back to article Look out - it's a Goober! Google's über-Uber robo apptaxi ploy

Google may be working on an Uber-like service using autonomous vehicles, reports Bloomberg. The financial newswire's story says Google’s chief legal officer David Drummond, who sits on Uber's board, has mentioned Google's interest in some kind of Uber competitor, and that possible conflicts of interest are therefore being …

  1. Thorne

    Uber is safe but Google is betting on Johnny-Cabs replacing the taxi drivers. At some point Uber's drivers will get shafted and replaced by autonomous vehicles.

    Right or wrong, this is just what will happen and how Google is placing their bets.......

    1. James Micallef Silver badge

      No conflict of interest at all. Uber's business model is based on passing all the costs of capital, vehicle maintenance, insurance etc on to it's drivers to be able to provide service at a lower cost to the customer. If they can run a fleet of Google autocars (as close to 24-hours a day as is possible) at a lower cost than it takes to pay it's current human drivers, they will do so.

      And Google would be more than happy to provide Uber with cost-priced or even subsidised autocars just to get a fleet of them on the road and accepted in the public's consciousness, which will pave the way for mass sales.

      1. Fungus Bob

        Re: pave the way for mass sales

        Not necessarily, personal vehicle ownership has the following drawbacks:

        Costs for purchase, maintenance and insurance.

        Takes up space in the garage that could be better used for watching pornos.

        If it ain't in a garage, then its a hassle to move off the street whenever a snow emergency* is declared.

        All that crap for something that spends most of its time not being used vs. hiring a Johnny Cab any time of day whenever you need one...

        I'd take the Johnny Cab.

        *for the Britons, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snow_emergency

    2. TheVogon

      Presumably these will the privacy equivalent of using Google Chrome and The Borg will target all of your personal information to make the most money possible out of you.

      I for one expect to soon see lines of 'Borg-Mobiles' outside every strip club and whorehouse in town - so that Google can fully monetise targeting punters with adverts for one handed viewing material....

  2. xperroni
    Paris Hilton

    "The thot plickens"

    I just can't decide if this was a typo or some sort of joke I'm just not in to.

    1. Gray Ham Bronze badge

      Re: "The thot plickens"

      I think it may be Simon's little joke ... if you transpose the first and fourth letters of "Goober", what do you get? Or am I way off the mark ...

      1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

        Re: "The thot plickens"

        "The thot plickens" is a Spoonerism, but I'm not sure of the reason behind it.

        "Goober" seems to me to be nothing more than a portmanteau of Google and Uber.

        1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

          Re: "The thot plickens"

          "The thot plickens" is a Spoonerism, but I'm not sure of the reason behind it.

          ...other than humour.

          1. Fungus Bob

            Re: why a Spoonerism

            "...other than humour."

            Whiskey, lots of whiskey.

    2. Kobus Botes
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: "The thot plickens"

      An ex-boss of mine used to say "the plot sickens", which I found very appropriate. It could be applicable in this case.

      ------> Don't ask.

    3. JDX Gold badge

      Re: "Uber probably has a fair while before it needs to worry about this development"

      And that should've been "a FARE while", surely :)

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "The thot plickens"

      It is just another cunning stunt.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Google using information gathered for their own purposes?

    Google would never misuse data that they've obtained through normal provision of a service (such as money, directors, etc) for their own benefit, and I'm shocked that you could suggest such a thing! The company is a paragon of virtue for privacy, and fully respects everyone's IP...

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: Google using information gathered for their own purposes?

      I had to wipe the sarcasm off my desk, it was oosing out of the monitor.

  4. Sampler

    I'd be more shocked

    If Google WEREN'T planning a Jonny Cab style service, I mean, what a waste of a self driving vehicle if you're going to insist people own their own and it sits on the tarmac twenty two hours a day whilst you work and sleep..

    1. Thorne

      Re: I'd be more shocked

      People will still own their own and in fact will own more as people who can't drive will be able to use one.

      What it will do is kill off taxi drivers, truck drivers and car park attendants.

      1. xperroni
        Gimp

        Re: I'd be more shocked

        People will still own their own and in fact will own more as people who can't drive will be able to use one.

        I'm not too sure about that. If Google offered a subscription service where I would have a self-driving car available to summon or send off whenever I wanted, and if the price was right, I'd sign up and never bother owning a horseless carriage ever again. Never again bother with parking, insurance, revisions, lining up at gas stations? Oh if I ever see the day!...

      2. JDX Gold badge

        Re: What it will do is kill off taxi drivers, truck drivers and car park attendants.

        A bit like the Stephen King novel "Christine"?

        1. xperroni
          Devil

          Re: What it will do is kill off taxi drivers, truck drivers and car park attendants.

          A bit like the Stephen King novel "Christine"?

          ...though I bet that option would only be available at a premium, as part of the "plausible deniability" package.

      3. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

        Re: I'd be more shocked

        What it will do is kill off taxi drivers, truck drivers and car park attendants.

        Excellent.

        1. JDX Gold badge

          Re: I'd be more shocked

          Actually I'm surprised trucks aren't an area they're exploring more directly. It seems like a specific scenario especially well suited to automation, with pre-planned routes predominantly on 'easy' roads.

          1. @omgwtfbbq69

            Re: I'd be more shocked

            What you describe is a train.... pre-planned routes, easy roads, require very, very little human intervention per ton of cargo.

          2. Daniel B.

            Re: I'd be more shocked

            Actually I'm surprised trucks aren't an area they're exploring more directly. It seems like a specific scenario especially well suited to automation, with pre-planned routes predominantly on 'easy' roads.

            Ahhhh, instead of Stephen King's Christine, you're going for "Trucks"?

            1. Ole Juul

              Re: I'd be more shocked

              Rock trucks are often driverless. It saves on tires, gas, and maintenance. Check out the big Australian open pit mines. However, apart from probably needing large scale to save money, I'm guessing there's some other reason why this is not more common than it is.

      4. photobod

        Re: I'd be more shocked

        ..and buses

        1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

          Re: I'd be more shocked

          And planes - pilots are expensive and unreliable.

      5. LucreLout

        Re: I'd be more shocked

        People will still own their own and in fact will own more as people who can't drive will be able to use one.

        I'll buy one, IF they ever work (as in it literally drives itself without me at the controls). My 3 hour 15 minute a day commute would suddenly become productive, and at a price point of say £20k, represents only the next 3 or 4 years season ticket.

        Summoning one is unlikely to be cost effective for 80ish miles per day five days per week.

        What it will do is kill off taxi drivers, truck drivers and car park attendants.

        Train drivers too. There's no way to keep all that infrastructure running when people can pay about the same to be driven to work in a guaranteed seat, which is clean, air conditioned, and always on time. That's quite without the notion of changing public transport type several times on a convoluted route pre-determined by the public transport planners.

        Depending on the flexibility of large employers, it could ameliorate rush hour a little, as with onboard wifi, I could work on my way to work, so set off a little later. Worst case I use the time to sleep, study, or relax in front of a movie.

        I'll still keep my manual cars for fun driving, but commuting into London by car just isn't fun. And it's not a lot better on the train/tube.

        1. phil dude
          Thumb Up

          Re: I'd be more shocked

          I'm not so sure that autonomous vehicles will kill taxi, bus etc... as there will still be legal liability attached to the Human-in-the-loop (HITL).

          For example, in the personal driver scenario I have floated the idea (elsewhere on ElReg boards) that if the driver grabs the wheel (for non-emergency) the insurance rates will dynamically change to reflect this.

          Taxi cabs are not just people movers, but also luggage etc.. I suspect that for people needing help, taxis will still exist, although the transit will be autonomous, the driver will be legally liable/provided to help occupants. Vehicle ownership might not be needed?

          Finally, trucks already have the HITL as the legal guardian of the stock, as I am betting FedEx/UPS etc... do, so no loss of people there. Probably better behaved trucks though...

          What will change is that since accidental collisions will drop precipitously once a critical mass of AV's are on the road, the cost of ownership of a vehicle may simply be the risk of the human driving a rented vehicle. Insurance companies are not a charity and for the vast number of non-professional driving, insurance will simply be too expensive.

          The point missed by the general public is the critical threshold of AV's that will self-organise. The comment made above about Google using Uber as a front for this, may well be spot on.

          P.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: I'd be more shocked

            Taxi cabs are not just people movers, but also luggage etc.. I suspect that for people needing help, taxis will still exist, although the transit will be autonomous, the driver will be legally liable/provided to help occupants. Vehicle ownership might not be needed?

            Goober website: Dear traveller, thank-you for booking a taxi thru Goober. You have indicated that you have 3 large bags and will require assistance. To assist you, please note that a Google Red Cap will be present in your taxi when it arrives, and will assist you with your bags. Please be aware that the Google Red Cap will accompany you for a brief part of your journey so he can be returned to the nearest Red Cap Central Location ready to assist another passenger. This will only add a short ... <calculates> 52 miles and a brief <calculates> 72 minutes to your journey. Have a nice day!

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I'd be more shocked

          You don't really need train drivers now, there's lots of driverless systems already operating, some for over 25 years

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Free cars!

    Someone will find a security hole in it, Google claim the car's to old (needs it's 1st MOT) and then anyone will be able to hack into one and take it where they want for free, even if the passenger doesn't want to go there.

  6. RyokuMas
    Joke

    Okay, tinfoil hatter time...

    Does this explain the insane amount of tax on petrol and high public transport ticket prices in this country? Are they being artificially inflated in order to allow Google's "Johnny Cab" to move in at a cheaper rate, therefore encouraging people to use them and thus allowing Google and the government to track us all more effectively???

    And just to clarify before the usual howls of indignation start - this is intended as a joke...

    1. Sampler

      Re: Okay, tinfoil hatter time...

      Why would they need to track your car when you take your phone everywhere with you that egregiously tells you it's tracking your whereabouts at all times, to improve your experience..

    2. phil dude
      WTF?

      Re: Okay, tinfoil hatter time...

      No conspiracy, unless you think politicians voting on their own pay is dodgy...

      A shit government costs a lot of your money, and in the UK they have their claws in everywhere.

      Here in the US the gas price drops for the first time in a decade and the talking-heads can't wait to float the idea of "updating" the gas tax.

      Petrol is currently $1.79 US.Gal. here in Knox, TN. It makes a lot of things cheaper.

      P.

  7. Elmer Phud

    Not quite sure . . .

    . . . how I can fit my druk kit in a bloody Noddy car.

  8. DainB Bronze badge

    Surely it is so hard to make an app these days that you need to start years ahead of commercial availability of something this app is intended for. And apparently it's so ready that there are SCREENSHOTS !

  9. TricksterWolf

    lol

    Okay, The Register. After all these years, one of your headlines actually made me laugh.

    (please note it was not one containing the "boffins" um, "word")

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Will Google's autonomous vehicles be used by the NSA for renditions? You can get it, but you can never get out...

  11. Mike Flugennock

    All together, now...

    What could possibly go wrong?

  12. Dan Paul

    And you'll never beat the Unions

    The issue with unmanned vehicles success here, is that taxi's, truckers and bus drivers in the US have very militant unions that won't stand still for automation. Just as fully automatic steam boilers are still required to have their human "tender's" be onsite 24/7/365 in most cities, the same will happen with unmanned vehicles.

  13. dave 93

    We're all goofy Goobers, yea!

    (The creators of) Spongebob and Patrick have 'prior art' as Goobers. Just sayin'

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