back to article Watch: China has made an internet censorship THEME SONG

Creating patriotic songs is an age-old solution to difficult problems, albeit one that is out of fashion in the Western world. Not so in China, which has just released a tremendous rousing tribute to its clean, clear and incorruptible internet. The song is performed by the Cyberspace Administration of China choral group, …

  1. Jes.e

    That reminds me..

    Microsoft's Vista "Wow is Now" musical number where they tell you not to pirate the OS:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhP-QAeT6cI

    Shudder!

    Seemed slightly Orwellian when I heard it.

    (and lets not mention the then new Hollywood DRM which was built in..)

    1. asdf

      Re: That reminds me..

      Pirate Vista and they actually spent money worrying about that? Hahaha

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: That reminds me..

        Wouldn't a tune about their police using battery cables against various parts of dissidents bodies be more Chinesy.

        Oh, and accurate.

        1. John Bailey

          Re: That reminds me..

          "Wouldn't a tune about their police using battery cables against various parts of dissidents bodies be more Chinesy."

          Yeah,, but America called dibs.

          1. Dana W

            Re: That reminds me..

            In America a good lawyer gets you rich for life on that. In China you get promoted.

    2. gotes

      Re: That reminds me..

      Pirate Windows Vista? They'd be lucky.

  2. Christian Berger

    Reminds me of Surfen Multimedia

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFPQbnraeVg

    Surf surf surf surf surf surf surf surf

    Surfing surfing through the world with multi-media.

    Surfing surfing day and night on the data-Autobahn.

    Surfing surfing through the world with multi-media.

    Surfing surfing day and night on the data-Autobahn.

    Come tonight into the Internet, I'm already waiting for you.

    Man be a user, go online, in e-mail you will meet me.

    ....

    And if you are missing some megabytes, you'll find them with me.

    No matter if interface or cyberspace, I like to share with you.

    ...

    With bits and bytes with mouse and click, we're going on a tour.

    Today in the world-wide-web we'll follow every hot track.

    ...

    1. Sarah Balfour

      Re: Reminds me of Surfen Multimedia

      Probably sounds/reads better in German, right…? Still, I'm always seriously impressed by how well many Germans speak English; I was listening to a show on a station based in Hamburg the other day and the DJ kept dropping into English as though speaking his own language was too much effort! Made it easier for me to understand, though - mein Deutsch es nicht so gut to say the least! But many of the bands I love are German, and none get played on UK radio (except Rammstein). Trying to learn German so I can understand them, and I'm failing miserably! Many do write in English, but many don't.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    China

    In a country that venerates a man who is responsible for the deaths of at least 50 million of its citizens nothing surprises me.

    1. hplasm
      Meh

      Re: China

      "Internet power! The web is where glorious dreams are: examined and crushed."

      FTFThem

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: China

      well how about one that venerates a god responsible for the deaths of billions?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Re: China

      Given what the First Emperor (Chin) did to build the original Great Wall, is this at all surprising?

  4. Mark 85

    Oh joy, now a song... where's the dance?

    All things considered, this goes even further is proving that we don't want the Chinese involved in running the Internet. This sort of reminds of the "wearing ribbons of shame while standing on a street corner singing the company song".

  5. Michael Thibault
    Big Brother

    Yes, fine, but what we all want to know is...

    Does it scan?

    1. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

      Re: Yes, fine, but what we all want to know is...

      "Does it scan?"

      More to the point - will it blend?

  6. dan1980

    Is there a word for when you are amused and at the same tired rather horrified? If so, that's what I feel right now.

    1. Michael Thibault

      >Is there a word for when you are amused and at the same tired rather horrified?

      Probably. German. Probably.

      1. John H Woods Silver badge

        re: Portmanteau word needed ...

        ... horrimused?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Is there a word for when you are amused and at the same tired rather horrified?

      Russell Braindead?

  7. James 29

    Dont forget the classic, dont copy that floppy!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up863eQKGUI

  8. Trainee grumpy old ****
    Big Brother

    Screen behind the chorus

    Are those the lyrics that are being projected onto the screen at the back of the stage?

    Is the audience expected to sing along or is it just to reinforce the message?

    1. John G Imrie

      Re: Screen behind the chorus

      You will sing along. Singing is Mandatory.

      You will be Happy. Happiness is Mandatory.

      The Party is your Friend.

      Welcome to Paranoia CN. The new exciting extension to Paranoia XP.

  9. Identity
    Big Brother

    Sense aside,

    the music sounds more Soviet than Chinese...

  10. sisk
    Gimp

    Internet theme song already exists

    You know you know it. Sing it with me now....

    The internet is for porn

    The internet is for porn

    Grab your **** and double click for porn, porn, porn

    (It seems an appropriate counter to a censorship anthem to me.)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Internet theme song already exists

      Don't forget the chorus....

      ||: fap, fap....fap, fap, fap

      /fap, /fap..../fap, /fap, /fap

      fap, fap....fap, fap, fap

      /fap, /fap..../fap, /fap, /fap :||

  11. Florida1920
    Mushroom

    Meanwhile

    They hack our government, infrastructure and commercial sites and spam our forums. A plague on them, I say!

  12. admiraljkb
    Joke

    Needs more ....

    COWBELL!

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. DerekCurrie
    Mushroom

    Another URL For This Masterpiece Of Propaganda:

    If you, like I, are running into trouble playing this article's video on our glorious Internet that inexorably flows its way to the sea of great knowledge and wisdom, try the alternative URL below. Don't forget your barf bag:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0KH8Dn4dyo

    The supine and infectionous (sic) lyrics are posted below the video for your English translational enjoyment.

    :-Q*****

  14. wayward4now

    The rebuttal

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig2L4X6b6ZM

    Software freedom by Richard Stallman. I don't know which is scarier.

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