back to article Fed-up Colorado man takes 9mm PISTOL to vexing Dell PC

A Colorado Springs man who decided he'd had just about enough of his cantankerous Dell PC took it into an alleyway and pumped eight 9mm rounds into its sorry case, according to the local Gazette. Lucas Hinch, 37, simply "got tired of fighting with his computer for the last several months", as the Colorado Springs Police …

  1. Alister

    I think that may invalidate his warranty...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The XPS 410 was current in 2007. I doubt his warranty was eight years. Which makes me wonder why he was so angry that such an old piece of kit was on the blink?

      1. Code Monkey
        Windows

        He was a homeopathy fan. Maybe his herbal tea had seen a picture of some methamphetamine.

      2. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

        I remember those Dell cases, compared to their other cases this one was just easy to open and didn't have anything which would attempt to eat my hand if I opened it the wrong way.

    2. Tom 7

      Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

      He could have bought a Dell recommended 9mm for several times the price though!

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

        Lucky it was a Dell.

        If it was an HP the bullets would have $99 each - although the gun would only have cost $39.99

        1. Evil Auditor Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

          If it was an HP the bullets would have $99 each - although the gun would only have cost $39.99

          It was a Hi-Point; costs hardly more than $39.99.

          1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
            Coat

            Re: I think that may invalidate his warranty...

            When he fired his first shot, did he get a message:

            Windows has detected new hardware:

            9mm Hi-point compatibe bullet

            Please wait until proper drivers have been installed

            Sorry, just couldn't resist, I'll get me coat

    3. dorsetknob
      Gimp

      Re Replacment

      Dear Michael Dell

      Here is a Sales lead for your Sales Team

      No Commission Required

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Right now, at this particular moment, I think I known exactly the way he was feeling. How satisfying it must have been to keep on pulling the trigger at a Dell machine ...

    1. Evil Auditor Silver badge

      Well, back yonks, in another life, I had to deal with Olivetti PCs. Those buggers were a real pain! You couldn't open a case without having your hands and fingers cut. How I wished to shoot them...

      When switching to Dell, that was a real treat.

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

        Ah, the old Olivetti's. My physical scars have healed by now. I would much more prefer to take an axe to them and "give them a reprogramming they will never forget" to paraphrase Ford Prefect's words to Eddy, the shipboard computer.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Yes!!!

    I just had it,” adding that he tired of the balky computer’s “blue screen of death"

    Should have bought Apple.

    1. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Yes!!!

      Traditionally Apples have been used for targets - just ask William Tell.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_an_apple_off_one%27s_child%27s_head

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yes!!!

      Not enough down votes, gimme more!!!!

  4. NoneSuch Silver badge

    The story to the police was bogus. That PC owed him BitCoin and couldn't pay.

  5. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip
    Linux

    What we need to know

    Will it still run Linux...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What we need to know

      Sure, the only reason you install Linux is because you have a PC full of holes....

      1. Oninoshiko
        Joke

        Re: What we need to know

        true, but before you do, every PC is full of holes...

  6. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

    So, what's happened to the mouse then?

    1. Ragarath

      Re: Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

      The cat had it!

      1. James O'Shea

        Re: Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

        http://www.swapmeetdave.com/Humor/Cats/CatMouse2.jpg

        1. bill 27
          Pint

          Re: Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

          Once, long ago, we had a SUN mouse die. I cut the tail off and put it into a mouse trap, then inside the case of a dead PC we were turning in.

          I was worried when I saw the article. I know several people in the Springs who could have done it, so I was relieved to not see a familiar name.

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: Survived by a monitor and a keyboard

      "So, what's happened to the mouse then?"

      The shock was too much for it... I'm afraid it didn't make it, despite heroic efforts: http://thisonesite.com/2zbd

  7. ratfox
    Flame

    > homeopathic store owner

    Prison's too good for him.

    1. Just Enough
      Boffin

      Oh come on, there has to be a gag in there somewhere! You're just not trying.

      He should have rubbed a 400X dilution of gunpowder onto a USB port. That sort of powerful stuff would have really taught it a lesson far better than any gun.

      1. MyffyW Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        The damage to the chassis can be repaired by taking said 400th dilution of gunpowder, tapping it firmly against a bench and then pouring over the power supply. Whilst plugged in.

        Oh no, wait. That's a cure for an irrational faith in homeopathy.

        1. Rich 11

          There's such a thing as a rational faith in homeopathy?

          1. 080

            Are those with a faith in homeopathy, homeopathetic?

          2. Primus Secundus Tertius

            @Rich 11

            Who said anything about faith? He was selling the stuff, not believing in it.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              "Who said anything about faith? He was selling the stuff, not believing in it."

              Be careful. Some chiropracty body sued a journalist for libel for suggesting that they knew their treatments didn't work. It's OK to suggest somebody believes in pink unicorns, but not to suggest that they claim to but actually don't believe in them. Stupidity OK, cynicism not. Unless you're a politician.

              1. This post has been deleted by its author

                1. Vic

                  Re: "Who said anything about faith? He was selling the stuff, not believing in it."

                  Mr. Justice Eady

                  How could anyone have guessed it would be him?

                  Vic.

                2. John Savard

                  Re: "Who said anything about faith? He was selling the stuff, not believing in it."

                  I just hope that not one new pence of that 200,000 pounds came from Simon Singh, but instead it all came from the British Chiropractic Association. Otherwise, there could be a chilling effect on physicians, skeptics, and others who seek to inform the public about dangerous quackery.

          3. Hans 1

            >There's such a thing as a rational faith in homeopathy?

            Yes, there is.

            Even if you believe that homeopathy is just BS, people who do not enjoy "at the very least" the placebo effect. Given the price difference with the real stuff, everybody wins.

            1. Just Enough
              Holmes

              There is a rational faith held by many of homoeopathy's purveyors that is self evidently true; it is easy money extracted from the gullible.

        2. Mark 85

          Your forgot the chant. Now try it....

    2. Otto is a bear.

      Backups

      I expect he'd backed it all up using the Memory of Water then.

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. adnim

    Can't help thinking...

    It came installed with Windows and the hardware worked fine.

    I was responsible for 250 Dell PC's on site, 2 had hardware issues (both mother board failures in Optiplex boxes) in 5 years and Dell responded promptly... This was 15-10 years ago, can't comment on the hardware quality nor Dell response now. Do Dell suck these days?

    1. David Austin

      Re: Can't help thinking...

      Their home kit (Inspiron, studio) isn't anything to write home about, but their business kit (OptiPlex, latitude) is pretty good: Reasonably priced, good reliability, and backed up by good servicing and parts options, especially if you spring for the NBD ProSupport.

      Normally it's a straight fight between them and HP for our shop.

      1. adnim
        Happy

        @David Re: Can't help thinking...

        Thank you David, I am out of touch with business/corporate IT hardware matters these days.... HP? I remember getting very angry at Compaq Armada laptops in the late 90's, that was before HP bought Compaq out though... You just brought back memories nightmares ;-)

        1. CaptainBanjax

          Re: @David Can't help thinking...

          The 90s? Laptops were the size of an Armada then!

          Boom boom!

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @David Can't help thinking...

            I've still got a Compaq DMT upstairs, 266Mhz CPU 98MB ram, you'd need more than a 9mm.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Musket

    If he'd exercised his downgrade rights he could have used a musket.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Musket

      I would have gone for the rail-gun upgrade ;-)

    2. Hans 1
      Thumb Up

      Re: Musket

      Muskets ? makes me think of good ole Jim! That cunt says it all!

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lL8JEEt2RxI

  10. emmanuel goldstein

    at least no armadillos were harmed.

    1. Mark 85

      Or Mother-in-laws.

  11. Dazed and Confused
    Holmes

    Come on guys

    Can any of you claim that there has never been an occasion when you wouldn't have cheerfully taken your computer outside and put it out of your misery?

    1. adnim

      @ Dazed Re: Come on guys

      To be honest Dazed I have been building computers since the early nineties and 9 times out of ten it has been the software. Hardware does fail but that is so, so easy to diagnose. Software making it look like the hardware is faulty is something else entirely. But I agree I have wanted to kill hardware because that is what presents the results of faulty software to my perceptions and as such usually takes the brunt of my anger.

      1. DropBear
        Joke

        Re: @ Dazed Come on guys

        But I agree I have wanted to kill hardware because that is what presents the results of faulty software

        There is a definition according to which "Hardware is all the parts of your computer that you can kick"...

    2. Bob Wheeler
      Thumb Up

      Re: Come on guys

      Got to say, therre have been many times over the years I want'ed to throw a server or ten out of the 3rd floor window.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Come on guys

      I can, I know some developers I'd like to slap some sense into, (Gnome, systemd, fedora)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Come on guys

        ARGH don't get me started on Gnome3 ARGH

        Defaults to 1920x1200 desktop in VNC even when told to use 1280x1024 (OK, I'm a pixel junky and can run 1920x1200 windows on my desktop, but it isn't exactly common)

        No option for a plain colour background, just over sized noise images, do these guys have the faintest idea what this does to the performance of screen painting when the server is 3000+ miles away?

        Having to change settings using dconf-editor, where's the nice colour editor gone just as an example FFS

        gnome-shell which likes to go into infinite loops and burn a CPU

        ARGH

        If this server was a nice safe 3000+ miles away it would be in grave danger of being hurled off the roof

        Now please just don't get be started on systemd or it will be me hurling myself off the roof and I'm not a safe 3000+ miles away.

    4. Grikath

      Re: Come on guys

      Having worked for a "small" dutch PC manufacturer in the past... Yes, we did..

      Sometimes there were boxen that simply refused to work properly whichever part you switched out, batches of cards that were *just* inside of spec, etc.. And sometimes a sacrificial lamb was slaughtered to pay for its misbehaviour and to appease Murphy. We actually had a special suggestions box for it to see who could come up with the most original way to mangle the next sacrifice.

    5. Captain DaFt

      Re: Come on guys

      Well, I will confess to once 'rebooting' a recalcitrant machine so hard I broke my big toe.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Come on guys

        Anon as I'm ashamed.

        One month ago, during a dense vid game session and a couple of boozes, the middle mouse wheel went itself blocked. As it's more or less the only way to navigate in this game, I got super ennoyed.

        The mouse finshed under the chop literally. I chopped it in half with a small axe. I though it ridiculous for a gaming mouse (Logitec G302) to screw up so badly after what, a bit more than one year usage.

        I now have a new one (Corsair).

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Come on guys

      Can any of you claim that there has never been an occasion when you wouldn't have cheerfully taken your computer outside and put it out of your misery?

      Computers no. Coworkers... sometimes.

    7. Hans 1
      Boffin

      Re: Come on guys

      >Can any of you claim that there has never been an occasion when you wouldn't have cheerfully taken your computer outside and put it out of your misery?

      No, I install Linux.

    8. John Savard

      Re: Come on guys

      Yes. A computer costs far too much money to be reckless with it like that. I don't have money to waste by destroying valuable items in a fit of temper. So I tend to be very suspicious of people who demonstrate that they do have a high capacity to go into destructive rages.

  12. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse

    Err...

    So he has the right to bear arms - but not to actually discharge them?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Err...

        It's an interesting difference of law between the US and the UK for firearms.

        Depending on state the laws are much less about ownership, and much more about misuse. The UK made it hard to own firearms in the first place, the US lets you have them, but if you misbehave it doesn't end well for you.

        So I can own a gun in the US without too much trouble at all, I can even carry it about unless the area is specified as a no-carry zone. But if I shoot it in an urban area that isn't at a range, wave it about and scare people or do something silly outside of city limits, it's not going to be a good day for me.

    2. DropBear
      Trollface

      Re: Err...

      This lack of justice is disgusting - so Elvis had the right to shoot his TV whenever he wanted, but the ordinary folk may not do that?!? Outrageous! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!

      1. chivo243 Silver badge
        Angel

        Re: Err...

        @DropBear

        Elvis had the luxury of shooting his televisions in the privacy of his own home, and could afford repairing any collateral damage. Our homeopathic practitioner, who probably couldn't afford collateral to repair collateral damage, decided to play with guns in the alley. Big NO NO in the city limits in the land of guns.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Err...

      "So he has the right to bear arms - but not to actually discharge them?"

      The Amendment to the Constitution would seem to suggest that any actual use of guns would be as part of a well regulated militia, and Dell PCs are not mentioned as enemy combatants in the document.

      1. Oninoshiko

        Re: Err...

        If you think Dell PCs are not enemy combatants, you've not worked on one!

        1. Johndoe888
          Mushroom

          Re: Err...

          Time pc's were the worst, followed by Packard bell and Tiny, all of which deserved more than a mere 9mm pistol !

          1. Fihart

            Re: Err... @Johndoe888

            My (least) favourites were anything with a PC Chips motherboard. Promptly renamed PC Chimps. Runner-up, Foxconn boards for apparently little driver support on website.

            Generally, manufacturer whose drivers don't work with OEM versions otherwise identical to branded retail versions and who deny any knowledge of OEM products clearly manufactured by them.

        2. chivo243 Silver badge
          Windows

          Re: Err...

          @Oninoshiko

          well said! I had to the pleasure of managing about 300 optiplex 260's 270's and 280's. Almost all the motherboards(capacitor issue!) of the 270's had to be replaced. I quit counting when the first 280 motherboard needed replacing!

    4. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. Spaceman Spiff

    It was the Windows that did it your honor!

    The problem probably wasn't the Dell, but the Windows operating system it was running! Hopefully one of the bullets hit the disc drive - that will show 'em!

    1. kmac499

      Re: It was the Windows that did it your honor!

      I'm writing this on a similar boxed Dell and the Disk Drives lie side by side flat on the bottom of the case.. Obviously they were expecting a homeo-cidal maniac packing a 9mm. Judging by the hole pattern they may well have survived, so a bit of T-Cut and it'll be good to go...

  14. hi_robb

    Excellent presentation

    Exceptional use of bulletpoints..

  15. Cosmo

    This reminds me of an old Reg article!

    It took me a while to find it, but here it is!

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/02/10/it_bloke_shoots_daughters_laptop/

    Basically, a dad gets narked at his daughter's rant on FaceBook, so he takes the laptop that he prepped for her out the back and puts about 6 bullets into it. Youtube video included!

    1. codejunky Silver badge

      Re: This reminds me of an old Reg article!

      That was awesome.

    2. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: This reminds me of an old Reg article!

      Pappy's return rant on Youtube was equally great! He was so calm before the storm! Was he from Colorado too?

  16. Winkypop Silver badge
    Coat

    PC had bugs

    Now it's got slugs!

  17. Colin Miller

    Anti-stress

    Obviously, his homoeopathy stress-relef pills aren't worth the sugar they're made from.

  18. Bob Wheeler

    Did he get the idea from...

    http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=19980523&mode=classic

  19. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    homeopathic store owner

    Is that a store that's been broken down into billions of pieces too small to see then spread across the entire country?

  20. Khaptain Silver badge

    What's worse

    I can't decide what's worse, the Dell or the HiPoint !

    For anyone that doesn't know, Hi-Point make very low cost firearms, they are on the opposite end of the scale from Sig Sauer etc.

  21. Joey

    Dell!

    My one and only Dell computer ever was nearly thrown out of the second floor window on a number of occasions, were it not for the safety of those below. After ten service calls where everything was replaced (but the case) without it being fixed, I took it to the local dump and then built my own PC from the ground up. Now, if I had had a gun at the time...

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Dell!

      I once went to a fault call where the customer showed me the reports sheets proving that the HDD, MB, PSU, RAM, data cables, FDD (showing it's age!) and even the CPU had all been replaced, except the case, and it still was faulty. It WAS the case. The motherboard was shorting out to a slight bend/kink in the case once it warmed up.

  22. W T Riker

    Poor grouping

    He didn't group his shots very well. Maybe that's why the Police are charging him.

  23. Jim-234

    Well the police did him a huge favour by taking away his Hi-Point pistol, perhaps he'll learn a bit over the months and get something with a bit more quality.

  24. Nash

    Joke

    A man walks into the computer shop and says to the chap behind the counter...

    "My computer keeps playing the same sounds, over and over"

    Computer man asks

    "what kind of sounds?"

    Man says

    "Rolling in the Deep, and Someone like you"

    Computer man says

    "i think that's because its, Adele"

    Adele, get it, A, Dell......A.....Dell

    Thank you, i'm here all week.

  25. Patrick R
    Windows

    Microsoft might hire him.

    They're still searching for a way to kill XP.

  26. Chrome

    Just goes to show

    Modern computer owners can't even take a screenshot

  27. phil dude
    Mushroom

    taking ordnance to pc parts...

    There is a local company that will "chew" my hardrives to bits (I imagine it to be a shredder of some sorts).

    Other friendly IT folks have shown me hard drives with various types of bullets used.

    A hollow-point is perhaps the most graphic example of "design destruction" imaginable when used in the context of a Human being. The entry site is as smooth as a drill bit, the exit is a snapshot of an explosion in progress.

    There was a mythbusters where they used a very fast machine gun to cut something solid in half - scary but beautiful in a "black hole event horizon" sort of way...

    P.

    1. richardcox13

      Re: taking ordnance to pc parts...

      > mythbusters [...] fast machine gun to cut something solid in half

      Cut down a tree is the usual aim.

      Been done in other programmes as well.

      Not cost efficient or time efficient. But does show why one does not want to be in front of such weapons.

  28. BernardL

    Should have brought it to a range. People would queue up to shoot that, he could sell tickets.

    And - depending on local regulations - someone might have offered to let him use a larger calibre.

  29. CaptainBanjax

    His GTA5 rank

    Ironically is now 100.

  30. Gannettt

    has anyone said "Only in America!" yet?

    1. Mark 85

      I guess no one outside of America is jealous that we can shoot our computers.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Meh

        shootem

        Not really we use sledge hammers or semtex to remove computers from real life

        - much more satisfying

  31. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    "The XPS 410 was current in 2007. I doubt his warranty was eight years. Which makes me wonder why he was so angry that such an old piece of kit was on the blink?"

    I run Ubuntu so I don't get pissed off enough at my computers to want to shoot them. But, the hardware problems of an older PC are generally fan failures, when you can hear those fans grind and stop spinning it's annoying but also obvious something's going wrong (the "numerous blown cap" Dells were GX270s, several years older). Elderly-Windows-install related misbehaviors, crashes, slowdowns, viruses and spyware, mystery popups, and so on? Those would piss anybody off. I guess the flip side of this all is, though, if the computer was on it's last legs, there was really no harm in shooting it (other than having the plod show up).

    1. Conundrum1885

      Re.

      <snip> "But, the hardware problems of an older PC are generally fan failures, when you can hear those fans grind and stop spinning it's annoying but also obvious something's going wrong (the "numerous blown cap" Dells were GX270s, several years older). " </snip>

      <rant>

      Add "Browngluedammerung" to that list, more equipment I have repaired had this "feature" than actual verifiable bad capacitors.

      I recently repaired a very nice combo unit that had a switch failure, upon reassembling noticed that the display no longer worked. Hours of troubleshooting later, traced the fault back to a small can crystal liberally encrusted with brown conductive glue. Took off PCB, cleaned and replaced, Hello Bozo!

      Needless to say this glue can also cause power supplies to "leak", or power amplifiers etc to just take off into never-never land at RF frequencies or just catch on fire when you least expect it.

      Did I mention that this can occur on PCBs stored for decades as well, so when someone goes to swap out a standby power supply to a main the chances of it blowing up are not zero.

      I now have a policy of writing off on the spot any equipment that has glue of this type in, no matter how "minor" the fault because it also corrodes tracks INSIDE the frelling PCB as if it couldn't get any worse.

      </rant>

  32. Conundrum1885

    Dude you got a Dell...

    Clicka BOOM ... HEADSHOT!!!

    The worrying thing is I have the exact machine featured, 2400 running XP, P4 768MB RAM, 7200RPM HDD. Needless to say about the only original parts are the power supply and motherboard, sucky though it is.

    Can anyone suggest a creative way to put it out of its misery when it does finally expire?

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    8 rounds of 9mm ?

    you're shi**ing me, that's had 9 rounds through it minimum!

  34. Unicornpiss
    Meh

    HP "Kayak"

    We had an HP Kayak PC at work running a piece of lab equipment. Shooting was too good for it and pissing on it would have been a waste of a good piss.

  35. JustWondering
    Happy

    Sure ...

    In the blessed name of Elvis ...

  36. Bluto Nash
    Thumb Down

    Unfathomable.

    Holy crap, has anyone noticed that he's a really BAD shot? That's what, an 18" group?

    1. Manolo

      Re: Unfathomable.

      I don't know. If you want to do maximum damage to a piece of equipment, do you try to hit as many parts of it as possible, or do you try to make all your bullets fly through one small hole?

  37. Van

    Nothing to see here. Just another user who thinks it less hassle to buy a new PC than do a clean install, without the initial bloatware.

  38. bill 27

    I guess it's time to break out the 12Ga magnum scattergun.

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