back to article Last year was utter rubbish. Thanks for being part of it!

I’m glad 2014 is over. It was rubbish. However, given the circumstances, can we have it back please? This year is worse. Not only was last year crap for many, Facebook’s algorithm oompaloopas made sure they rubbed it in by showing us graphically how crap it was via its now-notorious Year in Review fail. To be fair, all it did …

  1. Pen-y-gors

    VATMOSS

    I must admit that I'm generally in favour of the idea of the EU, but this whole VAT thing really makes me wonder - Uk govt quite sensibly accepts the idea of de minimis and exempts very small businesses from registering for VAT. Why can't the EU do the same?

    And I'm sure the Amazon lawyers are currently working flat out to come up with a new loophole - e.g. every customer asks for the goods to be delivered to their 'residence' at No. 1 Amazon Subsidiary Crescent, Luxembourg, where the householder, Mrs Anne Mazon will kindly forward the stuff, free of charge, to their 'holiday' address in Croydon, Berlin or Piotrków Trybunalski. Luxumbourg VAT rates will apply....

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: VATMOSS

      It's not really a problem about VAT registration or exemption, at least not for me. To give it some credit, HMRC has come up with a single-registration scheme to cover the entire European Union, and adjusting prices for the 70-odd tax rates is something that online retail systems can handle on their own once you've set yours up.

      The big pain is the new requirement to collect three pieces of evidence from every customer to prove that they are purchasing your digital goods in the country they claim to be in at the moment of purchase, AND that I must maintain these intrusive personal records about complete strangers in an auditable format for 10 years. Having been forced to collect all this unwanted data, I am then personally responsible for its security - again for 10 years.

      When I sell you an eBook, all I want is your money. Now, though, I'll also need your inside leg measurements, DNA records and the deeds of your house - which I'll keep on a USB stick in my back pocket.

      1. DavCrav

        Re: VATMOSS

        "The big pain is the new requirement to collect three pieces of evidence from every customer to prove that they are purchasing your digital goods in the country they claim to be in at the moment of purchase, AND that I must maintain these intrusive personal records about complete strangers in an auditable format for 10 years. Having been forced to collect all this unwanted data, I am then personally responsible for its security - again for 10 years.

        When I sell you an eBook, all I want is your money. Now, though, I'll also need your inside leg measurements, DNA records and the deeds of your house - which I'll keep on a USB stick in my back pocket."

        To be fair on the EU and its constituents, the reason for the new rules is that you collectively, meaning Internet companies and small businesses, were taking the piss even more than non-Internet companies which, while they avoid corporation ax, at least pay business rates and VAT.

        1. Alistair Dabbs

          Re: VATMOSS

          Then they should make non-internet companies gather multiple pieces of evidence of customer existence with every sale, and force them to keep it for 10 years. Perhaps force shops to demand a passport from customers before they are permitted to buy anything. What do you think?

          1. Terry 6 Silver badge

            Re: VATMOSS

            @ Alistair D

            Isn't that what PCworld used to do, anyway.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: VATMOSS

        Odd that this seems to conflict with HMRC document

        The "Presumption rule" for instance makes it clear that VAT on mobile phone apps or services are tied to the country for which the SIM card is valid. If the order is by landline phone, then the country code of the phone applies.

        Otherwise, the required information seems to be two items of a set which includes the customer address, IP address, or bank details. If you use a payment provider, you can ask the customer for their address or phone number, and get the country code from the payment provider, so you don't need to record card details.

        It is entirely possible I have completely misunderstood this, so perhaps AD will tell me where I've got it wrong.

        1. Alistair Dabbs

          Re: VATMOSS

          This is probably not a major issue for international corporations. It is for small businesses.

      3. Dan 55 Silver badge
        WTF?

        Re: VATMOSS

        Three pieces of evidence? What more could they possibly want apart from address and credit card number?

        What happens if a customer phones their order in from abroad or sends an order by post (allow 28 days for delivery) just out of interest? I'm pretty sure the UK VAT rate is charged, or at least it was until this latest change. The Internet seems special and magic for some reason.

  2. ciaran

    Who actually told Kim about the film?

    I'd never heard of "The Interview" before the attack. If you were a quaking servant to Kim, and you'd found out about an upcoming file by secretly surfing IMBD, would you tell him? So who did? Maybe Sony sent a personal invite to the premier ? Bullshit on max, I agree.

  3. Terry 6 Silver badge

    Gosh

    I was giggling for ages after this one.

    Well done that Dabbs.

  4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

    Stay Puft Kim, Stay Puft

    Is that some colonial reference to the Pilsbury Dough Boy?

    1. Stumpy

      Re: Stay Puft Kim, Stay Puft

      Go watch Ghostbusters...

    2. skeptical i
      Devil

      Re: Stay Puft Kim, Stay Puft

      Something nice and harmless from my childhood -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPr7cYLq3dk -- (~4:48, with subtitles, including an amusing "mother puss bucket" PG-ism).

      1. Omgwtfbbqtime
        Facepalm

        Re: Stay Puft Kim, Stay Puft

        Along with the other PGisms in Ghostbusters:

        "Until Dickless here turned off the grid!"

        "Is this true?"

        "Yes your honour, this man has no dick."

        and

        "I've seen shit that would turn you white!"

        Wait... what?

  5. cd

    Smack Dabb On

    Good 'un.

    ciaran, coulda been Dennis Rodman that let him know...

  6. Mark 85

    VATMOSS????

    It sounds more like something unpleasant left in the refrigerator than a tax.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: VATMOSS????

      Wasn't it the gloopy subterranean entity in Barbarella? Oh, that was Matmos.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: VATMOSS????

        Wasn't that the device on Dr Who that filled everywhere with an unwanted toxic mess that no one could turn off? Yep sounds like same thing.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oblig. Godwin

    The only problem with the idea that the helots see through their leaders is that almost all the Germans who were alive by 1939 really did believe that Hitler was an inspired leader of the German people who would bring them to fulfil their glorious destiny, usw. The apparently obvious fact that he looked like a creepy weirdo in a silly uniform shouting complete bollocks completely passed them by. It's the reality distortion factor. I couldn't possibly mention certain British politicians who seem equally odd yet attract a following.

    As a minor point, I was pleased to learn about the attempt by Facebook to replace all those awful round-robins people used to send out (till the late Simon Hoggart ridiculed them) with a digital version. It reinforced my belief in my policy of ignoring Facebook, and using Privacy Badger to stop it tracking me on the web via those buttons it uses.

    The animals looked from Kim to Zuckerberg, and Zuckerberg to Kim, and saw that it was increasingly difficult to tell the difference.

    1. 's water music

      Re: Oblig. Godwin

      As a minor point, I was pleased to learn about the attempt by Facebook to replace all those awful round-robins people used to send out

      I get one of those from an acquaintance. After five years I'm still unable to make my mind up as to whether he lacks any sense of self awareness or is a master satirist. He never seemed to be a massive dick IRL but he is plenty Blackheath enough for them to be genuine.

  8. DanceMan

    Silly Hats

    I've long had a theory that the larger the brim on military hats, the more tinpot the country.

    Or goose-stepping soldiers on parade.

    1. Irony Deficient

      Re: Silly Hats

      DanceMan, that would be gratifying to the indigenous troops of 19th century Italian East Africa, whose military hats were brimless.

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Silly Hats

      Spain brings out the goat and a load of extras from a Village People video every year if that floats your boat...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boahBOK-Fxg

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  9. regadpellagru

    Cracking, really

    "Is it Facebook’s fault that you spent the year uploading pictures of demised pets, crematorium jars, and cheating boyfriends? Is it up to Facebook to decide that you didn’t want to be reminded of all those workplace selfies you posted of you urinating in the boss’s waste bin shortly before being sacked, or that you were accidentally tagged in 200 images of revenge porn?"

    This one just cracked me up. Nice one, Monsieur Dabbs.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Cheers Dabsey

    Yep - 'tis a funny old world we live in.

    We have some really odd dictatorships like them thar Norks with properly comedic figureheads and dreadfully abused populus.

    We here meanwhile continue to whinge about how abused our freedoms are - on open forums - with no chance of being shot for making comments like this. C'est la vie

    Je suis Charlie

  11. T J

    Come on the great South, we're rooting for you

    When the hell is South Korea just going to annex this bunch of clowns. China has already washed its hands of them, Russia couldn't care less, and the populace of the North will welcome it ecstatically.

    Counting down.... counting dowwwwwn.....

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Re: Come on the great South, we're rooting for you

      The Norks have actual nuclear weapons, and a history of doing the batshit insane.

      Remember that much of South Korea is within artillery range, so they don't need a high tech delivery system.

      'ing terrifying really.

      1. defiler

        Re: Come on the great South, we're rooting for you

        Much of South Korea is in artillery range if you have a modern artillery. Most of North Korea's pieces are obsolete which could merrily shell Seoul if it wasn't 30 miles out of range.

        Remember, this is a nation which is still flying MiG-17s...

        1. Potemkine Silver badge

          Re: Come on the great South, we're rooting for you

          No true, regarding artillery. Also, NK has a bunch of short and mid-range rockets.

          cf. A Look At North Korea's Artillery Shows Why No One Wants War

    2. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Come on the great South, we're rooting for you

      I kind of hoped that Kim Jong Il's successor might do a Gorbachev and simply give up, but no. When KJ Un dies in 80 years' time, there may be another opportunity.

      1. dogged

        Re: Come on the great South, we're rooting for you

        > KJ Un

        Oh, now you did it. Now he is forever a Tomblyboo in my head.

  12. MatsSvensson

    They should have Kim in the new Ghost-busters movie.

    He can be both the floating green ball of lard, and the balloon-monster that gets zapped into a river of jizz at the end.

    Lets make it a Christmas-tradition, to show at least one movie were his divine flabbiness gets blown away every year.

  13. ukgnome

    Hmm I am on to you Dabbs

    That was cleverly written to put us off from the fact that you are actually responsible.

    I almost fell for it and then you made the spiderman 2 quip.

    That totally gave you away.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He can fly a plane and watch tanks go by...

    Another previously unsuspected talent of the Dear Leader is that he stars in computer security training films: the picture accompanying the article is clearly a still from a film demonstrating the risk of shoulder-surfing while entering passwords.

  15. Benjol
    Coffee/keyboard

    "He takes it all in his waddle"

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