

    1. A. Coatsworth Silver badge
      Coat

      Ask Eadon.

      He won so hard he was whisked away to a different plane.

      1. rmason

        Ah Eadon,

        He did indeed win, rumours he was banned are false. He simply ascended.

        1. Rich 11

          He'd transcended before he even got here. After that he just condescended.

      2. Chris King

        "Ask Eadon. He won so hard he was whisked away to a different plane".

        Nah, the mother ship returned for him and beamed him up.

  9. Terry 6 Silver badge

    Repetitious

    I don't think we can just blame yoof for having repetitious retread games. They've always had a sameyness about them.

    I dearly wanted to get into playing games, ever since they were in text only.

    But every game I tried would start or quickly arrive at a random dark location where you had to randomly discover an exit by repeatedly trying, dying and starting again until you got the right sequence.

    And long before I ever reached that point I'd just think Stuff it. There are better things to do with my life.

    1. Disk0
      Pint

      Re: Repetitious

      And here I am pressing these same old keys to write same old words in a somewhat different order in hopes of staving off existential dread for another couple of moments instead of submitting to the illusion that playing chess will increase my intellectual powers as long as I keep defeating the next Boss...

  10. Arctic fox
    Thumb Up

    "Here’s the Buzzcocks original, complete with helpful subtitles for Donald Trump."

    Spanish subtitles for Donald Trump? Well done Alistair, hilarious - see icon.

  11. Jon 88

    Another idea

    Or perhaps, you should note the correlation that you don't like either the music today, or the games today, and equally so it seems. If the music is terrible, perhaps the games are too, in actuality? Perhaps all of us want better but don't have it, or don't understand what it takes to get better.

  12. John 104

    Another irritating statement about the lack of women in programming. So what? There seems to be a lack of breastfeeding men in the world. We should do something about it! Or not.

    Nothing is holding women back from developing. Games, productivity software, whatever. I think there is less bias than the media (looking at you Alister) would have you think. The fact is, women just don't find it interesting so they pursue other career interests. This isn't a bad thing. Women and men don't have to think the same and want the same things for there to be perfection in the world. We are different and that's how it should be. Otherwise the world would be quite boring.

    As a side note, when I was last contracting at the Evil Large Software Company in the Redmond Area, there were actually quite a number of women in programming and systems roles. Those who want to do it will, those who don't will do something else.

    1. John H Woods Silver badge

      John 104 --- In a sense I agree. Perhaps this will resolve itself as more of today's female gamers grow up and some of them become game devs. At the moment gaming can be more than a bit female-unfriendly. Not because the girls are no good at it, but because of established culture.

      Both my wife (who is a racing genius) and my daughter (FPS boss) have to play with gender-neutral IDs and with their mic's off because it just gets somewhat unpleasant, especially when they're winning (as usual). I don't believe in positive discrimination but I can't wait for it all to become a bit less sexist.

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      What's not love about game making? Insane hours, erratic pay, rocky career, slave driving bosses, bad food, mental fanbases, the list is long.

      I just see women's lack of numbers as further proof women are still slightly smarter than men.

    3. Alistair Dabbs

      >> lack of women in programming

      I wasn't aware that I made any statement implying bias or suggesting positive discrimination as a solution. You imagined it in your angry head.

  13. Andy Tunnah

    Praise be to Dabbs

    I'm only 31 but you speak to me on a level that I couldn't be arsed finishing

  14. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    I just bought Snakes and Ladders for granddaughter.

    On a proper cardboard board, with genuine 3-d effects.

    Does that count?

  15. OzBob

    Bugger! Just missed Steel Panther in NZ

    Last night, halfway across the country! belgium!

  16. PhilipN Silver badge

    A propos today's music; MC5

    Once there was a band called MC5 which if there ever was such a band single-handedly laid the foundations for heavy metal, punk, grunge and the future of rock generally.

    They had a guitarist. More than one in fact. Incidentally to explain their sound and how they were different from The Who, they had a rhythm guitarist who played rhythm guitar the way Keith Moon played the drums.

    Wayne Kramer gives a lecture here :

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qgSBrgZlzM

    on the dumbing down of music generally in the past 50 to 70 years. Helps to explain why the average attention span of today's pimply-faced teen or aging fart rock fan such as yours truly is 3 seconds. That's how long it takes to "get" the musical idea of the piece, if any, then you can move on.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can we write article with subheading so i don't have to sit for 10 minutes to work out the points in the article. Also a bonus to SEO.

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