back to article Like masochism? Run a PC? These VXers want to help you pwn yourself

Masochistic Windows users have been given a helping hand from hackers, in the form of step-by-step instructions on how to get their PCs infected with malware. A recent malware-slinging banking trojan campaign targeting Germany last week comes with explicit instructions for the recipients describing how to get their computers …

  1. hplasm
    Devil

    Sounds like a W10 upgrade...

    " PC users are told to click on “More Information” -> “Download anyway” "

    1. Locky

      Re: Sounds like a W10 upgrade...

      The result is the same

    2. Mikel
      Pint

      Re: Sounds like a W10 upgrade...

      You can prevent this "Windows 10" and the annoying pop-up ads that serve it and come with it by running this totally safe and not virus infected program that I put up on my website "hahagotcha dot com". Of course it needs Admin access to tweak your system settings so Microsoft can't take over your PC. ;-)

  2. Andy Non Silver badge
    Trollface

    User malware support

    I get excellent customer support from an Indian call centre that phones me occasionally to help me through installing malware on a Windows computer I don't have. They are really patient while I go to the next room to turn it on and wait five minutes while it boots up and also patient with all my typing mistakes and other problems understanding computers. I have to carefully write down all their instructions as I can't remember them by the time I get to my computer, then write down the messages the computer gives me. It takes them another ten minutes just to get me to display the error logs that indicate my computer is full of malware. Well I am 60 years old and computer illiterate ;-) Then they try to get me to go to their "team-viewer support site" and then patiently explain what internet 404 errors are and what "Server not found" means (apparently it means hackers have taken over my computer and are blocking me from visiting their "support" site). They politely explain that they can't accept a cheque for payment and agree to phone back an hour later as "my wife has our debit card and is currently out shopping". I kept the last scammer on the phone for half an hour and got him to phone back later. "Sorry, she's not back yet." I take the view that while he's wasting time on me he isn't scamming someone else who is more naive. At no point do I actually leave my comfy armchair while sipping a cup of tea and watching TV, carefully gauging how long to leave the phone hanging while I "go to the computer in the next room".

    1. WolfFan Silver badge

      Re: User malware support

      You are My Hero. If I ever grew up (unlikely at this late date) I'd want to be like you.

    2. adnim
      Happy

      Re: User malware support

      Nice :-) Same here, although it depends how busy I am. Or mischievous I am, I sometimes let them connect to a VM I used to use for malware analysis. They never seem to notice all the diagnostic/file analysis tool shortcuts on the desktop. They just want to get me to a Paypal gateway as quickly as possible. I am going deaf too ;-) so they have to repeat themselves 2-3 times.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: User malware support

      Well done. My record for keeping them on line is just short of an hour, and I was passed up the support line (at least to another guy that actually knew a little about computers). What really foxed them was the fact I have an old IBM clicky keyboard that doesn't have the windows keys. I had to have the guy look it up on the internet before he understood.

      At the end the guy swore at me and threw his headset down on the desk before cutting the call.

      That was nearly 12 months ago and they haven't called back, I wonder why?

      1. P. Lee

        Re: User malware support

        >At the end the guy swore at me and threw his headset down on the desk before cutting the call.

        My record is 42 minutes, at then end of which the nice man from Windows support was not only swearing but sexually threatening my wife and children. Well, with that kind of attitude I won't be using their services again! ;)

        1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

          Re: User malware support

          My record is 10 seconds, now I read this I realise I should be doing the same and maybe use my Raspberry Pi for something

        2. Bluto Nash

          Re: User malware support

          My record stopped at 55 minutes with two callbacks from them, including a "manager" that sounded very much like the original caller. Mint VM and IBM Model M stymied them rather well, especially as "my son built this for me and I simply click the picture that says 'internet' on it," and other slower-downers. The keyboard is usually the best though. "Okay, look at the bottom left of your keyboard." "Yes, there's a Cee-Tee-Ar-Ell key there." "What's next to it?" "A blank space, then an Ay-Ell-Tee" button." "There must be a button between them!" etc., etc., etc. Couple that with FF and NoScript, and that kills most of their web buttons as well. Fun for all, usually resulting in the aforementioned cursing and questioning the heredity of myself and relatives.

    4. enerider
      Devil

      Re: User malware support

      My thoughts exactly!

      My personal best was 1 hour the first night, followed by 1 1/2 hours the very next day.

      The final half hour of the second day was getting called back and sworn at.

      Quote: "You are the biggest bastard I have ever encountered!"

      VM + snapshot was a handy thing (as at the time they were using TeamViewer and nuked all the files...which magically reappeared...)

      ...and emailed their payment gateway at the time

      ...and emailed their hosting provider

      ...and their registrar

      There was a lovely HTTP error adorning their virtualitsupports.com payment site for a while

      I recently had a call: "Is this <name>?" "Yes?" *CLICK*

      ...they cut themselves off!

  3. regadpellagru

    true story, here

    "Recipients are further told by the hackers to disable or turn off their antivirus or firewall. If there are problems, the instructions continue, add the malware file to the exceptions list and try again. Or, you can temporarily turn off your anti-virus or firewall until the file has been downloaded, punters are advised."

    Some people don't even require being explain this.

    I only realised one of my friend's scary illiteracy with PC after upgrading it from W8 to W7, just to hear, 10 days after re-installation, that he downloaded a freeware from one of the usual malware fest (clubic, 01net etc ...), opening it, see some weird warning from the AV I'd installed, and ... promptly de-installing the AV in order to run the exe.

    He was never able to boot, past that. Bang, second re-install + 2 hours of explaining a thing or too :-)

    1. cd

      Re: true story, here

      The same people who will question every instruction I give them, yet will follow anonymous instructions without taking a moment to think.

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge
        Flame

        Re: true story, here

        And later on will trace everything going wrong from then onwards back to you changing the template font in Word for them...

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: true story, here

        "yet will follow anonymous instructions without taking a moment to think."

        Of course. It's what the computer says so it must be right.

  4. Ian 55

    Reminds me of the first Linux nasty I saw

    It purported to be an email from Red Hat with a new version of ls and helpfully gave instructions on how to install it.

  5. Old Handle
    Pint

    Sounds a bit like the Irish Virus

    I assume most of you have seen it at some point. If not, it's a picture of a leprechaun, and an explanation that they're not very technically sophisticated, so please delete all your files manually and then send it to everyone you know.

    I always wondered how you were supposed to send it to anyone after trashing your computer, but I guess that just confirms their admitted lack technology skills.

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Sounds a bit like the Irish Virus

      There was another variant of this called the "Amish Virus". Great fun back then.

  6. Herby

    Wonderful telephone "support"...

    I recently had one of these phone calls. It was quite humorous when he told me to "hold the Windows key and press R". Of course nothing happened on my Linux desktop machine, and I told him so. Funny how the script doesn't take that into account.

    I suspect that given the gullability of the general public (the word ins't in the dictionary), they would follow instructions to take a kitchen knife and slice open some biological thing to eradicate toxins from the body that blood has.

    p.s. Please don't do this at home!

    1. edge_e
      Boffin

      Re: Wonderful telephone "support"...

      I suspect that given the gullability of the general public (the word ins't in the dictionary), they would follow instructions to take a kitchen knife and slice open some biological thing to eradicate toxins from the body that blood has.

      Given that there are those that stop taking medication because they're now giving all their money to someone who's going to pray they get better, I'm sure you're right

  7. Mark 85
    Devil

    Unless it's from a Nigerian who is the widow of a very wealthy man, I'm not installing anything from an email.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like